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 Posted: Mon Mar 28, 2011 7:09 pm
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 ~( Lonely ) Mayotta nara~
~( Try again ) Nando datte~
~Yarinaosu koto dekiru kara~
Knock, knock, knock.
Ryu knew who it was. He didn't bother getting up.
Knock, knock, knock...
Why should he bother? What would Naoko want? To scream at him some more? To blame him? To hurt him?
Knock, knock, knock, knock....
Kami-sama...he was going to stand out there all night, wasn't he?
Sliding off the couch, Ryu slowly walked toward the door down the hall. His heart raced as he got closer. He didn't want to do this tonight. He didn't know how to deal with it. He had to work tomorrow, and he already didn't know how he was going to manage that.
Peeking out the window, he saw the pianist standing there, drenched and shaking. It hurt him to see the blond like that...he wanted to throw the door open and hold him..but he was afraid of what Naoko might have in store for him.
"Please...go away." he said loudly, pulling the curtain closed and turning his back to the door, squeezing his eyes closed as he hoped Naoko would just leave.
~( I’m here )~ Soba ni iru wa~
~( Believe me ) Osorenai de~
~Shinjiau koto....~
~FOR YOU~
kawaita tsumori ame ga tsuzunaku katari kakeru
namida wa seijaku ni...samayou yoru ga akeru
The kid didn't flinch as Kai spoke about Naoko in such a way. He couldn't. He couldn't let on that it bothered him, that anything about Naoko bothered him.
Still...he couldn't help but look away from his lover as he spoke.
"I don't really feel like going anywhere tonight, but you can call them. Wh....whatever is fine by me."
If Naoko came over, though...as long as Nakai and Ryuukaze were there, he wouldn't do anything, right? And...if he did flip out....then everyone would be safe...and they could do something about Naoko!
Perhaps...perhaps it wasn't so bad...
That was if Ryu or Naoko picked up their phones or had any interest in coming over...
karada o tsutau ame ni furueru awai omoi
guren no yuuwaku ni...samayou yoru ga akeru |
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Posted: Mon Mar 28, 2011 7:37 pm
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~( Lonely ) Mayotta nara~
~( Try again ) Nando datte~
~Yarinaosu koto dekiru kara~
He didn't want to deal with this...
No way was Naoko seriously here to apologize after all that s**t he had said. Of course he didn't believe him!
But...five minutes...
Maybe he owed Naoko at least that much, though he knew in the end he was just going to be hurting himself by giving that to him.
Padding back into the living room, he grabbed his cell and turned it on, ready to call emergency services either when Naoko left, or at the first sign of something crazy.
Slowly, he opened the door, arms wrapped around himself in an almost defensive gesture.
"So...what is it, Oumori?" he said softly, turning his eyes away from the blond as if it hurt to look at him.
Just then, his phone began to ring.
"Hang on...just a sec..." he sighed, looking down at the number. Nakai? Really? That was unexpected...
"Moshi moshi?" he answered, confused as to why he was being called by this guy at this time.
~( I’m here )~ Soba ni iru wa~
~( Believe me ) Osorenai de~
~Shinjiau koto....~
~FOR YOU~
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Posted: Mon Mar 28, 2011 7:46 pm
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Posted: Mon Mar 28, 2011 8:04 pm
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"Really? That's great! I'll tell Chiyou. Thanks, Ryuukaze-san." Nakai spoke before hanging up.
He smiled, wrapping his arms around the young man on his lap. "Well... Ryu's going to come by. He said Naoko hasn't been feeling well, but he'll ask. Just think how happy they'll be to know you're alright."
As usual, Naoko had one hand behind his neck, rubbing... the other wrapped tightly around his shivering body.
Ryu had been talking to Nakai...
About going to see Chiyou...
Amber eyes closed and the blond had to take a deep breath and calm down... least something terrible happen.
"It wasn't me. I mean it was me but it wasn't." Naoko spoke softly, trying to explain. "Ever since you... you died I... I told you about how I'm always angry and... well... a few days ago my anger manifested itself into a... another me. I... I don't know how to describe it but I see what it does and... and I'm scared." he gripped his drenched shirt tightly, knuckles white he was squeezing so hard. "I... I can't stop it. I'm there but I'm not and... and all it wants is blood, Ryu... To just hurt and hear people screaming and... it's like... everything Jun did... everything Hayato did... it's all twisted itself up inside me and I can't control it. I... At dinner it... I mean you were talking about Chiyou and I kept thinking about how he's in so much pain and I just... I couldn't stop it. It came out and said all these things that aren't true! I don't blame you at all, Ryu! I blame Jun and Hayato and hell even myself but I'd never blame you! I just wanted to protect you... It twisted everything around and... and if I hadn't gotten control I... I would have hurt someone. I know I would have... but being around people who are in pain or... or thinking about pain just... it rises to the surface and sometimes I can't make it go away..."
Naoko wasn't crying.
At least not visibly.
The rain was mixing with his tears, cascading down his body as the torrent poured from the heavens.
"Don't hate me... please... you're all I have left..." the pianist begged, choking back a sob.
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Posted: Mon Mar 28, 2011 8:19 pm
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Posted: Mon Mar 28, 2011 8:40 pm
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Posted: Mon Mar 28, 2011 8:49 pm
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Posted: Mon Mar 28, 2011 8:55 pm
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Swallowing, Naoko buried his face in Ryu's hair, his lips right next to the man's ear.
"I'm sorry..." he whispered, so softly that even Ryu might have a hard time hearing it. "SMASH will destroy us if they find out you know..."
That in itself should have given at least a little hint as to who the person might be.
But then... came that damned confession.
"Ryu, I... I had some drinks with Chiyou the other night and... and the other me... the dark one he..." Naoko broke down sobbing, unable to continue for a moment.
But then three simple words left his pale near frigid lips.
"God... his eyes..."
Another round of desperate sobs struck him, and it was a few moments before he could speak again. "I ripped them out..." his voice a mere breeze. "He didn't deserve it but I did it... I was so angry. I saw... saw Sai and Jun on television and just... oh god, I almost killed him, Ryu..."
And of course, that wasn't even an entire confession because he hadn't even begun to explain about the family man who's neck he'd snapped.
Nor the unspeakable things that Izo had done to him...
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Posted: Mon Mar 28, 2011 9:06 pm
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~( Lonely ) Mayotta nara~
~( Try again ) Nando datte~
~Yarinaosu koto dekiru kara~
Ryu's eyes widened and his blood froze in his veins as soon as those words hit his ears.
Naoko had done it. He had hurt Chiyou...almost killed that...that child! He was just a kid! Ryu wanted to scream, wanted to just throw his hands up in the air and turn Naoko over to the police or..or...or something! What the hell was he supposed to do? How was he supposed to feel?!
And yet...Naoko was saying he was sorry! Was he truly sorry? Or did he just want to be spared? How was he supposed to know what was what?
But...SMASH...would destroy them? SMASH would...then...Naoko must have...
Izo....
Oh god...that's what Naoko had been talking about.
"Shh....I've heard enough...." he whispered, holding on to the pianist shoulders as he stood, bringing Naoko up with him.
"I love you too..." he said as if somebody might be watching or listening.
Gently, he pulled Naoko inside and shut the door, locking it behind him.
"Naoko...I don't understand....I can't even begin to understand...why...or how...but if it happens again...if anything like that ever happens again...I can't even say what I'll do..." he walked away from Naoko and headed into the bathroom, taking down a towel and bringing it back, flinging it at the pianist roughly.
"Clean yourself up." he said in a cold tone.
Turning around again, he went right back to the bathroom, shut the door, and threw up.
~( I’m here )~ Soba ni iru wa~
~( Believe me ) Osorenai de~
~Shinjiau koto....~
~FOR YOU~
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Posted: Mon Mar 28, 2011 9:14 pm
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Was Ryu... forgiving him?
No... it couldn't be that easy. Not with what the pianist had done.
But then Ryu was saying he loved him and pulling him inside and... the towel smacked him in the face, jolting the young man out of his confusion.
He was sitting on the floor, shivering, dripping wet and wrapping the towel around his body in an attempt to get warm.
After all, it was Winter... and raining...
When Ryu was gone, Naoko didn't know what to do.
He felt lost... He'd just told the one thing that he had sworn never to tell, for fear of pain and death upon himself and those he loved...
Izo was going to kill him.
He'd find out... he always found things out, right?
Tears leaking from amber eyes, Naoko curled up, knees to his chest, and simply cried.
"Niisan... tasukete..." he whispered, wanting his brother there beside him.
Or... maybe he wanted to know if Sai would reject him... if he knew...
"Gomen gomen gomen gomen gomen gomen gomen..." over and over again, Naoko repeated that phrase. "The scratches... you were supposed to tear my eyes out too... why didn't you? Why did you forgive me? It would have been so much easier..." he was talking to himself, confused... disoriented...
Hallucinating...
Fever swept through the blond's body, and in the middle of a sentence, the pianist just collapsed onto the floor unconscious, skin burning to the touch.
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Posted: Tue Mar 29, 2011 8:10 am
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~( Lonely ) Mayotta nara~
~( Try again ) Nando datte~
~Yarinaosu koto dekiru kara~
Fifteen minutes Ryu sat there over the toilet, being ill and feeling like the biggest fool in the universe. How was he supposed to cope with this sort of mess? It wasn't like he had Tsubaki around right now...though he knew he should probably call her. That still wouldn't help the face that Naoko had hurt what he equated to pretty much an innocent child. That was something that could never be taken back. All the apologies in the world couldn't undo that.
Ryu still didn't know the rest of it, though...
Exiting the bathroom, the violinist walked out into the hall with heavy steps, finding Naoko slumped over on the floor.
Great...just what he needed.
Kneeling beside the blond, he felt his face and confirmed what he thought. Fever.
"Get up." he ordered, yanking the pianist up roughly, shaking him a bit until he came around, then leading him into the bedroom where he stripped him down and sat him on the bed, wrapping him in blankets.
Without a word, Ryu marched to the medicine cabinet in the kitchen and got out Tylenol, bringing it back to Naoko with a glass of water. He noticed he had forgotten Naoko's medication here, which was a blessing at this point, so he took out his night time doses or Risperdal and Zoloft and one Xanax, bringing all the pills to the blond.
"Take these." he said, putting the pills in the pianist's hand.
Once the pills were swallowed, he left again to the kitchen and took Naoko's meal from the restaurant out of the fridge and re-heated it, bringing it into the bedroom and sitting it on the bedside table with a fork and knife.
"Naoko..." the vocalist began slowly, crouching down a little to be on eye level with the pianist, "You're going to eat this food, then lay down and go to sleep, or watch TV, or something...but you are not to leave this bedroom for anything other than to go to the bathroom. Now, I have to go see Chiyou...and I'm taking Yumi with me."
His words were cold and simple, not full of love and care like they used to be.
He had to deal with this one step at a time though, and he had promised Chiyou and Nakai that he would be over. Naoko would have to wait, for now. This had to be handled...carefully. Very carefully now, if the things Naoko said were indeed true about them being in danger.
"If anything happens...call me." he motioned to the house phone sitting on the table.
"I'll be back at some point tonight."
And with that, Ryuukaze simply turned and left, scooping up Yumi and locking the house up behind him, both the knob and the deadbolt secured.
The rain was really coming down...and it was frigid cold...no wonder Naoko was ill by now. Foolish....child! He really was just like a child...fumbling with everything, seeking to have things his way, pushing his own pain on the world around him.
Sitting in the car, Ryu just stared at the rain splattering his window for a long moment. It was...very overwhelming. Yumi whined in the back seat.
Starting the car, he pulled out of the drive and headed over to Chiyou's place.
~( I’m here )~ Soba ni iru wa~
~( Believe me ) Osorenai de~
~Shinjiau koto....~
~FOR YOU~
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