New Year-New Body

[CondomAtTheCrimeScene]

DAY 19

Frustrated.
212.
Not losing.
Actually gaining.
But not giving up.

Had a chicken patty with cheese on it.  

[Stars in my Pocket]

Are you drinking lots of water and getting enough calories? Plateaus suck, but you can get over the hurdle! Try doing something you've never done as far as exercise goes, if you work different muscles or work the same ones differently, that tends to work for me! <3 You can do it! We're all here for you. <3 <3 <3  

[CondomAtTheCrimeScene]

Stars in my Pocket

Are you drinking lots of water and getting enough calories? Plateaus suck, but you can get over the hurdle! Try doing something you've never done as far as exercise goes, if you work different muscles or work the same ones differently, that tends to work for me! <3 You can do it! We're all here for you. <3 <3 <3

less water than in the beginning
but still enough

enough calories

this morning i was 210 again. =]
hopefully it sticks.

i need to run one more time this week as a part of the couch to 5k thing.
and just eat better  

[CondomAtTheCrimeScene]

Day 21

same weight.
not tracking food right now.
i am really busy with finishing up school and trying to get things done.

but i'll try to start up again.

breakfast at lunch time: bowl of life cereal with skim milk  

[pigeonsoup]

You're doing really great I think :3
Just remember that food has a weight. So y'know, if you weigh yourself if you've eaten anything or haven't gone to the bathroom, It'll count for something. Trust me haha.

But omg.
You're really really pretty!  

[CondomAtTheCrimeScene]

Okay, an update.
It's been...a while since I posted here.
But I want to get back in the habit.
I've just been trying to eat better, and failing.
Trying to exercise more, and failing.

212.

Today, I ate:
A bowl of special K chocolate delight w/ skim milk.
V8 Low sodium drink.
Chicken breast, bowl of macaroni, and a yogurt.  

[CondomAtTheCrimeScene]

i suck at journal
still 212
failing
failing

just started thyroid med
meh
maybe that'll help  

[Stars in my Pocket]

It's ok! Just don't give up!
Losing weight is HARD. Which is why so many people give up, and that's also why people admire those that do. Not *can*, because everyone CAN, but those who knuckle down and DO it.

Don't give up: you are a wonderful person, and you owe it to yourself.

If you find yourself struggling, I sometimes turn to this quote:
"Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate. Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure. We ask ourselves, Who am I to be brilliant, gorgeous, talented, fabulous? Actually, who are you not to be? We were born to make manifest the glory of God that is within us. And as we let our own light shine, we unconsciously give other people permission to do the same." - Marianne Williamson

I'm not particularly religious so don't take it like that, but I think of it as the power of us as human beings. (:  

[CondomAtTheCrimeScene]

Stars in my Pocket

It's ok! Just don't give up!
Losing weight is HARD. Which is why so many people give up, and that's also why people admire those that do. Not *can*, because everyone CAN, but those who knuckle down and DO it.

Don't give up: you are a wonderful person, and you owe it to yourself.

If you find yourself struggling, I sometimes turn to this quote:
"Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate. Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure. We ask ourselves, Who am I to be brilliant, gorgeous, talented, fabulous? Actually, who are you not to be? We were born to make manifest the glory of God that is within us. And as we let our own light shine, we unconsciously give other people permission to do the same." - Marianne Williamson

I'm not particularly religious so don't take it like that, but I think of it as the power of us as human beings. (:

it's a nice quote
and i don't want to give up

i am just not making any progress
and it's been 2 months
i need to stay on track

lately i've not been in a good mental state so it's been hard to think about anything at all really
and i wouldn't say i overeat
i just don't put enough care into what i eat when i do
and i haven't exercised in...a long time.

i'm down. ]=

I wish I could just wake up with the motivation to be happy, and healthy, and active. But I can't even manage to leave the house some days.

I'm not really sure how I am going to pull it out of myself and make it happen. And right now, it's more than weight. I can live with being fat. I actually don't mind. I just want to be happy...and that's a bigger challenge.

I wish I could say I feel like the powerful and amazing person that I usually do. I wish I could say that I can do it. I won't say I can't. How about...not today?

I am dealing with a lot. I hope the more I organize my life, the more I can take control of things like my weight.  

[CondomAtTheCrimeScene]

I'm not losing.
For all I know, I am ******** gaining.
I don't want to know.
I've been trying really hard but it's not working out for me.
I don't have the energy to focus on this.
I'm mentally ill, and have been getting sick continually for a long time now.

NOT TODAY.  

[CondomAtTheCrimeScene]

School
This is kind of just me putting this here for my own use. You can just ignore it. =]
last updated, April 12th.

Environmental Science:(85%B)
96% Complete.

Career and Tech:(85%B)
61% Complete

English:(93%A)
10% Complete

Integrated Math:(73%C)
29% Complete

World History:(97%A+)
36% Complete  

[CondomAtTheCrimeScene]

pretty sure i am 215 or even 216 now

i've gained

i don't know what to say, i can't blame it on anything
poor diet
not enough exercise
drinking pop again
even if it is diet

i got into a pretty huge fight with my mom
i've been having a really hard time mentally
struggling with suicidal urges

i attempted, but barely
my mom very violently kept a single pill from even entering my mouth
but then told me to go kill myself somewhere else
on my own time

fair enough

i have a pretty huge bruise where my arm hit the table leg

going to live with my uncle for a while come summer

got a new dog
she's making me really happy at this point
she's adorable
and she's forcing me to be more active

trying to get my mom to consider paying for a gym membership for me
just for a month
since it's still too cold to swim in the lakes

i'd like to swim more
i like swimming

i used to really love biking
but my tires are shot and i don't know how/what size to replace them with
and i can't afford it
]=

just been walking my dog
but today we got 76 degree weather
so if this keeps up, i want to be out even more


i REALLY need to get my butt in gear about school
all my classes should be 50% done by now
and they aren't  

[CondomAtTheCrimeScene]

worked on environmental science for a few hours
brought a 47% done course to be 71% done. i went down one percentile. however, my letter grade stayed the same.

worked on careers and tech. but the assignments i turned in take a while to be graded, unlike most of the ones i did in enviro. so i won't know until tomorrow how much further i got, and if my grade changed.

still having this ******** up as hell sleep schedule. i don't usually sleep until morning. after 6am. then i sleep in until afternoon. repeat.  

[CondomAtTheCrimeScene]

brought career tech up to 41, from a 37.
not a huge improvement, but hey, closer to 50.
=]  

[CondomAtTheCrimeScene]

aaaand career tech is 51. =]
85 B.
woot

okay
i have to run to walmart and get dog food and a new leash
more school later

oh, and so far today i've eaten 8 chicken nuggets with a tablespoon of ranch.
will figure calories later.