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*whispering* h-help... the vault boy.. he says he'll kill me if I don't listen to his demands... *raises puppet up* n-no! I wasn't saying anything! n-not at all!

O.O what's that vault boy? you say I need to protect you? you should be fine, you've killed before. ( XD )

So... it's over.

She broke up with me.

I.... want to kill myself.

She said she didnt love me.

Apparently, the two-faced b***h didn't love me since August 31st.

10 days she'd been lying to me every time she said she loved me.

Apparently, she's in love with some guy SHE JUST MET! He's sweeter, more romantic, etc.

And most importantly, he's there. I'm not as sweet and romantic because I'm not. There's a limit to how sweet and etc I can be over the phone and internet.

And the evil b***h says there's nothing I can do to fix it.

We talked about having a family. About a home, about being married.

But it was just a lie.

I was played for the sucker, and BOY did I fall hard.

I still love her.

Unlike her, I wasn't lying when I said I would love her forever.

But she used me.

I was just a toy to her until something better came along.

When we were maybe 3 months into our relationship, she went out with her ex-bf, claiming to still love me. They kissed, they dated, and she even gave him a handjob in a movie theater. It was a month and a half of PURE HELL, and she said she loved me the whole time. I still love her, but how much of what she said was truth and how much was bullshit?

Her ex-bf ONLY left the picture when he moved away.he didn't break up with him. She hurt me more than she will ever know.

But I forgave that. Like an idiot, I forgave her.

When (a few months later) she had some drama with ANOTHER ex-bf, I let it go. I even encouraged them to see each other so they could be friends.

Now, for her birthday, I got her a REALLY nice Faberge egg music box that played Music of the Night and came with a nice cross necklace. Price? Over $175. That was my entire first paycheck.

But that means nothing to her.

Apparently since August 31, she just....

stopped loving me. For 10 days, she pretended to love me. Pretended to care.

But she lied.

I STILL have texts where she says how much she loved me, how she PROMISED OVER HER GRAVE, HER LIFE, OVER SATAN AND GOD THEMSELVES, that she would always love me, never decieve me. That all she wanted was to be by my side, under a roof with me, as my wife.

She lied.

She ripped my heart out and tore it to a million pieces.

I was SOOOO devoted to her. My every thought and action was about how to make her happier.

And her excuse? Things change.


So... I will try to remain friends with her....

but....
Thought I HOPE and PRAY every day that we can be together, I wil STILL hope and pray.

Pray she gets more mature and sees what she lost in losing me.

Hope she gets hurt, damaged, and she sees how bad she ******** up in dumping me.

And yet... I still have faith that we can be together. Because I love her. I will ALWAYS love her. Even if that doesn't mean s**t to her.



I think this is one of the last messages I will post in this guild.


Goodbye.

Not just yet.

The pills didn't do anything.

Oh, ******** the ******** hell is this s**t!?

You never EVER tell ANYONE you love them if you don't mean it.
And what just happened to joker is what my sister is doing. In love with someone she JUST MET. What the ********? You don't KNOW someone you just met!! He could be anyone or want anything. He could get in your pants if he wanted to! Perhaps he already has!

If you can't handle putting in the ******** EFFORT to be in a relationship, DON'T BE IN ONE AT ALL!!

Obviously Joker knew what he was doing, because he was there for her when she thought no one else was. He wanted to console and support her even though he couldn't be there in person.

But that wasn't enough?

At least Joker wanted to make her happy, he did everything he could even though he couldn't be there in person.
Even though it's long-distance he's still a living, breathing, emotional human being like the assholes you meet in person.

What's the ******** difference? The only difference is that you can't see or touch that person. But you can hear the emotions in their voice you can hear them breathe!!

WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU???
HOW CAN YOU HURT SOMEONE'S FEELINGS LIKE THAT!!

Joker, I admire your faith, but don't waste your energy on someone who doesn't give a s**t. I've learned that the hard way. It's painful. It's very painful. I went though blood sweat and tears but it meant nothing, and all I got out of it was chest pain and an asthma attack that landed me in the hospital.

I pray that YOU don't end up in the hospital.


Yes, things change. But that doesn't give you an excuse to hurt someone. Thats ******** LAME. I've been in only one relationship in my entire life, and I'm STILL in it! Why? He's like Joker. He wants to be there for me in anyway he can, and I appreciate that. I can't see him or talk to him on the phone, but I don't let that stop me. I'm not going to go to someone else and go "Hey, what's up? My bf and I can't see each other and I don't feel anything from him over the phone, so... can you be MY bf? There's nothing he can do about it anyway..."

How the hell does being palpable change the way people love others? Appreciate what you ******** have!! Very few are as fortunate!

I'm sorry some people can't understand that...
Only you know who truly loves and supports you. Cause no one
else is going to give a flying stack of s**t. It's a pity that people don't know what they've lost until they lose it.

At least you know what I'm going through...


The nausea, the headaches, loss of appetite, emptiness inside....

I can't breathe. I can't sleep. I can't think.

And... no matter what, no matter how I distract myself, I see her face, smiling, happy...

The worst part is... I see her happy... but she doesn't love me...

I gave almost 10 months of my life to her.

And that doesn't seem to do anything. She doesn't care.

She gave up hope..... and the thoughts going through my head are so evil I can't even form the words for them.

I know the thoughts going through your head and I couldn't put them in words either. -sigh-

Joker, after she goes through her countless boyfriends again, sometime she'll compare them to you. Only then will she see what she's done.

There is NO MALE PEER in high school that I know of that shows as much dedication as you do. And I don't think she'll find one either.

Let her think about it. If she doesn't, the loss is on her. I don't think she realizes what you've gone through... yet anyway.

If she ever comes back here and reads this she will.
But who's to say she will, and who's to say she doesn't feel that way already?

We won't know until she decides to show her face to one of us again.

I'd want someone to smash her face in for letting you OD like that. I find it hard to believe she didn't stop you...