Qwerty's Local Italian Anime Bar (Thing.)

[Fidei Defensor]

I don't see why he can't just bring his computer monitor over here on the counter and at least have one free hand available to give me a glass so I can fill the damn thing up myself.

...and even then, I better hope it's the clean one.  

[Magenta Placenta]

May as well get a new bartender.
Akihca reported to me just the other day that she found j**z mixed in with her apple martini.
She refused to go further into detail when I had asked her how she could clearly identify it as Zero's.  

[Fidei Defensor]

Well, if it's a new bartender you're looking for, it'll have to be somebody responsible who's here at all hours to respond when somebody comes in with a thirst. Somebody who can stand the boredom of being behind the counter without attempting to turn the TV to a pay-per-view porn channel behind your back. Somebody who can be trusted to serve only alcoholic beverages, and shoot anybody who asks for otherwise.  

[Magenta Placenta]

Truly...
Does that sound like anyone in our guild?
You lost me at the patience part.  

[Fidei Defensor]

Nope. Nobody comes to mind. *shrugs* But we better think of one fast, because I'm thirsty. And when I'm thirsty, my French ranting ain't pretty.  

[Magenta Placenta]

I won't whoop you if you just jump over the counter and fix yourself a drink.
As far as I'm concerned, these preteens in here are incompetent.
I would hire Akihca, but she's busy being foolish with me.  

[Fidei Defensor]

Maybe so. I honestly haven't been paying attention -- been too busy staring at my drink and wondering just how many cells inside of my liver are frying and begging on their knees to be spared. But hell, that's e-life for you. *shrugs*

*hops the counter, grabs a bottle of Grey Goose, walks back to his seat*  

[Magenta Placenta]

Your E-Liver is E-A Floatin'.
But yannowww. Gotta get E-Smashed when your E-Life is in the E-Shithole.

I guess.  

[Fidei Defensor]

Magenta Placenta

Your E-Liver is E-A Floatin'.
But yannowww. Gotta get E-Smashed when your E-Life is in the E-Shithole.

I guess.

Perhaps. *takes a swig* But hell, I know I got my e-problems. And they're probably not going to go e-away when I start e-drinking my e-booze. But what can e-I do? As well as I'm e-here, I might as well enjoy e-this while I damn well e-can.  

[Magenta Placenta]

I E-See your E-Point.
-Takes an E-Swig.-
That's damned E-Good.  

[Fidei Defensor]

Magenta Placenta

I E-See your E-Point.
-Takes an E-Swig.-
That's damned E-Good.

You know e-what? E-we should use this freaking e-inflection all e-day in this place and see how many e-people we e-piss off.  

[Magenta Placenta]

E- surprised
That e-sounds pretty e-good to e-me.
We'd e-drive everyone off of the ******** e-wall.  

[Fidei Defensor]

That we e-would.

*laughs* That is, e-if there were some e-people here.  

[Magenta Placenta]

It's e-late.
The e-tweens have to e-sleep.
Or literally sleep.
E-whatev, lzwlloz.  

[Fidei Defensor]

In e-deed.

12:51 on the literal East Coast, and I still find the time to post here. Everywhere else in the US is behind me.