Merits and Flaws of the Broom Closet

[saint dreya]

i'm ambivalent to the subject.

i can see why one would be open with it. when someone asks why i insist on having saturdays off, i tell them "religious observances". if they press further, like "what religion?", i'll tell them. i don't really see a reason for me to be closeted about it.

and then, i can see how some people might be worried their job is at stake. i don't think it's cowardly to be afraid of losing one's livelihood. i think it would be cowardly to attempt to be the mainstream/accepted religion just to avoid the whole thing together.  

[queertastrophy]

If a friend is curious, I'll tell them, but otherwise I won't bring it up. If they have questions, I'll answer to the best of my ability. I'll be open about it over the Internet, but certainly not to the point where every post or blog entry I make is "OMG ASATRU!1" The only people who read my blogs and such are friends, anyhow.

My parents don't know what I study, but that's only because they've never asked or presented interest in what I've turned to ever since I broke away from Catholicism. I really see no reason to "come out" to them, just like I see no reason to burst into the living room and announce to them that I'm bisexual.

I'll only avoid the topic if someone I don't know asks me, like how customers did when I worked at Sears, which I didn't appreciate. I'd kind of try to deter them with "Aw, sir, my faith has no bearing on your purchase...um...er...DO YOU LIKE THIS RING? ninja "

As for lying about it...I've never been in a situation where I felt that I absolutely needed to do so. The only people who have ever asked are friends (who I don't mind telling), and the occasional stranger, and I'd just change the subject when that happened. So...I guess I really don't have a good answer for the last discussion point. >__>  

[TeaDidikai]

So- Parents and the Broom Closet.

Now- my father's side of the family is where I get most of my tradition. My Mother's side of the family, is where I find causual interests. (Nana, my mother's mother- took me to "Psychic Camp" when I was a kid. ~shrugs~ )

Now- to this day, my mother believes her mother is going to hell for "consorting with spirits". She also thinks I "worship witches".

But then, I wasn't shy about disagreeing with my mother because of the relationship she and I had.

Do I advocate children breaking hospitality? No. But that hospitality begins and ends with actions. Not beliefs.  

[Fiddlers Green]

I say play the placation game until one lives on their own.
Also, while placating, do some research and learn as much about the different options available to you as possible, so that when one is on their own, they can make an educated decision. 3nodding

Edit: Actually, before going on that route, it may be beneficial to test the waters, and see how open minded one's parents are to this sort of thing. It can help with dealing with later issues that may arise.  

[TeaDidikai]

Fiddlers Green

However, when pressed, we will not lie.

But... isn't the revisionist junking of half of the deity structure a lie? Or were you only speaking of your one sect?  

[Fiddlers Green]

TeaDidikai

Fiddlers Green

However, when pressed, we will not lie.

But... isn't the revisionist junking of half of the deity structure a lie? Or were you only speaking of your one sect?

I'm speaking of my sect.
The "mainstream" of the religion follows some behavior code that I think is akin to Bullshido... Talk about righteousness and being forthright, while really doing anything to survive.  

[TeaDidikai]

Fiddlers Green

I'm speaking of my sect.
The "mainstream" of the religion follows some behavior code that I think is akin to Bullshido... Talk about righteousness and being forthright, while really doing anything to survive.

Okay. Thanks for the insight.  

[Fiddlers Green]

TeaDidikai

Okay. Thanks for the insight.

Sorry, my bitterness speaking there.

In all honesty, the main body also espouses honesty and considers deciet to be a darkling thing, and therefor contrary to the will of Anhur, also, secrets are the realm of Angra Mahya, and it is desirous for avoiding that realm.
The vast majority I have encountered are not secretive and maliciously subversive of the truth, rather, they have been brought up being spoon-fed the Dhimmi party line, and (given the regions they often come from, and the generally closed nature of their communities) it is unlikely the lay person even knows of the history and alteration of the religion.

Edit: But then again, in a closed society, there is no real need for secrecy or deceit, unless one intends to deviate from that closed group... then it becomes a different matter... one I shall have to look into...  

[Kuroiban]

I'm largely not in the broom closet, but mostly because I rarely bring the subject up. I don't hide it (usually, depends on the audience) when the subject is brought up, but I don't go into detail about them typically.

When the subject is brought up with someone I don't trust or is completely unknown to me (as was the case when someone came up to me in the middle of the dinner, and informed that Jesus loved me), I'll simply inform them that I have my own beliefs.

I don't talk about the matter with a majority of family, though my mother and father are vaugely aware. My father dosen't care. My mother thinks I'm going to hell. rolleyes We sort of have a silent agreement to just leave the subject alone. We have a much happier realtionship because of it.

As for work, I don't go out of my way to discuss my religious beliefs, unless the subject comes up, which does happen from time to time. For instance, I used to work for Chik-fil-a. Anyone who knows anything about that company knows that it is EXTREMELY religious, and I worked in one that had a lot of people who went to the local Christan college and where studying a variety of theological stuffs.

Did I go flinging a pentacle around me head? Not particuarly. When the owner refused to allow us to dress up in any way on Halloween because it was a Pagan holiday, I didn't say anything because I wasn't going to get into a fight over my right to dress up in costume at work and make a bunch of waves for no damn reason (while his intolerence was annoying, it really didn't...you know...DO anything).

By the same token, however, they knew I wasn't Christian, as they asked and I told them the truth. I had many different fulfilling theological conversation with a variety of people however, and I never had to lie about what I believed.

The closet is definiately needed for some...others...not so much. If you have to lie about something to protect you life and safety, I can't fault anyone for it.  

[Kesseire]

I generally don't tell people about my beliefs, and if somebody asks I'm not above a little misdirection or changing the topic. I'll sometimes talk about specific beliefs I might hold if the subject comes up during conversation, but I'm just as likely to play Devil's advocate and argue a position I don't espouse. I've just learned that people make too damn many assumptions and opening up inevitably bites me in the behind.

There are a few people who I don't do this to, who have passed beyond some certain threshold of trust. That set of people does not not include my parents. My mother would take it as a personal criticism and my father wouldn't understand. Since my husband and I live over a thousand miles away, though, that isn't too much of an issue; it's not as if I'm 14 and still under their roof.


However, since I just have a set of relatively firm beliefs and alter my life on the basis of those beliefs, rather than an easily-described "path", it's easy for me to say I don't tell people what my religion is when, to be honest, I don't know quite what I'd say even if I was inclined to tell.  

[jaden kendam]

I dont hide my beliefs, but I dont go into another faith systems church or store and shout about them. Then again, I dont go into a fluffy bunny store and shout them. But there are diffferent reasons for that.  

[Keistera]

I am all for the "don't ask, don't tell" and "My religion is my business, not yours" policies. I remember a fellow in a Gaia guild asking what t-shirt he should wear to school to proclaim that he was "Wiccan"; that solidified my stance right there.

I have no need to place my religious affiliation on a big billboard and point it out to everyone I meet. Nobody should have to, and the ones that seem to enjoy doing it are also the ones that b***h the most about "persecution" and "teh ev0l xians". I am also so laid back as to be indifferent if someone asks me to attend a religious gathering that isn't mine. I went to a Catholic memorial service, friends, and I came out of it just fine -- I'm still a flavour of Pagan, and found the study of Catholic ritual to be quite fascinating and even (*gasp*) beautiful.

Besides, keeping my mouth shut helps me avoid the local crazies. :/ I mean, I don't know about you, but I don't have the time to be dealing with Lady Amethyst McAngelTits UnicornDust. Knowing me, I'd be one of the FIRST PEOPLE she'd go to.

... I am very wordy today. *cheers*  

[EternalHearts]

I'm of the same opinion as many of us--if it comes up, I'll divulge as much as that person needs to know. Within a small amount of time people can tell that I'm not a member of "the big three"-Christianity, Judaism and Muslim. But, if they don't need any more info, then they don't get it. I'm sure most people that I interact with know I'm some form of pagan.  

[maenad nuri]

EternalHearts

I'm of the same opinion as many of us--if it comes up, I'll divulge as much as that person needs to know. Within a small amount of time people can tell that I'm not a member of "the big three"-Christianity, Judaism and Muslim. But, if they don't need any more info, then they don't get it. I'm sure most people that I interact with know I'm some form of pagan.

My friends know...my family, strangely enough, thinks I am either Athiest or Agnostic. If they would just ask...

(and I have had altars the whole time, too!)  

[TeaDidikai]

Nuri

My friends know...my family, strangely enough, thinks I am either Athiest or Agnostic. If they would just ask...

Dear- Heathens are godless. 3nodding