Corrupt a Wish (Yay another dumb game :D)

[Doxymon]

Granted! Congrats! You've got your big knife.. Too bad it's impaled into your chest after a session of "Let's forget the 'Don't run with your big Knife equipped' Rule!"
I wish that everyone had English subtitles pop up when they talk.

 

[H y p n o t i c Fox]

Sure sure. But now every time you talk, you have to physically touch and put the subtitle text away. So you'll just get this big pile of words in the corner of your room forever and ever until your whole house is full of useless words!!!

I wish I had a better sleeping schedule...

 

[Radiosquid]

Done. Unfortunately now you don't have a very good 'awake schedule.'

I wish InsaneFatality looked like a heavy.  

[H y p n o t i c Fox]

>___> How nice of you...
Done. Now I'm going to sit on you and crush your body.

I wish Radiosquid looked like...a radio.

 

[Radiosquid]

Done. Now I will follow you around and play annoying sitcom-style saxophone music at you.

I wish I had a totally rad business suit with a tie.  

[CaptainBaconMan]

Granted, now you're a total d**k.

I wish this f*****t next to me would shut it.  

[Mawnster]

Granted. He has shut his mouth, among other things, such as the door, the garage, the window... Everything in the world that is "shuttable" has now been shut, and can never be opened. Ever. Now you are trapped in your house with whatever food you have left, along with millions of others, probably.

I wish I could crawl into my TV and be wherever the program or cartoon is taking place.  

[Radiosquid]

Granted. You crawl into your TV during one program, but somebody walks in and changes the channel to "Saving Private Ryan" and you are killed on the beaches of Normandy during the most epic invasion ever.

I wish I could time travel (without ******** with the space time continuum, and causing a paradox that could destroy all existence.)  

[CaptainBaconMan]

Granted, you get a time machine, but your time machine doesn't travel through time with you. So your stuck in some future dystopian society where you get effed in the a by everyone all the time.

I wish my fingers weren't so damn cold.  

[Radiosquid]

First that's a pretty sucktacular future, second your fingers are now on fire.

I wish I had a debeaked pet headcrab.  

[Doxymon]

Granted! Now every time you have a guest over, it attempts to "get it on" with the said visitor's head. To no avail.. Still pretty annoying though. Oh and you become ever more sleep-deprived due to "Charon's" (headcrab) continued need to constantly couple with any nearby head.

I wish I wasn't such an epic fail.... gonk

 

[CaptainBaconMan]

Granted, now you are just fail.

I wish I could dance all day, I could dance all day.  

[Radiosquid]

Granted. Now you can't stop dancing during the day. Ever.

I wish I wasn't on fire.  

[CaptainBaconMan]

Granted, now everything else is on fire.

I wish my knee would SHUT THE HELL UP.  

[Radiosquid]

Granted. Your knee is now fused shut and you can no longer bend it.

I wish I was a genius.