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Posted: Tue Aug 11, 2009 1:11 pm
All I ask for mine is I get feed back. Positive and Negative, just nothing on my grammar and spelling.
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Posted: Tue Aug 11, 2009 4:46 pm
i have already try and i hope i win XD
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Posted: Tue Aug 11, 2009 6:41 pm
My angel gooood thingyyyy -shot-
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Posted: Tue Aug 11, 2009 7:22 pm
Does it have to be two of your digimon, or can you 'find' another digimon to help you out? I'm only asking cause I only have one digimon at the moment and didn't realize there was another contest already.
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Posted: Tue Aug 11, 2009 8:01 pm
unfortunatly two of your own, more contest ius on the way so dont worry
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Posted: Wed Aug 12, 2009 9:41 am
Well I feel pleased with myself, sort of, not my best work but I do like my ending.
Draco stood, the battle raging around him. He blocked a Musyamon ‘s blade with his metal arm. Draco ducked down, springing forward into Musyamon’s chest, his metal arm held back in a punching motion just as the hand fired off hitting Musyamon back. Draco quickly pulled in his grappling hand in, watching the battle move forward. They were winning. Draco smiled to himself, this was so good, and beating Toan was always a goal of his. Then the air went cool. Draco shivered a Shakespeare quote entering his mind. “Something wicked this way comes.” Toan has entered the battlefield. He was smashing his way through the ranks of digimon around Draco, his claws ripping any digimon into data around him, the digimon at his side doing almost as much damage. No digimon could stand up to Imperialdramon’s sword and all fell when Astamon’s pointed his gun at them. Draco growled as he charged forward, fighting the fear washing over him. He sent his arm flying at Toan, waiting for it to hit him. It never happened, Toan grabbed the hand in his clawed hand. He smirked before pulling Draco closer, and right into Toan’s fist. Draco spat up some blood, the blow cutting the inside of his mouth. He growled as he pushed himself up, suddenly a kick flipped him over. Toan stood on his chest, Draco’s metal hand still being held by Toan. Draco tried to struggle and get up, but Toan pressed down on his chest again. Chaos was tearing through the digimon before them; most were weak and only joined Toan because they were scared he would kill them if they didn’t, pitiful. He impaled a Myotismon on his Dramon Killer; the data covered his claws as he tossed the Myotismon away. He suddenly noticed his tamer being pulled across the battlefield. “What has he gotten himself into now?” He asked himself, flying over to help his tamer, only to be blocked by a massive sword, which barely missed him. Chaos stopped flying, turning to face the wielder of the blade, Toan’s Imperialdramon. Chaos smiled, Draco would have to wait. Nil was just behind the action, killing a few of the digimon but staying away from the most danger. He suddenly saw the digimon in front of him cut down by a machine gun. Nil growled, looking to see who held the weapon, it was Astamon. Nil jumped into the air and charged towards Astamon. “Glorious Burst.” Astamon laughed, raising his machine gun and firing a single bullet, blowing up the Glorious Burst before it hits. Chaos’ Dramon Killer was inches away from Imperialdramon’s eye, the White Dragon blocking the attack with his sword. Chaos pulled his claw back, kicking up as he did. Imperialdramon’s arm was hit back as Chaos charged in with “Black Tornado” only to be met with Imperialdramon’s “Hyper Prominence” blowing Chaos back. Chaos spun in the air, getting back his balance. Chaos growled, “Terra Destroyer!” He yelled, a massive black fireball flying straight at Imperialdramon. Imperialdramon only laughed, his sword cutting through the dark fireball, protecting himself. Imperialdramon only laughed as he launched another “Hyper Prominence” Chaos barely managing to dodge it. Chaos charged in. “Terra Force!” The fireball being compressed this time to the size of a soccer ball, the small fireball floated towards Imperialdramon, who raised his sword to block it, but Chaos was already behind his attack. “Dramon Killer” his Claws being coated in Dragonic Power. He hit his attack, forcing it to explode towards Imperialdramon, no guard being able to block that attack. Imperialdramon was thrown back, but Chaos wasn’t done with Imperialdramon. “Black Tornado!” The spinning mass of energy, charged through Imperialdramon, turning him into data. Nil had gotten close to Astamon, thinking he could take him out easier up close. He was wrong. Astamon was just as strong at hand-to-hand combat as he was with his machine gun. Nil swung his GeoGrey Sword, but Astamon blocked it with his machine gun. Nil jumped back, sending another “Glorious Burst” at Astamon, this on connecting with Astamon, sending him back. Nil charged in, going for the kill. Astamon smiled, flipping in the air and kicking Nil in the face. Nil hit the ground, barely able to get up. Astamon jumped towards Nil, his machine gun aimed at his head. Astamon was about to pull the trigger, but a massive V shaped beam suddenly hit Astamon, sending him flying off Nil. Kira, the UlforceVeedramon showed up just in time. “I will not allow you to hurt my friends, stop this and give up, or else I will have to revert you to data.” He said, his Ulforce Saber already out. Astamon only laughed, getting up from the ground he took aim with his machine gun. “I will not betray Toan.” He started to fire his gun off UlforceVeedramon sighed, the bullets bouncing of his Ulforce Shield. “Then you won’t live to see tomorrow. Nil, Glorious Burst please.” Nil only nodded, firing the fireball out. Astamon prepared to dodge, but the Glorious wasn’t aimed at him, but the ground. The Fireball exploded; a massive burst of light went out blinding Astamon. The moment of blindness was all Kira needed, in a second he closed the gap between Astamon and himself, his sword cutting Astamon’s throat.
Draco struggled under Toan’s heel, but the Dark Lord held him there. Draco sighed, thinking for a second before he struck, his legs going up to kick Toan in the back of the knee, forcing him to lean forward giving Draco the time he needed to pushed Toan to the side and roll to his feet. Draco grinned as he pulled his grappling hand back into place. Toan had just stood back up, barely fazed by Draco’s move, he moved back towards Draco his claw ready for the kill. The claw flew at Draco, who blocked it with his metal arm, scratch marks appearing in the metal. Draco did a quick left hook hitting Toan. Toan took the blow, laughing it off. “Was that it? You aren’t even worth this.” He laughed, backhanding Draco to the ground. Draco rolled with the blow, it still hurt but he managed to stay on his feet. He fired his grappling arm out at Toan, this time Toan dodged the blast. Draco smiled, he fell for it, and a sudden burst in his arm, on the left side only, changed the course of his hand. It started to wrap around Toan, preventing him from punching him. Draco started to pull in his hand, dragging Toan with it. As Toan flew towards Draco, Draco kicked out, hitting Toan in the gut. Draco grinned, this was turning out to be a great day. Toan stood up again, not even close to being done. He struggled, and broke the unbreakable rope around him. “Oh… joy…” Draco said, suddenly finding himself without a hand. He roared a battle cry, charging forward to attack with his broken arm. Toan dodged, grabbing the arm as it flew past his head and snapping half of the forearm off. Draco growled, grabbing Toan, as his arm was broken. Toan grabbed Draco’s arm, not letting him go. That is until he felt a pain in his stomach; Draco had stabbed him with his broken arm, a fatal wound. Mouths latter, Draco was inspecting his new arm, having just got it back fully repaired today from Jijimon. Draco smiled, looking at the old broken one by his side, Toan’s black blood still on it, proof he was dead.
If anyone took the time to read this could I have some feed back? Both positive and negative if you please. I do want to improve.
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Posted: Wed Aug 12, 2009 9:52 am
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Posted: Wed Aug 12, 2009 10:07 am
I knew my grammar sucked... and my spelling would to but I love spell check.
THank you pummel! I really appreciate the time you took to read and think of ways I could improve myself. And I know you know what you are doing, I can't wait for your roleplay.
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Posted: Wed Aug 12, 2009 12:10 pm
you b*****d you killed me xD alright i'll read the rp when i have time
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Posted: Wed Aug 12, 2009 12:19 pm
I know. But I don't think you would give up without being killed.
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Posted: Wed Aug 12, 2009 12:40 pm
well i like the rp but i though the fights could be a bit more descriptive. but otherwise i liked it
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Posted: Wed Aug 12, 2009 5:51 pm
lawl, someone should write it with toan as the main character and themselves as the 'antagonist' you know, those stories with the bad guy as the main character? -snort-
Draco, your rp was really good! I loved the fight scene :3 you have some grammer stuff that could be fixed, I suggest a spell check or word or something. But Lummy liked it:3
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Posted: Wed Aug 12, 2009 6:41 pm
I should have restated my no grammar and spelling clause again. I know my grammar and spelling is terrible.
Also thank you Lummy, I enjoy the fact you liked it.
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Posted: Sat Aug 15, 2009 8:01 am
Part 2-- down for a re-write-
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Posted: Sat Aug 15, 2009 12:04 pm
god damn how much chapter this rp gonna have
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