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 Posted: Mon Mar 14, 2011 8:03 pm
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Posted: Mon Mar 14, 2011 8:43 pm
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 ~( Lonely ) Mayotta nara~
~( Try again ) Nando datte~
~Yarinaosu koto dekiru kara~
Pinned to the wall was the last place Ryuukaze thought he would find himself today, and it absolutely caught him off guard.
And yet...Naoko seemed the most sane yet today in this moment, as though the anger cleared his head.
"Why wouldn't I hide it, Naoko? I've no right to feel it." he whispered, turning his eyes from his lover.
"I've done the same as you. Hell, if Izo hadn't taken me out and insisted I drink, it wouldn't have happened...but that doesn't change the fact that I did what I did. I'm responsible, and I can't be angry with you for what was, at the root, an accident."
So strange, being against the wall like this. It made him feel frail and...afraid. Afraid of Naoko. Naoko seemed very different in this moment, and it threw him off...
"C....come on, babe. Just let it go, ok?"
~( I’m here )~ Soba ni iru wa~
~( Believe me ) Osorenai de~
~Shinjiau koto....~
~FOR YOU~
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Posted: Mon Mar 14, 2011 8:46 pm
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Oh that tongue caused his heart to race. His own tongue flicking back to tease the other to come further in. Entwining finally, Izzy couldn't help but feel breathless. He had wanted to feel this for so long. Wanted to be near him. He didn't want to think of the past horrors he had suffered, he just wanted to find his way back into this man's arms...somehow.
As he was lifted and finally fell to the bed, his mouth rediscovered the man beside him so quickly. Searching for those lips and kissing back. His lips asking for continued passion between moist breath. His hands ran along Akhiko's shirt and over his chest. It felt so comfortable to be there within those warm arms. He didn't want to wake up if this were a dream.
He looked up into those blue eyes again and shivered just a little. He wasn't sure what would come next beyond the kissing, but this was something he had longed for in so many ways.
Hovering over Izzy once he had withdrawn from the kiss, Akihiko stared down at the megane-clad man with a slight smile.
"I never really thought I'd do this, you know..." he whispered before leaning forward and placing gentle kisses along the man's jawline and down his neck. "But... you were... important to the me before... I was a fool to ignore that. Gomen nasai, Ruki..." raising back up, he gazed down at the man once more, just taking Izzy's expression and blushing cheeks into his memory. "God you just beg for it, don't you..." the musician replied with a soft amused laugh before leaning in and kissing his lips again, though this time his tongue stayed put. "Doushite, Ruki? The me now... doesn't even really know you... but I have all these strange memories that have popped into my head... why do you mean so much to me... without me even knowing it?"
Strange words for Narcissus to say... but it was the truth.
The memories... they all pointed to a deeper relationship, obviously a sexual one... but it wasn't just about sex. For Akihiko, it had always just been the sex before. He had never really let himself get close to someone... though there had been Michi recently... but from everything he could gather from his fragmented memory... Izzy had been the first one he'd opened up to.
Why?
What was it about this manager that made Narcissus fade away and Akihiko shine?
Izzy watched that face as the lips withdrew and the words began along with kisses to his jawline that caused a soft moan to escape him. Each gentle word along with his name settled the manager more and more into his submissive self. How long had it been since he had felt this way? So long. "I...I don't...beg." he pouted just a little bit frustrated in more ways than one. His manager side not quite out of the loop...but getting there.
"Shiranai. (I don't know.) Except...what my heart tells me, what my body tells me when I'm with you." His lips were pink with the warmed of previous kisses and now parted just enough to take in air. "I could tell you all about our world before but...maybe you should just experience here instead...then you tell me why." He said thoughtfully as he gave the man a soft innocent kiss before tucking his head against Akihiko's chest to snuggle.
There had been more than sex. At least that was what Izzy thought. It felt good...to be just the two of them. Together warm and alive.
Akihiko blinked lazily, still staring down at Izzy Lucky. "You would let me be me?" he whispered, a question which obviously confused the musician. "Experience here, ne?"
With a soft smile, Narcissus leaned forward and gently kissed Izzy's lips again before pulling back until they were nose to nose.
"Doesn't sound like such a bad way to spend a flight... just you and me, hmm?" the young Koyasu asked, though his intentions remained unclear at first.
It wasn't until he unpinned his manager from the bed and simply lay down on the mattress beside him... that his intentions became clear.
"Don't get me wrong, Ruki... it isn't that I don't want to just tear your clothes off and go at it... I just..." blue eyes moved to look at the megane-clad man beside him. "I want to understand you... understand the memories I keep seeing... you and Michi are the only people who aren't pushing me to be who I was... that gets a helluva lot of respect from me."
Ruki smiled, "Just be you...that would make me happy." he answered with a gentle smile even as their noses nuzzled. It was sweet and soft and not filled with any angst. Just a tender touches. He could be happy with just that and when Akihiko laid down it seemed he was indeed a little lucky today.
"I know. You're a man after all." answered Ruki as he took off his glasses and set them on the bedside table. Then he reached down and dragged the comforter up over them and cuddled inward until he was right up against that well defined body. Somewhere in the midst of it all he kicked off his shoes but who knew when.
"Just take it slow. No rush here. If I pushed you, you'd push me away or push back. I just want you to be you...and that is something I cannot make you be." His hands curled up against Akihiko's chest just as if life had been as it once had before. A small kiss upon that chest, a foot rubbing along Akihiko's ankle. His eyes started to flutter with the thought that he was safe...he could sleep here soundly with no bad dreams.
"You know..." Akihiko whispered as he placed an arm around Izzy, pulling his manager close as they lay there comfortably on the bed. "I'm only letting you off the sex hook because I'm hungover and tired, right?" he teased, turning his head to look at the man beside him, before kissing Izzy's forehead gently.
He sighed softly, other hand moving to play with the megane-clad man's hair. "It just feels so strange... having someone who I know I opened up to before... and yet also someone I haven't opened up to... around... Like you're not judging ME but the things I do..." he sighed again, shaking his head. "No wait, that doesn't make any sense... Okay yeah, this was a lot easier when it was always just, 'hey, you're sexy, let's jump in the sack.'." Narcissus joked with a smile.
"Can I trust you, Ishi Ruki?" Akihiko asked seriously. "Really trust you, I mean. Can I know you've got my back even if the world's against me?"
Apparently his previous self had felt that way...
Because there had been a time when the world had been against him... and according to others... according to his own fragmented memories...
Izzy had been the one who had saved him...
Who had had his back then too...
"Well I suppose..you can save that request for a later date." Ruki whispered back thinking about the idea of a date with Akihiko. That might be fun without as much possibility of fans and other annoyances. He could really enjoy it...right?
Ruki's eyes remained closed as his hair was played with and he had nestled into a comfortable position that he wasn't going to give up for awhile. "It doesn't make much sense but here we are. And maybe you don't have to analyze it at all. Just enjoy this moment and those to come. It's just so nice being here...with you." All safe and sound and for once no noise of the world around them so high in the air where no one could see.
Then he paused at the last questions taking a moment to think of the right answer, "That is for you to decide. I could tell you 'Yes, Trust me.', and you might not believe me. All I can say is I think you did trust me before...but you...you now will have to decide that on your own. As far as your back, yes...I'll be here just as I was before. That I can promise you." He was honest as he could be but he knew that Akihiko was a man that had to experience things. He couldn't just be told and then would accept. It was how his world worked so Ruki would have to be patience.
Licking his lips, Akihiko nodded, "Then I'll wait and see... I'll decide that on my own, from your actions." he replied softly, thinking about what his manager had said.
It was true... especially since Narcissus was the suspicious or sometimes paranoid type.
Absently, the musician's fingers continued to stroke through Izzy's hair, even as the man's blue eyes closed in comfort. "Man... Yammi-san last night just... I was so drunk and I doubt Michi even noticed how smashed I really was. I'm surprised I'm even awake right now... What about you, Ruki? Is my cousin keeping your up at all odd hours of the night with his 'advice'?" Narcissus asked, laughing softly as he said it. "I'm glad he's here though... gives you a chance to rest. Oh and Yammi-san said you've got horrible eating habits... from what I remember... we went shopping once and, well, we only did it because I didn't want more frozen food." Akihiko smiled.
It was so nice...
To just lay there... no pretense... no fake airs... nothing but just being.
Relaxing... and free...
A true vacation already...
He was just a little embarrassed when he saw Akihiko's lips. He blushed at the thought of what the man might be thinking but tried not to let Akihiko see that because it might turn him on! He was actually enjoying this tender quiet side of Akihiko. He felt safe...and he wished he could say loved but at least he could say affectionately wanted.
"Mmmm...Takagi-san is as bad as you at times. Yes, he's full of advice but hasn't kept me up all night. In fact, he wanted me to go to bed so I would get some sleep. Although my bed was too cold...it took awhile. I'm glad he's here too. I can't honestly remember when I took a real vacation last." He nuzzled that warm chest just a little finding the perfect spot in the crook of Akihiko's arm.
"Oh! Oh my....he did? Yammi-san. That man...well umm...ah...I bet he is talking about my frozen dinners. But I told him I don't have time to cook...and well mm.. I don't cook that well." he admitted as his fingers kind of fidgeted with the thought. "Yes, you...mm... wouldn't let me by any frozen dinners. Ok, you let me buy one really healthy one. We had the grocery store to ourselves. It was kind of nice...you actually cooked too, Akihiko." he licked his own lips at the thought. "I think you enjoyed shopping for yourself. You hadn't done it in awhile...or maybe not at all. But you seemed to be very aware of what you picked out...reading labels and all." He smiled again as he remembered the cans aisle.
Right now, Ruki was happy. Each time his name was called, he felt more and more content in a way he doubted he ever experience with anyone else. It was so relaxing and his fingers drifted down to run over Akihiko's belly but then he realized as his fingers drifted back up that he could feel how skinny Akihiko was. "Mmm...you've not been eating well. I should be feeding you...I need to help you get your weight up." There was a little concern in his sweet voice even as he continued to snuggle. He didn't want Akihiko to get sick or worse.
Laughing softly, Akihiko shook his head, "You and Michi both... I'm fine, Ruki. Really. I mean think about it, I've been on strong pain medication for my headaches... those are curbing my appetite. Right now I'm hungover and food just turns my stomach. It's nothing for you to worry about." he spoke with a soft smile, not wanting Izzy to get hung up on his eating habits too.
Sure, he was lying. Kind of... at the moment he WAS hungover and food turned his stomach sure but... the pain medication wasn't exactly the reason he wasn't eating. He simply didn't want to, didn't feel the need to. He was never hungry... least not for food.
So, he simply changed the subject... slowly...
"I enjoy cooking, though yeah I usually can't go to the store. Tend to have someone do that for me. I mean really, imagine the chaos if I showed up." he laughed softly, "Guess I could shop at like 2am... might be less of a crowd, ne?" the musician turned just a little so he could watch Izzy's hand on his chest. "Maybe I should cook you something, hmm? Something sweet? I can still remember how to make the strawberry shortcake that my okaasan used to make for me when I was a kid..."
Okay so he hadn't ever told ANYONE that.
Baking really wasn't very manly now, was it? But it was a nostalgic memory for Akihiko... one of few from his childhood...
He smiled, leaning just enough to kiss the top of Izzy's head. "Yuuji used to make fun of me for it when we were kids. For helping her make it that is. Course he'd always try to steal all the strawberries in the process."
"Alright, as long as it is the medicine. I know you wouldn't fib...you hate it when I do." he answered softly, "We'll just half to fatten you back up when they reduce your medications." He sighed and just let it go for now. He wouldn't fuss too much unless he saw ribs really sticking out. Then he'd be worrying much more.
"We had fun at the store. It was so random when we went your fans never had time to catch up." he laughed a little. "But I'd go with you at 2am if you wanted to shop at the store." he teased gently and let his finger swirl around in a circle upon Akihiko's chest. It was easy to tell how happy he was and how relaxed. His foot slowly moved along Akihiko's leg brushing the calf before drifting back down to the ankle.
His eyes opened and lifted when he heard what Akihiko said about sweets and strawberry shortcake. His lips pressed together at the thought of such a delicious treat. "It sounds so good. I would love to try it. I bet it's delicious. Home recipes are always the best...made with love and care."
He laughed a little when Akihiko talked about Yuuji. "I'm not surprised. You'd have done the same thing if he had been making the cake. Two peas in a pod. I'd steal the strawberries too...just to warn you ahead of time." he teased back and then playfully pinched Akihiko's butt.
Narcissus smirked, "You're different." he spoke, sitting up just enough to look down into Izzy's eyes. "From your usual self, I mean. Like there's two Izzy Luckys..." the musician couldn't help but laugh softly before grabbing his manager's naughty pinching hand and bringing it up to his lips.
He kissed those fingers lightly, staring at the digits as he spoke.
"I like different, you know... It's not so different from me in a way... your serious manager side and your loving sexy side..." blue eyes focused in on Izzy's own gaze. "Your manager side works rather well with Narcissus... and yet this side of you, Ruki... makes me feel peaceful and calm."
That kiss upon his finger caused a slow breath to release from his own longing for moments such as these. He wanted more of them but who knew what the future held. He had to just wait it out and see. Wishing only went so far. "Maybe just a little..." admitted as his finger tips took to brushing along that soft bottom lip on their own accord.
"It was an accident that you saw this side of me, I used to regret it when I thought it might affect my work. But you were quite determined to change my mind. When I'm with you like this...stress seems to flow away. I want to hear you...say my name. Sometimes I don't understand it myself, but hearing you say that...just somehow refocuses my head. And I don't want to think about work...or any of that. I just want to...be with you." His submissive nature seemed to be so comfortable with Akihiko's own dominate nature. And while he'd never want to describe himself as a sub, it was so easy to fall into that with Akihiko. Although, he had added a bit of spice into their world lately, a little more assertive but that didn't change his desire.
"When I'm working, I'm very focused on making my Stars successful. Sometimes its so hard to escape that...work, eat, sleep and repeat life. I want your art to flourish more than anything. To know that whatever you've done will be remembered. Sometimes I forget to take care of myself when I'm in that mode...but you use to make sure I remembered...and I've tried to do better although I still can't cook." he frowned a little at that thought but it was just a fact, he didn't have time to learn or think about it.
His smile turned to a soft smirk as the musician looked down at Izzy. "So, you're saying I'm your vacation?" he teased, joking about how his manager's stress seemed to 'flow away'. "Well... I'm glad that you can relax around me... when I'm not throwing a drama queen fit." his smirk became a smile, kissing Izzy's fingers again. "What I saw at the DVD cutting, Ruki... the way you worked so hard... well, I just want to say I'm sorry for how I acted before. With the phone and the book case. I was... confused... hell probably even scared. And angry."
Sighing, Akihiko laid back against the pillows, closing his eyes. "I wouldn't mind cooking for you, Ruki. Maybe the hotel will have suites with kitchens." the man laughed, eyes still closed as he relaxed. "I wouldn't mind making your breakfast. I cook much more than just toast..." he teased, obviously referring to the memory of Izzy's meager breakfast skills...
Izzy smiled till his teeth showed, "Yes, I guess you are!" Maybe that was true because he could relax so easily when he was like this with Akihiko. It was hard to explain because he hadn't ever felt like this for anyone so deeply. "You are a drama queen at times. The worst kind! But fortunately you've not gone as far as to wear a dress." he teased back and snuggled a bit more as his fingers were kissed. This was so similar to what he remembered of Akihiko before the accident but he knew that the man of now still didn't remember everything so he tried to avoid rushing any particular thoughts.
"I suppose I should apologize too. I'm sure telling you about your life before so fast just made matters worse. I'm sure you were confused and scared. I wouldn't be surprised if you had gotten angry. You get angry too easily sometimes." His fingers slide over Akihiko's chest and settled down flat to rest. He knew eventually he'd fall asleep and that sleep would be welcomed. But for now he wanted to enjoy these moments as much as he could.
"We'd get to go grocery shopping if they do." he mused at the thought and was glad that Yuuji was doing all the work. "I need to go...car shopping. The sedan from Ohayou is...well not my style." Then he paused, "Breakfast would be wonderful...but wait...it was good toast wasn't it?? There was Jam!" Ruki fidgeted just a little about that thought. He was a TERRIBLE cook and thus, he always chose prepared foods that didn't require more than open and heat.
Frowning slightly, Akihiko shook his head, "I don't remember what it tasted like... only you making it." the man nodded however, rather liking the idea of shopping. "I'll go with you. I don't know a damn thing about cars but... I wouldn't want to make you go shopping on your own, especially if we need to get groceries. I've... never been to America... my English isn't that good so," his blue gaze focused on the man as he gave Izzy a wonderfully charming smile. "I'll be relying on you a lot, Ruki."
But then there was something else the manager said that gave him pause...
"I... am quick to anger lately..." Akihiko eventually whispered, seeming to ponder over this for a moment. "Seems Hiroki's the main person to push my buttons but... it's like..." for a moment, the musician appeared to be grasping for just the right words. "I feel part of me missing and it's frustrating. Hell, I can't even write a proper song lately."
"I guess it is better that you don't remember how it tasted. " he smiled a little pretty sure that his toast was just average if that. "I know a little about cars but its mostly from my time in America. My Uncle likes fast cars. In Hawaii there are many Japanese too. But I'm good enough in English that we will be fine. Growing up there a few years tends to solve the language barriers." He kind of liked the idea of Akihiko relying on him bu then again he knew the spoiled man tended to get frustrated when he couldn't get things done on his own.
"You are...but I understand some. It must be hard not to be able to remember everything you've done and...being unable to write or remember your recent songs." he sighed a little and closed his eyes wishing he could help somehow. "If there is anything I can do to help you just let me know."
Akihiko rolled his eyes, "You could bash me in the head and see if I go back to normal." he joked.
It seemed Izzy didn't understand though...
It wasn't about not remembering his songs, but about not being able to write new ones. He simply couldn't. Not the lyrics or the arrangement. Not like before.
It was as if... as if his creativity were blocked...
Held captive with the very memories that were locked away in his mind...
To Koyasu Akihiko... not being able to make music was like being unable to breathe. Like slowly suffocating bit by bit...
Of course he wasn't ready to confide that in anyone. Sure, Michi knew he was having problems with his work, but he didn't know how truly devastating it was to the young man.
And the young Koyasu didn't want his manager knowing either.
"Tell me, Ruki..." Narcissus began, once again absently stroking Izzy's head with one hand. "You say you grew up in America for a time. What was it like?" he smiled softly. "What was young Ishi Ruki like?"
"Well if I thought it would I might. But you've had enough head trauma lately." he answered with his own small joke.
No he didn't fully understand the block but thought that it was too near to the surgery to say anything was permanent. It took time to get a creative spark going.
"Oh that part of my life...I was much different. I was a rebellious kid always causing trouble in school and at home. I wasn't going very far with my life then, not sure if I cared where I was going until I met my Aunt who came over with my Uncle on holiday. She showed me a bit about her job. Then, well things suddenly became clear to me. I wanted to do what she did and she brought me to America for awhile to learn but my family wasn't happy with the idea of me possibly staying in America for the music business. They run a Ryokan and wanted me to take over that but I refused and ran off, finally getting a job at Indie. Probably not what most expect from a person like me. I usually don't talk about it much at Ohayou. My parents and I still don't see eye to eye about the matter." he said with a sigh, "But I'm going to follow my own path in life. I can't live their dream when I have one of my own."
"But...America, its much more relaxed than Japan and you need a car to get anywhere. The customs are more relaxed but they are more prudish about relationships in published materials. I loved America. Wide open spaces and driving fast down long roads. Wind in my hair. I did stupid stuff there but always got lucky. Earn my American name ...Izzy Lucky from those day with my rather wild friends. Learned a lot about music and never thought I'd be back in Japan except my family issues. But yeah, I would love to show you America. You'd like it I think." He smiled brightly as he thought about those days and maybe well Japan had aged him a little too much into the standard business man. He should have brought that cool suit that Nikki had him wearing. He should update his wardrobe.
"Boy...thinking about that makes me think...I should mm...shop."
"Well, if it's food or clothes, I think I'm the best person to have around when it comes to shopping." Akihiko spoke, as if almost reading the manager's mind.
He smirked slightly, shaking his head in mild amusement. In truth, he'd never thought of Izzy Lucky as the 'wild' sort. Not at all. He had expected the man to be bookish in his off time. Could see him curling up next to the fire with a book and a piece of cake or cup of cocoa.
Yawning, the musician seemed to stretch for a moment before he spoke. "Well, you could always call up your parents and tell them you're manager to the top star of Ohayou. That might win them over just a little. I'd even meet them for you if they'd give you a little more respect for it." Akihiko replied, yawning again.
"Damn, Ruki... you're warm and it's making me sleepy..." the man teased with a grin.
"Ah...well food and clothes. I don't...well Mm....Nikki hates it when I shop so maybe it is best that you go with me." he answered and scratched his head. "In America, I had my Aunt to help me find great clothes but in Japan, it was hard to keep up until I met Nikki at Indie"
He watched Akihiko for a moment then his eyes squinted a little. "Hey, I had my wild moments when I was younger. I wouldn't understand musicians at all if I hadn't some fun in my younger years." He poked at Akihiko's belly playfully.
"Oh...no...I don't think so. My parents have gotten very traditional in their older days. They'd like me to be running the family business even now. Last time I spoke to my father, he asked me when I was coming home to take over and I was disappointing my mother. " he shook his head and laid his head back on the pillow. "It took me a long time to claw up into this world, and follow my own dreams. I'm not giving them up to follow in my family's foot steps even if it means I celebrate my birthdays alone and spend my Xmas on Skype with my Aunt overseas." He never really talked much about those aspects of life but since he had stopped taking care of Chiyou-kun's career he did spend most holidays alone. It wasn't a bad situation in his mind. Just different and maybe a little lonely but it mean he had control of his life. He was happy for the most part.
"I'm warm? No...you're warm. And you warmed me up." his toes played with Akihiko's through the socks then he yawned. "Mmm....I'm a little sleepy too." Ruki gently reached up and stroked the edge of Akihiko's cheek. "Should I sing you a lullaby? Help you sleep?" he teased a little bit and gave Akihiko a little kiss to the tip of his chin.
Nikki wasn't a name that Akihiko really remembered, but then images of the man came to his mind. Not memories really... but images from the DVD.
He'd been the wardrobe designer on Narcissus' end. Probably for Nakai as well.
"Makes me worry about your definition of 'wild moments' as compared to mine." the musician teased with a half smirk. "You just don't strike me as the 'wild' type."
The talk of the family business however...
It saddened the young Koyasu. Not just because Izzy's family had basically disowned him over his decision in life... but because his manager hadn't done anything to deserve that kind of rejection.
From what he was told, and what little he could remember, he himself had basically caused his own downfall in Ohayou. But Izzy had just followed his dreams, while Narcissus had been a spoiled brat searching for unwavering loyalty.
"I don't put too much stock in what my grandfather wants for me to do. It's my life. I live it how I want to. The same should be said for you, Ruki." Akihiko eventually spoke, pulling Izzy even closer to him as he got comfortable, snuggled down against the pillows and mattress.
Reaching one hand over his chest, the musician tilting Izzy's chin so that he could look down into the manager's eyes. "Maybe you should spend holidays with me from now on, ne? It'd be nice not to drift from friend to friend for Christmas for once."
In fact, Christmas was right around the corner for them... so what Narcissus was doing now was practically an open invitation.
Course, it was also an admission that he didn't spend the holidays with family, even if most of what remained of his family did tend to get together at Koyasu Aki's mansion.
Laughing softly, the musician moved his feet so that he grasped one of Izzy's ankles between them playfully. He didn't stop there though because Narcissus then easily maneuvered his right leg, turning his hips so that said leg was draped over Izzy's left and thus nestled comfortably between both of the manager's legs.
It was an effort to pin the man down in a rather playful manner.
"Yes, you're warm. Your body heat, I mean." Akihiko spoke with a smile, catching that hand on the edge of his cheek and turning it and his head so he could lightly kiss the palm. "I didn't think you COULD sing, Ruki." he teased.
"Mm...I used to go out drinking with the guys in the bars and we did cause a little trouble at times. Not as wild as you I know but for me...yes." he grinned thoughtfully. "I'm not so much like that now. I'd rather have cocoa than alcohol most of the time. And if I did have free time, I'd love to read...just relax for awhile or go driving like I use to."
He listened as Akihiko talked about his world and his grandfather. He knew that world. It was very much what Akihiko told him in the first days they met. But the second part, it was the first time he had an offer like that. His eyes looked up into those blues that always too him so deep in the ocean of thoughtful emotions, " I'd like that. Maybe...we could decorate a Christmas tree?" he said softly feeling that space between them become a little more intimate. But he didn't think that things would go any further tonight and maybe he was happy they didn't. These moments of conversation were ones they should have had awhile ago.
Ruki really wasn't worried about not seeing family for either side of their equation because obviously they both had their reasons.
He started to giggle when his ankles were played with causing him to squirm just a little until that leg easily pinned him and soon he settled again. The light restraint tended to bring a calming effect over Ruki's headspace and he wanted to just enjoy that light rub between the two. Settling in to the space he leaned his head so he could watch Akihiko kiss his palm. "Ok...I'm warm. You made me warm. Sing...Oh mm....well I can try to sing you a lullaby. I wrote one a few years ago when I worked with my young stars. You know...to get into the mind set." he laughed, "It's probably not your thing."
Smiling, Akihiko closed his eyes as he once again planted soft kisses on Izzy's palm. "We can decorate a tree if you want to... but I'm getting you drunk in the process. I want to see this 'wild' side." the musician teased, finding the notion of Izzy causing trouble as... well... funny.
Straight laced managers gone wild?
"Gomen... I actually meant to ravage you in this room. Guess my plan backfired, huh?" Akihiko asked softly, fingers entwining with Izzy's own as he spoke. "Sing. I think it would be soothing... certainly interesting and amusing as well."
"Only if you get me drunk on Christmas Egg Nog." he smiled softly closing his eyes again as he felt those kisses upon his fingertips. Just feeling those lips made him sensitive to everything around him. "Maybe you'll get luck to see it. It's been awhile since I've been drunk. Ok maybe tipsy but not drunk" As he remembered the other night with one too many Rum and Honey...drinks with Yuuji giving him all sorts of advice.
"Yes, just a little. but this is nice too." he admitted as he watched those fingers and lightly squeezed back not wanting to let go. But then he was a little surprised when Akihiko wanted to hear the song. "Ah..alright...well mm...It's not your style...so just close your eyes and..mmm...And promise not to laugh to hard. My voice isn't that good." he was a little embarassed because he didn't think Akihiko would want to hear it. But he couldn't really go back on it.
He took a little breath as he remembered back to when he had wrote it for one of his young stars, Mika. It has some of his own thoughts about his life mixed in the lyrics. A bit of sadness, a bit of strength, a bit of hope for a future unknown. His voice wouldn't ever do it justice in his opinion....Only his heart would carry the tune.
Itsumo hitori de aruiteta furikaeru to minna wa tooku
Sore de mo atashi wa aruita sore ga tsuyosa datta
Mou nani mo kowakunai sou tsubuyaite miseru
Itsuka hito wa hitori ni natte omoide no naka ni ikiteku dake
Kodoku sae aishi waratterareru you ni atashi wa tatakaun da
Namida nante misenain da
Itsumo hitori de aruiteta yukusaki ni wa gake ga matteta
Sore de mo atashi wa aruita tsuyosa no shoumei no tame
Fukitsukeru tsuyoi kaze ase de shatsu ga haritsuku
Itsuka wasurete shimaeru nara ikiru koto sore wa tayasui mono
Boukyaku no kanata e to ochite iku nara sore wa nigeru koto darou
Ikita imi sura kieru darou
Kaze wa yagate naideta ase mo kawaite
O-naka ga suite kita na nanika atta kke
Nigiyaka na koe to tomo ni ii nioi ga yattekita
Itsumo hitori de aruiteta minna ga matte ita
Itsuka hito wa hitori ni natte omoide no naka ni ikiteku dake
Sore de mo ii yasuraka na kono kimochi wa sore o nakama to yobun da
Itsuka minna to sugoshita hibi mo wasurete dokoka de ikiteru yo
Sono toki wa mou tsuyoku nanka nai yo
Futsuu no onna no ko no yowasa de namida o kobosu yo
----
I have always walked alone. When I looked back, everyone was faraway
Even so, I kept walking. That was my strength
"I'm not afraid of anything anymore", I muttered to myself
Everyone will be alone someday, living on in memories only
I fight so that I will be able to love and laugh despite of the loneliness
I won't show my tears
I have always walked alone. The cliff was waiting for me ahead
Even so, I kept walking, to prove my strength
The strong wind blew against me. My shirt stuck to me with sweat
If I can forget everything one day, being alive will be so easy
If I fall into the other side of oblivion, that means I am running away
Even the meaning of having lived will disappear
The wind had soon calmed down. My sweat had also dried out
I became hungry. What was that?
A nice smell came together with lively voices
I have always walked alone. Everyone was waiting
Everyone will be alone someday, living on in memories only
Even so, it's fine. I call this peaceful feeling my friend
Someday I will be living somewhere, with the memories of days spent with everyone left behind
At that time I won't be strong anymore
I will just be sobbing like a weak ordinary girl
( Brave Song - Angel Beats
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cYv_LV_xNJA )
"Egg nog it is then." Akihiko agreed as he found himself incredibly comfortable on the pillows... Izzy snuggled up against him... the warm blanket covering their clothed bodies...
The musician laughed softly, "Why would I make fun of an honest attempt? Besides... it's not like you're auditioning or anything... not like Michi-kun did..." yawning again, it seemed that Akihiko was slowly finding himself exhausted...
So, as Izzy began to sing, Narcissus' grasp on the manager's hand slackened more and more... because by the second verse... well... Koyasu Akihiko was fast asleep.
His shortened hair fell oddly across his face, the scar on his head obvious to anyone who might look at him now. Black strands of layered hair, near bangs though longer, fell over his eyes and framed his face, giving the man an absolutely angelic look of peace.
The song wound down to its end and Izzy tilted his head just gazing upon the man the held him lightly. The scar made a small frown crease his soft lips but seeing that peaceful face made him realize that the song had taking Akihiko to a world of dreams. Maybe a world that would bring thoughts of music back to life in the soul of the man.
Looking at such an angelic demeanor made him wish that these moments could last forever. That Akihiko could find some peace within himself and maybe love himself a bit more. Ruki knew that the music Akihiko was looking for was so close by...just a heart beat away Somehow they'd find it together.
He yawned softly and leaned in to gently kiss that angelic face before laying down within those gentle arms and drifting off.
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Posted: Mon Mar 14, 2011 9:06 pm
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~( Lonely ) Mayotta nara~
~( Try again ) Nando datte~
~Yarinaosu koto dekiru kara~
He hadn't been able to say a word before Naoko went into the living room.
Standing there, back against the wall, Ryu just stared in the direction the blond had left.
He felt like a fool. Naoko needed him. Shouldn't he have been able to at least say something to comfort him?
Naoko was right, though...he was afraid. Afraid of a lot of things. Afraid of Naoko himself. Afraid of what might become of Naoko. Afraid of what he might become...without Naoko.
The way things were going...it seemed they were drifting further apart instead of closer together, like Ryu had hoped and wanted.
Opening the bedroom door, the violinist went in and dressed himself in simple black. All black, down to the shoes, coat, and hat. He just felt...solemn...today.
Heading to the living room, Ryu realized he was hardly able to look at the pianist. Staring at his shoes instead, he asked, "Ready to go?"
~( I’m here )~ Soba ni iru wa~
~( Believe me ) Osorenai de~
~Shinjiau koto....~
~FOR YOU~
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Posted: Mon Mar 14, 2011 9:11 pm
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He was sitting in a large chair, legs curled up to his chest, arms hugging his knees. Amber eyes looked up at Ryu, saw the man's avoiding gaze, and he looked away.
"Ye...yeah..." Naoko whispered, standing up.
He'd gotten rid of Yumi's new found 'toy' while his akuma was dressing.
Standing, the pianist headed to the door, slipping on the same shoes he'd worn the night before. He was still wearing the clothes from the other day as well... because he simply didn't feel like changing.
Once outside, Naoko stepped away, letting Ryu lead the way to the car. Bodyguards were already there to shadow them.
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Posted: Mon Mar 14, 2011 9:20 pm
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~( Lonely ) Mayotta nara~
~( Try again ) Nando datte~
~Yarinaosu koto dekiru kara~
Quietly, the vocalist made his way to his car, Naoko getting in the passenger seat. Talking wasn't really at the top of his list at the moment. Frankly, he had no idea what to say, much less how to say it. The whole situation just felt awkward now. By this point, he was certain he needed a therapist nearly as much as Naoko.
The whole way to the doctor, the both of them were painfully silent. The air in the car even seemed uncomfortably heavy between the two.
Once they arrived at the office, Ryu led the blond right in and asked the receptionist at the desk to see Dr. Fuuma.
"I'm sorry, he's all booked for the day." she replied, and Ryu took off his hat, looking her dead in the eye.
"Tell him Minamoto Ryu is here to see him. It's an emergency. He'll make time."
~( I’m here )~ Soba ni iru wa~
~( Believe me ) Osorenai de~
~Shinjiau koto....~
~FOR YOU~
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Posted: Mon Mar 14, 2011 9:42 pm
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Nezumi had let himself drift into a near-daydream state, his lust getting the better of him as he full-on straddled Hiroki's hips, kissing the man over and over again. How Hiroki wasn't woken up by this was beyond the manager, but he was too into what he was doing to care.
He wanted Hiroki Asato....and he wanted him right the hell now!
At least up to the point where he was unbuttoning his own shirt and the doorbell rang!
Covering his mouth to hide the gasp he gave, Nezumi sat bolt upright atop his boss, then slid off of him as quickly and gently as he could, being quiet as a mouse the whole time. Rushing into the kitchen, he whipped out a frying pan, eggs, and butter....making to look like he had been about to prepare breakfast already before rushing to the door and answering it for Hiroki.
Hair disheveled, shirt unbuttoned to the chest, and a blazing blush on the little brunette's face certainly gave the appearance of something being a bit...off, but he smiled and bowed immediately upon seeing Koyasu-sama.
"Ohayou gozaimasu, sir." he greeted, feeling awkward as could be. "Um...come right in. Hiroki-san is, um...resting...on the couch. I was just here assisting him." he explained, convincingly enough. Sort of.
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Posted: Mon Mar 14, 2011 9:52 pm
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~( Lonely ) Mayotta nara~
~( Try again ) Nando datte~
~Yarinaosu koto dekiru kara~
"He's a psychotherapist who also works in psychiatry. He can prescribe medications, help you with therapies, and, if need be, yes....put you in a hospital." Ryu explained as they waited, the clock ticking on the wall in the quiet office seeming loud as chimes.
"I don't know what he'll do, Naoko, but whatever he does...it's what has to be done. I used to come see him...for a long time. Shortly after I became a vocalist, actually. I had...a lot of problems. Stuff I never got over after my family's death. He helped me. He saved me from my own mind. I think he's the best around, and he can help you, so just...don't worry, ok?" the violinist tried to soothe, speaking in a more comforting tone.
Reaching out, he pulled Naoko close, kissing the top of his head.
If they could just make it through...just push through this, somehow...then surely, surely they could just soar free from then on.
"The doctor will see you now." the receptionist came back and sat down at her desk.
Holding the pianist's hand, Ryu gave a reassuring smile.
"Come on..." he said, leading Naoko into Dr. Fuuma's office.
~( I’m here )~ Soba ni iru wa~
~( Believe me ) Osorenai de~
~Shinjiau koto....~
~FOR YOU~
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Posted: Mon Mar 14, 2011 9:56 pm
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