My mission: My heart or my job?

[Snowflake109]

"It's not the time for prying, dont you think?" Haru questioned, raising an eyebrow at her. "Silly Rena, I wouldn't put more stress on you at at time like this." He chuckled also half heartedly. "What kind of guy do you take me for?"  

[Shuro2009]

She was quiet again.
"Do you think I'm an evil person?" She asked thoughtfully.  

[Snowflake109]

"What do you mean by that, Miss Asho?" Haru questioned caught completly off guard by the question.  

[Shuro2009]

"Would you believe me if I told you that I'm not the seemingly perfect, innocent, confident, in your face girl that I can act like? That I'm truly awful...horrible...evil?" She said slowly.  

[Snowflake109]

"I'm not following," Haru said. "But yeah we all have our darksides. What's your "evil" side?" he questioned, still feeling confused on the matter.  

[Shuro2009]

"That man....he sorta has a score to settle with me. He's...well, he's one of many that were knocking on Heaven's door because of me."  

[Snowflake109]

"And how does this make you evil when he's the bad guy?" Haru questioned, looking at her for a brief second trying to find an answer to this sudden outburst.  

[Shuro2009]

"When...when Alex died, I lost control. I'm not exactly the safest person. I'm constantly monitored. That's why I wanted to work alone. I didn't want to endanger you and I didn't want to risk losing control like that again."  

[Snowflake109]

"What exactly,"he paused concidering what he was asking. "Happened to Alex? How'd he die? Who killed him?" he paused again thinking that was to much. "I'm sorry."  

[Shuro2009]

Rena stayed silent for a long time.
"I was sent on a mission. Infiltrate the Celestials headquarters, get into their computer system, and reveal their next target. I did so with ease. I'm the only one that's been able to get in and out of their system undetected. Well, as it turns out, they were targeting Alex. They figured with him out of the way, I'd be nothing. Despite the director, I went after Alex. We were the best after all. When we were together, we were unstoppable. Plus, finding opportunities to rub it in his face that I was stronger was always a plus. Well, it was long after I found him that we were attacked." She said at last. "I still run that battle scene during my training sessions."  

[Snowflake109]

Haru swallowed. He couldn't think of a thing to say to her so all he did was nod. It took him a moment to regain himself before he finally spoke again. "I'm sorry that happened to you, Rena,"He aplogized again, giving her hand another gentle squeeze. "There was nothing you could do to prevent it."  

[Shuro2009]

"There was a lot I could have done. He was my brother, family, and family is suppose to keep each other safe. It was my fault he was even on the hit list in the first place." She said fairly calm.
It surprised herself that she could talk about it so calmly. She knew what the truth of the matter was. He was gone and it was all her fault. She couldn't change that.  

[Snowflake109]

"You replay the simulation all the time and it always ends up the same doesn't it?" Haru questioned. "How was it your fault that he was on their hit list?"  

[Shuro2009]

"It ends up the same because I'm not strong enough. The Celestials were after him because they thought it would get rid of me or make me an easier target. They went after him because they knew he was close to me. Explain how that is not my fault."  

[Snowflake109]

"It's not something you can control," Haru sighed. "Of course the Celestials are going to try to break you down and thats not something you can prevent. If anything the fault goes to The Agency." Haru glanced at her. "It's not like you could have seen that coming and you found out to late. s**t happens. I'm sorry for what happened to your brother that's what happens when your in this life, sadly."