Off- Topic

[Andromeda Black Tonks]

Being a past cutter who actually did do it properly and nearly killed herself, I don't really have much to say on this except to thank my brother for saving my life and than thanking the two people who became my friends afterwards (and thankfully not because of the scars) and made my life worth living.

You'd be surprised what can send a person over the edge.  

[Sirius Black-Snuffles]

*hugs Severus* Love To You.

But yes, the cutters around my highschool--most of them do it where you can see it and only did it the first few times to get attention (though they'll deny it) and now they really can't stop.

*sigh* I'm working on it with one of my friends, me and her boyfriend both, it's getting better which is a relief. I tried to help another one--but her problem is that it's the only way to keep her alive. If her dad thinks she's too happy in life (her mom died when she was 10) then he beats her, she can't leave because of her sister. And that drives me insane because if he kills her and then gets locked up--her sister is going to be screwed ten times worse than if my friend grabs her and runs while some one calls CPA.  

[Graphiti Skies]

*fidgets*

All I'm going to say is what Severus said above.

You'd be suprised at what can send a person over the edge.

However, you'd also be suprised at how much bullshit they'll go through on just one tiny speck of hope.

I'm not going to go into my issues. We just... we won't go there. Not that anything I've been through is particularlly horrible it just... well, s**t builds ya know? And sometimes you really don't have anyone there, ya know?

I never did any of it for attention though. Usually it was because I had done something stupid or... something else.

I'm not even going to get into the suicide bit.

Just... don't ever say that cutters or suicidal people are weak. We're not if we're willing to face what everyone else is afraid of: death.  

[Sirius Black-Snuffles]

If you cut or are suicidal, and you're not looking for attention and a shoulder to wail upon about your over exaggerated problems--you are strong.

I would never think any different because of the number of times I've almost commited suicide (this fact scares a lot of people because "Well Jessy's always happy and never has problems and doesn't know what it's like" is usually the thought most of them have about me. Yesterday a few good friends of mine put down transgenders and I had an awful day because lately I've been toying around with the idea again and how great it would be if I could get a sex change--so I scared a lot of people by being very silent and depressed because I've never really thought about what my friends would do)

But, if you're anything like some of the "cutters" I know...*twitches* Oh no...the boy you didn't even like broke up with you--never mind the fact you've been ranting very loudly near his friends (of all people) about breaking up with him for the past month. He broke up with you Now you have to be depressed and you have to have someone to wail to or else you'll cut. Because if everyone is caught up in their own problems and can't drop everything to hear about how much you hate him you'll threaten to cut yourself by subtly going "Oh...ok, I'm just going to go to the bathroom *checks to make sure that there is a sharp object in purse/pocket/bottom of shoe*"--and that never fails to get someone's attention and you know it.  

[Graphiti Skies]

HKBlack

If you cut or are suicidal, and you're not looking for attention and a shoulder to wail upon about your over exaggerated problems--you are strong.

I would never think any different because of the number of times I've almost commited suicide (this fact scares a lot of people because "Well Jessy's always happy and never has problems and doesn't know what it's like" is usually the thought most of them have about me. Yesterday a few good friends of mine put down transgenders and I had an awful day because lately I've been toying around with the idea again and how great it would be if I could get a sex change--so I scared a lot of people by being very silent and depressed because I've never really thought about what my friends would do)

But, if you're anything like some of the "cutters" I know...*twitches* Oh no...the boy you didn't even like broke up with you--never mind the fact you've been ranting very loudly near his friends (of all people) about breaking up with him for the past month. He broke up with you Now you have to be depressed and you have to have someone to wail to or else you'll cut. Because if everyone is caught up in their own problems and can't drop everything to hear about how much you hate him you'll threaten to cut yourself by subtly going "Oh...ok, I'm just going to go to the bathroom *checks to make sure that there is a sharp object in purse/pocket/bottom of shoe*"--and that never fails to get someone's attention and you know it.

Those people I can't ******** stand and will just let them go and destroy themselves. The world doesn't need whiny little bitches, so they can go right ahead and die.

Not that they would because they don't have the guts to do that anyway.

This entire conversation is totally reafirming my idea to make a grouptherapy/support thread in the guild here. It's just a question of whether or not the right people will use it. Which is another reason why we need to clean out the member list I think.  

[Lunar_Blade]

The group-therapy sounds a great idea Graphi.

I'm not a cutter myself, never even considered it. Didn't go suicidal, nothing like that. So my advice is probably worth jack.

Anyway, whenever my dad yells at my mum or myself you go somewhere else in your head. I go to the rp and just block out my dad's voice. It's hard but it takes practice.

My mum can block out sound and I'm learning how to do it too because it is helpful. *nods*

Man... That sounded arrogant didn't it? Bah.

My friend is a cutter, so is her sister. They had a bunch of mental problems too, and they're dad left them. That IS a reason. What ticks me off is people who cut over boyfriends/girlfriends. (However if the bf or gf is a druggy who beats you up or is evil or something like that then thats an ok reason)

You love, you lose. That's it. Just keep trying. I just side-step around the whole thing. I don't want to love.  

[Graphiti Skies]

Lunar_Blade

The group-therapy sounds a great idea Graphi.

I'm not a cutter myself, never even considered it. Didn't go suicidal, nothing like that. So my advice is probably worth jack.

Anyway, whenever my dad yells at my mum or myself you go somewhere else in your head. I go to the rp and just block out my dad's voice. It's hard but it takes practice.

My mum can block out sound and I'm learning how to do it too because it is helpful. *nods*

Man... That sounded arrogant didn't it? Bah.

My friend is a cutter, so is her sister. They had a bunch of mental problems too, and they're dad left them. That IS a reason. What ticks me off is people who cut over boyfriends/girlfriends. (However if the bf or gf is a druggy who beats you up or is evil or something like that then thats an ok reason)

You love, you lose. That's it. Just keep trying. I just side-step around the whole thing. I don't want to love.

I used to do that too, the whole going somewhere else in your head thing. It's hard to do.

After a while though, I couldn't keep running and I had to face whatever it was in the end anyway. Sometimes, that's harder than locking yourself away in your head.

And if you've had bad stuff happen to you and you're not a cutter, good. It means you're stronger than the rest of us. *hugs*  

[Andromeda Black Tonks]

I'm not sure...but Rem's getting on in a few minutes...I just talked to him...he's at his grandparents house and he wanted to check everything out before going to bed. Has to get up at 7:00 tomorrow...but Rem will most likely have a few things to say on this topic.

I'm signing off. I posted in the rp. It was nice talking to you.  

[Ex-Professor Remus Lupin]

I never did the cutter thing...I was the idiot that got the headache and than on some stupid thing took thirty tylenol and collapsed at work. I don't know why...all I can remember is the headache and fact that it wasn't going away and I wanted it to go away.

It was the day after my boyfriend and I had broken up for the second time so...I can't defend the action. I was just being stupid I suppose.  

[Sirius Black-Snuffles]

I have to agree on Luny with all you people and your boyfriends (normally I would add in "and girlfriends" but considering the fact that our men here are just a bunch of pansys... xp Love you guys! heart )

But I side step the issue soley because--yeah I am kind of afraid of it. At times it's more than just "I have my friends' relationships to deal with, I don't need my own" every now and then I get afraid that I'll unknowingly become dependent on some one and they let me and they leave me.

Which is why I have my current crush because I know he wouldn't let me get dependent on him because we just fit so well. He'd always keep me on my toes looking out for his next move (not like "oh is he going to leave me" but more like "what the hell is that idiot doing now? ACK! I didn't call you an idiot! I swear! *run*") And if something ever did flip suddenly and I started to get dependent on him for things that I can do perfectly fine by myself--and I'll show it off at times too (ha! I'm independent, relationships? BAH! Who needs them?) he'd push me away or do something completely insane just to push me back and give me a major reality check.

How do I know this? Because I lived with him for three weeks (it felt like years...amazing sometimes) and we did it constantly--and even now he does that to me.

((I sound like a love-sick fool...I just talked to him...he called me like 5 minutes ago when I got home from a friends party. We called him about 45 minutes ago while we were there and he was asleep. So he just called me to go "They're all morons...and now I can't go back to sleep...talk about something boring." So after debating with him about what's boring and what's not boring he finally goes "fighting makes me tired...night" and hung up... sweatdrop he's weird))  

[Ex-Professor Remus Lupin]

I have these issues about getting attached to people as well. That's why Rae and I have broken up two times. I always push him away when things start to get too serious. There are times when I can't see my life with anyone but him...but sometimes I think he's going to realize that I'm not worth all this trouble. *shrugs* I don't really think I am...but I blame my low self esteem. I don't really know if we'll ever be able to get past this wall I've built.  

[Sirius Black-Snuffles]

...*pulls out a sledge hammer and places it down on a random table, then writes on it with a huge sharpie "RAE: To help your really great boyfriend past his wall because obviously you two go well together. Use it wisely--you wind up hurting him--well, every one has their rabid fangirl side--do not make us invoke our wrath upon you."*

... ...

*hugs Moony*

... ... heart heart heart  

[Ex-Professor Remus Lupin]

Thanks HK...I think I'll be going to bed now...the sooner I get to sleep...the sooner this wedding is over...and the sooner I can maybe...get home.  

[Sirius Black-Snuffles]

^_^ Much love to you. You're one of the awesomest people I know.

(sad when the coolest people you know--you met online sweatdrop )

And good night, sleep tight, don't let the bed bugs bite.

And if they do...eat them.

Extra protein... wink  

[Graphiti Skies]

You all are really great people. I feel bad actually, for not telling you anything about myself ever. And I'm really not sure why I never do that. :/

I hope everyone has a decent day tomorrow.