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 Posted: Thu Sep 20, 2007 2:18 am
Today is just one of those days.
The kind of day where I'm happy, sad, angry, resentful, joyous, regretful. I stare off into the empty movie parking lot, at this black desert, and wondering where I went wrong?
Am I at fault for the breakup? Am I the reason we didn't work out? I truly don't believe so in my opinion, but I wonder if maybe the one time, THE ONLY time I ever lost my temper with her, caused it.
For nine months, I never yelled at her in an angry tone, I never once bitched at her, I never hurt her in any way. Then one day, I just lost it. She skipped going to my grandmother's birthday, so she could go to work for three hours. It really sent me over the edge and I lost it with her. I think I broke her trust with me that day and it was just all down hill from there.
It wasn't just me, was it? It felt like she gave up on me. I don't truly know.
I want her back, I miss her, I miss us, but it just wont happen. My friends have helped me realize this and I thank them.
I want to slam my face into a wall, become an ugly being in which no one would take to. Twisted, destroyed, alone. I could read and watch movies day by day, with no one to cause me any trouble. Freedom from all, no pain, no disappointment from others.
Yet, I know I need people more than I want. Without them, I fail. They carry me farther than any of them will know. Without my friends I am nothing. Without my family, I am not who I am.
Ah, self realization. Nice to meet you.
I think I'll be going to college in Denver, Colorado next year. Is there anyone in here that would by chance, live there?
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Posted: Thu Sep 20, 2007 1:53 pm
*kicks*
Life would be so much easier if you were just in it for a peice of a**.
;___________; <3
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Posted: Thu Sep 20, 2007 2:25 pm
IY_and_MCR *kicks* Life would be so much easier if you were just in it for a peice of a**. ;___________; <3 If I wanted a "piece of a**", I could have it in an instant. I'm not try to show off, I'm just telling the truth. I really could. But unlike most guys, I've never wanted just a "piece of a**" to get me by. That's not what I want at all, I need a relationship, more than a sexual release...
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Posted: Thu Sep 20, 2007 2:40 pm
Macabre_Cogitation IY_and_MCR *kicks* Life would be so much easier if you were just in it for a peice of a**. ;___________; <3 If I wanted a "piece of a**", I could have it in an instant. I'm not try to show off, I'm just telling the truth. I really could. But unlike most guys, I've never wanted just a "piece of a**" to get me by. That's not what I want at all, I need a relationship, more than a sexual release... (I hope you'd ask rex first *had to*) I know you do. Why'd you have to go and be a good person? D<
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Posted: Thu Sep 20, 2007 9:21 pm
IY_and_MCR Macabre_Cogitation IY_and_MCR *kicks* Life would be so much easier if you were just in it for a peice of a**. ;___________; <3 If I wanted a "piece of a**", I could have it in an instant. I'm not try to show off, I'm just telling the truth. I really could. But unlike most guys, I've never wanted just a "piece of a**" to get me by. That's not what I want at all, I need a relationship, more than a sexual release... (I hope you'd ask rex first *had to*) I know you do. Why'd you have to go and be a good person? D< If it makes you feel any better, i am far from being a nice person.
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Posted: Thu Sep 20, 2007 10:38 pm
zz1000zz IY_and_MCR Macabre_Cogitation IY_and_MCR *kicks* Life would be so much easier if you were just in it for a peice of a**. ;___________; <3 If I wanted a "piece of a**", I could have it in an instant. I'm not try to show off, I'm just telling the truth. I really could. But unlike most guys, I've never wanted just a "piece of a**" to get me by. That's not what I want at all, I need a relationship, more than a sexual release... (I hope you'd ask rex first *had to*) I know you do. Why'd you have to go and be a good person? D< If it makes you feel any better, i am far from being a nice person. Oddly enough, it sure does. I don't know why I had to "go and be a good person", it's just the way I am in life. Dunno...sometimes it sucks, badly, but overall I'm happy being me. I guess.... Lol, ask Rex first? I'll keep that in mind... biggrin
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Posted: Thu Sep 20, 2007 11:34 pm
You know what? People suck. I have been dropping hints for three hours to every person who talked to me, but nobody caught on.
I got in a fight today. I won. It was fun. You guys are boring.
Have a good day!
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Posted: Fri Sep 21, 2007 5:19 pm
I find my new approach to situations is really helping my mood. I am actually much happier, though apparently the people around me are the exact opposite.
Fun!
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Posted: Fri Sep 21, 2007 5:54 pm
Nothing more fun than the misery of others!
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Posted: Fri Sep 21, 2007 6:44 pm
I am like an emotional vampire. I thrive by making others suffer.
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Posted: Sat Sep 22, 2007 10:35 pm
IY_and_MCR Nothing more fun than the misery of others! Indeed!
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Posted: Wed Sep 26, 2007 10:11 am
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Posted: Wed Sep 26, 2007 10:14 pm
Yes it is. Feed it quarters and it will chat.
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Posted: Thu Sep 27, 2007 1:15 am
*inserts eight quarters*
What does it say now!?
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Posted: Thu Sep 27, 2007 8:21 am
Macabre_Cogitation *inserts eight quarters* What does it say now!? IT SAYS YOUR MOM
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