___ ways to annoy your band director

[Foxhart X]

*laugh out loud.. really loud.. during one of their serious lectures/ talks

*during a rehearsal run-though, wander aimlessly around the field or better yet, during a performance.. o0o0o..

*running in our uniform.... mine gets mad at least..

*have really bad posture

*play to the floor

*overblow or play not in tune all the time...

*just stand/sit there while you're supposed to be playing

*do homework during class/rehersal

*never dress the line... or UNdress the line.. haha

*march in zig-zags...

*play/use your gameboy or cellphone during class/rehersal

*once my friend went into a practice room and took a nap.. and my bd found him.. haha.. yea.. it was funnie..

*play your music with a little swing to it when your not supposed to(jazz-like)

yea.. no idea really... juss thinking...  

[Foxhart X]

have one person play 'taps' when the football team is losing miserably... some trumpet in my band did that once.. he had to go and apologize to the entire football team.. xd  

[Dimitri_H]

my bd thinks that trumpet wars are outrageous...freshman year at playoffs for basketball, you heard various tunes from revele', charge, and a few others just from these two seniors displaying their skill, our trumpeteer lost to the 'baton death march'  

[RinoaHeartilly]

My BD gets frusterated when we talk while we're marching to our charts; and by talk I mean like have an actual conversation while you're marching to your spot as opposed to asking for help or something.  

[Bob. I am.]

the year before i went to my high school, the band played a song that the lowbrass and f horns loved. they had 76 messures of rest. and the music said with intensity during the rests. (this is in the temp of 56) so they spent the time sleeping. the first time they plaied it a concert comp, you can hear snoring on the CD. mr. franklin, my bd, got so pissed... it was great... so many crying seniors... oh the pain...

A great thing to do if your director is really old is to get a loud clarinet or flute to play lullibys near him while every one is warming up.

This is a new thing that my section is doing this year. The mellophones play 'Hail to the Chef' as our bd walks to the podium... ^^ he gets so pissed... its great.

Start lap dancing with someone in the stands during a candence, then go up to him when he sees you and askes if he wants one.  

[Chibi faery]

Our band director hates the intercom. He tends to throw stuff at it when someone calls the band room.  

[Belle89]

Silver Gryphon

*digs around in music joke links*

Never be satisfied with the tuning note. Fussing about the pitch takes attention away from the podium and puts it on you, where it belongs.

When raising the music stand, be sure the top comes off and spills the music on the floor.

Complain about the temperature of the rehearsal room, the lighting, crowded space, or a draft. It's best to do this when the conductor is under pressure.

Look the other way just before cues.

Never have the proper mute, a spare set of strings, or extra reeds. Percussion players must never have all their equipment.

Ask for a re-audition or seating change. Ask often. Give the impression you're about to quit. Let the conductor know you're there as a personal favor.

Pluck the strings as if you are checking tuning at every opportunity, especially when the conductor is giving instructions. Brass players: drop mutes. Percussionists have a wide variety of droppable items, but cymbals are unquestionably the best because they roll around for several seconds.
Loudly blow water from the keys during pauses (Horn, oboe and clarinet players are trained to do this from birth).

Long after a passage has gone by, ask the conductor if your C# was in tune. This is especially effective if you had no C# or were not playing at the time. (If he catches you, pretend to be correcting a note in your part.)

At dramatic moments in the music (while the conductor is emoting) be busy marking your music so that the climaxes will sound empty and disappointing.

Wait until well into a rehearsal before letting the conductor know you don't have the music.

Look at your watch frequently. Shake it in disbelief occasionally.

Tell the conductor, "I can't find the beat." Conductors are always sensitive about their "stick technique", so challenge it frequently.

As the conductor if he has listened to the Bernstein recording of the piece. Imply that he could learn a thing or two from it. Also good: ask "Is this the first time you've conducted this piece?"

When rehearsing a difficult passage, screw up your face and shake your head indicating that you'll never be able to play it. Don't say anything: make him wonder.

If your articulation differs from that of others playing the same phrase, stick to your guns. Do not ask the conductor which is correct until backstage just before the concert.

Find an excuse to leave rehearsal about 15 minutes early so that others will become restless and start to pack up and fidget.

During applause, smile weakly or show no expression at all. Better yet, nonchalantly put away your instrument. Make the conductor feel he is keeping you from doing something really important.

Wow we have every single one of those... lol  

[Belle89]

Thanks for your suggestions guys! We're at 350-some. biggrin  

[x__CrimsonRegret]

Woodwinds: Ask your director why your new reed doesn't sound right, when you says you have to break it in, snap it in half and blame it on him for not speaking clearly.

Attach a bucket to your instrument, when the band director asks why say "because I couldn't hold a tune to save my life"

Xylo/Bells/etc.: If you're near the timpani, hit random notes while the director is talking, when he asks what you're doing, say "I swear to god you tuned those timpani wrong". If he says he used a pitchpipe tell him that you used that one when you were sick with mono but showed up because you loved band so much

If you read treble cleff (FACE) play everything with a bass cleff (ACEG) and vice versa.

drums: Rip the title off your music, and play it wrong loudly. When he asks what you're doing say "Oh! The music was upside down)"

hit a cymbal and say you missed the section leader.

learn the phone number for the band office, and use your cell phone to call while he's working on a song

after you tag for tag show, show up without can and say you used the money for gas because band makes you drive so much.

use a drum stick on timpani's

mix up trombone and tuba music  

[Wildervast]

[TheJudged]

If you read treble cleff (FACE) play everything with a bass cleff (ACEG) and vice versa.

I've done that by accident before. sweatdrop I can read bass, tenor, and treble clef; if I switch between the harmony and melody parts I sometimes get confused.  

[Bought Off Ebay]

Tell him, "I lowered my cholesteral." (don't ask)  

[Kaome_Catagi]

Play your instrument when ur band teacher tells u not to!

In marching Band, keep ur instrument BELOW parallel when ur band teacher tells u to keep it ABOVE parallel

it really pisses him off! 3nodding  

[Belle89]

Rebecca_Lupin

Tell him, "I lowered my cholesteral." (don't ask)

That could get really annoying if you make it a daily thing... then give him a "lower your cholesteral too chart"! I'm gonna do that! whee  

[[Elly Bee]]

Get one person in each section to play a semitone lower than the music is written.

Once you have tuned up, pull your slide/reed/etc. out or push it in and see how long it takes to tune up. Make records of it.