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 Posted: Fri Jul 17, 2009 4:10 am
Granted and in the resulting show down you kick the seven shades of sh!7 out of him!! However the rest of the world scowls upon you for beating up such an old man and you are barred from all marshal art tournaments as no one wants to bow to you!!
I wish I was the bast sales man in the whole of England
(Not just the south)
*Tiny gloat*
xp
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Posted: Mon Jul 20, 2009 2:19 pm
Granted…you are the slickest salesman alive and you can sell anything to anyone. You are in high demand and start making tons of money. This is all well and good until all your friends, family and anyone you come into contact with feels like you are always trying to sell them something. Nobody can just enjoy your company anymore, you are always pushing to sell them this or that. Finally, your significant other leaves your a$$ because she doesn't think you have any integrity left and are not the man she met and fell in love with. Your family disowns you because you can't stop with the "sales pitches" even on Christmas! You lose your money trying your best to buy friends and when the money is gone so are your "so called" friends. You end up dying a broke lonely man.
I wish I could breath underwater as well as on land.
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Posted: Tue Jul 21, 2009 12:55 pm
Granted!
You run towards the cliff, full speed. As you jump, your mind is flooded with new opportunities this granted wish as given you. As you splash, you exhale all the air out of your system and take in all the water. Feels just like air. Excited you dive deep into the murky waters below to experience all the sealife with your very own eyes. Sadly, you were too exciting with your new fould ability to be aware of your surroundings. Nor did you notice the giant squid that has been watching you since your big debut into the water. As the water around you turn black, the last thing you see are...tentacles.
Wish it was I was at home playing xbox xd
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Posted: Wed Jul 22, 2009 5:32 pm
Granted…POOF! Right in the middle of the afternoon, you are instantly home seated in your favorite chair ready to commence playing your Xbox. HOW LUCKY ARE YOU! You proceed to play all that afternoon and into the night, in fact ALL night. HOW GREAT IS THAT! You then keep playing and lose all track of time and then become aware that the sun is setting. You've played the day away without even knowing it. Oh well, so much for work. Next time you look toward the window you realize the sun is rising. WHOA morning already? Just one more level! Next thing you know it's been days since you have done anything, no sleep, no meals and you have soiled yourself sitting there playing Xbox. A week passes and suddenly the Xbox starts smoking. It must be overheating due to the constant use for 7 days straight. Suddenly it catches fire and you have become so fixated on playing your Xbox that you just sit there as your house burns with you just sitting there inside unable to remove the controls from your hands. Mwaahahahaha.
I wish I had my own personal chef…a GOOD personal chef that cooked anything that I wanted whenever I wanted. (Now try and corrupt THAT! rofl )
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Posted: Thu Jul 23, 2009 3:33 pm
The most excellent chef in the universe [Pierre] sweeps you away to his private diner, where he waits on you hand and foot. Not only can this man cook, he is attentive to your every need. his food, however, is so unspeakably delicious that you can think of nothing else but eating as he introduces new and exquisite dishes to your table. You savor every bit and keep eating no matter how full you are. How could you possibly stop when the food is so divine? He rubs your shoulders as you eat and you find you can continue until your poor tumtum splodes, spilling acid and deliciousness into your abdomen. You are rushed to the hospital, eating only hor d'oevres and your stomach pumped-- too late. Your dying words are: Pierre! Pierre! It won't be heaven without you! Alas, Pierre declines to join you in the afterlife and you dwell in everlasting cravings for eternity.
I wish I had a personal trainer.
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Posted: Thu Jul 23, 2009 4:29 pm
Granted. In a mater of months you feel stronger and healthier than ever before! So motivated are you by your trainer that you soon become a exercise junkie! 2 years later and no one but those that already know you can tell if your a girl or a boy!
It turns out there is a very good reason for this! Maxwel, your trainer has been guaranteeing results by mixing a new experimental anabolic steroid in to your energy shakes!!
Soon you notice hair where once there wasn't hair! But worse is to come when you find hair where once there was nowhere to grow hair on!!
twisted
I wish I had wings like an angel
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Posted: Thu Jul 23, 2009 5:12 pm
Granted. In granting this wish; however, you first had to die, a slow torturous death, so painful that all pleasant memories were erased from you mind. In fact, you have no memory of life at all. You now have the wings of an Angel of Mercy, taking the life from others when it's too painful for them to bear.
Wishes I wasn't sick today.
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Posted: Thu Jul 23, 2009 5:14 pm
*touches you with the angel wing magic wand*
You sprout a lovely angel wing from your nose, and then your L buttock, and then your L pinkie, and then both armpits, and then your upper lip, and then your spleen, and then 17 grow from your belly button, follwed by more and yet more. Oh yes, you have angel wings.
EDIT: ah, bummer. Too slow. Guess I should grant your wish as well, wretched.
*touches wretches with the "not-sick-today" magic wand* and you are well. Unfortunately, this is the last day you will be not-sick. Do enjoy it to the fullest.
I wish to live happily ever after.
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Posted: Thu Jul 23, 2009 5:25 pm
Granted, within minutes everything you have ever dreamed about comes true and you live happily ever after, or at least for the next 10 minutes. Then Stumblefoot's wings grow so big that they wrap around you and everyone else here and we all get smothered to death. Guess I won't be sick again after all. wink
Wishes to never be sick again for real.
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Posted: Thu Jul 23, 2009 5:31 pm
Well, that's an easy wish to grant.
*granted*
1. you are never sick AGAIN, because you never recover.
-or-
2. you are never sick again FOR REAL because you are pretend sick with all kinds of pretend ailments and sooner rather than later get locked up with the other crazies. <3
I wish wretched soul would post-stalk me forever. This is fun.
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Posted: Fri Jul 24, 2009 6:48 pm
Granted - Wretched Soul aka Jack loses his job and moves in with you. From that point on, he follows you around with his laptop, reading over your shoulder and posting a response to everything you type. Hope you have a lot of food cuz that man can eat. eek
Wishes I had more time to play
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Posted: Sat Jul 25, 2009 9:32 am
Granted…You just give up everything and just play. Your kids don't get taken care of, don't go to school, go hungry, run out of clean clothes and are basically free to run amuck. Your chores don't get done and your house turns into a pig sty eventually closed down by the health department. Your yard doesn't get taken care of and becomes an infested weed ridden rodent breeding eyesore where your neighbors decide to throw all of their junk since your yard looks like hell anyways. And last but not least, the well kept, together, responsible woman we all know and love becomes a filthy, smelly, unkept airhead who only cares about playing all day.
I wish I could move things with my mind.
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Posted: Sat Jul 25, 2009 12:00 pm
You can't? Well, let's fix that. *enchants your mind with stuff-moving powers*
You want to open the door? Your mind slips out of your ear and gallantly opens the door for you. You want your mind to drive the car? Again, your mind slips out of your head and obeys your whim. After a bit, your mind decides it is better off without the baggage that is known as you and runs off to live in Vegas with an Elvis impersonator where it wiggles Elvis' pelvis for funsies.
I wish I had a halo.
Oh! And I'll thank Gilda not to corrupt any more of my wishes. She's brutal. wink
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Posted: Sat Jul 25, 2009 3:40 pm
Granted…You start to grow a halo and at first it's a tiny glowing spec over your head just like a cute little nightlight. Next week it's bigger, about the size of a pancake and man it sure is getting bright (even at night). Next week it's bigger and lights pierces out the windows of your house like a search light keeping your neighbors awake and annoyed. Next week EVEN BIGGER, so big that you are forced to hold it around you like a hula-hoop and MAN IS IT BRIGHT. In fact, it keeps on getting brighter until you and anyone that comes in contact with you are blinded by it's intensity.
I wish I could predict the future.
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Posted: Sat Jul 25, 2009 8:11 pm
Granted ~ but you can only see the future 60 seconds before it happens... which proves to be really annoying to everyone when you answer questions before they're asked and tell the waitress what your friend will have before she can. Eventually, people believe you're a mind reader and no one will step within 10 feet of you.
Wishes it was Saturday morning again so I could enjoy this beautiful day all over. cool
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