In a bad mood? come here and rant till you feel better

[DruidWitch82]

Happy: I found a roommate to live with, so I can move on time!

Happy: I got accepted to grad school!

Crappy: I still haven't found a job.

Crappy: ftd.com got my order mixed up, so my girlfriend got the wrong gift for valentine's day sad  

[Deoridhe]

-_- Why do I feel so dispirited and blah? I'm fighting off the worse rounds of self-hate, my latest bitchitude-in-the-wrong-direction appears to have not had terminal repercussions, I have manga of boys being cute and having adventures, I've even written a chunk of fanfic and come up with the OC I need for the next chapter... why do I just want to curl up in bed and hide?

*le sigh*  

[CuAnnan]

I'm depressive.
I get that.
I can cope with it, for the most part.
The guys in work are great, and all, but I don't think they'd know how to cope if I turned around and asked them to leave off the slagging for a few days while my brain chemistry rebalances.
That and I'm back in the closet.  

[queertastrophy]

My bank has charged me an overdraft fee, when I haven't overdrawn--I've been extra careful this past month, and my spending left me with about $14 in my account. This is the second time they've done this, and I will now have to go through the process of moving my tiny funds to another bank, if I can find one with a reasonable plan (this is the difficult part).

I feel horribly unproductive, as I haven't been to work since Monday night. I'm sure I'll hear about calling off on Wednesday, but it had snowed about six inches, and they hadn't plowed at all, as I live in a cul de sac. And I wasn't about to shovel a five-foot-wide path down the street for sixty yards so I could access the main road. My back would have never forgiven me, since it's been aching from work for weeks, now. sweatdrop So now I get paid for two nights a week, instead of having worked my usual three. Not that it's a huge difference, but $80 is $80.

And I would love if my friends would get over their petty drama, for once in their damned lives. I'm ready to knock the lot of their heads together. We're all adults now, and this is getting REALLY ******** ridiculous. stressed  

[IH_Zero]

Did I enter some alternate universe, where one's gross pay matters anywhere other than a tax form? Because apparently it does when you're applying for food stamps. Sure, if you look at my fiance's gross pay, we look like we're doing alright. About $1000 some odd every two weeks.

Unfortunately, social services refuses to take into account that he brings home less than half of his gross pay on every paycheck. Which would put us well within the limit of eligibility if that was his gross pay. The ******** up welfare system is one of the many reasons we can't get our own place to live, and it's starting to piss me off.  

[Dema]

I'm unhappy about being single and I'm trying not to take it out on the ex(whom I'm still close friends with) sweatdrop confused  

[jaden kendam]

Deoridhe

-_- Why do I feel so dispirited and blah? I'm fighting off the worse rounds of self-hate, my latest bitchitude-in-the-wrong-direction appears to have not had terminal repercussions, I have manga of boys being cute and having adventures, I've even written a chunk of fanfic and come up with the OC I need for the next chapter... why do I just want to curl up in bed and hide?

*le sigh*

manga of boys being cute and having adventures? Im lost?

And for Cuchullen, why back in the closet?  

[jaden kendam]

AngryRobotsInc.

Did I enter some alternate universe, where one's gross pay matters anywhere other than a tax form? Because apparently it does when you're applying for food stamps. Sure, if you look at my fiance's gross pay, we look like we're doing alright. About $1000 some odd every two weeks.

Unfortunately, social services refuses to take into account that he brings home less than half of his gross pay on every paycheck. Which would put us well within the limit of eligibility if that was his gross pay. The ******** up welfare system is one of the many reasons we can't get our own place to live, and it's starting to piss me off.

They lost my medical paperwork and kicked me off. Between them, workmans comp, and social security, I could go on a homocidal spree and probably get away with it. smile

But heres hopeing something good comes about Angry. Keep fighting the system.  

[CuAnnan]

jaden kendam

And for Cuchullen, why back in the closet?

Because there's only one guy in work who I'm out to.
The lads are great, and all, but there's a delicate dynamic that I don't want to upset.
Maybe when I'm more sure of my rank in the pack.  

[jaden kendam]

Cuchullain

jaden kendam

And for Cuchullen, why back in the closet?

Because there's only one guy in work who I'm out to.
The lads are great, and all, but there's a delicate dynamic that I don't want to upset.
Maybe when I'm more sure of my rank in the pack.

Ahh..more of a necessity until the waters are better tested, than anything else. I gotcha.  

[Deoridhe]

jaden kendam

manga of boys being cute and having adventures? Im lost?

Gorgeous Carat. Florian is SUCH a love and Noir's ******** hot. crying I love that manga-ka. She's got another series, Canterella, which has cute bi boys - bi boys being my favorite - and the possibility of a threesome. Ahhh, bliss. wink She also doesn't vilify women, so I can relax when I'm reading her manga! All in all, squee-tastic.

In any case, despite the nummyness of her heros, both of the serieses of hers I've read so far have had PLOT and ACTION and SHINY EMOTIONAL DEVELOPMENT, so I not only have relationship dynamics to enjoy vicariously, but I also get nice stories which aren't all about who's after Florian's a** this time (a la some of the shojo manga I read, where the plot often IS the relationships). Not that I don't LIKE relationship-centric stuff, but it gets old sometimes. I usually prefer my relationship drama as a side helping to a main course of interesting plot, if ya know what I mean.

So, yeah, boys being cute and having adventures. ^^  

[Pelta]

Last week of term.

Spent seven hours doing analysis on saturday, worked ten hours straight on analysis, harmony and keyboard on sunday, spent five hours in the tech lab yesterday finishing my tech project... And I was doing fine until my stupid body decides it can't cope and decides to GET SICK! ******** this nonsense! I don't have time to spend getting better. I still have an essay due friday! This is the exact same thing that happened last term too. They really don't allow that dual majors are going to be so stressed the body can't handle it. I'm feeling miserable and still need to spend at least five hours today in the library.

On the less crappy side, I'm going to London next saturday.

On the fantastic side, I still love all this work, and life has been very good to me lately. mrgreen  

[CuAnnan]

My grandfather died half an hour ago.  

[CuAnnan]

I should probably go a little further than that. My mind's a little wreaked at the moment from having been in a hospice with all those people dying. My family was blessed with an abundance of Empathy. As a result we're all a little frazzled.

My grandfather is no longer in pain. He was a living saint, he'd lived through an abusive wife, my mother's mother, with manic depression before they knew what depression was. His second wife, my grandmother, was domineering and difficult but a lovely caring woman.

I don't know if it's just how strong my faith is but at the moment I'm feeling relief that he's not in pain anymore. He was a strong proud man and he'd had a debilitating stroke which left him unable to move, speak or recognise anyone most of the time. His greatest love was food and he hasn't been able to eat for over a month. That is no way for a man to live. And, a year ago when the stroke happened, I started the grieving process naturally. I knew he was going to die within the year. I am not saddened by his loss because I do not feel it. I am a living testament to him and he lives on through me.

There were thirty seconds, after I received the call, where I was upset but now I feel strangely content.

My head is clear of all of the anger and sadness, I feel really good which means
I'm in shock,
I'm a psychopath
or my faith is as strong as I think it is at the best of times.

What's worrying me is that I'm being callous.  

[ShadowSharrow]

You're not.
You also know that you have your mother and other family emeber sto mind and look out for, that coupled with the relief that your grandfather has escaped his shell and is no longer confinded to what became in his last weeks a prison, means that you are not awash with grief and longing.

Death can be a relief and a joyous one esp if the person has lived a good long life and has left a legacy behing them. Thier time being done and them having moved on to the summer lands to rest is not a thing to be hurt or resentful over.

Grief can be a selfish thing, we miss them when they are gone but it can take a while for this to happen esp if we have gotten used to them not being themsleves.

It took nearly a year after my grandmother died for the flood gates to open,
it was when I was given her arann cardigan that still smelt of her that it started. I wore it for nearly a weak and cried a lot and spoke of her and told tales to all that would hear and made sure that my children would have some rememberance of her.