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 Posted: Mon Mar 28, 2011 10:04 pm
Alight here we go.
Pretty much everything he said. You need to have your bloodline app made and accepted before I will accept your profile also remove both of your bloodline jutsus. Third scrap your really op garra knockoff attribute.
Once you have done all this then I will accept your profile.
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Posted: Tue Mar 29, 2011 6:08 am
Wolfe Nailo A couple of issues you might want to note before you attempt to go any further with this character, my friend. First off there is a rule against copying characters from other stories, manga, or Anime, and your character is a dead ringer of Mugen from Samurai Champloo, from the swords, equipment, and the overall feel of the character, even the image is the same as Mugen.
Also to note, I didn't see an application for the Satetsu Bloodline from you, which has my Brother-in-Law a bit concerned, as you applied your character as a Satetsu user, with abilities that don't necessarily follow in with their bloodline either.
All that being said, since that's all I can really comment on since I'm not a moderative member of the guild, I would say you should try something original, and maybe a better name too. Bob was just dumb as a Planet name, I don't think it fits as a Shinobi name that well either.
Well I'm sorry I missed the part about manga pictures or whatever that's been fixed, but it's kinda weird that you say you didn't see an application for the satetsu bloodline because it's blatantly been posted and already approved, perhaps a bit more observation before posting critiques would be a prominent path of guidance so you don't sound so ignorant... secondly Bob just so happens to be my real name and I happen to think it fits well perhaps you should pick a different name besides "Wolfe Nailo" as I can't even begin to try to decypher the deep clever meaning of it's origin.
Fallen: You approved my satetsu app and I've corrected all the things you've asked for.... he's still staying lazy though.
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Posted: Thu Mar 31, 2011 5:58 pm
 ▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬┤|ρ є r ѕ σ η α ℓ • ∂ α т α|├▬
Full Name: Tenian uni Durneal
Nickname: The Bear
Age: 17
Birthdate: 1992
Gender: male
Height: 72in
Weight: 215
Nindo: "i may be big but i'm not slow"
Personality: kinda scary looking but over all a nice person
Village: cloud
Rank: Genin
Class: Bukijutsu
▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬┤|c σ м в α т • ∂ α т α|├▬
Chakra Pool: 200
Chakra Color: green
Chakra Element: earth and lightning
Strengths:
• close combat
• faster speed than normal
Weaknesses:
• quick to strike before thinking properly
• dose not fight well verses tamers
Fears:
• small animals
• cats
Attributes:
• 2 additional ninjitsue
•Physical defense increased
Class Attribute:
• able to weild wepons with slightly advanced prowess
▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬┤|c α r є є r • ∂ α т α|├▬
Ryo: 両{Money} 0
AC: 0
Missions Complete:
D Rank :: 0
C Rank :: 0
B Rank :: 0
A Rank :: 0
S Rank :: 0
▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬┤|ω є α ρ σ η • ∂ α т α|├▬
Weapon Type: 2 claws
Weapon Range: 12 in each
Weapon Weight: 3.5 pounds
Weapon Location: flipped up side down on my arms
• {When you create your profile, you may have any one basic weapon.)
Summoning Type: Brown Bear
Summon Sage: no
Pacts: bears
▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬┤|ι η ν є η т σ r у|├▬
• 15 kuni
• 15 shurikin
▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬┤|т є c н η ι q υ є ѕ|├▬
▬▬┤|N i n j u t s u
Maruton {Start with the following six only}
• Henge no Jutsu [Transformation Technique]
• Kawarimi no Jutsu [Substitution Technique]
• Bushin no Jutsu [Clone Technique]
• Suimen Hokou no Waza [Act of Water Surface Walking]
• Kinobori no Waza [Act of Tree Climbing]
• Kai [Release]
{Your first element's name} {Katon, Suiton, Raiton, Doton, Fuuton}
•doton
{Your second element's name} {Katon, Suiton, Raiton, Doton, Fuuton} {If only one element, remove section}
•raiton
▬▬┤|T a i j u t s u
all punches turn in to claw slashes
▬▬┤|B u k i j u t s u
claw master
• slashes and speed increase per level
▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬┤|н ι ѕ т σ r у|├▬
tenin is an young man with slight anger problems. he was always the biggest kid in his age group. he got in to many fights as a kid but he is however leavl headed at most points his main thing is strike first ask later .
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Posted: Thu Mar 31, 2011 6:18 pm
I see absolutely nothing wrong with your profile. APPROVED
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Posted: Thu Mar 31, 2011 6:56 pm
~Rin Akasuna~ ▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬┤|ρ є r ѕ σ η α ℓ • ∂ α т α|├▬
Full Name: Rin Akasuna
Nickname: The Icy Marionette
Age: 17
Birthdate: June, 18
Gender: Female
Height: 5 foot 8 inches
Weight: 137 pounds
Nindo: "Wasn't me..."
Personality: Normally, Rin is a very outgoing and fun loving person. She loves being around people, flirting and having a grand 'ol time. Being very smart and pretty mischievous, Rin likes to play pranks on people occasionally, whether it be friends, innocent bystanders or even a Kage. But, when Rin slips into fight/serious mood, she can turn evil and sly. She has a dark side to her, that usually frightens people. Her haunted memories drive her to act insane sometimes, which would be the reason why she randomly starts laughing. She's also kind of a pervert that allows her to be playful and to some, annoying.
Village: Hidden Mist
Rank: Genin
Class: Puppet Class
▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬┤|c σ м в α т • ∂ α т α|├▬
Headband Location | Color: Around waist l Blue
Chakra Pool: 200
Chakra Color: Light Blue
Chakra Element: Maruton
Strengths:
• Long-rage distance
• Seduction
Weaknesses:
• Close-range attacks
• having hands disabled
Fears:
• Cigarettes
• People with missing limbs
Attributes:
• Moderate reaction time
• Learn Ninjutsu [1] Post Faster
Class Attribute:
• Bunraku: Able to use one hand for D and lower ranked techniques
▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬┤|c α r є є r • ∂ α т α|├▬
Ryo: 0
AC: 0
Missions Complete:
D Rank :: 0
C Rank :: 0
B Rank :: 0
A Rank :: 0
S Rank :: 0
▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬┤|ω є α ρ σ η • ∂ α т α|├▬
Weapon Type: Puppet l Katana
Weapon Range: 100m radius l Arms distance
Weapon Weight: 87 pounds l 15 pounds
Weapon Location: Usually carried around on back or being followed by her l In sheath on back.
• Paper Bombs
▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬┤|ι η ν є η т σ r у|├▬
• 10 kunai
5 Shuriken
10 Smoke Bombs
1 bottle of chakra pills
▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬┤|т є c н η ι q υ є ѕ|├▬
▬▬┤|N i n j u t s u
Maruton
• Henge no Jutsu [Transformation Technique]
• Kawarimi no Jutsu [Substitution Technique]
• Bushin no Jutsu [Clone Technique]
• Suimen Hokou no Waza [Act of Water Surface Walking]
• Kinobori no Waza [Act of Tree Climbing]
• Kai [Release]
• Human Puppet
•Puppet Technique
{Your first element's name}
•Kageton
▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬┤|н ι ѕ т σ r у|├▬
The human body was always fascinating to Rin. She grew up with a doctor as a father and a nurse for a mother. It was only natural for her to want to be a medic nin. Sadly, Rin was left alone most of her life, with her parents being so busy as to saving lives and what not. Rin grew bored and for the record, a little insane. She wandered around her house, reading books and studying up on the human body. Her grandfather had been part of the puppet class and Rin had remembered him telling her stories of what they could do. At the tender age of 11, Rin found a talent for using chakra strings to control things. This instantly put her into the Puppet Class and she forgot all about her parents beloved medical dream for her. Rin was exceptionally good at controlling puppets, from her years of studying the human body and how things worked. She also spent time developing her chakra and being able to form it into strings to control her puppets. At 15, Rin had decided to create her first puppet...or puppets. She slaughtered her own parents and turned them into puppets, forcing them to final be around her and spend time with her. (kind of like Sasori's problem) She was easily able to use Human Puppetry at such a young age, without having to train much on it. She'd practiced with animals and even stuffed dolls at the foot of her bed, finally realizing it was time for a real human.
Nowadays, Rin only has one puppet, that she calls Akita. It looks like a little girl, blind as a bat, with grey skin, clothes and hair. But, contradicting red shoes. She still uses the puppets of her parents, but rarely. Rin's psychotic mind hides behind her act of happiness and social butterfly. Most people never learn her past, and don't experience her mental insanity unless she goes into full on fight mode.
Her puppet, Akita
 
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Posted: Thu Mar 31, 2011 7:23 pm
@Shade You really need to go back to the basics and reconstruct your profile. If you need some help, just message me. *Edit* @ Assassin of the Sound. Alright lets see here. First off thank you for following the correct format. Second your attributes that you have currently are all class attributes so you need to pick another two that are like " Fast Reaction time," or "Learn ninjutsu one post faster" Something along those lines. Something that makes your shinobi different from all others. And finally before you can start rp-ing I need you to fill out the custom puppet form here.
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Posted: Thu Mar 31, 2011 7:36 pm
Edited. and my puppet is posted in the forum..thing.
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Posted: Thu Mar 31, 2011 7:46 pm
I didn't literally mean those two but what ever works for ya ^.^ APPROVED
Also THANK YOU. we NEED more mist shinobi
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Posted: Thu Mar 31, 2011 7:48 pm
Haha I know, but it's late and my head is spinning @_@
thanks, and you're welcome I suppose :]
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Posted: Thu Mar 31, 2011 8:17 pm
 ▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬┤|ρ є r ѕ σ η α ℓ • ∂ α т α|├▬
Full Name: Judai Satetsu
Nickname: The Black Sand
Age: 16
Birthdate: 4/15
Gender: Male
Height: 5'9"
Weight: 120lb
Nindo: "A joke is worth it even in the heat of battle "
Personality: He is a funny guy who loves to make friends and fight. But he has a dark side when he it taking too much damage.
Village:Leaf
Rank: Genin
Class: Bloodline
▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬┤|c σ м в α т • ∂ α т α|├▬
Bloodline: Satetsu
Chakra Pool: 225
Chakra Color: Black
Chakra Element: Raiton, Doton
Strengths:
• Has High leveled skills at using Magnetic Manipulation.
• He is very nimble almost like a cat.
Weaknesses:
• Close taijutsu can be a pain.
• Very far ranged jutsu are hard for him to defend agiast.
Fears:
• Losing his Black sand.
• His fate after death.
Attributes:
• Black sand :all Iron sand is black and a little stronger then normal iron sand.
•Sharp sand : judai's sand isn't blunt they are sharp on all sides if someone is to touch the sand they will get small scratches and cuts but even more if hit with a jutsu.
Class Attribute:
• Weak Blood: Bloodline technique effects slightly increased
▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬┤|c α r є є r • ∂ α т α|├▬
Ryo: 両0
AC:0
Missions Complete:
D Rank :: 0
C Rank :: 0
B Rank :: 0
A Rank :: 0
S Rank :: 0
▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬┤|ω є α ρ σ η • ∂ α т α|├▬
Weapon Name: Black bane
Weapon Type:Wand
Weapon Range: 2 ft +
Weapon Weight: 10 lb
Weapon Location: wasit
Weapon info: tthis weapon is made of iorn sand it be change to other weapons by controlling the iron sand.
Summoning Type: none
Summon Sage: no
Pacts: none
▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬┤|ι η ν є η т σ r у|├▬
• 20 Smoke pellets.
• 10 Heavey iron sand spike balls.
Note : His pony tail and arm and leg bands are made of Black iron sand.
▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬┤|т є c н η ι q υ є ѕ|├▬
▬▬┤|N i n j u t s u
Maruton {Start with the following six only}
• Henge no Jutsu [Transformation Technique]
• Kawarimi no Jutsu [Substitution Technique]
• Bushin no Jutsu [Clone Technique]
• Suimen Hokou no Waza [Act of Water Surface Walking]
• Kinobori no Waza [Act of Tree Climbing]
• Kai [Release]
Doton
•
Raiton
•
Bloodline
•
▬▬┤|G e n j u t s u
•
▬▬┤|T a i j u t s u
Kumogakure no Taijutsu
• Stage 0
▬▬┤|B u k i j u t s u
Juurai Toorima
• Stage 0
▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬┤|н ι ѕ т σ r у|├▬
Judai Satetsu was once a member of the sand village but after his family killed his bloodline awaked it took the form of his intisnt to killed those who hurt his family and it killed all the ninja. He found they were form the sand so with this he left to find a new village although he seem alittle off he is a good person. He wants to find a good life and he lovers to fight so he starts his new life in the Leaf village.
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Posted: Fri Apr 01, 2011 2:00 pm
Tonight is the night we become great!The Stars will show us the way!
Like I've mentioned, we've got a bit of a thing about character clones here, Shade. I'm afraid being Taokaka isn't gonna fly here.
Second, you don't have an inventory. You're not going to run any projectiles?
Your attributes... Well, they are extremely vague. It it a moderate speed boost? How much better do you get with your balance?
All in all, I have to be the guy to say you're denied.
Tonight is the night we become Great! The Stars are what gave us away!
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Posted: Fri Apr 01, 2011 7:36 pm
Azeiel The Fallen I see absolutely nothing wrong with your profile. APPROVEDthank you
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Posted: Fri Apr 01, 2011 7:50 pm
 ▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬┤|ρ є r ѕ σ η α ℓ • ∂ α т α|├▬
Chuunin
Jounin
Full Name: Flou Akira Uwa
Nickname: The Sloth
Age: 16
Birthdate: December 15th
Gender: Male
Height: 5'10"
Weight: 156lb
Nindo: "A man who wants to lead an Orchestra, must turn his back on the Crowd..."
Personality: Flou is very low going person, always in a slow mood. He will never seem to show much emotion as he trains or fights, although he has a slow personality, he is quite fast actually. Flou is quite loyal to his friends and family, but his village will always come first...
Village: Mist Village
Rank: Genin
Class: Medical Class
▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬┤|c σ м в α т • ∂ α т α|├▬
Chakra Pool: 250
Chakra Color: Black
Chakra Element: Suuton and Raiton
Strengths:
• Physical Combat (Bukijutsu, Taijutsu)
• Eiseijutsu
Weaknesses:
• Weak Against Earth Element
• Fighting Puppet Class
Fears:
• He Fears Dieing for something other then the Mist VIllage
• He Fears his Country Betraying Him...
Attributes:
• Able to Learn Ninjutsu [1] Posts Faster
• Able to Learn One Bukijutsu Style
Class Attribute:
• Able To Learn [Eiseijutsu]
• Learn Eiseijutsu [1] Post Faster
• C. Attribute - Faulty Precision: Accuracy with techniques slightly increased
▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬┤|c α r є є r • ∂ α т α|├▬
Ryo: 両0
AC: 0
Missions Complete:
D Rank :: 0
C Rank :: 0
B Rank :: 0
A Rank :: 0
S Rank :: 0
▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬┤|ω є α ρ σ η • ∂ α т α|├▬
Weapon Type: Rain - Traditional Japanese Katana
Weapon Range: 4ft 4 inches
Weapon Weight: 10lbs
Weapon Location: On his Waist Belt
•
Summoning Type:
Summon Sage:
Pacts:
▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬┤|ι η ν є η т σ r у|├▬
• Wired Kunai x10
• 100ft of Ninja Wire x5
• Senbon x10
• First-Aid
• Smoke Bombs x5
▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬┤|т є c н η ι q υ є ѕ|├▬
▬▬┤|N i n j u t s u
Maruton
• Henge no Jutsu [Transformation Technique]
• Kawarimi no Jutsu [Substitution Technique]
• Bushin no Jutsu [Clone Technique]
• Suimen Hokou no Waza [Act of Water Surface Walking]
• Kinobori no Waza [Act of Tree Climbing]
• Kai [Release]
Suuton
•
•
•
•
Raiton
•
•
•
•
Eiseijutsu
•
•
•
•
•
•
▬▬┤|G e n j u t s u
•
▬▬┤|T a i j u t s u
Kirigakure Style - The Elegant Flow Of Water
•
▬▬┤|B u k i j u t s u
Descending Greatness - Shigure Soen
•
▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬┤|н ι ѕ т σ r у|├▬
Flou was born has little memory of his past, all he knows is that he wasn't loved by many, but was treasured by his country. The Mist Country took him in, into a family of nobles, they wanted to make Flou into a actor or some other profession, but Flou denied it all, he felt he had to repay the country that saved him and gave him a place he felt like home... He became a Shinobi of the Mist...
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