Post Jokes, ridicule joke websites and more.

[iDA-R-E-M]

That was not funny  

[Soulless Neko]

Staind_soul81793

LordVesquan

Lmao misty!!! rofl

Those are all great

I have one to, im not sure if anyone will get it at first....but here goes!!


So a baby seal walks into a club...


Thats it xd

oH I GOT IT THE SEALS ARE THE ONES WHO GET CLUBBED AND KILLED TO MAKE CLOTHES FUNNY BUT.....cruel

Funny?
I don't think so.

 

[---e-orban---]

cassypunk

i got a pm that asked me to join this so i did uhhhhhhhhh but what do i do here?lol






heres a joke: chuck norris has a nightlight in his room because thedarkness is afraid of hi.

hey heres another chuck norris joke: when moses said let my ppl go chuck norris said say please  

[Zoary]

What do you get when you turn a country record backwards?  

[Vietomnom]

Oooooo, Eshi has one! :3
What's funner than nailing ten kids to a tree?  

[Zoary]

Eshi the Demonic Artist

Oooooo, Eshi has one! :3
What's funner than nailing ten kids to a tree?

idk whats more fun?  

[pretty hate machine]

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8qPrR49qsDc

Robin Williams' stand up on golf. It's friggin' hilarious!! Just as a warning though, he curses in gratuitous amounts, so if you're sensitive, I don't suggest watching.  

[Sir Islands]

i know a site that has some jokes...
go to comedycentral.com and click on the tab that says Jokes
here's one of them that i like....


A few months ago, there was an opening with the CIA for an assassin. These highly classified positions are hard to fill, and there's a lot of testing and background checks involved before you can even be considered for the position. After sending some applicants through the background checks, training and testing, they narrowed the possible choices down to two men and a woman, but only one position was available.

The day came for the final test to see which peson would get the extremely secretive job. The CIA men administering the test took one of the men to a large metal door and handed him a gun. "We must know that you will follow our instructions whatever the circumstances," they explained. "Inside this room, you will find your wife sitting in a chair. Take this gun and kill her." The man looked horrified and said, "You can't be serious! I could never shoot my wife!" "Well," said the CIA man, "you're definitely not the right man for this job then."

So they brought the second man to the same door and handed him a gun. "We must know that you will follow instructions no matter what the circumstances," they explained to the second man. "Inside you will find your wife sitting in a chair. Take this gun and kill her." The second man looked a bit shocked, but nevertheless took the gun and went in the room. All was quiet for about 5 minutes; then the door opened. The man came out of the room with tears in his eyes. "I tried to shoot her; I just couldn't pull the trigger and shoot my wife. I guess I'm not the right man for the job."

"No," the CIA man replied, "You don't have what it takes. Take your wife and go home."

Now they only had the woman left to test. They led her to the same door to the same room and handed her the same gun. "We must be sure that you will follow instructions no matter what the circumstances; this is your final test. Inside you will find your husband sitting in a chair. Take this gun and kill him." The woman took the gun and opened the door. Before the door even closed all the way, the CIA men heard the gun start firing, one shot after another for 13 shots. Then all hell broke loose in the room. They heard screaming, rashing, and banging on the walls. This went on for several minutes; then all went quiet.

The door opened slowly, and there stood the woman. She wiped the sweat from her brow and said, "You guys didn't tell me the gun was loaded with blanks. I had to beat the son of a b***h to death with the chair!"  

[Akiterra]

pretty hate machine

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8qPrR49qsDc

Robin Williams' stand up on golf. It's friggin' hilarious!! Just as a warning though, he curses in gratuitous amounts, so if you're sensitive, I don't suggest watching.

OMG that's gotta be his best one. What makes it funnier for me is the fact that my ancestors on my dad's side are Scottish. Lawl.  

[Akiterra]

Nightmare Islands

i know a site that has some jokes...
go to comedycentral.com and click on the tab that says Jokes
here's one of them that i like....


A few months ago, there was an opening with the CIA for an assassin. These highly classified positions are hard to fill, and there's a lot of testing and background checks involved before you can even be considered for the position. After sending some applicants through the background checks, training and testing, they narrowed the possible choices down to two men and a woman, but only one position was available.

The day came for the final test to see which peson would get the extremely secretive job. The CIA men administering the test took one of the men to a large metal door and handed him a gun. "We must know that you will follow our instructions whatever the circumstances," they explained. "Inside this room, you will find your wife sitting in a chair. Take this gun and kill her." The man looked horrified and said, "You can't be serious! I could never shoot my wife!" "Well," said the CIA man, "you're definitely not the right man for this job then."

So they brought the second man to the same door and handed him a gun. "We must know that you will follow instructions no matter what the circumstances," they explained to the second man. "Inside you will find your wife sitting in a chair. Take this gun and kill her." The second man looked a bit shocked, but nevertheless took the gun and went in the room. All was quiet for about 5 minutes; then the door opened. The man came out of the room with tears in his eyes. "I tried to shoot her; I just couldn't pull the trigger and shoot my wife. I guess I'm not the right man for the job."

"No," the CIA man replied, "You don't have what it takes. Take your wife and go home."

Now they only had the woman left to test. They led her to the same door to the same room and handed her the same gun. "We must be sure that you will follow instructions no matter what the circumstances; this is your final test. Inside you will find your husband sitting in a chair. Take this gun and kill him." The woman took the gun and opened the door. Before the door even closed all the way, the CIA men heard the gun start firing, one shot after another for 13 shots. Then all hell broke loose in the room. They heard screaming, rashing, and banging on the walls. This went on for several minutes; then all went quiet.

The door opened slowly, and there stood the woman. She wiped the sweat from her brow and said, "You guys didn't tell me the gun was loaded with blanks. I had to beat the son of a b***h to death with the chair!"

Lol. Classic.

<(^.^)>
Aki  

[MagiPixx]

If this is above pg-13 (whatever that is) then let me know and remove it. I'll even change the wording.. here goes:

3 grannies sitting on a park bench are enjoying the sunshine. A flasher runs over and flashes his 'Lad' at them. 2 of the grannies had a stroke... the other couldn't reach!

xd !!

~ I love that, got it in a text message today from my friends dad...?  

[MagiPixx]

Akiterra

Nightmare Islands

i know a site that has some jokes...
go to comedycentral.com and click on the tab that says Jokes
here's one of them that i like....


A few months ago, there was an opening with the CIA for an assassin. These highly classified positions are hard to fill, and there's a lot of testing and background checks involved before you can even be considered for the position. After sending some applicants through the background checks, training and testing, they narrowed the possible choices down to two men and a woman, but only one position was available.

The day came for the final test to see which peson would get the extremely secretive job. The CIA men administering the test took one of the men to a large metal door and handed him a gun. "We must know that you will follow our instructions whatever the circumstances," they explained. "Inside this room, you will find your wife sitting in a chair. Take this gun and kill her." The man looked horrified and said, "You can't be serious! I could never shoot my wife!" "Well," said the CIA man, "you're definitely not the right man for this job then."

So they brought the second man to the same door and handed him a gun. "We must know that you will follow instructions no matter what the circumstances," they explained to the second man. "Inside you will find your wife sitting in a chair. Take this gun and kill her." The second man looked a bit shocked, but nevertheless took the gun and went in the room. All was quiet for about 5 minutes; then the door opened. The man came out of the room with tears in his eyes. "I tried to shoot her; I just couldn't pull the trigger and shoot my wife. I guess I'm not the right man for the job."

"No," the CIA man replied, "You don't have what it takes. Take your wife and go home."

Now they only had the woman left to test. They led her to the same door to the same room and handed her the same gun. "We must be sure that you will follow instructions no matter what the circumstances; this is your final test. Inside you will find your husband sitting in a chair. Take this gun and kill him." The woman took the gun and opened the door. Before the door even closed all the way, the CIA men heard the gun start firing, one shot after another for 13 shots. Then all hell broke loose in the room. They heard screaming, rashing, and banging on the walls. This went on for several minutes; then all went quiet.

The door opened slowly, and there stood the woman. She wiped the sweat from her brow and said, "You guys didn't tell me the gun was loaded with blanks. I had to beat the son of a b***h to death with the chair!"

Lol. Classic.

<(^.^)>
Aki

meh... it was good but for the amount of reading required, it should have been better  

[babypandaramenlover]

Hey~


Whats green and has wheels?


Grass, I lied about the wheels...  

[pretty hate machine]

MagiPixx

If this is above pg-13 (whatever that is) then let me know and remove it. I'll even change the wording.. here goes:

3 grannies sitting on a park bench are enjoying the sunshine. A flasher runs over and flashes his 'Lad' at them. 2 of the grannies had a stroke... the other couldn't reach!

xd !!

~ I love that, got it in a text message today from my friends dad...?

I totally lol'ed. That's a good one.

Brian Regan told this joke in one of his stand up specials. He said his son made it up for him to tell.

Why can't dinosaurs talk?
highlight for answer: Because they're all dead.

^^;  

[Akiterra]

I had to post this. I saw this on funnyjunk.com and laugh until I cried/peed myelf