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 Posted: Sat Sep 02, 2006 12:31 am
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[Kudzu] I have Paranoid Schizophrenia. I was diagnosed in 2002, and all aspects of my life, including the spiritual, sort of went through a transformation. I mean transformation in the same way that fire transforms!
So you feel at a level now where you keep yourself relativly stable and you can move forward in all things?
[Kudzu] There's no question that it causes problems, but I just patiently keep at things and/or find work-arounds.
Those are good skills to have ^.^
[Kudzu] I joke with my HPS and HP that I'm in the "special ed." Witch class, because we know that my training will take longer and be a lot more difficult than it would be without my disability.
It is good that you can joke about it, and that you are working at it. 3nodding
[Kudzu] Keep taking your meds, keep trying meditation, and keep following your bliss wherever it may lead.
Thank-you for sharing, and for your encouragement ^^ |
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Posted: Sat Sep 02, 2006 12:43 am
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reagun ban I am bi-polar deppressive and have been diagnosed with clinical depression at various times. I have tried various forms of treatment but because of my .... quirky body chemistry, I am allergic to vast quantities of medication. Opiates make me very very ill, Ibuprofen makes me unable to breathe.
Eee gads, that stinks sad So, what do you take when you get a headache or have to get surgery?
I am allergic to Opiates too (Morphine, Demoral, Codiene), they make me itchy, dizzy, and give me hallucinations while rendering me wheezy.
reagun ban They put me on prozac, prothieden and something else (but I can't remember offhand). The prozac left me unfeeling. It instilled in me the kind of apathy towards everything that... well it wasn't pleasant.
Yeah, that apathy really isn't all that good. I found when I first started taking SSRIs that I didn't feel apathetic, but the longer I was on them, the more it took hold (the apathy that is). It can be nearly as destructive as being depressed.
When you were on prozac (if you don't mind me asking) did you find your spiritual/religious work more difficult to accomplish?
reagun ban The prothieden made me ill so it was never in my system long enough to take effect. The something else made me ill.. see above.
The tricyclics in high doses (as those used to treat depression) can really make one feel terrible. I had to take Elavil for a while (another tricyclic antidepressant) for migraines. It was not a pleasent time.
reagun ban Then someone recommended that I try St. John's Wort. Combined with the councilling, the St. John's Wort really helped. Then the govt. went and illegalised it. It is now in the same classification of drugs as cannabis. My councillor felt that I no longer needed the SJW so wouldn't write me a prescription (and for the most part, she was right).
I don't know much about SJW, but I will certainly investigate it. I know though that one cannot take it while on an anti-depressant, some sort of weird/maybe dangerous interaction occurs. That is weird that they would illegalize it. I would figure the USA would do it before Ireland, but then again... I don't know much about Ireland.
How did the SJW help?
reagun ban Since then I have learned how to deal with the bipolar depression, for the most part, this is within the past four years. My councillor told me that I had adjusted to it to the point that weekly sessions were only draining my resources and that I didn't really need her for anything other than support.
That is really good to know. I am glad that you have got it under control. My mother has Bi-Polar and it is very difficult for her without meds. But she is much happier now that she is on treatment.
Do you find working with your Gods and your spiritual/religious undertakings are impeded much by your bi-polar depression? |
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Posted: Sat Sep 02, 2006 12:52 am
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mouseyanna I'm Bi-Polor as well though not diagnosed by a doctore
I would recommend seeing a doctor, just because it might open options (even non drug options) for treatment, and give you some clearer answers.
mouseyanna so as far as i know i could have a whole bunch of things but i know im Bi-Polor I am not medicated i dont believe in medication to solve mental problems
I used to be on that ship too... But whatever works smile
mouseyanna i understand the chemical reactions in the brain that cause people ot be Bi-Polor and if it works for you thats great keep it up.
My understanding of Bi-Polar disorder comes from my mother, who has bi-polar. And it isn't simply a chemical imbalance.. but a real issue that will never go away. Unlike depression. I've been diagnosed with it twice, but that was by doctors who spoke with me for a few minutes and decided. I am afraid I have it... but, I'm not ready to go there yet.
How does your bi-polar affect your spiritual/religious development (if it does at all, or if this question is even applicable)?
mouseyanna I wont do spell work or anything of that sort when im depressed but i pray alot when i am.
Is it just me, or when you do a spell when depressed, or use the Tarot does everything go haywire? I can't even use magic when I am tired...it's disasterous.
When you pray, do you find your Gods/Ancetors/(Energy you are praying to) to help you cope with your depression?
mouseyanna So in a way it will bring me closer to them I think that when your depressed you should pray to them more they will help you through and teach you the ways that is best for YOU to cope with it and they will bring light to the situation.
I see. I am glad to read this smile
That would be something I might do in the future. In the beginnings of my spiritual/magical/religious quest I worked with a few dieties/entities, and one I became attatched to/it called to me but I'm not sure who or what it is, and I have not spoken to it in quite some time. |
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Posted: Sat Sep 02, 2006 12:54 am
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bobz I'm not always the happybouncy bobz that has often graced these very intarwebs. Even I can get depressed on occasion (Thank the gods never to the level that any meds etc were needed). It didn't really pose that much of an issue though, more a stumbling block than a serious barrier to my spiritual development, I'd almost count it as helping in a way as it's helped me realise just how much I needed to get off my behind.
That is good. Stumbling blocks are the story of my life wink but now, it is a real serious barrier, in everything. yikes.
bobz [being in the same country as Reagun I can say that there hasn't been any sucessful movement yet to get St John's Wort re-legalised.]
Crazy crazy. |
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Posted: Sat Sep 02, 2006 1:01 am
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kirio26 VisasMarr Do you take medication for your psychosis? I have been on again and off again on Risperdal, which is used as an anti-psychotic. It made my brain foggy sad Before your diagnosis were you seeking a religious/spiritual/magical path? Did you find it interfered? Or do you find it interferes more so now? Or not at all? that is a fairly loaded question, actually. yes, i was seeking a spiritual path AS i developed psychosis, which made things confusing and hard. i was very confused when it first developed because, well, i thought i was just psychic, not psychotic, hehe.
*nods* I'll bet. When I was younger I used to think I could read peoples' minds, simply because voices would pop in my head saying stuff about me, not all of it negative. Sometimes the voices would say something wierd like "that pencil is yellow. Why do they make pencils yellow?" It still happens on occassion, but I don't believe them (the voices), and they are not really all that annoying anymore, so I don't even think about them most of the time. I kind of just assimilate them into my inner monologue...
kirio26 i was never put on an actual regimen of daily anti-psychotics. the psychiatrist gave me a few hydroxyzine (sp) for my psychotic episodes, but i found they didn't help much.
That sucks. Do you find that mundane actions (non-pharma) help? Like eating and sleeping properly, exersize and what not.. How about spiritual/religious/magical stuff? Do those things help or hinder, or have no affect?
kirio26 would say that it's fairly managable now, i just have to make sure i know what im interacting with; i've found that generally, i can predict the actions of my hallucinations, while i cannot predict any spiritual bodies i may encounter. so i would say that it interferes little now.
I am glad to know.
VisasMarr kirio26 i have no trouble talking to Gaia, no trouble doing rituals. but then again, i dont worship a lot, you know, rituals and such. i try to give homage (in my thoughts and actions) to Gaia every day. That is good to read ^^ Do you find Gaia a calming presence? You don't have to answer that if you don't want to wink
i do indeed find her a calming presence. i realize that she has plenty of things to worry about, but it's nice just to talk to her because i know she wont judge what i say or how i feel. its nice.
*nods* Thank-you for responding smile |
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Posted: Sat Sep 02, 2006 7:48 am
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Posted: Sat Sep 02, 2006 2:27 pm
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VisasMarr kirio26 i was never put on an actual regimen of daily anti-psychotics. the psychiatrist gave me a few hydroxyzine (sp) for my psychotic episodes, but i found they didn't help much. That sucks. Do you find that mundane actions (non-pharma) help? Like eating and sleeping properly, exersize and what not.. How about spiritual/religious/magical stuff? Do those things help or hinder, or have no affect?
well if i dont eat right (or at least some semblance of healthy) i tend to feel sick physically, which distracts me from my psychosis, but i'm not sure that counts smile
i do feel better (mentally) when i eat right, whether that's just because im not sicky feeling, i'm not sure. I try to get a good nights sleep, but i've found that unless i deprive myself of sleep for long periods of time, it has little effect (by deprive, i mean get less than 5 hours in a given night). i think excersize helps; it gets rid of stress and pent up toxins, so i'd say excersizing is something i should do more of, hehe.
as far as spiritual endeavors helping, i'd say it does simply because when i am more spiritual, i feel more centered and more connected, rather than just floating off into life, you know? i just feel more balanced when i go further into magical/spiritual rituals.
everyone needs a little crazy in em, i guess we're just one step ahead smile |
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Posted: Sun Sep 03, 2006 3:41 pm
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Nuri You know, maybe its true that you have to be crazy to be pagan.
Teehee!
Nuri I'm ADHD comorbid with chronic depression (usually mild). Working with it and through it is difficult, as much as I love to read and research it is incredibly hard for me. So is anything involving concentration.
I know what you mean. I love reading, and I love learning new things...but sometimes they just don't stay in my brain, or it's really really hard to get them in there in the first place.
Nuri See the problem? I haven't mastered it yet, but I'm working on it.
XD That is good. Thank you for sharing smile |
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Posted: Sun Sep 03, 2006 3:46 pm
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kirio26 well if i dont eat right (or at least some semblance of healthy) i tend to feel sick physically, which distracts me from my psychosis, but i'm not sure that counts smile
Naw, I don't think it does.
kirio26 i do feel better (mentally) when i eat right, whether that's just because im not sicky feeling, i'm not sure. I try to get a good nights sleep, but i've found that unless i deprive myself of sleep for long periods of time, it has little effect (by deprive, i mean get less than 5 hours in a given night). i think excersize helps; it gets rid of stress and pent up toxins, so i'd say excersizing is something i should do more of, hehe.
Don't we all.... eek.
kirio26 as far as spiritual endeavors helping, i'd say it does simply because when i am more spiritual, i feel more centered and more connected, rather than just floating off into life, you know? i just feel more balanced when i go further into magical/spiritual rituals.
I used to know... I haven't felt that way in some time.
kirio26 everyone needs a little crazy in em, i guess we're just one step ahead smile
What ever works. ^^ |
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Posted: Mon Sep 04, 2006 4:00 pm
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Nuri You know, maybe its true that you have to be crazy to be pagan.
I've actually been struggling over whether I'm mentally unwell or not and if so how much. I know, up for a mental health professional to decide, but I have not gotten stellar results from the ones I can afford, and the ones I can't afford, well, there you go. But again, there seems to be a lot of unhealthiness around, and I think it can be a stumbling block for a lot of people regardless of their faith. And, like any other difficulty, doesn't have to be what makes it or breaks it. |
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Posted: Mon Sep 04, 2006 5:49 pm
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VisasMarr So you feel at a level now where you keep yourself relativly stable...
Nope! wink
VisasMarr ...and you can move forward in all things?
Absolutely! 3nodding
VisasMarr Thank-you for sharing, and for your encouragement
You're very welcome! Good luck! |
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Posted: Mon Sep 04, 2006 5:59 pm
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Posted: Wed Sep 06, 2006 12:07 pm
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VisasMarr Wood Sorrel I have had depression for 5 years, and several months ago I started antidepressants. I do feel more "myself" on the medication, have more energy, am less overreactive about things, am able to balance more things in my life, etc... That's how I was at first, but it quickly went away sad
That's too bad. It can be a slippery thing, I know...
VisasMarr I simply do not (most of the time) take care of myself. And, without a healthy mind and body, it's hard to do anything spiritual or magical, much less mundane.
Well that's for sure! sweatdrop I started changing my diet before I went on antidepressants, and exercising too, but it's been very hard to keep up with the exercise... I didn't find diet made all that much difference in my mood, though it certainly made my body healthier. The exercise makes me feel better afterwards, it's just hard to start...
VisasMarr Have you found since you started treatment, that your spiritual/magical pursuits are easier or more difficult?
It's interesting. I think that my depression may have in fact spurred some spiritual searching. I was reluctant to start pills, and I started going to a UU church to try to find some meaning and community. I have not been back since I started the pills. Not that I went that much anyway. I feel happier on the pills, but I think my spiritual development has actually been dulled because since I am more content, what do I need to search for? I wouldn't say that spiritual pursuits are easier or more difficult, just that I don't think about it as much. |
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Posted: Wed Sep 06, 2006 6:52 pm
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VisasMarr I don't know much about SJW, but I will certainly investigate it. I know though that one cannot take it while on an anti-depressant, some sort of weird/maybe dangerous interaction occurs. That is weird that they would illegalize it. I would figure the USA would do it before Ireland, but then again... I don't know much about Ireland. How did the SJW help?
SJW works a lot like an SSRI, in that it boosts the level of serotonin being used in your brain. I've been using SJW for about two years now, and it has worked fabulously. I have a serotonin definciency that worsens in winter months. I was on fluoxetine for a few years, and while that helped quite a bit, the side effects were horrible. I began using SJW to help with the withdrawal symptoms when I was quitting fluoxetine, and I continue to use it as a replacement medication.
To answer your original questions, my spiritual experiences did change when I began taking medication. For a while they seemed to taper off, though that was, I suspect, because I was taking medication that was not well suited to my condition. When I finally settled on fluoxetine, I regained my interest in spiritual matters. The experiences were different, but not better or worse. Meditation was easier, but things weren't as intense. It was harder to muster lots of passion and energy at will, and it still is. It's hard to enter any sort of ecstatic state. But I can still communicate with the Gods just as well, and my magic still works, even if it's harder to do. And even though things are more difficult, I'm really grateful that I'm on medication. I find more beauty in the world, and, because I'm happier, I'm more fulfilled by my spirituality. I'm able to live my life better. And that, for me, makes medication absolutely worth it. |
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Posted: Thu Sep 07, 2006 1:51 am
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