Honour systems and "normal" interpersonal interactions.

[Triste-chan]

Wow.

This is actually somewhat of an uncomfortable subject for me, as I'm somewhat... snake-ish? Yeah, I guess that really is the only word for it. When I'm trying to avoid conflict, I can be pretty underhanded. For instance, a few weeks ago, a friend of mine (yes, that friend again, the one who was possessed by Satan) found someones wallet on the ground in school, ID and all, took the money ($9) out of it, and spent it on god-knows-what. Anyway, she had an attack on conscience (or she got caught), so I decided that I would give her nine dollars to help her out so she wouldn't get in trouble for robbing this random kid.

Now, nine dollars isn't a huge deal, but I've been known to help friends cheat on tests if they really needed help.

This isn't to say that I only do this sort of thing to help others. I lie for personal gain more often than I should, mostly about small things like whether or not I've done my homework. That's not to say it's okay to lie about that, because lying to my mother, who is pretty much the best mother ever (seriously, my mom is insanely awesome), is ******** terrible. And it builds up after a while.

Probably the worst thing I've ever done in terms of being disloyal was the way I dumped my ex-girlfriend. She was very emotionally screwy - we're talking about a kid who was in special classes. They just weren't able to mainstream her. She was too violent and dangerous, though she was average intellegence. It was just stupid to get involved with her in the first place, but I just got sucked into it because she was so exciting to be around and everyone else seemed so boring, and besides that, I was falling into a bad cycle and cutting myself, and she had put a screwdriver through her hand, so I felt like I wouldn't be alone as long as I was with her. Anyway, I started going to therapy and even though I was failing 8th grade (I ******** tanked, and I'm lucky that the Catholic high school I go to only looks at tests scores - I was put in all Honors classes), my family really pulled together and got me through it, so of course this girl was starting to seem less appealing to me. This was also around the time she started getting involved in Neo-Nazi culture, which was way too much for me.

Anyway, at the end of 8th grade we had this huge class trip, and I planned to hang out with two other friends of mine. I tried to avoid my girlfriend, but of course she found me and asked me what my problem was, and then she asked, "Do you hate me?"

And I answered yes.

I know that I was justified in breaking up with her, but Jesus, I wish it wasn't like that. I mean... I was going to Holy Cross next year. I could have just waited a few ******** weeks and she would have forgotten me. I just cared more about what I was feeling at the time than what she was feeling and would feel having been told by someone she trusted that she was hated.

I just... I don't know. I'd like to say that I care about others as much as I do myself, and maybe I do in my mind, but looking at my actions, I clearly don't.

Anyway.  

[CuAnnan]

What age were you at the time? What age is 8th Grade?

Regardless, you may actually have hated her at the time, and from your explanation it would seem likely. Love doesn't preclude hate. You also have to figure into the equation that perhaps she needed some tough love.

Either way, I think you're taking too much of the responsibility for this on yourself.
Yes, you probably could have handled it better, but the girl was seriously fubar and you were heading that way yourself.  

[Pelta]

reagun ban

What age were you at the time? What age is 8th Grade?

2nd Year. And you know Cap'n Carrot doesn't know who Cap'n Carrot is? That doesn't seem right...

Triste: A lot of us aren't known for being particularly tactful. You did what needed to be done and that's grand. You were probably helping yourself more than you think by getting yourself out of a destructive relationship. Don't be so hard on yourself. Things may have been a lot worse if you didn't.  

[CuAnnan]

missmagpie

2nd Year. And you know Cap'n Carrot doesn't know who Cap'n Carrot is? That doesn't seem right...

I know. He's never read Pratchett. I feel your pain, Bart has never read Pratchett either.

missmagpie

Triste: A lot of us aren't known for being particularly tactful. You did what needed to be done and that's grand. You were probably helping yourself more than you think by getting yourself out of a destructive relationship. Don't be so hard on yourself. Things may have been a lot worse if you didn't.

Here here.  

[Pelta]

reagun ban

missmagpie

2nd Year. And you know Cap'n Carrot doesn't know who Cap'n Carrot is? That doesn't seem right...

I know. He's never read Pratchett. I feel your pain, Bart has never read Pratchett either.

This must be remedied! To the library! I'd loan him some but all I have is Carpe Jugulum which is signed by Mr. Pratchett himself. So if he loses it, well... I'll probably forget about it and go along with my daily business. I don't think Carrot shows up in it though. We may need to find us a copy of Men at Arms or Guards! Guards!

Speaking of that, what are you up to this evening? Carrot and I will be in town around six if you'd like to join us...

Ahem.  

[CuAnnan]

missmagpie

This must be remedied! To the library! I'd loan him some but all I have is Carpe Jugulum which is signed by Mr. Pratchett himself. So if he loses it, well... I'll probably forget about it and go along with my daily business. I don't think Carrot shows up in it though. We may need to find us a copy of Men at Arms or Guards! Guards!

Bart thinks Harry Potter is literature with character development.
I don't think he'd appreciate Pratchett.

missmagpie

Speaking of that, what are you up to this evening? Carrot and I will be in town around six if you'd like to join us...

I'm afraid I made plans yesterday.
It, conveniently enough, just so happens that the plans are with you two.  

[Pelta]

reagun ban

missmagpie

Speaking of that, what are you up to this evening? Carrot and I will be in town around six if you'd like to join us...

I'm afraid I made plans yesterday.
It, conveniently enough, just so happens that the plans are with you two.

Good gracious. And I just thought he was being a smart alec when he said we'd be seeing you today. Excellent! I shall see you later then. In the meantime I need to get some sleep because I didn't... get much... last night. ninja Bon Nuit!  

[TeaDidikai]

Good gods. I do hope no one fell under the impression that my code of behavior makes me a saint by anyone elses standards.

I still need to make that Reagun and Tea, Right and Lefthand pathers of Gaia gif.  

[Triste-chan]

reagun ban

What age were you at the time? What age is 8th Grade?

Regardless, you may actually have hated her at the time, and from your explanation it would seem likely. Love doesn't preclude hate. You also have to figure into the equation that perhaps she needed some tough love.

Either way, I think you're taking too much of the responsibility for this on yourself.
Yes, you probably could have handled it better, but the girl was seriously fubar and you were heading that way yourself.

I was 13 at the time. So ok, it was a stupid 13 year old thing to do, but still. I feel bad. And I did hate her, it just... wasn't nice to say so.

Anyway. Angst over.  

[Neko_Bast]

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[Kuroiban]

I am working on trying to work a modified version of Bushido into my code of ethics. I say modified because, well, I believe in taking responisabbility for my trangression against my honor, the honor of others, and many other things; I don't thing stabbing myself in the chest cutting myself to smitherines while someone lops off my head is needed in this day and age.

I find this hard, however, to develop anything cohesive as my views on morality and right vs. wrong are quite fluid. Should I decide that thing A is a morale guideline that CANNOT be broken in any event, I need to be able to prove that there is no situation that I can invision that would not makie braking A a morally understandable thing.

So far, I haven't figured out a way to do that. Big surprise, eh? Complications are quite compicated, no?  

[Sivirs]

Kuroiban

I don't thing stabbing myself in the chest cutting myself to smitherines while someone lops off my head is needed in this day and age.

Not the chest, the abdomen. You cut across and effectively disembowel yourself. In the early stages of harakiri usage, you'd be expected to make it all the way across on your own before the finishing blow, but in the latter parts of the Tokugawa period, when samurai got kinda inbred and wussy, you'd only be expected to symbolically touch the blade to your abdomen and your second person would then decapitate you.


Hrmph. Kids today. No balls. Although considering the preferred method during Heian era was slitting your own throat, even those wacky Tokugawa kids were kind of a step down.  

[Kuroiban]

Sivirs

Kuroiban

I don't thing stabbing myself in the chest cutting myself to smitherines while someone lops off my head is needed in this day and age.

Not the chest, the abdomen. You cut across and effectively disembowel yourself. In the early stages of harakiri usage, you'd be expected to make it all the way across on your own before the finishing blow, but in the latter parts of the Tokugawa period, when samurai got kinda inbred and wussy, you'd only be expected to symbolically touch the blade to your abdomen and your second person would then decapitate you.


Hrmph. Kids today. No balls. Although considering the preferred method during Heian era was slitting your own throat, even those wacky Tokugawa kids were kind of a step down.

I was being simplistic, but much appriciated anyways. smile  

[TeaDidikai]

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[Kuroiban]

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