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 Posted: Mon Apr 05, 2010 11:01 pm
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What a shock, it was so surprising,
You looked so small and frail------------------------------------------------}:- 
Izzy Lucky
At times life can be so enlightening .uoy no nrut nac ti tuB
Izzy practically paled into a shade of parchment when he heard the knock and Nakai poked his head in. He had never wanted Nakai to see this! How could he do his job now? How could he even face his Star now!? Narcissus was ruining everything and probably enjoyed it too. Izzy hadn't thought about quiting before but now his image had gone from good to sleeze in a matter of moments. He was ashamed to admit he had ever had an interest in Narcissus. Now he just felt quite a bit of self loathing.
Izzy banged against the door and hit the back of his head in the process; sending stars shooting across his eyes. His chest felt the heavy pressure as he gasped in a breath. Each word struck him not as a physical blow but as a horrible promise of the future to come. He never expected such cruelty and now he was paying the price for his lack of foresight.
All Izzy could do was remain silent, as Koyasu-san finally released him and walked off. Izzy hated that Nakai had to see or hear any of that. And in his own internal shock, all he could do was stare at the wall for a moment before walking over to the table and uprighting it once more.
He slowly picked up the papers one by one, wondering why he was even going to continue this meeting at all. "I'm...sorry you had to see that, Nakai." he said with a very slow and quieter voice as he set the papers down in a pile that was neither neat or organized but at least, it was on the table again.
He took a handkerchief out of his pocket and tried to find his center realizing he had a job to do. That came first and foremost even if the rest of his life was hell. He couldn't be like his in front of his Star. And...well, Nakai didn't seem the type to care about others from what he had seen so far. But he didn't want to be perceived as incapable, even if at the moment, he just wanted to hide in a bathroom and cry.
Looking up at Nakai, he finally said in a calmer voice covered by a deep breath, "Would you like to talk about your schedule first? I've created a chart here...in regards to your performance record and I thought...we could go over it." His hands pushed through the papers trying to find the work he had done among the mess Narcissus had made.
-:{------------------------------------------------I didn't know what to do
I grabbed the tiger by the tail! |
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Posted: Tue Apr 06, 2010 11:27 am
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Posted: Tue Apr 06, 2010 11:46 am
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'Why is my hip vibrating?'
That was the first thought.
The second went something more like...
'Who the hell's sending me a text message?!'
Naoko quickly released the wheelchair, luckily they were right outside Ryu's apartment, and pulled the cellphone from his pocket.
Three things happened simultaneously.
The first, was that Naoko immediately paled.
The second, was his eyes widened so fast and so suddenly, that they appeared bugged.
And the third, was that his fingers started typing away at the keys.
TEXT 1:
WTH?! If you dare come here I'll kick your a**. Meet me at the bar in fifteen.
P.S. if you'd been through what I have today, your hair would look like s**t too, damnit!
'This is bad... bad... very very f***ing bad...' Naoko thought to himself, almost panicking.
"That b*****d..." sighing, acting as if he was pissed off completely, NAKO unlocked Ryu's door and took him into the apartment. "Ryu-kun, seems I'm going to have to leave for a little while. Not long. It's just Scott did something incredibly stupid again... the b*****d..."
Okay, so that was a slight lie... but if Sai knew where Naoko was... then it wasn't far from the truth to guess that Scott had told him.
'God, I need a restraining order...' he thought before bowing. "Gomen, Ryu-kun... but I'll be right back... and I'll bring soup! I swear!"
It didn't take long for Naoko to dash out the door and start walking down the street... all the while running fingers through is hair in some attempt to make it more presentable.
Otherwise he had a feeling Sai would brush it for him...
Twelve minutes later... he was at the very bar which the day before, he had taken Ryu to.
Ah... good memories...
Memories that made his pants tighten a tiny bit, until he managed to quell them with other less distracting thoughts.
One of which was... 'Why the hell is he even here?!'
The bartender smiled at him as she pointed to the very same booth which he and Ryu had occupied before.
His booth... which was free.
"I'm expecting someone..." NAKO told her before heading over to the booth. "If he comes in, would you mind?"
The woman shook her head, "Anything for you, hun."
Glad that she was still accommodating... especially after the last time and the ensuing incident... Naoko took a seat in the curtained booth.
Though not before having ordered a rum and sprite before hand.
Sipping the drink, Oumori was doing everything he could to try and get his mind off the myriad of ways this all could end badly...
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Posted: Tue Apr 06, 2010 1:45 pm
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Do you know what you got into
Can you handle what I’m ’bout to do------------------------------------------------}:- 
SAI
No escaping when I start .traeh ruoy nwo I ni m'I ecnO
Text 3:
Demo Otouto no kare o aitai! LOL! Alright, I will meet you in 15.
Text 4:
Fingers will not fix it, Naoko.
Sai chuckled as he set down his phone on the seat. That last text came from experience. Soon he drove off. He approved of the surprised reaction he witnessed through the binoculars. Maybe Naoko's only saving grace at the moment was that Sai had a unpredictable personality and today, so he chose a text message rather than...just showing up on Ryu's doorstep.
So he turned the car around, and headed to the bar that he knew well enough. It would be fun to see how the little game played out today. Instead of rushing in, he let Naoko arrive first. As fast as Naoko arrived, he must have been quite serious about Sai not meeting Ryu today. That amused the man quite a bit as he got out of the car bringing along a small satchel under his arm.
Glancing about the bar, he spied the bar maid and asked about Naoko with a delighted smile upon his face. The woman happily showed him to Naoko's booth taking his order as soon as he sat down.
"Mmm...a Kahlua and Cream over ice please." he said to the barmaid. A chai or a spring time tea would have been preferable but the bar probably wasn't that accommodating, so he settled on an old standby.
As soon as she walked away, he winked at his brother as his mirthful gaze fully focused upon him, "Tsk tsk...I told you that fingers won't do. Now...be a good boy and let me take care of it" He plucked a horse hair brush out of his satchel then reseated himself beside his brother in the booth and gently drew him in to brush those locks. He wouldn't take no for an answer on this; he never did...so it was best that Naoko behaved.
While he dragged the brush through the hair in smooth even strokes, he casually made pleasant conversation, "It's been awhile, otouto. I think you just about shed a skin when you saw my text. I must say it was quite endearing. So, how have you been?"
He paused for just a moment as his drink arrived and briefly sipped upon its creamy contents before returning to the brushing. "I'm sure you're wondering why I'm in town. Well, It just so happens that I had a few business matters to attend to so I thought I'd see my adorable little brother...and catch up." With that he tucked his brush back in the satchel and returned to the other seat across from Naoko. "That's better." he said as his eyes roamed Naoko's hair with a satisfied smile upon his lips.
"You were saying in your text that you had a rough day? I'd love to hear what has been keeping you busy. You rarely call." He childed with just a wag of a finger while he took up his drink. "One would think you might be avoiding me?" Ah, well he knew that was partially true. He and Naoko were close siblings after all.
"You're boyfriend is so petite! You must tell me about him. I think I've actually seen a solo performance or two of his. He has quite a wiggle to his hips if I remember correctly." The impish twinkle to his eyes always seemed to have additional questions but he left that for Naoko to muse upon. For now, he was content to see his little brother squirm just a bit.
(oops...forgot that translations for folks. It says... "But I want to meet your boyfriend!)
-:{------------------------------------------------Cause it’s about to get rough for you
I’m here For Your Entertainment |
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Posted: Tue Apr 06, 2010 5:58 pm
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Ryuukaze
“I don't want to achieve immortality through my work. I want to achieve it through not dying.”
Strange. Indeed, that was the proper word for the turn things had taken, yet again. Damn strange.
One the one hand, Ryu was glad to be home, despite being in quite a bit of pain. On the other hand, just when he wanted to have some time with Naoko, his lover had gotten a message on his phone and run off. The pianist might have said it had something to do with his manager, but Ryuukaze was 99% certain that was a lie.
It wasn't like him to be suspicious, but after today, it couldn't be helped. The first though to cross the violinist's mind was that Naoko was running off to see Kai, or maybe even some other lover.
Shaking his head, Ryu tried to put such thoughts out of his mind, though that was easier said than done.
Naoko was out the door before Ryu even had time to say a word.
His lover had bowed to him and left without even a kiss.
"Goodbye, Na-kun..." Ryu said to an empty room.
“For Love is Immortality.” |
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Posted: Tue Apr 06, 2010 9:54 pm
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"You have s**t for timing..." Naoko spoke angrily, sitting in the booth with his arms crossed over his chest.
He didn't look happy... far from it... and with one knee crossed over the other, NAKO looked ready to bolt if he could so much as run.
But not with Sai...
For starters, Sai would catch him... but even if he ran, his brother would appear at Ryu's apartment and make himself known.
He would also probably let spill a few secrets that Naoko would rather die than have revealed...
"My hair is fine, damnit. Just..." sighing, the blond rolled his eyes and let Sai do as he wanted. Look... niisan... I'd rather not talk about what happened today. Everything's already f***ed up and your little appearance isn't helping. If you hadn't noticed, my boyfriend just got out of the hospital and I'm in a piss poor mood."
He pulled his pack of smokes from his jacket, tapping one out before lighting it and taking a long drag.
"What business could you possibly have here, niisan?" the blond looked over at his brother, now that the other young man was finished with that accursed hair brush. "Of course I've been avoiding you. I'm trying to live a somewhat normal life, Sai. That doesn't include... well... well you for the most part." Naoko sighed, drinking down about half of his sprite and rum. "Ryu is off limits, Sai. Don't even think about it."
Oh how he wanted to send Ryu a text and let the man know that he hadn't meant to run out like that.
But if Sai met Ryu... if he got within five feet of Ryu... then Naoko knew it would be all over.
Everything he had worked for, relationship-wise... was at stake.
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Posted: Tue Apr 06, 2010 10:59 pm
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Do you know what you got into
Can you handle what I’m ’bout to do------------------------------------------------}:-
SAI
No escaping when I start .traeh ruoy nwo I ni m'I ecnO
"Ah...yes I heard about your boyfriend was injured. I'll have flowers sent." he said as he set down his glass and brushed his own hair back away from his eyes. Oh he knew Naoko wouldn't want him sending flowers but he might anyway. "So did Ryu put you in this piss poor mood or was it something else? Or is it because you've not had it in awhile?" He tilted his head as he watched Naoko's face just waiting to read the unsaid words upon it.
"My appearance not helping? Goodness Naoko. You're so unkind. I could have visited you at Ryu's apartment instead and made a proper introduction but I was thinking of you of all things." he scolded his brother with a light touch of sarcasm. "I was nice enough to text you first."
He shook his head and leaned back in the booth with his arms spreading over the top edge, "You know, I do have to work for a living. So business has me here for a time. I thought you'd be happy to see me and could show me around Tokyo" Work yes but at god knows what. Sai never spoke about his job, but even Naoko knew his brother had made a fair profit. Whatever it was, Sai wasn't poor.
"I see. A normal life? Otouto, if you really wanted that you wouldn't be a musician." he grinned just a little because that was quite true, even though he knew that Naoko knew he meant something else entirely. One still however, had to be pretty unusual to make it in the Japanese music industry.
For a short moment, Sai stopped and just stared at Naoko when he spoke. His face unreadable with the statement. But as the seconds ticked by, it was like his mood had shifted and lightened again, "Now that is just hurtful, Naoko. You enjoyed the times we've shared together. You cannot tell me you didn't. I'm still your older brother...and I do love you, dearly."
But then Sai laughed and his voice was purely melodious in that laughter, "Off limits? Now what did you think I might do? Eat him alive?" A mischievous smile blossomed across his lips knowing exactly what Naoko might be thinking at that very instance. Then, his words slipped just at the edge of a more serious tone, "You know I will meet him sooner or later. So you might want to reassemble that line of thinking and prepare for the inevitable. Wouldn't you rather introduce me properly or should I create my own entrance?" He knew as he tapped those buttons Naoko's heart might start racing...or maybe it already was.
-:{------------------------------------------------Cause it’s about to get rough for you
I’m here For Your Entertainment |
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Posted: Wed Apr 07, 2010 4:56 pm
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"Yeah well... you haven't really given me much of a choice in how I'm acting toward you right now." Naoko replied, averting his gaze from his older brother.
In truth, the blond loved Sai. Not really in a physical sense, though the same couldn't be said for Sai's feelings for Naoko... but in a brotherly sense. Sai had always been there when he needed him... always had great advice...
Even if he had used NAKO as a guinea pig for the latest in fashion as a kid...
"Gomen..." the pianist whispered. "I've had a lot of stress lately and no outlet for it. Between my manager nearly killing my lover, my lover nearly drowning before that, and a heated exchange between one of Ohayou Productions' stars... yesterday and today have been horrific..."
Well, maybe not completely horrific... he had met Ryu and Nakai after all.
Though the latter wasn't really on his good list at the moment.
Naoko downed the rest of his drink, tempted to order another, but knew that if he did... he'd have to explain to Ryu why he was tipsy.
Instead, the blond stood and headed over to the bar. Luckily, the place was ALSO a cafe... and they had soup... which he promptly ordered some 'to-go', before sitting back down in the booth.
"I just want to be normal in the sense of relationships. You knew... I mean... well..." he averted his amber gaze again, suddenly rather uncomfortable. "You knew what I went through when HE just disappeared... I don't want that again... and right now I'm not so sure that Ryu's not going to disappear as well..."
Not to mention Nakai... but how could he even BEGIN to approach that subject with his brother?
Sighing, Naoko shook his head. "I'll arrange for you to meet Ryu, niisan... but not until he's better. I know what you'll do... or try to do... and I'd rather not have to drag you off him right now."
Somehow, NAKO was able to ignore the 'i do love you dearly' comment and what preceded it. How, the man didn't know... but he really didn't want to get into Sai's 'brother complex' feelings for him right then.
After all, Naoko was already confused enough...
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Posted: Wed Apr 07, 2010 6:03 pm
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Do you know what you got into
Can you handle what I’m ’bout to do------------------------------------------------}:-
SAI
No escaping when I start .traeh ruoy nwo I ni m'I ecnO
Sai just sighed softly as Naoko spoke. His brother always seemed in some bit of inner turmoil when it came to men. In that Sai shook his head slowly. "Naoko, you always seem to have the worse luck with men. You're manager though, he was the cause of your lover's injury? Are you...serious?" These words caused the Sai's eyes to narrow just a bit. There was more for him to think about now...than just his brother's sorrows.
Sai was very aware of work and considering a few things he hadn't even told Naoko, this would definitely be an issue he would have to address. "I had no idea that your manager would do something like that to a musician. Was he trying to get rid of the competition? Or what?" He paused as if lost in thought for a moment before reaching out to take Naoko's hand.
"Yes, I know what you went through when that man disappeared and I know that trouble hasn't been eased from your mind even now. Ryu...I don't think he will just disappear unless you give him a good reason to want to leave. However, Naoko are you ready for a normal relationship?" Sometimes Sai could be the best of brothers. And well this time was one of those...at least for now.
Sai's mood could shift and he could become much more interested in other things...like costuming...or...a smile hinted just at the edge of his lips but still held back by his concern. "But I think there is more to it than just Ryu. You're not good at hiding things from me, Otouto. Although, I can wait until you wish to reveal it or it reveals itself to me."
"Alright, I suppose I can wait until he is well. It is probably for the best because while I am in town I've quite a bit of business to take care of. So arrange a meeting when it is suitable." He took the compromise since Naoko had much more on his mind that he previous expected. And now he had something to think about as well...Scott. Yes, that could be a problem. One he might have to fix.
So instead of digging a bit further, he scooted around to the other booth seat and just encircled Naoko in his arms protectively; kissing the top of his head. "There there...Just relax, Otouto. I'm here."
-:{------------------------------------------------Cause it’s about to get rough for you
I’m here For Your Entertainment |
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Posted: Wed Apr 07, 2010 6:21 pm
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All the while, Naoko didn't pull away.
Not the hand, nor the embrace.
In a strange way, it was comforting... to have his older brother there, wanting to make sure he was alright.
Sai was the only one who understood him... who REALLY understood him... and while that was a frightening thought to say the least...
It was incredibly comforting at the moment.
"You don't have to coddle me like a baby..." Naoko whispered, blushing just a tiny bit, though more out of embarrassment for his older brother seeing him in such a state.
The knowledge that he might need to tell Sai what had happened... EVERYTHING that had happened... well...
It would reveal some rather personal aspects.
And yet...
"I'm... involved..." NAKO spoke softly, wanting his brother to know the truth.
Even if he couldn't really tell Ryu all the truth...
"Everything started yesterday... I met these two guys... Ryu and Kai and we were um... going to enjoy each others company, only Kai was called to work. He's a musician too... looks like me actually... and so Ryu and I came here for a drink." the blond sighed, closing his eyes as he rested in Sai's embrace. "We made a scene, ended up leaving, and went to a bath house... only we weren't really finished with our scene and... well... Ryu got stuck..." Naoko winced.
This was so embarrassing!
"We learned our lesson about underwater frivolity, alright... but still... he almost died. I felt bad... really bad... so I went home with him. Well no, he bought me a puppy first in an attempt to say he was sorry for almost getting himself killed. In the morning, Scott called. I had a meeting. I told him I'd be there soon because I was still finishing up the song I was going to present... but the b*****d's impatient. He tried to kidnap me from Ryu's apartment... only Ryu chased after him and... fell down the stairwell..." ask Naoko was speaking, the anger left his voice, only to be replaced by a pale worried look. "If Ryu's neighbor hadn't been a nurse and working in pre-med... he would've died in the hall... but we got him to the hospital and they said he might never be able to sing again. So I offered him a position in 'Hikari ya Yami' as a violinist, because honestly I've been wanting to add to the band's sound. So I went to the meeting and met the new members, only apparently we're still short a vocalist..."
Ah... if he only knew...
"When I left, I was on my way to check on Ryu and Kai kinda grabbed me and pulled me into the alley. I mean, it's not like I didn't like him... or... what we were suddenly doing... but it was a f***ing alley!" NAKO sighed, trying to temper down his temper. "And somewhere along the way Kai's manager appeared and Kai was actually trying to get him to... enjoy me... or me enjoy him... I'm not sure which but it... it got out of hand. Especially when my new drummer showed up and it became apparent that he and Kai had a relationship. So not only did I feel bad about Ishi, my drummer... but then I felt like s**t for betraying Ryu like that... and when he was in the hospital no less!" he sighed again, and for a long moment, said not a word. But soon, the blond was finishing. "I talked to Kai's manager afterward, then headed to the hospital. I... I told Ryu what I'd done... I mean we didn't go all the way or anything, not like when I was first with Ryu... but... still... Ryu's hurt, physically and emotionally... and it's my fault on both accounts..."
Oh yes, Naoko felt like s**t again. He was half tempted to just cling to Sai and cry.
He could have used a good cry.
But somehow... crying just wasn't in him at the moment... in fact, it was rarely in him. Naoko despised weepy ukes, and refused to turn into one himself.
He wanted his partner rough... dominant... demanding... not catering to his every crying whim.
Ryu was trying to change for him... trying to...
"Ryu's trying to be something he's not, Sai..." Naoko eventually whispered. "He's trying to be like Kai... and well, like you in a sense... though he doesn't know it. And... and I just don't know what to do or who to choose or even if I should have a choice in the matter at all now..."
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Posted: Wed Apr 07, 2010 8:36 pm
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Do you know what you got into
Can you handle what I’m ’bout to do------------------------------------------------}:-
SAI
No escaping when I start .traeh ruoy nwo I ni m'I ecnO
Sai remained silent as Naoko let it all out. Yes, this is exactly what his little brother needed right now...stability. Although Sai wasn't always the most stable of creatures but while his thoughts remained focused on his brother's pain, for now he'd attempt to be that rock.
Once Naoko was done, he smoothed his brother's hair; something he was always fond of...that softness; just like silk. Sai took in everything and processed it with the mind of an insider and outsider. It was striking to him how easily his brother was pulled by one man or the next. Had he taught him to be like this? No...that wasn't the case. He could feel his brother's desperation to fill the hollow space within. All of these things seemed so serious. And maybe a few of them were but he had only met both men....Yesterday?
He turned his brother around carefully in his arms and rubbed his forehead against his brother's closing his eyes for a moment as he held him in place. When he opened them he stared into the eyes of his sibling and said softly, "All this in one day, Naoko...my dearest brother? You're in the middle of a storm in such a short time but I'll not let you drown in it."
His brother's eyes were so beautiful to him but....so on the verge of tears. Usually, those tears, Sai would prefer to claim in a much different way. He disliked it when these problems intruded upon the perfectly crafted world he wished to hold in hand. "Naoko, you've only known Ryu and...Kai for ONE...day. You don't need to choose now. You don't even need to make a commitment. Listen to yourself. You're acting like you've known these men for months."
He paused for a moment so the words could sink into his brother's head. He knew that Naoko could become in such disarray without someone to direct him. Sai had been that person when they were growing up. But somewhere down the road their paths diverged. It wasn't what Sai wanted but Naoko...well..he wouldn't think about that right now.
"How do you know that Ryu is becoming someone he is not? You don't. How do you know he is right for you? That won't happen until you date him for some time. Normal relationships start small like a seed. You nurture it and help it grow - learning and loving together." Ok...so he had read all this in a women's fashion magazine but it sounded about right. At least, it probably was the words Naoko needed to hear.
"But I think, from listening to you, you're not looking for a relationship at the moment. You want something else. Something that only a dominate man can give you..." he said the words slowly and while he didn't move much, his arms pulled Naoko in to press him firmly to his chest. "You want a powerful heartbeat against your body... and the feeling of tension released." His lips kissed Naoko's forehead again and he whispered, "But...with any other person in such a short time its not love. You have to go slow if you want something more." Yes, it was true, he knew Naoko better than anyone...loved him more than these men could.
-:{------------------------------------------------Cause it’s about to get rough for you
I’m here For Your Entertainment |
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Posted: Wed Apr 07, 2010 10:33 pm
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Do you know what you got into
Can you handle what I’m ’bout to do------------------------------------------------}:-
SAI
No escaping when I start .traeh ruoy nwo I ni m'I ecnO
"If Ryu wants you to decide after only one day of knowing you, then you don't need him, Naoko. Relationships aren't built on quick decisions and you're trying to make several at once here. So what is there to worry about if you don't get either of them? Are they the only fish in the sea? Hardly." He really wanted to shake some sense into his brother right now but he held back because Naoko seemed scared and worse...lonely.
The feeling of Naoko against his chest was almost a high for Sai; the warmth and attachment of his brother to him certainly enticed other feelings within that threatened to shift his best intentions. That was a struggle which played in his head even if he had Naoko's best interests in mind. Some of the words frustrated Sai; because he could give everything that Naoko wanted and it surely was better than being torn as he was. He closed his eyes and then said, "I give a damn about you, Naoko."
"But, I think you've skewed your thinking about relationships. Relationships take time...and work so if you don't want that; it's ok. You don't have to choose. But also, rushing around to find someone to fill a hole in your heart or a space in your bed is not the way to make yourself feel whole. You need to love yourself first..." He had to think hard about the next page of the magazine to see if there was any more relevant bits he mentally could pull from it. Ah screw it, he thought. Winging the rest would work.
"Naoko, when you're done with taking Ryu his soup, I want you to tell him you need time to think. Then, go home alone...take a bath, and write all your anxiety down in song. Afterward, go to bed and read what you wrote in the morning when you drink your coffee. Just like you would a newspaper. It might show you a different perspective." His tone had shifted to his more possessive self...a dominate creature with particular demands that he'd impress upon Naoko to follow. This shift wanted more than just to clear Naoko's head space and it was a difficult fight not to take what he wanted leaving the rest to be sorted later. He leaned in with warm breath on Naoko's ear, "Once you've finished with your reflection, if you still feel tension, come to me....and I will release it, Ototou. You should probably go get that soup now."
With that, he gently released him and gave Naoko room to slip by if Naoko chose to go.
-:{------------------------------------------------Cause it’s about to get rough for you
I’m here For Your Entertainment |
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Posted: Thu Apr 08, 2010 11:57 am
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Lonely and scared were understatements.
Naoko hadn't been romantically involved with anyone for over a year, mainly because he had been too busy trying to resurrect the band that is Hikari ya Yami, to do anything but work.
He loved music, and had sacrificed a lot of time and personal needs, in order to catch the company's eye again and give him the chance to rebuild his band.
Not to mention his heart was cold to the idea of a lover...
The blond had been hurt badly, worse than he'd even let Sai know, but his brother did know many of the details.
It was why, one of Naoko's mottos... was to never get involved with another member of the band.
Course, that didn't mean he couldn't shop around other companies now, did it?
"Rushing around to find someone to fill a hole in your heart or a space in your bed is not the way to make yourself feel whole."
Even as NAKO had been thinking about such things... Sai seemed to just blurt out his true intentions.
'So what if I just want someone there... I'm busy... Is it so wrong to not want to feel lonely?'
"Niisan..." Naoko began, but suddenly the pianist was being given orders.
And as he listened to said orders, the young man realized that they were a rather good idea.
Sighing, the blond closed his eyes. "I promised to take care of him... to stay with Ryu until he's better, since it was mostly my fault anyway..." after a moment, he looked up at Sai, blushing slightly because of that last comment his brother had made. "I... I don't need THAT right now... are you trying to make me even more confused?" Naoko teased with a very tiny smile.
The pianist wasn't exactly choosing to go, but he wasn't returning to Sai's embrace either.
In truth, he had a little more to say before picking up the soup from the bar.
"I... feel guilty when I'm around Ryu... because of what happened with Kai. But I can't be with Kai because then I feel guilty for hurting Ishi's feelings, and I HAVE to be around Ishi since he's my drummer." he shook his head. "As much as I want to do what you suggested, because it sounds like the best solution right now... I can't break a promise."
In other words, he knew he was going to be an even bigger mess of frayed nerves after taking care of Ryu because of the guilt... but he was too much a man to just drop the soup off and say, 'Later' after promising to stay with him.
Hell, especially after promising to sleep in the same bed!
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Posted: Thu Apr 08, 2010 1:02 pm
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Ryuukaze
“I don't want to achieve immortality through my work. I want to achieve it through not dying.”
Ryu sat in the bed, unable to do much else. Naoko hadn't tossed him the remote, so he couldn't watch TV. The only fortune the violinist seemed to be having was the fact that there was a notebook and pen on his bedside table.
The state of mind Ryu had fallen in in such a short time, it was...well, rather crazy. Ryuukaze even found himself wondering just what in the hell he was doing at the moment. Living life in a whirlwind...well, it had always been his way, but not quite like this. Staring out the window, red eyes ablaze, Ryu wondered just what had happened to him.
Who was he kidding...Naoko had happened to him, and nothing in his entire life had ever stirred up so much inside the man before. It wasn't a question of how he felt, but a question of how to deal with his feelings.
When in doubt, write it out.
Taking up the notebook, Ryu began pouring out lyrics, the way he always had when....when he was a vocalist.
I saw a precious dream.
In those days, to become close
we all shared the overflowing loneliness.
Too late, I realized
what was important to me.
The passing memories were always too brilliant.
If you're so hurt that you want to cry,
in those times I'll sing for you until your tears dry.
If it's a dream you've chased
don't be afraid of getting hurt.
On nights when you're shaking I'll hold you,
so stop making that sad face and
please show me your smile,
that smile that is more lovely to me than anyone else's.
I remember even now
that there is no forever here.
With sad eyes I continued to stare after those who disappeared.
"There's no one who'll ride in a car without breaks"
I whispered
You looked down and tried to act strong, and I just pulled you close and held you tight.
If it's a dream you want to make come true,
don't just look down and cry.
On nights when you can't sleep, I'll be by your side
until you can dream.
Don't be so embarrassed,
please show me your smile,
that smile that is more lovely to me than anyone else's.
It's already too late to return to
those days when we used to tell each other our dreams, but
If it's a dream you've chased
don't be afraid of getting hurt.
On nights when you're shaking I'll hold you,
so stop making that sad face and
please show me your smile,
that smile that is more lovely to me than anyone else's.
If it's a dream you want to make come true,
don't just look down and cry.
On nights when you can't sleep, I'll be by your side
until you can dream.
Don't be so embarrassed,
please show me your smile,
that smile that is more lovely to me than anyone else's.
That smile....
Once the lyrics had been penned, Ryu merely stared at the page. He would never get to sing these lyrics, but the song...it was for Naoko nonetheless, written with only thoughts of the blond in mind.
Out of everything Ryu wanted, out of everything that Ryu had, the only thing that was really, truly going to satisfy him was indeed just what the song was about...his lover's happiness.
"Selfish, selfish baka..." he whispered to the empty room. Sometimes his own thickness amazed him. There was a reason NAKO had gone into that alleyway with Kai, and it was neither Kai or Ryu's fault. Naoko was, after all, a human being...and it was really only natural.
With a sigh and a smile, Ryu penned out a full set of sheet music for both piano and violin part to the song as he waited for Naoko's return.
“For Love is Immortality.” |
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