___ ways to annoy your band director

[mech101v]

i did this by accecdent
we did one set about 5 times and i sit in one spot during half of it
here it is

dont move legs while marking time  

[OpheliaSilverwing]

Now, normally, our director is pretty taciturn, and does'nt get annoyed all that easily. That was until last year when some freshmen did something to give new meaning to the term "reckless idiot." On the last day of school last year, some friends and I went to the band room to have a party. Soon later, our BD asked us to come over to the elementary school to bring some sheet music back to the elementary library, as well as take a bell set and some mallets over to a new player. While we were gone, some freshmen took the slide oil out of the head trombone's locker, poured half the bottle on the floor, and used it to slide around on chairs. On to mention, they ate all our food! Luckily, we got to hunt them down when we returned. twisted  

[Puppa]

Have no idea if this has been said yet, but, if you play a trumpet...

-Pluck at your mouthpiece with your finger (at the edge) so it makes a 'popping' noise.
-Drop your mouthpiece. Multiple times. Get the rest of the section to join in.
-Turn the trumpet over and blow into the bottom of the valves, making a high-pitched noise almost like a flute if played correctly. Then, while play, press down on the valve to change the pitch. (Just one kid was doing this, and he got our band director to stop conducting and start yelling about giving detentions to the entire row from *the person next to me* down (not including me :3) if they didn't cut it out. Shows how effective it is.)
-Take slides out of your instrument, especially if they make popping noises when they come out.
-Play in an accidental when there isn't one (just one person, mind you. It's not as effective with more than one; try making it a different person each time), especially during a part that you've rehearsed countless times.

Another one that can be done by any instrument:
-Do the wave. (Our entire back row has done this soooo many times...It annoys the heck outta our band director.)  

[i know Victorias Secret]

Fermata

Chew gum, talk, wear sunglasses, wear a shirt that says 'its funny how the director thinks I'm listening', forget you INSTRUMENT!

i love the shirt idea xD  

[i know Victorias Secret]

OpheliaSilverwing

Now, normally, our director is pretty taciturn, and does'nt get annoyed all that easily. That was until last year when some freshmen did something to give new meaning to the term "reckless idiot." On the last day of school last year, some friends and I went to the band room to have a party. Soon later, our BD asked us to come over to the elementary school to bring some sheet music back to the elementary library, as well as take a bell set and some mallets over to a new player. While we were gone, some freshmen took the slide oil out of the head trombone's locker, poured half the bottle on the floor, and used it to slide around on chairs. On to mention, they ate all our food! Luckily, we got to hunt them down when we returned. twisted

what a little a*****e  

[Katsune]

My friends in the low brass section squirt valve oil on the door handles at the end of the day when everyone else is gone except for our teacher.  

[Dr Dylan]

Katsune

My friends in the low brass section squirt valve oil on the door handles at the end of the day when everyone else is gone except for our teacher.

That sounds like fun!  

[pRiTtY-BrYnNa]

when he leaves the room we turn off the lights and start talking and playing really loud and when he comes in we all stop it freckes him out and he gits pissed at the same time  

[QueenoftheSea]

Belle89

Some of what we have are...

pretend you're a fire alarm during long measures of rest

sit on a pillow during class and say it channels your creative energy when he wants to take it away

eat candy... offer him a piece

Have a conversation with the walls, give them names, when questioned tell him that you can't trust the ceiling so he's being shunned.

Put signs that say "musical focus exits here" by all the exits or not exits

Give him presents, things like My little ponies and his very own fart machine!

We did give my Middle School My Little Ponies for gifts and now they sit in the back and are the bands mascots, even 2 years after I left Middle School! The collection keeps growing too.  

[Tickle Toe Bob]

Give your BD goldfish from your pocket that you saved for him after lunch.

Hold your instrument wrong.

Make motercycle sounds with your instrument.

Be REALLY nice to him/her, and then act all innocent when he/she asks why.

Read your book in between rests.

Talk, talk, and talk some more.

Don't tune. Just sit there and talk before class.

Get to class right when the bell rings.

Play obscenly high and off-key notes during rehersal, so your BD tries to find who it was, and you get to waste time and talk.

After class, constantly ask your BD if you can go to your next hour, especially if he is trying to help somebody.  

[Sakuyo Mazaki]

Some of the things that my band has done........


We played a song called "who let the cows out?" on his computer.
We've stood on his pedistal.
We played paper volley ball during pratice.
When marking sets we drew pictures instead of numbers.
We Painted A DDR mat in the middle of the practice field.
During a rest we all stood up and did the chicken dance.
We've switched music with another instrument.
Turned out music upside down and played it.
Put Tampons & Pads in his trumpet case.

There are so many more.  

[omiyashi0]

*sighs deeply* there aren't many ways to annoy our director. He just gets pissed.

IDEA!!! put vaseline on his directing baton!!!! xd blaugh  

[The orgasmic Taco]

I found a list of 442 ways on the internet a few years ago.
It got lost, but it was fun trying them out.  

[The One and Only 357]

*When told to go to X-set, continue playing the music, but don't go to the next drill spot. When asked what you're doing, say, "Oh, I thought we were moving on."

*When being reprimanded, say a completely random fact that's pertinent to the conversation (i.e., if he tells you that there are too many different pitches, say, 'Did you know that cats make over 100 different vocal sounds; dogs can make about ten?', or if he talks about how you're all over the place (like chickens with their heads cut off) say, 'Did you know the longest a chiken's lived without its head is 18 months?)

*Be sarcastic, state the obvious, etc.

*When you're supposed to be quiet, make random noises with your mouth, not the instrument.

*If you're in pit, or a saxaphone (if you respect your instrument, don't do this, but if it's the school's instruments, then you choose) hide drinks in niches. If he/she's looking in your direction, take a swig. It's better if it's not just water.

*If you know he/she's afraid of something, use that when they least expect it.

*If you're late to practice, make up a ridiculous reason why.

*(I know some bands don't get along with the guard but) Fence with the guard. No sabers? No problem. Use instruments, flags, rifles, etc.

*For guard people: when the BD walks past you, toss your equipment in his direction. Tell him you were adjusting to the wind.

**If you get reprimanded for being off count, say, "I know how to count, I got a(n) *insert grade* in math. (it works better if you got a C or lower, sadly)  

[phenix51]

First we rapped his jeep affter putting 350 gallons of jello in it. It had 7 hours to cool off... it was the shortess day of band camp... the next day for band camp we had jello for lunch! (no one ate it...)
but we did also pitch in the money for it to get cleaned the next day...
but man it was so funny... that was 5 years ago my freshman year in high school... mrgreen