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 Posted: Thu May 26, 2011 9:03 pm
I can no longer return to those days free of bloodshed
These deep scars rooted within me will not disappear...
 Pulling Naoko tight to his chest as the little blond stumbled into him, Hayato couldn't help but take a moment and breathe in the man's scent. His kitten. His. "There, there, Naoko. It's alright. I'm here, and nothing bad is going to happen." he soothed, looking around. Ryuukaze was nowhere to be found. That brought a smile to his face, though he didn't let the pianist see that. "Where's Ryuukaze? He just left you, didn't he? My goodness..." Jun chided, shaking his head as if he were disappointed and angry. Planting ideas in Naoko's drunken mind. Quite drunken, from the look of it. Hide it, Hide it
Hide me...
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Posted: Thu May 26, 2011 9:10 pm
"I did it because I have to know I can trust him, Michi." Akihiko replied seriously. "I tried to explain to Hiroki that... that I didn't come on to Izzy really. Things just... happened. So, if I came on to Nezumi and was flat out rejected... I could trust him. Trust that I wouldn't fall in love..." sighing, the musician took the printout back. "That's the impression this album needs... songs written by a shredded soul missing something vital... and..." he set the paper down, pacing to the sofa and standing behind it, arms on the back, leaning on the white leather to support his weight. "I don't want to be Narcissus anymore. I don't want that mask... because I do stupid s**t like that! I shed it for Izzy.... and then I was injured and had to replace it because I didn't remember things and... in part... it drove him away. Narcissus has been a part of me for so long... and I locked myself away behind it. I want to be me. No more pretending. No more... no more lies." he couldn't help but laugh slightly. "Sure, my fans may hate it... but I want to change. I really do. I need ojisan's legacy... Ohayou. I want Ohayou, Michi... because it's who I am. Hiroki cares about the business and the employees and all of that but... I care about the music more than anything else. Someone who loves music HAS to run the business, or else we'll start putting out mediocre pop songs just to satisfy the masses."
Akihiko shook his head. 'It isn't easy to write music... it's art. You have to learn to do it or have a natural talent. Music just comes to me... I can't stop it or hinder it and if I do then I can't call myself an artist any more. It's never been about the power, Michi. Just... just the music." he sighed, moving around the sofa again and this time falling onto his back on it, white towel laying over him, staring up at the ceiling.
"Izzy started a change in me... so for his memory... I'll change. I'll explain and apologize to Nezumi, for whatever good that will do... but I just had to know. The only wall I have to keep... my last self preservation defense... is to not fall in love. It isn't simple, mainly because you know how damn horny I can be... but I just can't do it. I won't. Izzy was it. I can't put myself through that pain again. I'll focus on the music. On making friends," he smirked at Michi with this. "And on tearing down the mask of Narcissus as best I can. That's all I can do... that's the only thing I know to live for any more."
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Posted: Thu May 26, 2011 9:17 pm
But Naoko shook his head, "No see... see we were going to say hi to Nakai-kun and Chiyou-san and..." he hiccuped, gripping Hayato tighter to keep from falling as the world spun a little. "And the crowd just surged and I went one way cause I'm drunk and the floor's moving... you know..." seemingly distracted for a moment, the blond got back on task. "And he was gone and then those thugs were backing me into a corner and I couldn't get away and then..." the pianist smiled up at Hayato. "Then you saved me, Jun-kun."
Kai smirked, "You lost your lover." he said, suddenly spinning Chiyou around so the kid faced Ryuukaze.
And so the blond could bend down just enough to kiss the 'kid's' neck from behind.
"Never a good idea to let Naoko run off... he might find someone else to dance with, you know." the guitarist teased.
Then he thought about the violinist's question. "Yeah, she's been great. She really likes Chiyou... especially when he feeds her..." as if on cue, Kai bit down lightly on the area where Hideki's neck and shoulder connected.
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Posted: Thu May 26, 2011 9:31 pm
I can no longer return to those days free of bloodshed
These deep scars rooted within me will not disappear...
"I see...well, that's terribly inconvenient. I don't know how we're going to find Ryuukaze in this crowd." he said, sounding so very worried. In other words...he had no intention of letting Ryu and Naoko find one another for the rest of the night. If things went as planned, he's be the one taking Naoko home tonight, all cuddly, warm, and wasted. His kitten was always so very pliable when he was intoxicated. Hide it, Hide it
Hide me...  ~( Lonely ) Mayotta nara~
~( Try again ) Nando datte~
~Yarinaosu koto dekiru kara~
Looking Chiyou up and down, Ryu subconsciously licked his lips. Of course he found the little minx attractive, especially the way he was dressed right now! Good lord! "I didn't lose him. He's just doing his own thing. I'm sure he'll catch up with me sooner or later. He doesn't need a leash on him or anything. He'll be glad to hear Yumi is doing well, though. Just...let me know if you need me to pick her up any time soon." Hands on Chiyou's hips now, he ground against the kid to the music, finding himself rather enthralled with those ghostly grey eyes that appeared to almost be staring through him as the boy writhed and moaned from the guitarist's touches and teases. ~( I’m here )~ Soba ni iru wa~
~( Believe me ) Osorenai de~
~Shinjiau koto....~
~FOR YOU~
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Posted: Thu May 26, 2011 9:46 pm
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Posted: Thu May 26, 2011 9:53 pm
I can no longer return to those days free of bloodshed
These deep scars rooted within me will not disappear...
Oh wow...this was going to be even easier than he ever dreamed. "I was telling you that we're going to go and find Ryuukaze so you won't be alone." he explained with the kindest eyes. Slowly, he began walking around the club, Naoko in tow, drifting in and out of the crowd. Whenever he got a glimpse of someone who looked like Ryuukaze, he led the blond in a different direction. This went on for a good half-hour before he brought Naoko back up to the bar and bought him another drink, a Long Island Iced tea. "I'm sorry. There's just so many people. I can't find him. He wouldn't leave without you, would he? It doesn't seem like he's looking for you, or we would have surely found him by now." Doubts, doubts, and more doubts. He wanted them in Naoko's head. It would help him get the blond home, hopefully sooner than later, especially with how completely wasted the cute kitten was now. Hide it, Hide it
Hide me...
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Posted: Thu May 26, 2011 9:58 pm
Let the Memories of the Evening be...
the first think that you think of------------------------------------------------}:-  Tanaka Michi
Physical Therapist
Fingertips...walking up your spine...a tongue sliding right behind..
"Trust is earned. You want to trust him but...now he can't trust you. That's the key. When you test someone, you think how this is going to help you but in all reality, you just planted the seed of distrust in the other person. That's what breeds fear, hate and everything else worse than what you were originally worried about. Look at you and Hiroki. You 'tested' him. A guy that used to work with you without problems. Now he can't even be in the same area as you without fireworks going off. Hiroki-san is a severe case of this one seed you planted growing into something far more horrible." he pointed out. It seemed rather obvious to him at this point but he wondered if Akihiko would get it.
"That you..wouldn't fall in love? That's a different statement...are you really testing them or yourself?" he asked as he looked up into the man's blue eyes before trying to stretch a little. Michi was starting to feel a little tight in the shoulders. Tension? Lack of good sleep? Probably.
"I get it...but really Akihiko, you control the mask, it doesn't control you. No matter what name is on your album, no matter where you go or what you do. It isn't Narcissus that opens or shuts the door. It's you. I don't think you need to toss the name away. But I think you need to rule your own destiny. Stand up and take charge of Narcissus. That mask is a part of your act on stage, but it doesn't have to come off stage. You have that choice. And seriously Akihiko, listen to your own words, You never once say Narcissus makes you do this or that. You say I. It's always been you. The name is just a comfort to fool yourself into believing you're something else. However, this is my opinion and I'm not telling you what to do so take what you can and leave the rest."
"You're already changing Akihiko. You admitted you loved Ishi-san. You made an apology to Hiroki-san. All big steps even at a time when smaller steps should be made. But...as for Ohayou, I know we talked about it before and I know you love the music but how will you run the business? Great music without skilled and managed employees brings about similar bad results. Hiroki-san may be the only guy capable in Ohayou of doing the high end business side if something happens to your grandfather. He really should be your ally rather than your enemy. I mean..isn't that sort of how your grandfather has run the business all along? I mean HR showed me these dvds when I got hired on your corporate environment and the chain of command. It branched from musician, music engineering, SFX...etc.. to your grandfather. But the other part of the ladder...HR, Promotions, Managers, Janitors and..salary men...well that goes to Hiroki-san then up to your grandfather. I doubt it goes past Hiroki-san." He closed his mouth for a moment after all his comments because he wasn't sure what Akihiko would question.
"You're telling me. I might be the former than a person with natural talent in writing. I don't know. I guess I will give it time and see what happens. Maybe when I get home I''ll feel more at ease. Hawaii is just hard to live in right now." he admitted. More than ever he wanted to take a plane home but he felt like it was far better for him to be at Akihiko's side right now. To keep him sane.
"All good goals...and right now, love isn't going to feel right. But time heals wounds if you let it. Just don't close all the doors and let your life blossom. Ishi-san would have wanted you to grow and find ways to lead a great life with or without him. He was just a sweet guy like that. And..I think making a few friends might help you...give you inspiration and an outlet to be a part of the world again." he smiled a bit but didn't focus on the mask of Narcissus. He wondered what Izzy would have said about that.
-:{------------------------------------------------when you open up your smile and see me.
...Dark Star.
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Posted: Thu May 26, 2011 10:17 pm
Around and around and around they went.
In truth, Naoko was really glad that Jun was helping him out. It made things easier... mainly cause he didn't trip over his own two feet.
But after a while...
Well...
Sitting at the bar, Naoko laid his head down on his arms, having already consumed half of the Long Island Iced Tea. "He wouldn't leave without me. I'm important to him." the blond slurred, barely able to keep his eyes open. "What if... someone got him like they tried me, huh? We should check the bathroom and... and... and all... ALL the corners." he flung his arms out in exaggeration. "But..." his lips found the drink's straw and he sucked more down. "But I'm all dizzy and... hehehe and this is really good, you know..." blinking a few times, it was obvious that Naoko... had finally hit smashed. "OH you... you know what I did earlier, Junnnnnn-kun?" he asked with a smirk. "I threw a micrer... micrerea... micraph..." blinking, he took a breath. "Microphone at a camera guy. This lady pissed me off.... talking 'bout Shou... ******** does she get off, huh?" moaning slightly, Naoko laid his head back down on the bar. "I'm all sleepy, Jun-kun.... but I don't wanna leave... Ryuuuuu'll get all worried..."
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Posted: Thu May 26, 2011 10:36 pm
"Hearing you say all that... makes me think I'm crazy." Akihiko replied with a half smirk. "I think... I know I don't trust others but... I also don't trust myself. Right now... I question whether what I do is what I really MEAN to do... you know?" turning slightly on the sofa, he faced Michi. "I just... really don't want to be Narcissus anymore. Not even on stage. He's... it's... been nothing but pain and loneliness. Hell I've never had a friend, not since I was a kid, Michi... all because I hid away. I just want to live now, you know?"
Instead of getting up, Akihiko turned even more, laying on his stomach now. "I got all these bruises because I kept Hayato safe and pulled him out of the way... but according to my schedule, I was supposed to have a photoshoot, bare from the waist up, later this week. Nezumi put it on hold for me... and hell I didn't even know about it. I... I used to manage myself and Hiroki would kind of help in some ways... but when Izzy was around, I took it for granted. Took him for granted. Narcissus thinks I can do everything on my own... but the real me knows better."
Blue eyes closed as he lay there, head pillowed on his arms. "Maybe using my real name won't work out in the end... but at least this album... for Izzy... will be from the real me and not Narcissus."
He didn't comment on Hiroki... because... well... he knew Tanaka was right. Narcissus and Hiroki had gotten along well in the past... and then the musician had to go and sow those 'seeds' his physical therapist had talked so much about.
The young Koyasu couldn't argue with that... or with the idea that he was really testing himself as well...
It was the truth.
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Posted: Fri May 27, 2011 7:16 am
Let the Memories of the Evening be...
the first think that you think of------------------------------------------------}:- Tanaka Michi
Physical Therapist
Fingertips...walking up your spine...a tongue sliding right behind..
"Ah you're not crazy. You'e just trying to make life changing decisions. Look, if it were me making these choices. I'd wait until I returned to Japan. Right now, you're so close to everything that has happened from the tsunami that you're really pushing yourself. Give it time and if it still feels right in the coming months, act on it." answered Michi as he got up and went back to the frig to find some tea.
"Maybe you should do what Ishi-san was doing. Get a psychologist to talk things over with. Clear out some of the internal baggage so you're not weighed down. Then maybe your stage name will be put into perspective and you'll know how to get over a few hurdles you've not made it across yet." he said as he opened the tea and took the first sip. Afterwards he leaned up on the counter again and listened to Akihiko talk.
Then he laughed, "Now you're separating Narcissus' actions from yourself. Akihiko, we both know it's you...so don't bother. You've thought you could do it all on your own even if you knew better," he said rephrasing Akihiko's words.
"You probably always needed the help. I'm sure Hiroki-san did a lot more than you know via other people. And well If I look at Ishi-san, he worked all the time and I bet he was really pushing himself with you and Nakai-san. And I am sure he was delegating stuff out to others in Ohayou. But isn't that what the music business is all about? There's more to an album than just the star's music but all the other things in between that puts that sound out to the public. Yeah, and you know what, that's from my first 'music business lessons' with Hiroki-san this week. I got to sit through the 'After a star writes a song....what happens next.' It was rather interesting to see how many people are really involved in the process of putting out a CD." He stopped for a moment and scratched his head pondering what else he needed to answer.
"I won't say what's going to work as far as your name or Narcissus. I like your name going on this album. It makes a powerful statement. But...don't close door completely on your stage name until you've time to see the bigger picture and work out more stuff in your head."
-:{------------------------------------------------when you open up your smile and see me.
...Dark Star.
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Posted: Fri May 27, 2011 4:42 pm
It had taken Michi a while to reply... and... somehow... well... Akihiko had just been so damn comfortable...
His back was hurting, thus why the musician had opted for laying on his stomach on the sofa. Prior to Nezumi's visit, the young Koyasu had taken some pain medication for his head and back, both of which were, in reality, a constant bother for him. He couldn't take enough medication to get rid of the pain... only take the edge off... if he wanted to be productive in his work.
Thus, after his friend had finished speaking... well... Akihiko didn't say a word.
Due in very VERY large part, to the fact that he had fallen asleep before the other man had even begun to speak.
Laying there on his stomach, head pillowed on his arms, hair wet, clad in a white fluffy towel... Koyasu Akihiko looked the perfect picture of innocent.
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Posted: Fri May 27, 2011 5:32 pm
Let the Memories of the Evening be...
the first think that you think of------------------------------------------------}:- Tanaka Michi
Physical Therapist
Fingertips...walking up your spine...a tongue sliding right behind..
All that talking and no response? was Michi's thoughts as he walked over and check on Akihiko. Asleep. He just talked the man to sleep. Well he probably needed it. And Michi just sighed as he walked into bedroom and returned with a blanket in his arms.
Carefully, he covered the sleeping angel and made sure to put the DO NOT DISTURB sign on the door. With a note he taped up on the door that said, "Really, he's sleeping so leave him be. Michi" As soon as he was done, he walked off and got into another set of clothes he picked up at the boutique downstairs. Afterwards, he walked down to the pool for a quiet swim and a soak in the whirlpool.
-:{------------------------------------------------when you open up your smile and see me.
...Dark Star.
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Posted: Fri May 27, 2011 5:57 pm
Pain was what eventually woke Narcissus. His head hurt, a steady heartbeat throbbing inside his skull.
But the headache wasn't like the ones before. It wasn't mind blowing... crippling pain. No... this was just the pain of having had surgery and needing to be on medication until he fully healed.
Stretching slightly, Akihiko's lithe fingers grasped the edge of the blanket over his body and pulled it to his chest, comfortable and warm, even if his head hurt.
It really was kind of cute... especially if someone were to see it. But at the moment, the man really didn't care.
It'd been a few hours, and though he felt sluggish and sleepy still, the young Koyasu knew he was finally well rested. Eventually he sat up, keeping the blanket around his body.
How had he fallen asleep?
Blinking, Akihiko reached out for the cell phone on the coffee table, dialing Michi's number.
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Posted: Fri May 27, 2011 7:26 pm
Let the Memories of the Evening be...
the first think that you think of------------------------------------------------}:- Tanaka Michi
Physical Therapist
Fingertips...walking up your spine...a tongue sliding right behind..
It was nice to finally have some quiet time away from all the Ohayou crazy world and the tsunami. In fact right now the restaurant he was in had Amercian football on all the big screens. It was pretty intense stuff and well Michi was having really good time watching and occasionally with the spirit of the other fans was cheering when the players made a touch down. Yes, this was finally some of the R and R he deserved.
But even if he was relaxing, Michi picked up his phone as soon as he heard it. "Hey, Akihiko. You get some good sleep?" He looked up at the waiter who was just bringing his appetizers. "Set them here. Thanks."
"Mmm...Buffalo wings. God I'm hungry. But yeah I'm in the sports club restaurant downstairs. Enjoying a good beer. Just put in my order for dinner."
-:{------------------------------------------------when you open up your smile and see me.
...Dark Star.
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Posted: Fri May 27, 2011 9:42 pm
With a half smile, Akihiko remained where he was, still comfortable. "Would you order me something too?" he asked honestly. "I'll come down in about fifteen minutes. I'm starving."
Which... was true.
He hadn't eaten all day, and was famished after just waking up.
The musician couldn't help but laugh softly. "I actually called to apologize for falling asleep on you... guess I can do that at dinner though, ne?"
Once Michi had hung up, Akihiko went about getting dressed. Jeans, black shoes, and a white t-shirt with a unbuttoned button-up black long sleeved shirt. He grabbed his shades and a white fedora, stuffing his cigarettes in his back pocket, the man hurried out the door.
Seventeen minutes later, Akihiko walked into the sports bar and pulled a chair out from the table where Michi was sitting.
"Gomen ne. Got lost. Hard to get directions and all." he spoke with a slightly amused smile.
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