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 Posted: Sat May 21, 2011 8:14 pm
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I can no longer return to those days free of bloodshed
These deep scars rooted within me will not disappear...
Jun spent most days holed up in his room at the hotel. He had gone out with Yuuji the one day, but it had been such a horrific sight, he hadn't been able to do it again. If, by some chance, he did stumble across Shou's body...he knew he wouldn't be able to handle it.
Most of the time, he just lay in bed, sometimes watching TV, sometimes sleeping, sometimes...just crying pitifully into his pillow and ranting at whatever power that be that should be so cruel as to take away his lover and Izzy Lucky.
His meals were usually room service, which he had billed to his own card, of course. He'd not dream of having Koyasu-san pay for it. The Ohayou chairman was being gracious enough by putting him up in this room. He had money, so he'd take care of all his other needs.
A whole week had passed since the tsunami hit. It seemed like a lot longer, somehow...but at the same time it felt like no time had passed at all. He'd not had to dodge Matsumoto anymore, as he had "conveniently" lost his phone out on the beach when he was out with Yuuji that day. Hell, he'd even gone to the trouble of taking it apart and scattering it piece by piece as they went along.
What he did need to deal with, though, was his broken heart, the confusion he felt toward everything that was going on, and...Koyasu Aki.
The chairman of Ohayou knew things about him that made Jun both extremely uncomfortable and curious. How did he know those things, and why? What else did he know?
Leaving his room for the first real time in four days, he headed to the room number that the elder Koyasu had given him. Gently, he knocked, waiting for a response.
Hide it, Hide it
Hide me...
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Posted: Sat May 21, 2011 8:23 pm
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Posted: Sat May 21, 2011 8:27 pm
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Nezumi had spent the last few days with Hiroki, for the most part, discussing business....for the most part. At least, when Hiroki wasn't busy with other matters.
He hadn't even needed to be told to give Narcissus his time and space before springing his new position as his manager on the man. He'd wait until the timing was a little more suitable.
Finally, days after they had arrived, he decided to head down to the star's suite, just to gently introduce himself into the man's world.
He could hear music as he approached, which let him know that now was indeed a better time. Not ideal, but better. There likely wouldn't ever come an "ideal" time for this sort of business, and he couldn't blame Narcissus for that.
The music stopped just as the mouse arrived at the door. With quick taps, he knocked, hoping to find the man in somewhat agreeable spirits.
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Posted: Sat May 21, 2011 8:35 pm
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Begrudgingly, Akihiko stood and keyed in the mac to sleep mode. It would be password protected, thankfully, and there were only two people... now three... on the entire planet who might have been able to guess that six letter word.
Opening the studio door, Narcissus glanced at Michi, who was turning on the tv, then at the sandwiches. Instead of heading over immediately, he went to the kitchen and grabbed a bottle of water.
"Aside from worrying about me, what have you been doing?" he asked, setting the water on the coffee table, preparing to sit down, when there was a knock on the door.
It wasn't his grandfather, because Aki didn't knock... nor did Yuuji for that matter. Which meant it had to be either Hiroki, Nezumi, or Hayato. Narcissus opened the door, nodded to Nezumi, then walked back inside, leaving the door open.
It was an unspoken invitation.
Nezumi could come in and close the door behind him, or just leave. It was all up to the mousy man.
"The doctor's orders were for me to sleep. I did that. Four hours ago. Remember?" Akihiko asked, opening a bottle of antibiotics and quickly taking one with the water. "Besides, I'm eating now. Less for you to worry about, ne? I'm eating and sleeping and drinking plenty of water and working. What else do I need to be doing?"
He didn't really understand Michi's worry. To Narcissus... the man was fine. Sure, he wasn't being overly chatty with anyone, though Michi seemed to be the exception most of the time, but he was coping.
Better than him wallow in grief and self pity.
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Posted: Sat May 21, 2011 8:40 pm
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Aki had just stepped out of the shower and was finishing buttoning up a white long sleeved pressed shirt, when there was a knock on his door. The chairman of Ohayou strode through the suite, eventually opening the door halfway through tying a deep blue tie around his neck.
"Ah, Hayato-san. It's good to see you up and out of your room for once. Yuuji told me you didn't take too well to accompanying him. Gomen nasai... such things are rather difficult to face directly, aren't they?" the older man asked, opening the door further. "Please, come in. There's been no new word I'm afraid... though Yuuji's still out there searching. I don't think the man's going to give up any time soon either. I nearly had to lock him in his room just to get him to sleep for a few hours."
The chairman walked over to the living room of the suite and, using the water carafe on the table, poured a glass for himself and one for Hayato. "So, what brings you here today, hmm? How have you been holding up?"
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Posted: Sat May 21, 2011 8:44 pm
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Posted: Sat May 21, 2011 8:52 pm
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Nezumi wasn't too surprised by his silent welcome. He expected things to be...a bit cold and somber...for a while.
"Narcissus-san, how are you feeling today?" he asked gently as he clicked the door shut behind him, walking deeper into the room. He noticed Tanaka was also there, which he probably should have expected, but didn't think about. It didn't matter, though. It was all the same. This was the job he was given, and this was how it would be.
Smiling, he greeted Michi in return with a warm smile and a hello, before focusing in on the man he came to speak with.
"I've come to speak with you in regard to...well, business. I'm not asking you to do anything...certainly not now. I've simply come to advise you that...I have been assigned as your manager, from this point on as long as your grandfather sees fit. Now...I don't want to get off on the wrong foot with you, so I want to make a few things clear. I am not in any way attempting to replace...Izzy Lucky. I wouldn't presume to do such a thing. He...he was a far better manager than myself." it pained his ego to admit it, but it was the truth, "I've also no intention of directing you to do any work that you do not wish to take on of your own accord. Not until you feel ready, at least. I realize that you need time to heal...from a lot of things. I merely want you to know that I am here, and I am working for you. When you need me, you have but to ask. Do you have any questions regarding the situation, Narcissus-san?" he ended with a polite question. The manager had tried to be as polite, understanding, and non-threatening as he possibly could. Of course, Nezumi knew this would not be a happy occasion for his star...but he did want to help the man out. Even Narcissus deserved kindness...especially after what he had been through, even apologizing to Hiroki the other day. It didn't seem that the vocalist was all attitude and meanness, after all....so he hoped, at least.
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Posted: Sat May 21, 2011 9:03 pm
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Rolling his eyes, Akihiko sat down and crossed one leg over the other at the knee. "Look, Michi-kun, while I love to chat with you, really... I am trying to make a new album in there. I've gotten two songs written and fully recorded and I'm going about this the only way I see fit. Once I get the album together I'll present it to Yammi and the others and let them work on their bits then we can officially record it. Call what I'm doing a demo cd if you will, but I plan on having it finished before I'm shipped back to Japan. That gives me a week at the least to lay down ten more tracks. I have to do at least 1 song a day, preferably nearly two, or else I won't meet that deadline. This includes writing the drums and bass and guitar and piano parts... and any other parts like cello or violin, AND the vocals. I've spent the last two days locked in there and am not making near the amount of progress I should be making."
In truth, that was probably the most Michi had gotten out of Narcissus in the last couple days. He took a sip of his water, thinking about it for the time being.
"Besides, I..."
But then Nezumi started to talk.
Business... okay so Akihiko could deal with that.
Couldn't he?
He let the mousy manager finish then, when asked if he had any questions... Akihiko said one thing, two simple words...
"Get out."
When it seemed that Nezumi was hesitating, Narcissus turned his full gaze on the man. "I managed myself before Izzy Lucky came along. I'll do it again now. I don't need you, Nezumi-san. And I sure as hell don't care if ojisan hired you to do this or not. Get out."
The dangerously cold tone in Akihiko's voice spoke volumes. In fact, he hadn't been that angry with someone in a while.
It was as if the old Narcissus had suddenly appeared and not the semi-normal and perhaps even a tiny bit remotely happy Akihiko had disappeared.
The change was split second... but it was very telling.
Akihiko still had a temper. And the fact that he was simply telling Nezumi to leave... meant that his temper wasn't as sharp as it used to be. Before, he would have gotten up and shoved Nezumi out the door.
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Posted: Sat May 21, 2011 9:04 pm
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I can no longer return to those days free of bloodshed
These deep scars rooted within me will not disappear...
"No...I didn't do well at all that day, I'm sorry to say. I feel I was more trouble than good. It is...incredibly hard to face such horrors. Even with...even with the things I've seen in my days, it was too much." Jun sighed as he entered the room.
Thanking the man, he accepted the glass of water and sipped at it. It felt good going down. He hadn't been taking great care of himself, and was probably a little dehydrated, hence why it felt so incredibly soothing.
"I've been holding up as well as I can, I suppose...given the situation. I'll admit...I'm not exactly...well. A simple case of depression, I assume." he tried to smile, but it came off looking weak. Simply put, he just didn't feel it. He didn't feel much of anything other than sadness, regret, anger, and apathy, lately.
"What I came here for, though....was to simply ask...why? Why do you know things about me that nobody knows? Where did you get the information...and why do you require it?"
Hide it, Hide it
Hide me...
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Posted: Sat May 21, 2011 9:09 pm
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Aki smirked slightly as he sat down, sipping his own water. "Surely you know that a gentleman never reveals his information sources... but let us say I did answer your questions, Jun-san. What, exactly, would you do with my answers? Are you seeking the information purely for yourself... or as a gift to give to Matsumoto Izo, hmm? I can assure you, after several attempts to contact you, he contacted me and I had to confess that I didn't know why he wasn't able to call you... even though that, in itself, was a lie."
Leaning back in the chair, the man smiled. "Yuuji saw you tossing pieces of your phone into the ocean. I had to wonder... why? You're not out there searching for Shou-san, nor really helping in any way. You're depressed and filled with loss, I can understand that perfectly well... but you could be just as lost and grief stricken in Japan as you can be here. So why? Why remain on this island of tragedy... when you can go home and simply try to forget everything? Shou-san isn't the only one you've loved, is he?"
Another telling question...
Yuuji's background checks were thorough... very... very... thorough...
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Posted: Sat May 21, 2011 9:17 pm
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Posted: Sat May 21, 2011 9:27 pm
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Posted: Sat May 21, 2011 9:42 pm
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"Michi, if you turn that off right now, I'll kill you." Akihiko spoke coldly, his blue eyes having gone from Nezumi to the television.
The threat in his voice was real.
He watched, sitting there as if nothing were wrong in the world, but obviously completely absorbed in the television itself.
After the song had ended, the camera was still rolling as Izzy got off the stage and was greeted by Narcissus. Akihiko could see the anger in his own eyes as he spoke to Izzy, though it was probably lost on the crowd, and on anyone watching the video.
If one didn't know the musician personally... or was an expert in body language, one would simply think he was congratulating the other man's performance.
But Akihiko knew...
He remembered what he'd said... the, now false, anger that he'd felt...
'From what I can see, Jim, Narcissus didn't look as thrilled at his manager's performance of his own song, did he?' the tv ancherwoman spoke.
The man at her side shook his head, 'You're right. We had the clip analyzed by an expert and she claims that...'
The tv suddenly just turned off.
Well... not really suddenly, since Narcissus had the remote in his hand.
"You want to be my manager, Nezumi?" Akihiko asked, his tone cold and tinged with bitter regret. "Do you really want to take that place? Because honestly, the last manager I had end up so well, did he?" the musician set down the remote and put his hands in his lap, an obvious gesture that he was trying to calm down. "He's dead and the last things I said to him are now plastered all over the damn internet. Now the entire world will think I hated the man..." Akihiko couldn't help but scoff at his own stupidity back then...
How could he have done that?
How could he have hurt Izzy Lucky?
"I won't get personal with you, Nezumi. I won't lower my guard or my walls around you because to be honest I really don't like you. Not only that I don't trust you. You're a co-worker. You're here to make sure I sell. You're to set up my appointments and get my concerts in order and schedule appearances and press conferences and that's it. You're not to EVER set foot in my house and we will be chauffeured wherever my schedule needs me. We don't dine together. We aren't seen in public together except on work-related matters. And we sure as hell don't sleep together. Do YOU understand?" Akihiko finished, looking at the man calmly.
But those calm blue eyes held a darkness in them... a brewing storm.
He was going to tolerate Nezumi... but, obviously, only barely...
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Posted: Sat May 21, 2011 9:57 pm
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Posted: Sat May 21, 2011 10:05 pm
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I can no longer return to those days free of bloodshed
These deep scars rooted within me will not disappear...
"Well....you don't have to reveal the sources...but...why?" he asked again.
It seemed they were trading questions now, though.
"A gift?" well, he had never considered that as a possibility, and the look on his face said as much.
"No. I've no reason to wish to bear him any gifts, Koyasu-san. Though...I thank you for covering for me." he became quiet, obviously dwelling on things.
Hearing that he had been seen by Yuuji, though...well, it caught him off guard. He had the look of a child caught in a big lie...embarrassed, and somewhat scared.
Well...seemed Jun had a lot of explaining to do. A whole hell of a lot.
"I see...well...my apologies for being so...unhelpful. I know I could easily go back to Japan...but....Koyasu-san, you have to understand...all that awaits me there is more pain. And...it's not so easy as going home and forgetting. I can't forget. Ever. And no...Shou isn't the only one I've loved...just the only one I've loved right. I've been emotionally crippled since I was young. My older brother...Hayato....he...well, he abused me, for years. And I don't mean he beat me up a lot...he abused me in every way imaginable, short of killing me or maiming me horribly. When I was a teenager...I finally couldn't keep taking it. I shot him. I shot my older brother out in the woods. Of course...killing him didn't help me at all...if anything, I guess it just cemented me in my own madness. I ran off, started a band, fell in love....and then I began to feel that the only way for me to express love was to do it in the way of my brother. I....became him, for all intents and purposes. I thought...maybe this was how it was supposed to be. I had endured it for years under the hands of a brother who claimed he "loved" me...so why not love in the same way? I was mad. Absolutely mad. I would assume, from what you said, that you know all about Naoko, too, then? Well, I did a lot of terrible things to him. Things I wish a thousand times over I could take back. It was his brother, Sai, though, that saved me. Now...here's where it gets really weird....Oumori Sai...was Shou. Now, even I don't fully understand why, or what exactly caused it, though I believe it was, in the end, my fault...but he had split personalities. He didn't before we spent a night together, though. I went to his place because he asked me to talk to him, because, well, he wanted to get Naoko away from me. He knew I was no good, and he told me in no uncertain terms why, and what I was doing wrong. He was the first person to ever make me care that I was hurting someone else, though. I don't know how...but I fell in love with him. He showed me something I thought I'd lost. My soul. Of course, after our little tryst was over, things got weird and I freaked out, shot out of there in a panic on my motorcycle in the middle of the night in a rain storm. I wrecked, and damn near died. I was in a coma for ages, it seemed. When I woke up, I didn't remember anything past being with Naoko. I was just as disturbed as I had been. Even more so, actually, given the shock and the brain damage. I began to pursue Naoko again, despite his protests. I...went back to my usual ways. It was when we were at the charity event that everything changed. I stumbled into Shou's dressing room while looking for Naoko, and saw him without his makeup on. Really, it was like something out of a movie. My brain went into overdrive and it all came flooding back to me, who Sai was, what he meant to me...the fact that I absolutely adored the man, and simply had to be with him...and the fact that I was a wicked piece of dirt who deserved to suffer. I was shocked when I figured out Shou had no idea he was Sai, though. I only saw Sai a very few times after that. He knew about Shou...but Shou...had no idea. He's the reason I can't go back, though. I'm afraid to. I know what waits for me, there, and I can't face it. I won't do what I expect to eventually be asked to do, and, one way or the other, it will be the end of me. Besides...I'm not ready to leave here, anyway. It's...it's as close as I can be to my lover's memory. I'm just...not ready to let go." he choked back a sob.
Well, there it was...essentially his life story, spread out for the man to see. All his flaws, his faults...he couldn't help but wonder how much of it Koyasu-san already knew.
"Oh...and if you wondered about my brother...I killed him, again. Seems he lived through my first attempt and hunted me down for years. He kidnapped Naoko to get at me...Ryuukaze too....and I just wouldn't have it. I wouldn't...couldn't....see Naoko hurt again. I killed him, and burned the house down around him. I'm a murdered. My hands are filthy with blood, and I really don't think I care if you turn me in. Not like I've got anything else to lose. I'm nothing without Shou...and I'm scared I'll be just as mad as before without him. I don't want to be that person anymore..."
Jun was a wreck. A total wreck. It was a sad sight to behold, indeed. A man with no hopes, no dreams, and no perceived future, putting it all out there for a kind, grandfatherly man who obviously had seen the need to collect information on him anyway. May as well give it to the man. What more harm could it do?
Hide it, Hide it
Hide me...
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