Spanking children. For or against it?

[13 Mockingjay]

♪♫ I was spanked, but I never did the same mistake twice. I have no hate towards my mother (my father on the other hand, different story), and I feel I can freely express my opinions and emotions to her anytime. She still gets upset sometimes and we argue, but I still love her. I guess she's always just seen me as more mature and easier to teach, so she let's me talk or explain a situation before scolding me. Occasionally I hear the, "I'll have the internet turned off if you don't knock it off." but that's really the only thing she can take away from me/ground me from.
Now, my brother was rarely ever spanked, and he's pretty smart-alecky these days. He'll flat out lie to my mom and start laughing about it. He doesn't listen or take instruction from anyone, and when my mom tries to tell him what he did wrong, he just burst into tears. She doesn't even have to be scolding him. He's almost 10, he's not gonna be able to cry his way out of everything.
So, I'm okay with spanking, but not abusing. If the kid does something wrong, 2-3 smacks on the butt is all right. Grabbing the kid by the arm and hitting them in the face while yelling is definitely NOT okay. I also feel it's okay if you give them a little pop on the mouth for saying something bad, but only if what they say is really mean or rude and they don't stop after you tell them too. And again, not going to extremes by smacking them so hard across the face that you leave a bruise. ♫♪

 

[Walter has ganado]

I personally feel that you need to punish for bad things and reward for good. Spanking in my books is totally acceptable, as long as it doesnt get out of hand. For example, a child breaks something on purpose, you tell them its not good, they do it again, then a light slap on the bottom is a way to encourage that sense of natural punishment. Or another example would be if your child keeps reaching for an object the aren't allowed, a light smack on the hand to swat them out of the way will show your authority in the situation and that they shouldn't be doing that. Beating your child however, that is far from okay. I think it is very important to remember during these discussions that you are looking at the situation as a parent, not a friend, and it is very important to disapline your child, but also to not be so hard core about it that the child actually leaves the situation damaged. I agree that a relationship between a child and parent is a mutual bond, but on the same side the relationship between a child and a parent is exactly just a child and parent bond.  

[Walter has ganado]

13 Mockingjay

♪♫ I was spanked, but I never did the same mistake twice. I have no hate towards my mother (my father on the other hand, different story), and I feel I can freely express my opinions and emotions to her anytime. She still gets upset sometimes and we argue, but I still love her. I guess she's always just seen me as more mature and easier to teach, so she let's me talk or explain a situation before scolding me. Occasionally I hear the, "I'll have the internet turned off if you don't knock it off." but that's really the only thing she can take away from me/ground me from.
Now, my brother was rarely ever spanked, and he's pretty smart-alecky these days. He'll flat out lie to my mom and start laughing about it. He doesn't listen or take instruction from anyone, and when my mom tries to tell him what he did wrong, he just burst into tears. She doesn't even have to be scolding him. He's almost 10, he's not gonna be able to cry his way out of everything.
So, I'm okay with spanking, but not abusing. If the kid does something wrong, 2-3 smacks on the butt is all right. Grabbing the kid by the arm and hitting them in the face while yelling is definitely NOT okay. I also feel it's okay if you give them a little pop on the mouth for saying something bad, but only if what they say is really mean or rude and they don't stop after you tell them too. And again, not going to extremes by smacking them so hard across the face that you leave a bruise. ♫♪

I agree with you completely and know exactly where you come from  

[13 Mockingjay]

Walter has ganado

13 Mockingjay

♪♫ I was spanked, but I never did the same mistake twice. I have no hate towards my mother (my father on the other hand, different story), and I feel I can freely express my opinions and emotions to her anytime. She still gets upset sometimes and we argue, but I still love her. I guess she's always just seen me as more mature and easier to teach, so she let's me talk or explain a situation before scolding me. Occasionally I hear the, "I'll have the internet turned off if you don't knock it off." but that's really the only thing she can take away from me/ground me from.
Now, my brother was rarely ever spanked, and he's pretty smart-alecky these days. He'll flat out lie to my mom and start laughing about it. He doesn't listen or take instruction from anyone, and when my mom tries to tell him what he did wrong, he just burst into tears. She doesn't even have to be scolding him. He's almost 10, he's not gonna be able to cry his way out of everything.
So, I'm okay with spanking, but not abusing. If the kid does something wrong, 2-3 smacks on the butt is all right. Grabbing the kid by the arm and hitting them in the face while yelling is definitely NOT okay. I also feel it's okay if you give them a little pop on the mouth for saying something bad, but only if what they say is really mean or rude and they don't stop after you tell them too. And again, not going to extremes by smacking them so hard across the face that you leave a bruise. ♫♪

I agree with you completely and know exactly where you come from

♪♫ Thank you. If I were to try and debate this with someone IRL, they would look at me and say something like, "She's a teenager, so she's just going off of what her mother tells her." or "She's too young to know the differences and have her own opinion." That's why I like debating on here. No one has to know how old I am unless I tell them, so they don't immediately think my opinion is bad. xD ♫♪

 

[Kimmy_is_awesome]

I'm very for spanking when its necessary. I'm my case its my my cousin's daughter who is so freaking naughty no matter what you tell her. Her mom can't seem to control her and she's obviously never been spanked. One good beat down would probably help her from destroying entire rooms when she's bored.

But I mean, everything has a limit so- just my opinion.  

[buckwolvhoosier]

13 Mockingjay

♪♫ I was spanked, but I never did the same mistake twice. I have no hate towards my mother (my father on the other hand, different story), and I feel I can freely express my opinions and emotions to her anytime. She still gets upset sometimes and we argue, but I still love her. I guess she's always just seen me as more mature and easier to teach, so she let's me talk or explain a situation before scolding me. Occasionally I hear the, "I'll have the internet turned off if you don't knock it off." but that's really the only thing she can take away from me/ground me from.
Now, my brother was rarely ever spanked, and he's pretty smart-alecky these days. He'll flat out lie to my mom and start laughing about it. He doesn't listen or take instruction from anyone, and when my mom tries to tell him what he did wrong, he just burst into tears. She doesn't even have to be scolding him. He's almost 10, he's not gonna be able to cry his way out of everything.
So, I'm okay with spanking, but not abusing. If the kid does something wrong, 2-3 smacks on the butt is all right. Grabbing the kid by the arm and hitting them in the face while yelling is definitely NOT okay. I also feel it's okay if you give them a little pop on the mouth for saying something bad, but only if what they say is really mean or rude and they don't stop after you tell them too. And again, not going to extremes by smacking them so hard across the face that you leave a bruise. ♫♪

I completely agree. Parents these days have children that run right over them and I feel it is because those kids are not being disciplined properly. I was spanked, even with a belt, and I turned out just fine. I respect and love my parents for that. I do not feel I was abused as a child. That was how children were disciplined, and I only got spanked when I was really naughty. It wasn't every time I did something bad that I got spanked...no. Many times I had to sit on the corner until I was ready to behave.

Nowadays, I feel that many people claim abuse on instances when it's not. Yes, hitting/smacking a child can be a form of abuse when used incorrectly. If bruises become apparent, the child was hit too hard. If it has become chronic, I would say that is abuse. But, a child spanked once in a while for being real naughty, then I do not pull the abuse card. A child needs to learn how to behave and to respect and listen to their parents.

I also want to add that along with spanking, a child needs an explanation of why they were disciplined. This way the child knows specifically what they did wrong so the next time they will not do it again. Discipline is not easy and parents need to be firm with their kids at times.  

[13 Mockingjay]

buckwolvhoosier

13 Mockingjay

♪♫ I was spanked, but I never did the same mistake twice. I have no hate towards my mother (my father on the other hand, different story), and I feel I can freely express my opinions and emotions to her anytime. She still gets upset sometimes and we argue, but I still love her. I guess she's always just seen me as more mature and easier to teach, so she let's me talk or explain a situation before scolding me. Occasionally I hear the, "I'll have the internet turned off if you don't knock it off." but that's really the only thing she can take away from me/ground me from.
Now, my brother was rarely ever spanked, and he's pretty smart-alecky these days. He'll flat out lie to my mom and start laughing about it. He doesn't listen or take instruction from anyone, and when my mom tries to tell him what he did wrong, he just burst into tears. She doesn't even have to be scolding him. He's almost 10, he's not gonna be able to cry his way out of everything.
So, I'm okay with spanking, but not abusing. If the kid does something wrong, 2-3 smacks on the butt is all right. Grabbing the kid by the arm and hitting them in the face while yelling is definitely NOT okay. I also feel it's okay if you give them a little pop on the mouth for saying something bad, but only if what they say is really mean or rude and they don't stop after you tell them too. And again, not going to extremes by smacking them so hard across the face that you leave a bruise. ♫♪

I completely agree. Parents these days have children that run right over them and I feel it is because those kids are not being disciplined properly. I was spanked, even with a belt, and I turned out just fine. I respect and love my parents for that. I do not feel I was abused as a child. That was how children were disciplined, and I only got spanked when I was really naughty. It wasn't every time I did something bad that I got spanked...no. Many times I had to sit on the corner until I was ready to behave.

Nowadays, I feel that many people claim abuse on instances when it's not. Yes, hitting/smacking a child can be a form of abuse when used incorrectly. If bruises become apparent, the child was hit too hard. If it has become chronic, I would say that is abuse. But, a child spanked once in a while for being real naughty, then I do not pull the abuse card. A child needs to learn how to behave and to respect and listen to their parents.

I also want to add that along with spanking, a child needs an explanation of why they were disciplined. This way the child knows specifically what they did wrong so the next time they will not do it again. Discipline is not easy and parents need to be firm with their kids at times.

♪♫ Yes. And another problem these days is the schools. I go to a private Christian school where they believe in disciplining, but not to extremes. If a child were to come in with bruises on their face or handmarks somewhere, the Pastor usually asks them what happened, and if it does involve the parents abusing the child, the school will report to DCFS. If a kid comes in a says, "I got spanked last night for..." then a teacher will say something like, "Well, you shouldn't have done that then."
I've heard that in a lot of public schools (at least around here), if a kid were to say, "I got spanked for..." the school sends the kid to a counselor and reports the parents to DCFS. I believe this makes a lot of parents worried, even scared, that the school or the child will call DCFS and report them. So, because the schools put into these kids heads that "It is never okay if your parent spanks you" the kids think, "Well, mom spanked me, and that's not right, so I'll tell somebody and I won't get punished ever again." That's why so many teenagers are running around doing drugs and stuff because they know they have their parents under their command and the parents are truly scared of their children. ♫♪

 

[Jebebo]

13 Mockingjay

buckwolvhoosier

13 Mockingjay

♪♫ I was spanked, but I never did the same mistake twice. I have no hate towards my mother (my father on the other hand, different story), and I feel I can freely express my opinions and emotions to her anytime. She still gets upset sometimes and we argue, but I still love her. I guess she's always just seen me as more mature and easier to teach, so she let's me talk or explain a situation before scolding me. Occasionally I hear the, "I'll have the internet turned off if you don't knock it off." but that's really the only thing she can take away from me/ground me from.
Now, my brother was rarely ever spanked, and he's pretty smart-alecky these days. He'll flat out lie to my mom and start laughing about it. He doesn't listen or take instruction from anyone, and when my mom tries to tell him what he did wrong, he just burst into tears. She doesn't even have to be scolding him. He's almost 10, he's not gonna be able to cry his way out of everything.
So, I'm okay with spanking, but not abusing. If the kid does something wrong, 2-3 smacks on the butt is all right. Grabbing the kid by the arm and hitting them in the face while yelling is definitely NOT okay. I also feel it's okay if you give them a little pop on the mouth for saying something bad, but only if what they say is really mean or rude and they don't stop after you tell them too. And again, not going to extremes by smacking them so hard across the face that you leave a bruise. ♫♪

I completely agree. Parents these days have children that run right over them and I feel it is because those kids are not being disciplined properly. I was spanked, even with a belt, and I turned out just fine. I respect and love my parents for that. I do not feel I was abused as a child. That was how children were disciplined, and I only got spanked when I was really naughty. It wasn't every time I did something bad that I got spanked...no. Many times I had to sit on the corner until I was ready to behave.

Nowadays, I feel that many people claim abuse on instances when it's not. Yes, hitting/smacking a child can be a form of abuse when used incorrectly. If bruises become apparent, the child was hit too hard. If it has become chronic, I would say that is abuse. But, a child spanked once in a while for being real naughty, then I do not pull the abuse card. A child needs to learn how to behave and to respect and listen to their parents.

I also want to add that along with spanking, a child needs an explanation of why they were disciplined. This way the child knows specifically what they did wrong so the next time they will not do it again. Discipline is not easy and parents need to be firm with their kids at times.

♪♫ Yes. And another problem these days is the schools. I go to a private Christian school where they believe in disciplining, but not to extremes. If a child were to come in with bruises on their face or handmarks somewhere, the Pastor usually asks them what happened, and if it does involve the parents abusing the child, the school will report to DCFS. If a kid comes in a says, "I got spanked last night for..." then a teacher will say something like, "Well, you shouldn't have done that then."
I've heard that in a lot of public schools (at least around here), if a kid were to say, "I got spanked for..." the school sends the kid to a counselor and reports the parents to DCFS. I believe this makes a lot of parents worried, even scared, that the school or the child will call DCFS and report them. So, because the schools put into these kids heads that "It is never okay if your parent spanks you" the kids think, "Well, mom spanked me, and that's not right, so I'll tell somebody and I won't get punished ever again." That's why so many teenagers are running around doing drugs and stuff because they know they have their parents under their command and the parents are truly scared of their children. ♫♪

Huh, I've never heard of a school that reports parents for spanking children. But I think that is sort of good actually, since there are better ways of teaching children. But if they are going to treat spanking and such as abuse, then it's also important to teach parents what they should do instead, so they don't end up with delinquents.

And if you are curious, no, I don't actually have any kids, but I know someone who took learning psychology and told me much of what he learned. And rewards work much better then punishments. And physical punishments are the worst.  

[September Equinox]

I'm for it as long as it doesn't get out of hand, so to speak. Some children are unruly little things, spoiled and whatnot, and sometimes it is the only thing that will get through to them. A slap on the wrist or up to three on the behind depending on their severity is fine, as long as it's not too forceful or uncalled for.  

[buckwolvhoosier]

13 Mockingjay

♪♫ Yes. And another problem these days is the schools. I go to a private Christian school where they believe in disciplining, but not to extremes. If a child were to come in with bruises on their face or handmarks somewhere, the Pastor usually asks them what happened, and if it does involve the parents abusing the child, the school will report to DCFS. If a kid comes in a says, "I got spanked last night for..." then a teacher will say something like, "Well, you shouldn't have done that then."
I've heard that in a lot of public schools (at least around here), if a kid were to say, "I got spanked for..." the school sends the kid to a counselor and reports the parents to DCFS. I believe this makes a lot of parents worried, even scared, that the school or the child will call DCFS and report them. So, because the schools put into these kids heads that "It is never okay if your parent spanks you" the kids think, "Well, mom spanked me, and that's not right, so I'll tell somebody and I won't get punished ever again." That's why so many teenagers are running around doing drugs and stuff because they know they have their parents under their command and the parents are truly scared of their children. ♫♪

In my experience, I have found private and public schools bad at this. I used to go to a private school and my BFF used to go there too. Her father physically beat her and she did have bruises, but the private school supported her father! No offense, but that is messed up. The public schools here, however, take the smallest incidences and report them causing more trouble than anything. If a school is to be involved, it needs to be done right, but that rarely happens.  

[13 Mockingjay]

buckwolvhoosier

13 Mockingjay

♪♫ Yes. And another problem these days is the schools. I go to a private Christian school where they believe in disciplining, but not to extremes. If a child were to come in with bruises on their face or handmarks somewhere, the Pastor usually asks them what happened, and if it does involve the parents abusing the child, the school will report to DCFS. If a kid comes in a says, "I got spanked last night for..." then a teacher will say something like, "Well, you shouldn't have done that then."
I've heard that in a lot of public schools (at least around here), if a kid were to say, "I got spanked for..." the school sends the kid to a counselor and reports the parents to DCFS. I believe this makes a lot of parents worried, even scared, that the school or the child will call DCFS and report them. So, because the schools put into these kids heads that "It is never okay if your parent spanks you" the kids think, "Well, mom spanked me, and that's not right, so I'll tell somebody and I won't get punished ever again." That's why so many teenagers are running around doing drugs and stuff because they know they have their parents under their command and the parents are truly scared of their children. ♫♪

In my experience, I have found private and public schools bad at this. I used to go to a private school and my BFF used to go there too. Her father physically beat her and she did have bruises, but the private school supported her father! No offense, but that is messed up. The public schools here, however, take the smallest incidences and report them causing more trouble than anything. If a school is to be involved, it needs to be done right, but that rarely happens.

Oh, my school s different. They wouldn't side with an abusive parent, I know this for a fact. Same here about the public schools. I witnessed a kid fall on the playground and get a bruise on his arm, but the next day, the school was all over him asking about it. He had to tell the teacher about 5 times before she left him alone. And the school still called the parents anyway and questioned them. And I agree that if a school is involved, it should be done right. I believe the school should mind their own business until (a) the kid has something to say a out the bruises or (b) the bruises and marks continue to worsen. It's normal for a kid to get a bruise/mark from just playing around. If the kid is coming to school with more and more bruises everyday and making the same lie about everything, then it's a problem the school might want to look into for the sake of the child.  

[13 Mockingjay]

Jebebo

13 Mockingjay

buckwolvhoosier

13 Mockingjay

♪♫ I was spanked, but I never did the same mistake twice. I have no hate towards my mother (my father on the other hand, different story), and I feel I can freely express my opinions and emotions to her anytime. She still gets upset sometimes and we argue, but I still love her. I guess she's always just seen me as more mature and easier to teach, so she let's me talk or explain a situation before scolding me. Occasionally I hear the, "I'll have the internet turned off if you don't knock it off." but that's really the only thing she can take away from me/ground me from.
Now, my brother was rarely ever spanked, and he's pretty smart-alecky these days. He'll flat out lie to my mom and start laughing about it. He doesn't listen or take instruction from anyone, and when my mom tries to tell him what he did wrong, he just burst into tears. She doesn't even have to be scolding him. He's almost 10, he's not gonna be able to cry his way out of everything.
So, I'm okay with spanking, but not abusing. If the kid does something wrong, 2-3 smacks on the butt is all right. Grabbing the kid by the arm and hitting them in the face while yelling is definitely NOT okay. I also feel it's okay if you give them a little pop on the mouth for saying something bad, but only if what they say is really mean or rude and they don't stop after you tell them too. And again, not going to extremes by smacking them so hard across the face that you leave a bruise. ♫♪

I completely agree. Parents these days have children that run right over them and I feel it is because those kids are not being disciplined properly. I was spanked, even with a belt, and I turned out just fine. I respect and love my parents for that. I do not feel I was abused as a child. That was how children were disciplined, and I only got spanked when I was really naughty. It wasn't every time I did something bad that I got spanked...no. Many times I had to sit on the corner until I was ready to behave.

Nowadays, I feel that many people claim abuse on instances when it's not. Yes, hitting/smacking a child can be a form of abuse when used incorrectly. If bruises become apparent, the child was hit too hard. If it has become chronic, I would say that is abuse. But, a child spanked once in a while for being real naughty, then I do not pull the abuse card. A child needs to learn how to behave and to respect and listen to their parents.

I also want to add that along with spanking, a child needs an explanation of why they were disciplined. This way the child knows specifically what they did wrong so the next time they will not do it again. Discipline is not easy and parents need to be firm with their kids at times.

♪♫ Yes. And another problem these days is the schools. I go to a private Christian school where they believe in disciplining, but not to extremes. If a child were to come in with bruises on their face or handmarks somewhere, the Pastor usually asks them what happened, and if it does involve the parents abusing the child, the school will report to DCFS. If a kid comes in a says, "I got spanked last night for..." then a teacher will say something like, "Well, you shouldn't have done that then."
I've heard that in a lot of public schools (at least around here), if a kid were to say, "I got spanked for..." the school sends the kid to a counselor and reports the parents to DCFS. I believe this makes a lot of parents worried, even scared, that the school or the child will call DCFS and report them. So, because the schools put into these kids heads that "It is never okay if your parent spanks you" the kids think, "Well, mom spanked me, and that's not right, so I'll tell somebody and I won't get punished ever again." That's why so many teenagers are running around doing drugs and stuff because they know they have their parents under their command and the parents are truly scared of their children. ♫♪

Huh, I've never heard of a school that reports parents for spanking children. But I think that is sort of good actually, since there are better ways of teaching children. But if they are going to treat spanking and such as abuse, then it's also important to teach parents what they should do instead, so they don't end up with delinquents.

And if you are curious, no, I don't actually have any kids, but I know someone who took learning psychology and told me much of what he learned. And rewards work much better then punishments. And physical punishments are the worst.

But, if you reward a child for the good things they do, they are going to grow up thinking they deserve a reward for everything. Instead of doing something because it's the right thing to do, they'll do it for a reward.
Also, maybe the kid will be mad at their parent for spanking them today, but in the long run it will pay off. I rather a child get spanked and disciplined then grow up thinking they can get away with everything and end up going to jail. I guarantee a day-lifetime in prison is worse than a small spanking/punishment.  

[Jebebo]

13 Mockingjay

But, if you reward a child for the good things they do, they are going to grow up thinking they deserve a reward for everything. Instead of doing something because it's the right thing to do, they'll do it for a reward.
Also, maybe the kid will be mad at their parent for spanking them today, but in the long run it will pay off. I rather a child get spanked and disciplined then grow up thinking they can get away with everything and end up going to jail. I guarantee a day-lifetime in prison is worse than a small spanking/punishment.

They'll do things just for the reward? Yeah, I guess. But by spanking them, they will do good things just out of fear of getting spanked. Either way, They are not doing it just for the sake of being good. I say the rewards are better though because people are more likely to listen to people who are nicer to them. Spanking leads to anger, and if a kid is angry at their parents, they are less likely to listen to them, and will rebel when they get a chance and think they can get away with it.

Punishments are fine, but I feel they should only be used as a last resort. Like after repeated bad behavior. And even then, it's better to find an alternative aside from physical punishments like spanking.  

[ChiffaniChan]

I am for spanking, I as well as my sisters were all spanked as kids and it did us well. It teaches the kids, and it hurts the parents more than the child. I see a lot of parents not doing it now because it is not as socially acceptable, yet they allow there child to do whatever they want, and try to reward them for doing something good, no. Rewarding your kid to do what is right? That's laughable.  

[Dora The Exploded]

I am NOT for any form of violence in punishment.
I was punished by my father when I was growing up. Whenever I didn't clean my room good enough he would grab me by the ears, lift me up and shake me. We would often sit down and cover our ears with our hands whenever he came to check.

I know that I resent my father for it. Sure, over the course of the years our relationship has gotten better but a part of me still hates him.

What he did to me and my siblings is not worse than spanking or any other form of violent punishmen.