covens

[MST3Kakalina]

can this thread die already? i think at this point it's become a sort of shouting match, pretty much. nothing really productive seems to be going on here except to tell dark that she should be grateful for what she has, and dark subsequently defending herself.

while i agree with what's been said so far, learning to be grateful is something you have to come to terms with on your own--at least it was like that for me. so lecturing her really won't do any good. we have a thread for dealing with parents, anyway, so at this point this thread has become kind of redundant.  

[maenad nuri]

darkviewoflife13

hell i'm not saying i have it bad, no i have clynicall depression, there's not a damn thing i can do about it, and no i dont want to go out on my own, i dont want all the freedom and responsability, i know i'm nowhere near ready for that but i'm not a damn 2 year old, i am more mature than most of my older friends and i'm just tired of being treated like s**t.

oh-kay. Stepping in. I don't think you are quite getting their point (which they are doing quite strongly), but neither are you willing to actually do anything about it. You are going behind their backs, you don't see fit to try to educate your parents.

Step back and think. Breathe. Now think, if you have clinical depression (which you can do a damn thing about, I'm living proof) isn't it possible that the way you are feeling about this situation is a result of how your brain is processing information?

I'm a little more lenient when it comes to researching on your own. After all, thats exactly what I did. But then, I never saw the need to tell my parents.  

[TeaDidikai]

darkviewoflife13

hell i'm not saying i have it bad, no i have clynicall depression, there's not a damn thing i can do about it,

So untrue. There are lots of things you can do to treat and/or cure clinical depression.

Quote:

i know i'm nowhere near ready for that but i'm not a damn 2 year old, i am more mature than most of my older friends and i'm just tired of being treated like s**t.

You're confusing treating you with the patience and respect you have earned with treating you like s**t.

As for maturity? Well, take a lesson from the British Iron Maiden- Being powerful is like being a lady, if you have to tell people you are- you aren't.  

[darkviewoflife13]

fine, can someone just tell me how to delete this thread and i'll leave the guild so i wont bother you again  

[maenad nuri]

darkviewoflife13

fine, can someone just tell me how to delete this thread and i'll leave the guild so i wont bother you again

I actually don't want you to leave the guild, I can't force you to stay, but you don't want to hear the other side or criticism.

This is a bad thing, you know.  

[TeaDidikai]

darkviewoflife13

fine, can someone just tell me how to delete this thread and i'll leave the guild so i wont bother you again

You're not a bother at all.

This is a Rehab guild. It is made for people like you, so that we can save you some of the trouble that others experienced before you. But for that to happen, you have to be willing to learn.

There are other guilds here that nod in agreement and go out of their way to be nice. Well, nice isn't all it's cracked up to be, especially if it encourages poor behavior.

I don't hate you, I don't even dislike you- and I'd dare suggest that most of the people here to contest your points feel the same way.

We're here to help. Really help, and some times that means not telling you what you want to hear, but what you need to hear.  

[darkviewoflife13]

i am not a fluffyt and never have been, you just never read where i said i told my parents and am giving them materials to read, i have never been a fluffy ever, whenever someone wiccan told me something i didn't say thats a load of bs unless it was something like oh i can raise the dead, i am getting annoyed because everyone here thinks i am a little kid rebelling against her parents but i'm not, i'm doing everything i can just to get them to accept me, i listen to my parents most of the time, and i honestly can't help being emo or depressed because medicine dosn't work, i'm seeing a shrink but nothing is helping, there is nothing i can do about that, forgive me but i'm a bit more depressed than usuall becuase my ex who i still like is going out with my best friend which i'm still trying to accept, i honestly think i should leave only because i can't deal with all of this right now, i can't stand a whole bunch of people yelling at me while no one comes to my defence, i'm trying to be as mature as i can but as you all have pointed out i'm a kid and i think no matter what i say you will always veiw me as one of those "in" "popular" dumb kids who just go along with whats "cool" and don't listen to anyone, i just want to say i have never been a fluffy  

[TeaDidikai]

Leaving the guild and giving it a break are two different things.

What do you want from us? I mean- really want? For us to tell you that you're right? Well, sorry, but some of us have been there and done that and some of us skipped it because we had others to show us the way.

In fifteen years, which would you rather be?  

[darkviewoflife13]

no, i want you to tell me when i'm wrong, and answer my questions but not to lecture me on personal ethics or tell me i'm being immature or overreacting or being to mean to my parents  

[TeaDidikai]

darkviewoflife13

no, i want you to tell me when i'm wrong, and answer my questions but not to lecture me on personal ethics or tell me i'm being immature or overreacting or being to mean to my parents

But when we tell you that you are being immature, it is because your behavior is objectionable to us. Being a Liar is unethical to many.

These actions are wrong, in so much that they put us, the adults of this guild who are providing information for you in a dangerous position.

The ToS of Gaia protects the hosters from your parents suing them. I do not know of any statutes to protect the rest of us. Have I not made a fair effort to answer your questions?

This is an impasse. Being told your wrong on only the things you are okay with being wrong on does not a mature, responsible individual make. It's selective hearing, the same kind of selective hearing that leads to fluffieism.

To be honest, considering how much effort I have put in to helping you, I find this attitude a little more than insulting. Have the members of this guild not gone out of their way to address the issues you presented? Have we not taken time out of our lives to aid you?

What trade off do we get? Emotional posts protesting us treating you- not as a child, but as an individual who presents themselves as you do.

Save for the issues that come directly from you being a minor- your age has nothing to do with the stances I take. But, blind to the insights you asked of us because they were not what you wanted to hear, you condemn us for not blowing sunshine up your rectum and saying "Poor girl. Horrible parents. We feel so sorry for her- she suffers so deeply".

Sucks. It sucks that your parents aren't supportive. It sucks your meds aren't working for you. It sucks you have drama in your life you would rather not have. But that is the reality of life. Listen and learn if you wish. Ignore us if you want to- but know that Fluffism, and rebellion for the sake of establishing personal identity will not change with such actions.  

[MST3Kakalina]

Yes, what Tea said.

Telling you when you're wrong actually might involve telling you that you're being immature or that you're treating your parents unfairly. It's not just about "should I go widdershins or deosil for this ritual?"

I think it'd be best if you took a break from here for a few days and got yourself settled.  

[TeaDidikai]

[ Message temporarily off-line ]  

[darkviewoflife13]

i allready told you that i told my parents, i'm getting annoyed becuase you keep telling me to listen to my parents and i am, i told them, and i'm working on getting them to accept it but you guys are still treating me like i'm going behind my parents back  

[TeaDidikai]

darkviewoflife13

i allready told you that i told my parents, i'm getting annoyed becuase you keep telling me to listen to my parents and i am, i told them, and i'm working on getting them to accept it but you guys are still treating me like i'm going behind my parents back

Largely because you express no interest in following the guidelines they set down for you.

As I recall, you left it at: "I told them, they told me no, they reconsidered up to the point where I can help inform them and they didn't like the book I picked out to help explain myself because it sounds like a cult..." And that's pretty much where you left it without any consideration to a change in directions.

Also, you're projecting a hell of a lot. Trust me, if I were to treat you like a child, at this point it would involve sending you to your room until you can put on a happy face and be pleasent towards other people.

But I'm not. In fact, I, along with Nuri, are encouraging you to stay and learn as long as it does not violate your parent's wishes.  

[darkviewoflife13]

didn't i tell you? whoops redface i gave my mother more books and i am staying within her guidelines, she said no magic in the house and no burning anything unless its in the kitchen or outside (which i have respected if i have done a spell it was outside the house, which she said she wasn't exactly happy about but she would allow) thats why i was getting annoyed, my bad