The Path to Sin (Ikken Isshu + Griselda Banks)

[Griselda Banks]

((It is hard to make a sequel as amazing as the first one, so I wouldn't be too surprised at that. One thing I've always liked about the Myst games is how the sense of discovery and exploration never grows old in the sequels, because you're always going to new places that have never been seen before, so there's never a chance for a place to grow stale. Still, I wouldn't be terribly bummed if Bioshock 2 isn't very tense, because the first game never really came across to me as that creepy anyway. Of course, this comes after playing some of Penumbra, which freaked me out of my skin.))

With difficulty, Eddora managed to dig her toes in and keep from throwing herself on top of her long-absent guardian. Unable to speak for the multitude of emotions welling up inside her throat, at first she could do no more than stand there and drink in the sight of him - or, well, as much of him as she could see in the sporadic bursts of lightning. She didn't know what to do first - hug him within an inch of his life, laugh and dance around like an idiot, or slap him across the face till he couldn't tell up from down. She ended up with a sort of compromise.

"You idiot!" she cried, but she sounded more overjoyed than stern. "You never stopped being my guardian! You didn't think I'd let you off the hook that easy, did you?" She paused long enough to glance around at the others, unable to keep a grin off her face. He was back, he was back! She hadn't even registered Calaman's grave tone of voice.

Venez stood gaping at Calaman like a dead fish, and Rogan came strolling back towards them after continuing on the path a short distance. "I thought I remembered an inn around here, and sure enough, it's just up that way." He jabbed a thumb over his shoulder. "Should be a quieter place to catch up." He gave Calaman a mildly curious look, but seemed to be taking his sudden appearance in stride.

"Right." Ed grabbed Calaman by the ear and began to drag him up the path towards the inn. "I swear, Cal, I'm not letting you out of my sight again for a minute! Sheesh, I turn my back for a second, and...." Abruptly she fell silent, let go of his ear, and crushed him to her side with one arm as they walked.

((Well, you know what the solution to that is, right? Just come up with some extra facet to their personality! Yeah, easier said than done rolleyes ))  

[Ikken Isshu]

((Bwa ha ha. Not for me, the master of pulling extra stuff out of thin air.))

Calaman smiled weakly at Ed's excitement, giving little hint of the uneasiness he felt at... well, too many things to name. When Rogan presented himself, Calaman returned the mildly curious look.

"Rogan's still accompanying us? On the Thunder Plains? Come to think of it, how long have I been - er - gone?"

"Few days," Aer said, looking off where Rogan had pointed.

"That's all? I could have sw..." Calaman sighed. "Well. Don't let me hold us up."

"You'd better explain yourself sometime in the next fast," Aer said, "or else Lady Ed will have an aneurysm, and I'll go batty trying to figure out the specifics of what happened to you. And that little light show you just put on for us."

"Can we go?" Jalisat put in loudly. "I'm wet."  

[Griselda Banks]

((Lol, I look forward to this razz ))

"Yeah, come on, no dawdling, you guys!" Eddora called cheerfully to her guardians as she hurried up the path towards the inn that emerged from the gloom as they drew nearer. She kept Calaman close to her, as if afraid that he would disappear again if she stopped touching him. All her irritation from before - from the past several days, in fact - seemed to be washing away in the rain. She hadn't really realized how much she had missed Calaman until she had seen him again. But he had been her first guardian, the only one she'd chosen rather than been forced to accept. He was the one she'd chosen to come with her all the way to Zanarkand.

Oh. She shouldn't have thought of that.

With effort, Ed pushed that thought to the side, as she had done a million times before, ever since she had chosen this path, and by the time she pushed the door of the inn open, her happiness was firmly back in place.

The innkeeper hurried forward with a stack of towels and a low bow for each of them, then ushered them to chairs in front of the fire where they could dry off. When he'd bustled off to make sure there were enough rooms prepared for such a large party, Ed quickly finished wringing out her hair and left it down to dry faster. Then she turned to Calaman, and everyone's eyes turned to him as well. Ed swallowed, wondering what to ask first. The questions all piled up behind her tongue, but all she could manage to get out was, "So?"  

[Ikken Isshu]

Jalisat chose to forgo a chair in favor of sitting on the floor, far too close to the fireplace. Thankfully he faced the fire instead of paying attention to the discussion; otherwise, his clothes might catch fire without him even noticing.

"You might not be able to take a lot of this on faith," Calaman said to his hands, which still glistened with a thin sheen of rainwater. He wiped them on his (also damp) trousers.

It suddenly struck him as odd, somehow, that he'd come back looking exactly the same as when he'd left. His story might have more credence if he'd come back marked somehow. An arcane brand, maybe. Some sort of tattoo. Hell, a fancy uniform or a glowing aura.

Calaman shook his head slightly. It didn't become him, all this introspection.

"Ah - well. Where to start?"

"The useful part," Aer suggested, and his tone, at least, was sincere. Calaman tried very hard to hear the sarcasm and triteness, but oddly enough, it just wasn't there.

"Fair enough, mage. Let me see... Yevon." He paused, though he wasn't sure why. "I met a - thing. I guess the most accurate term for him would be 'Aeon', but he's not like Valefor or Ifrit." He looked over at Ed and mentally filled in the blanks. "Or Ixion. He was - He said he was a Guardian. Archa's Guardian. I guess that must mean he's the previous Final Aeon, but..."

"Lady Archa," Jalisat interrupted, looking over his shoulder. He was smiling while he showed off his historical knowledge, but his brow was furrowed in confusion. "Then it would be... I don't remember his name, but he was a white mage, wasn't he?"

"A hybrid of sorts," Aer said. "From what I know, he started out as a white mage, but he preferred to eschew specialties. He was more of a... scholar. An arcane scholar, rather than a warrior, but no more specific than that. I'd wager he knew a little bit of magic that was neither white nor black."

"Whatever he knew back then," Calaman said dismissively, "he knows a sight more now. He controls some kind of private domain. It's like a tiny little world apart from Spira, dark and isolated, but totally under his control. I think it's connected to the Farplane, somehow. I can't think of anyplace else that would have such - strange characteristics. It was like I was caged inside his mind. Like I said, I can't think of anywhere on Spira it might have been. Anyway, it's pointless speculating on it without all the facts, isn't it? He - taught me. He wanted to train me, and he did, but his plans, his intentions, were not in line with the pilgrimage. Some of the things he said..."

"Heresy?" Aer suggested.

"I don't even think that word describes it," Calaman said. "Not from a being like him. He wants to - well, he believes - that doesn't sound right, look, the point is, remember, he was Guardian to the last High Summoner. What he wanted me to believe was that Yevon is some kind of - " Demon, devil, fiend? " - malevolent being, its origins unknown, and that it somehow sustains itself by maintaining the status quo."

"That's a little too vague to be useful, I think," the black mage tried to say with as little rudeness as possible.

"What I mean is... He thinks Yevon is evil."

"Simple enough."

"And he believes that the continuing cycle of Sin's destruction and rebirth by Summoners is, somehow, what keeps Yevon ali - well, maybe not alive, but you get the meaning."

"So," Aer said, "What about Sin? What does this mysterious not-quite-dead Guardian-Aeon think about Sin?"

"Sin is but a tool of a greater force - Yevon, of course. Striking Sin down, according to Pheos, serves no purpose but to perpetuate the cycle. Certainly the Summoners save lives by completing the pilgrimage, that much is indisputable. The Calms are by no means a bad thing. But he believes that he can end the cycle permanently."

"The Eternal Calm." Aer's eyes grew distant, and Calaman's gaze snapped to the black mage, seeing that Aer's mind had gone somewhere else. Curious, but not of pressing importance.

"Achieved not by conventional means - defeating Sin - but by seeing beyond the tool, and striking down the one who holds it."

"So it is to be heresy after all," Aer said.

Calaman sighed. "I don't know if it is that simple. What kind of Guardian would just make up - "

"But how do you know everything he told you is true?" Aer said simply. "You disappeared in a Cloister, in the midst of a pilgrimage fraught with unprecedented complications. Aeons attacking summoners. Bizarre, disturbing tests administered by - apparently - the Fayth themselves. Could it not have been another such test? The way I see it, it's probable that you passed the test by defying the thing, whoever or whatever it may have been, if it was even real."

"It was real," Calaman said in what was almost a growl. Aer drew back slightly. It had been a while since the bloody-minded boy had turned his aggression on the mage, but something about him was a little more intimidating, now. "I can show you at least one piece of proof that I speak the truth. What he trained me in was magic. As you said, he knows a great deal of both black and white magic, and I learned a lot of it from him. I doubt I could match you in wind magic, mage, but that is probably the only element with which you can best me."

Aer stared at the boy. "You are mad," he said, bemused.

Calaman closed his eyes, and the flames in the fireplace seemed to shudder - though that could have been imagination, coupled with the uncertain lighting. "Aer, you reacted to my mention of the Eternal Calm, before. I wasn't looking into your mind at the time, out of respect, so tell me, which memory had that effect on you - the memory of your wife, or that of your son?"

"He's married?" Jalisat blurted out. "I thought he was after Lady Ed!"

Aer looked like he was going to throw up. After a moment, Calaman sighed.

"I'm sorry, Aer. That was... I'm sorry."

Aer rose to his feet. For once, he looked completely out of sorts, like a lost child. No smart remarks for the time being, then. "I'm - We sh..." He trailed off, obviously searching for something to say. Then, without explanation, he just left the inn.

Calaman had his head in his hands. "There's no way I'm going to avoid paying for that," he muttered, and fell silent. It quickly became apparent that he wasn't going to say anything else without prompting.

((And once again, I held a long-arse conversation with myself, disregarding the other characters... feel free to interject, and I/Calaman/whoever is addressed will respond. We can pretend the conversation is occurring in the right order, lol.

Anyway, here's another glimpse of why Aer didn't see anyone in the Farplane, but more importantly, Calaman is getting some neat character development while disturbing everyone with his newfound powers and knowledge. xd ))  

[Ikken Isshu]

((Just read a treasure trove of explanations about FFX and its ending, which has allowed me to fill in a lot of holes in my part of the story that I previously left open due to lack of concrete knowledge. Mainly these holes are all to do with the nature and plans of Pheos, though they will help me round out just about every single current plotline of mine, which makes this a bit easier. razz

...I also found out that it is "impossible to die in" the battle with Yu Yevon "short of self-incapacitation", which makes me very depressed because I seem to remember thinking that battle was very harrowing... It probably would've ruined the effect for me if I'd known it was impossible to lose. stare (Edit: Actually, I was thinking of the battle with Yunalesca, which was very harrowing, and whichIi have been confusing with Yu Yevon this entire time, which makes me very displeased with myself. More on this later. Note that this was added to the post after writing the entire thing, so it kind of sort of belongs at the end... except that it relates to this particular paragraph. Bah.)

I'll be revising some of my ideas for what was *going* to happen, but nothing that's already happened should change, because it actually all fits quite well. Mostly. Sort of.

The only thing I should clarify, mainly for myself:

From what I've read, the nature of Sin:

Yu Yevon is what's left of the ancient ruler of Zanarkand, who is responsible for most of this nonsense. All that is left of him now is a single-minded entity devoted only to using the power of the Final Aeon, whoever that may be at the moment, to rebuild Sin's body after its destruction. As far as I can tell, that's all Yu Yevon really does, other than killing the summoner, since Sin itself has a very limited consciousness all on its own, and doesn't need any interaction to do what it's "programmed" to do, which is to attack large, developed areas. So the very simple way to put it:

Yu Yevon is the entity responsible for recreating Sin after its destruction.

The Final Aeon serves the purposes of A) destroying Sin, and B) acting as its power source during its reconstruction and probably afterward, as well. I got an image of the Final Aeon serving as a kind of 'battery' that runs Sin from the moment it is born to the moment it is destroyed and a new Final Aeon steps in to act as a new battery. It also must be destroyed as a part of destroying Sin, but this is not so much a 'purpose' as a slightly inconvenient detail (after all, how much easier would it be for Yu Yevon to reconstruct the armor of Sin if he could do it with the power of two Final Aeons at once? And how powerful would Sin be if it were running off of te power of two Final Aeons?)

Sin is A) a being whose purpose is to attack large and well-developed areas, B) an armor to defend Yu Yevon and its power source, the Final Aeon.

And this part I'm sure you already know quite well, but just to round everything off:

Once a summoner finishes the pilgrimage in Zanarkand, where Yu Yevon's daughter Yunalesca remains (for some reason), Yunalesca judges the summoner worthy of receiving the Final Aeon. More than one person in Zanarkand knew how to turn people into Fayth, but only Yunalesca (and, presumably, Yu Yevon, since I assume he taught it to her) knew how to create something as strong as the Final Aeon out of a person, which is why a summoner needs Yunalesca's power to attain the Final Aeon. Once Yunalesca gives the summoner the Aeon, the rest is simple enough: The Aeon is used to destroy Sin (and the previous Aeon), and then Yu Yevon immediately seizes control of the Aeon, the trauma of which kills the Summoner, and then he commences the reconstruction of Sin. Once Sin has grown strong enough to start busting up cities again, the pilgrimages begin anew and eventually someone gets Yunalesca to give them another Final Aeon, and so on.

That's most of what I've gleaned, and for the most part, it's all that's important to my stuff. There's quite a lot more history, mostly about the Church and the Machina War, that I'm still trying to sort out, but I don't think most of it is important, since we're not really playing with the history of FFX here as much as the metaphysics. The way we're doing this, the *way* things work is more important than *how* they got that way.

*pause* And I totally just realized I made a huge mistake. Uh... Well, it's a bit late to go back and fix it now, so, uh... Oh, wow.

Okay, so... Oh, jeez. Um. So apparently... How to fix this. I guess it doesn't really matter, it was just for drama anyway, but it makes me sad that an entire awesome flashback sequence is now totally wrong. sad Oh, well.

Okay, since Yunalesca only attacked Yuna in the game because Yuna was Totally Ruining Everything, it doesn't really make sense for Yunalesca to have attacked Lady Archa, who was trying to do the pilgrimage Totally According To The Evil Plan. So... Oh, Lord. That whole sequence of events doesn't make sense anymore. Sigh. Okay, well, pretend that sequence of events *never happened*, and to make up for the lost drama, I'll write *more* drama that makes *sense* now that I know how the Final Summoning and all that nonsense is *actually supposed to go*. For now, just forget everything you read about Archa's death, and anything Pheos may have said about the circumstances regarding her death, unless he said plainly that it was false. (Just remembered that the flashback was a dream that he said plainly was false. Well...)

ANYWAY, this is what happens when you don't do your homework. gonk I'll figure out the previous mistakes, but I don't think they'll mess with the storyline. Most of this is going to be semantic nonsense anyway. Most of it should turn out something like "Well, I said 'A' happened, but actually, 'B' happened... and none of it impacts the current storyline the least bit." ))  

[Ikken Isshu]

((And after this, I promise I will leave it alone until you can respond. It's just that I keep thinking about things and clarifying things in my mind. Hopefully this part isn't too blunt, but I was considering the state that Yevon might be in, not to mention the effects his actions would have on the Final Aeon itself.

My idea was that immediately after the destruction of Sin, Yevon would be a practically mindless entity with only enough life and thought to devote to rebuilding Sin. Once Sin is complete, though, a lot of his 'resources', as it were, would free up, letting him grow somewhat closer to sentience and consciousness. A similar effect would be had on the Aeon itself, since in the beginning of the cycle, its power would be heavily drained because of the reconstruction of Sin, while later, it would only be used to power Sin's movements.

Not that this is particularly important, but it was fun to think about. >_>))

Consciousness returns again. So... slowly. Power oscillates. One moment, he is in control. The next, I awaken, but my task is complete for the moment, and I have no duty but to myself... to remain. To remain, and to remember. Sometimes I wonder... What has the world become? What have I become? What have I done to... everything? But I know the answer to all of those questions. Bevelle was my enemy, and I have made all the world into a single faction, unified... together. That alone justifies me. Beyond that, everything is sophistry.

I see you.

Ah. He maintains a self-awareness. The cycle is not yet nearing its end, then?

You speak of the pilgrimage? The most promising summoners are all in the vicinity of Guadosalam. Some have passed it, some have yet to reach it. One is in Bevelle, but he will not be leaving for some time. He is a strange one. Not a bad man, but strange. I do not think he will be the one, though.

Well? Have you discovered the way to defeat me yet?

Another summoner... she has a young Guardian who intrigues me. He is... different. He has become something that I do not think even you could have anticipated. And the way things are going, I think she will be the High Summoner... and he will be the Final Aeon. I can't predict what will happen then, but I plan to shape events in my favor. Short of a miracle - or a calamity - your days are numbered.

Your time is running out, enemy mine.

I can't tell if you are mocking me or if you truly respect me as an adversary.

I have no adversaries. I threw away alignments long ago. All I have now is purpose. One purpose, which I continually fulfill. You have a purpose, too, and you have fulfilled it very well these past years. It will soon come to an end, though, and then there will be another, like yourself.

Silence. The ghost felt something - a sense of subtle realization, and mild regret.

I have not gone about this in the best way, have I?

I can think of only one way you might succeed in your folly, and it may be too late now. There is yet hope, as you see it, though. Forever is a long time, after all. Even I will admit that few things are eternal, and most of those are false. Sooner or later, there will be another who sees something the rest of the world does not. Or perhaps there will be an anomaly, a mistake or an aberration in my designs. I can admit that my designs are likely far from perfect.

You haven't spoken thus in all the time I've known you, devil.

You have been sustaining me a long time, enemy mine. I have gained much strength. When the cycle reaches its peak, the wheel will turn again, and I will once again be cast into darkness, alive enough only to fulfill my purpose.

If we could have met under different circumstances...

...If such were possible, we would shake the world.

We still might. Sleep, now. I don't need you interfering with me this late in the game, when so much is at stake.

You think you understand everything?

I understand very little in terms of history, devil. But I don't need to know how this started to decide how it will end. I already know much of your nature - your history is not important to me.

And that is why you will fail, enemy mine. In all endeavours to break a cycle, men must study the past, lest it repeat itself. You seek to break a cycle when you do not even perceive it in its entirety. How can you stop it from repeating when you don't know where it began?

Be silent, devil. Your insistence that I cannot succeed is proof enough that I am close to success - if I were really so far from the truth, you would simply let me blunder my way into failure. Now, sleep, before I lose my patience.

You can't touch me as we are now. But I have no wish to agitate you further. I will sleep - though I am strong, now. I will awake again soon, when it is time for you to die.  

[Griselda Banks]

(( eek Guess the Ik-ster is back, huh? I come on and see no fewer than three posts?! *keels over backwards* razz Awesome. I don't really have much to say in response to all that stuff, because a lot of how Sin works in terms of Yu Yevon and the Final Aeon and all that is shrouded in mystery, and also because my characters don't really need to know anything about that at the moment razz But it should prove interesting later on.))

For a long time, Eddora listened with no response except for a loud snort at the thought of Yevon being evil. She was too busy trying to follow everything Calaman was saying, and trying not to feel stupid when he and Aer were swiftly carrying on the conversation as though all this new information didn't threaten the very foundation of their whole lives - if it was true. Venez sat staring at Calaman with even more confusion, still absently wringing out her skirts, but Rogan looked almost bored as he lounged in a chair across from her. No - he was asleep. What an idiot.

But when Calaman mentioned Aer having a wife, Ed leapt to her feet with a strangled sound escaping her throat. She stared at him, but he didn't look at her. He barely seemed to see any of them, and without the slightest acknowledgement or explanation, he turned and walked back out into the rain. For a moment, Ed was tempted to follow him - run him down, slam him up against a wall, and demand to know whether it was true and what he thought he was doing...but no. There were other things she had to make sure of first.

Turning back to Calaman, Ed tried to pick up the trailing ends of her thoughts. She sank slowly back down into her chair, and she felt as though a rift had opened between herself and her guardian in the time he'd been gone. Before, it had just been a matter of distance, but even though he was here now, just within reach...she realized that she didn't understand him anymore. She hadn't realized it at first, so happy had she been to see him at last. The things he said made him seem so much older than he really was. So much older than she was. There was something hard, almost bitter, in the way he'd spoken to Aer, especially at the end. Calaman had never been overly warm, but....

No, she mustn't think like this. Whatever might have happened to him in their separation, whatever he might have seen, learned, or experienced, he was still her guardian. Still her friend. And she would treat him as such, even when she didn't understand him anymore. He and Aer were both her guardians, and she'd find a way to get to the bottom of this whole thing and smooth it over for all involved if it took her the rest of the trip to Zanarkand. They never seemed to mention this part in summoner training, but that was a summoner's duty - to keep the party together, no matter what they went through along the way.

After a long silence had elapsed in which the only sounds were the grumblings of thunder, the crackling of the fire, and Rogan's soft snores, Ed made an attempt at her usual brusque manner and rubbed her temples with a gusty sigh. "Okay, wait. Go back to the part about Archa's guardian being the Final Aeon. The 'previous Final Aeon'? What are you talking about? When we get to Zanarkand, the fayth for the Final Summoning is there.... What are you saying?" As she spoke, she felt as though some dreadful revelation loomed over her shoulder, just out of sight. She was afraid of facing up to it, but as the Final Summoning was the ultimate goal of her life, she felt that this was vital to understand before they moved on to the rest.

((Thinking about it now...were you meaning to let that slip here? 'Cause you know, basically all the summoners in the whole history of Spira don't find out the true nature of the Final Aeon until they reach Zanarkand and Yunalesca tells them. mrgreen ))  

[Ikken Isshu]

((We do have the odd juxtaposition of the "truth" and what everybody in Spira is *supposed* to believe, eh? Which is even harder when I don't have a perfect grasp of the "truth"... What I *think* is the general opinion, is that at Zanarkand, the Summoner obtains the Final Aeon, and then uses it to kill Sin; three possibilities as to what they believe happens next.

A) The Final Aeon will destroy itself in the final attack, using all of its power to kill Sin. When the Aeon is destroyed, the trauma of losing the link to his/her Aeon will also kill the Summoner. Not likely to be believable to our party now, since (apparently) the Final Aeon is still around somewhere.

B) The Summoner attains some kind of spiritual ascension during the Final Summoning, and goes to Heaven/Nirvana/whatever works.

C) The strain/exertion/whatever of summoning the Final Aeon kills the Summoner.

Either way, they have to know/believe that something kills or incapacitates or otherwise removes the High Summoner from the game, since High Summoners never come back. And, of course, this is far from a perfect theory, so feel free to correct me if something is glaringly wrong.

On the subject of a Guardian being the Final Aeon... That was a slip-up, but it had to come up sooner or later, after all the babbling Pheos did. razz Well, so long as it doesn't get out to the general public, it shouldn't mess with canon.))

Calaman shook his head without looking up.

"He never explained some things in depth, but a lot of it was easy enough to piece together - in context, of course. There's always the possibility that all of it was bollocks, and I'll be the first to say I think he was more than capable of lying through his teeth. But there was too much there that rang true. Well, I'm sorry. Your question. I don't know what exactly is supposed to happen in Zanarkand. Too much has been thrown into doubt for me to guess at most of it. But the Final Aeon... if I'm right, then I think... It's not just another, more powerful Aeon, obtained by reaching and praying to the Fayth. This man, this... Final Aeon, said that he had been Guardian to Archa. And he said... or did he say it? I can't remember. But it was obvious from the way he spoke. He had been her lover." He sighed loudly and looked like he wanted to curse. "I don't know, maybe he just couldn't accept that Archa was gone, and that's why he thinks Yevon is evil. He never did adequately explain his beliefs about Yevon, anyway. There was always some half-hidden truth just out of grasp, and Yevon's at the core of it. Anyway... I'm rambling again. Ed... Lady Eddora."

He looked up, and tried to produce a bit of his old childish charm, if it could be called that, in a half-grin.

"I don't know the specifics. He's mad, now, that much is beyond question, and I don't know if he was always mad or if what he's become is the reason for it. But it seems Archa had to make one of her own Guardians into her Final Aeon."

~

Aer leaned against the outside of the inn. The eaves would have shielded him from the worst of the rain, were it not for the wind blowing it almost horizontally against the face of the building, and thus, Aer himself. The wind mage might have used his magic to divert the rain, if he'd been more than half-aware of it.

Thrice-damned pilgrimage.

He had almost succeeded in forgetting them. He had almost convinced himself that they didn't matter anymore, that he didn't owe them anything. Calaman's disappearance had struck an unpleasantly familiar chord, but it hadn't been the same at all. He had been able to tell himself that Calaman would return, it wasn't the same at all, he didn't need to remember anything. Leave the past in the past.

And then they'd visited the Farplane, and the silence, the emptiness of it, had brought the loss back to him. They weren't gone. They were out there, somewhere, Unsent, still drowning after all these years, and he couldn't do a thing about it.

...If they had drowned. Sin made that possibility... debatable.

Aer d'Mors, the aloof, carefree, noble, romance-minded black mage... The perfect mask had cracked in the Farplane, and Calaman, Calaman, had somehow wedged Aer's dead wife and child in between that crack and pried the mask wide open.

But it wasn't really a mask anymore, was it? He'd played the part of the well-intentioned but incurably d**k-headed nobleman for so long that it had settled about him like a second skin. What did it matter if he kept playing?

What did it matter?

What did it...?

Slowly he sank down against the wall until he was sitting in the mud, and stopped trying to tell himself that it was only rain running down his face.

~

It seemed he'd been there for a long time; he became aware, gradually, of someone standing out in the rain. A child, by his height. His eyes gleamed golden in the light from the inn's windows. Aer pushed himself to his feet and frowned.

"Boy," he called. "What are you doing out in the rain? Do your parents know where you are? Come here, in from the wet. The innkeeper will give you something to eat and you can sit by the fire and warm up."

The child came closer; he stepped under the eaves, and Aer realized then that the rain had stopped blowing around and was coming straight down, meaning it wasn't pissing down on them anymore.

"What are you doing out - "

"I heard you're in love with her," the little boy said, looking up at him. The boy was Al Bhed, or at least he looked the part. His blindingly bright blue eyes put Aer in mind of... something. He wasn't sure what.

Then the boy's words came through.

"What?" Aer said.

"The woman inside, the summoner. I heard you're in love with her."

Aer scowled. "I don't know where you came from, boy, but you shouldn't mess around in other peoples' business. Look, just go inside, will you? I'm busy angsting out here and I'd really rather be alone."

"Even if you have a chance to talk to her?" The little boy pointed out into the darkness. Aer frowned again, and squinted - and his breath hitched.

"Tierris," she said, smiling.

I had wondered why his mind was so inscrutable, someone nearby was whispering, as if they didn't know Aer could hear them. Trust a fool to ruin a foolproof plan.

"She's going to die too, you know," the woman said. "And she won't be Sent either. Calaman could help with that, but he's too stubborn to accept that Yevon's religion is a lie. Take this, Tierris, and be sure to use it before you move on to Macalania. Your Summoner will be grateful, though it won't help a bit in the long run. You could call it the fruit of my father's labors. Too bad we were never able to catch up to him, you know?"

She drew back her arm and tossed something to him; he caught it instinctively. It was a sphere, slightly bigger than his fist. His stomach turned over, memories unearthed. But he never got a chance to decide whether he wanted to argue, question, or run weeping into the apparition's arms, because that was the precise moment they both decided to vanish, and he was left standing there, a sphere of unknown purpose clutched in his hand, the rain once again blowing straight into his face.

Lightning flashed in the middle-distance, and Aer looked down at the sphere in his hand. The fruit of her father's labors? He didn't see how this could be related to the... Well. If it was anything like the ones he remembered, it could be activated by -

He barely thought it and the sphere illuminated. A powerful urge flowed through Aer, and he could feel that it came from the sphere; it made no attempt to hide its origin.

Smash it, the urge said. Smash it against the ground, the side of the building, my own skull, anything. Smash it!

Swallowing his uncertainty, Aer found a stone on the ground. He knelt, placed the sphere against the stone, raised it, and brought it down.

The sphere shattered; it must have been hollow, to break so easily and so completely. But the glass itself was no longer important. It had contained some kind of magic - a glittering path of what looked somewhat like pyreflies had risen in the mud, leading off into the shadow.

Well, the next step was obvious enough.

((Since I'm too lazy to find a good way to say it in context, Aer is now gone for the moment. He'll be back shortly, but I wanted to make sure I know what's going on when he returns, so I can do it accurately.

As a heads-up, he's going to find 'something', and then come back and be like "OMG Ed you have to come see this!"))  

[Griselda Banks]

((Yeah, I think you've got it right. I was always under the impression that the act of the Final Summoning itself killed the summoner, but they never actually come out and say it - mainly because nobody's there to see it happen and return alive, I suppose. And somehow the summoners must get sent, or they go to the Farplane anyway because they've accepted their fate long ago, because High Summoner Braska is there when Yuna visits.

Anyway, this is going to be...interesting. We're only maybe a little more than halfway through the pilgrimage, and the summoner already knows about the Final Aeon. The maesters would go crazy if they knew what Cal's done, eh? razz

Aer's part makes absolutely no sense to me, of course, but it looks like it'll be interesting! xd So basically, when they finish their chat inside and go out to find where he's gone, he won't be there, right?))

Eddora hung onto his every word, hoping desperately for some way to escape the revelation that was galloping towards her like a raging Behemoth. But when he said it right out, even she couldn't pretend he meant it any other way. Clutching the fabric covering her stomach, she slowly got to her feet again, not taking her eyes off Calaman for an instant. When she spoke, her voice was hushed, incredulous, strangled by shock and horror. "You mean...I've got to turn one of my guardians into an aeon? And then have him be killed when he fights Sin?" The Final Aeon always battled Sin over the Calm Lands, and everyone nearby could see the battle, even as far away as Bevelle. Everyone knew, from what they'd seen with their own eyes or heard in stories passed down through the generations, that Sin and the Final Aeon killed each other almost simultaneously. The cataclysmic battle was so explosive that it left nothing alive for miles; that was why only grass and a few shrubs and small trees ever had a chance to grow on the Calm Lands, and why nobody except the occasional nomadic Al Bhed tribe ever lived there. This had never bothered Ed before, because she'd known quite well that she would die anyway, but now....

"No!" Ed shouted, then began to pace back and forth restlessly, aiming a kick at her chair as she passed it. "I can't do that!" How could she force any of her guardians into such a fate? She'd accepted many years ago that she would die if she became High Summoner; she'd almost welcomed the thought. And she'd been fine with the idea that her guardians would be put in danger, sometimes mortal danger, because that was just what the pilgrimage entailed. But this...this was tantamount to murder. Forcing one of her guardians, who'd all pledged to protect her, but not to willingly walk right into the arms of death, to become something...not human. Aeons were useful and all, and she respected those aged saints who'd given themselves up to become them, but.... She couldn't do that to Venez, or even idiot Rogan, and certainly not to Aer or Calaman.... Despite any secrets they might have kept from her or things that might have changed about them from the time when she accepted them. Because they were her guardians, for crying out loud! There was a trust between summoner and guardian that was not supposed to be broken, and agreeing to this course of action felt too much like stabbing them in the back.

Ed came to a stop and held her head in her hands, squeezing her eyes shut and gritting her teeth. "Not supposed to be like this...." she muttered. Then she drew in a breath as she saw a way out. Swiveling around to face Calaman again, she said in a rush, "But you said this Fee-whatever guy might be crazy or lying, right? So maybe he's wrong and it's not like that at all, right?! We can't know for sure until we go to Zanarkand and see for ourselves!"  

[Ikken Isshu]

((Pretty much. I'll either wait a couple posts and then have him come rushing in, or he'll just come back whenever someone steps outside.

The Maesters are ALREADY crazy, lawls. xd

And since I have the opportunity, here's a hint of what's to come...))

Aer stood at the mouth of the cave, breathing heavily. He'd run... he didn't know. His stupid robes had tripped him up more than enough, so he'd had a difficult time of it, but he'd probably still sprinted at least half the way here. And now the trail of pyre-whatevers was leading him straight into the black maw of the earth. Even the cave itself was ambiguously formed, the heavy rain obscuring any clear definition of its size or shape. And he couldn't see any end to the cave, not from out here.

But still, he had seen her. He was probably mad. But then, she had been Unsent, and she had always been strong-willed, so why couldn't she be here?

He put a hand over his eyes and tried to think. Tried to think around his scattered memories.

Do I just want her to be here? Or do I really think it's worth it to see where her ghost is leading me? I hope... I hope it's really her ghost. This feels too much like one of the Fayths' tests.

~

Calaman didn't respond for a few seconds, then he nodded slowly. And just like that, something of his old fire came back into his eyes.

"This isn't your responsibility alone," he said, looking up. "We all took an oath to Yevon. If it comes to it, my Lady, I will do what's necessary, for you... for the pilgrimage."

~

The worst part of it was that Aer knew exactly what he was looking at, without ever having seen it or anything like it before. The unfairness of it struck him like a blow to the stomach. He'd spent years sailing all over Spira with her, trying to outline her father's work so they could continue it. They'd never imagined that he might have completed it before he died. But... how? Hadn't they always supposed that it couldn't be done on one's own? But... here it was, the exact thing they'd been hunting down all those years...

...uselessly.

Well, now he knew why this was going to matter to Ed. After all, she was the Summoner; he was just a Guardian, a black mage with a few demons he thought he'd escaped.

"I'll be back," he muttered into the darkness. "But then I guess you knew that already."

At this point, he only wanted to know one thing: What are you dreaming about?  

[Griselda Banks]

((Lol, I guess you have a point there. At least there's no Seymour this time to "save the world" by killing everyone in it rolleyes ))

Eddora felt her desperation fading away, now that she knew she didn't have to deal with this horrifying prospect just yet. They still had Shiva and Bahamut to collect, and then the arduous trek over Mt. Gagazet and through Zanarkand, before she'd have to worry about it. "Right," she said, nodding to Calaman and impulsively grabbing his shoulder in thanks.

She looked around at the three guardians with her in the room - Venez looking so confused and afraid that it seemed she was unable to speak, Calaman looking up at her with a determined expression she was well accustomed to, and Rogan still lounging in his chair, with one eye cracked open and watching her mildly. My guardians, she said to herself, and the thought bolstered her. Whoever had first established the nature of the pilgrimages, whether it was a priest or Yevon himself, had shown wisdom in requiring guardians to aid the summoner. It would have been unbearably lonely without them, to have discovered this without their support. Drawing herself up straighter, she said firmly, "I won't make a decision before I know all the facts. Because it affects all of you, not just me. We'll see what the state of things are when we get to Zanarkand, and we'll...well, we'll decide what to do then."

Nodding again as if to seal her determination, Ed turned abruptly towards the door and said through her teeth, "And now I'm going to see where Aer's got to. I've got a few things to set straight with him." She stomped out of the inn, the shock, embarrassment, and irritation she'd held at bay now rushing over her again. She barely even noticed when the rain slapped against her as soon as she stepped outside, except to curse it under her breath as she squinted around in the dim light to find her guardian. Her lying guardian who'd tricked her all this time.  

[Ikken Isshu]

The trail of lights was gone, but somehow, the trek back to the inn didn't seem so long. He'd taken care to memorize a few landmarks on the way back, so he was reasonably confident he could find the cave again. Probably. Unfortunately, Eddora was already standing outside the inn when he came in sight of it. She looked... pretty pissed.

"Lady Ed," he called when he was pretty sure he'd be visible even through the rain. I hope she's mad about what I think she's mad about. Otherwise I'll sound like an idiot. Well, the way things turned out, I don't think I can avoid sounding like an idiot. "Lady Ed..."

Now that he thought about it with a somewhat clear mind, he realized that he'd sound either highly suspicious, or outright mad, if he asked her to follow him to a cave on the Thunder Plains because he'd found something that he couldn't explain unless she saw it.

Especially given her apparent mood. Best to take it in stages.

"I'm sorry, Eddora," he said as he came up under the eaves. "I wasn't trying to deceive you or anybody. I did have a wife and a boy a long time ago, but that was a long time ago. I just wanted to forget some painful memories. You can understand that, can't you?"  

[Griselda Banks]

Finally Eddora made out the form of Aer, coming towards her from the desolate plains. She wondered if he'd been moping about all this time. She planted her feet and crossed her arms, waiting for him to get close enough so she could start demanding answers. Before she could, though, he began a mingled apology and explanation, as though he knew she would start berating him and wanted to get his piece said first.

"Did it take you all that time to rehearse what you were going to say?" Ed asked with an irritated frown. But she didn't let him answer, because there were more important things to deal with. "So what happened to this wife and son of yours?" Her eyes narrowed. "You just walk out on them or something? Thought you could head off on a pilgrimage and it wouldn't matter? Didn't want to deal with it, so you just left, is that it?"

Her voice was calm and level, but she only managed to keep it that way with great effort. One of her clenched fists was trembling, and she could feel angry heat building up behind her cheeks even in the cold wind and rain.  

[Ikken Isshu]

Aer's jaw was hanging slightly open, and it was several seconds before he recognized the bizarre feeling that flooded his body.

He wanted to hit her.

He'd come all this way for her, and yet now he genuinely wanted to hit her. No, that was a lie. Partially, yes, he had done this for her, but more realistically, it had been his own way of proving to himself that - what? What was there to prove? Maybe that he'd moved on. Clearly he'd been wrong, though.

"She's been dead for..." he realized he couldn't be heard over the rain, raised his voice. "She's been dead for ten years. Since the beginning of the last pilgrimage. I didn't leave her. She died at sea. We sailed around for some years, trying to piece together something her father had been working on. He was some kind of adventurer; I never met him. Then Sin came back. It trashed our ship. Its spawn took her, and - and I never saw Ku..."

Oh, no. Oh, no, no. The baby's name brought back no memories, but the emotions were crippling. He closed his eyes; tried to fight it - and then stopped. It didn't have to be so difficult. He would just go. Either she would follow him, and see for herself; he could explain, and she had to understand. Or she could let him go. He didn't think she would, but if she did... well, this journey was a farce on his part anyway, so what did it matter?

Without another word, he turned away from her and walked into the rain.  

[Griselda Banks]

Eddora watched shock, anger, and grief play out across Aer's face, and when she heard the brief explanation he gave in a voice brimming over with all three, she felt her stomach twist with shame. Shame was not something she was very used to feeling - embarrassment over small things, yes, but usually by the time she realized she'd done something stupid, it was so far in the past that it didn't do any good to feel bad about it anymore. And among all the stupid things she'd done, she couldn't remember one that had made her feel this bad.

Aer turned abruptly and started walking away without even finishing what he was saying, and at first Ed could only stare after him. Now look what you've done, she snapped at herself. Way to stick your whole foot in your mouth. You couldn't just wait for him to explain things, could you? Couldn't just let it slide like everyone else. You had to go and jump to the worst conclusions. Why had this whole thing mattered so much to her anyway? It was his personal business, right? What right did she have to demand to know his family situation, when it really had no bearing on the pilgrimage whatsoever? None of the others had made a big deal about it. None of the others had demanded to know what was what. So why did she think it was so important to her?

But that was a question to mull over some other time. Aer was getting farther and farther away with every moment she stood rooted to the spot. Just go, go, you idiot! she yelled at herself. Go and apologize to him now, or he'll think you don't care. She followed her own advice and hurried after him, splashing through puddles and impatiently yanking her robes up higher so they wouldn't cling to her legs with all the water. When she came alongside Aer and slowed down again, she looked up at him and cut right to the chase. She'd say her piece, and if he got angry, she'd just let him be, and it would be her own stupid fault.

"I'm sorry," she said, then had to wait while a roll of thunder growled across the sky. "I shouldn't have assumed...I mean, I was just surprised, since you didn't say anything.... Well, duh, you were trying to forget," she added more softly, pushing her hair out of her eyes as she looked away awkwardly. Yevon, how were you supposed to apologize for such an ugly insult? "So, yeah, I'm sorry. It...must be hard for you."