Disengaged

[love me til death]

.

"Talking."

When Anika had kissed Syena the second time she wasn't sure what to expect. All she could think about was how much she wanted him in that moment. No matter how much she had hurt her, she needed his lips on hers. She surprised to be met with such passion, his scent filling her lungs as he brought her to her feet. She leaned more into the kiss now that she was on more level ground.

She continued to let herself follow his lead as he bit her lip, a small moan leaving her body despite her wishes to not give him any indication she was enjoy herself. She resisted the urge to moan again as he explored her mouth, still angered by how good this all felt. She moved one of her hands to around his neck to deepen the kiss as he put his hand around her waist. This wasn't what she had imagined one of their first kisses being when she was younger, unprepared for the hunger she would feel.

Anika had always dreamt about his arms being around her waist when she was younger. But that was before she knew better. Now things were different, she was expecting how good it would feel for him to return her affections but was frustrated at the conversation that led to it. She had no idea how he actual felt about her besides lust which would make sense if she was just a toy to him. But in this moment she didn't care, she just wanted more of him even if it was just an illusion of reality.

As he broke away from their kiss she was able to get a better look at him. She attempted to gauge any feelings at all as she caught her breath. He still was a giant question mark to her with his hot and cold antics. She was surprised to hear a laugh and come from the man as he fell onto the couch. Her heart dropped. Was this all just a part of the game? Had she fallen for it again? But then again what was there to fall for when she was the one throwing herself at him. His moods were almost as impossible to predict as hers.

She moved her hand to better stabilize her position above him as moved his to touch the nape of her neck and hair as he made his way to her hand. She felt a chill of anticipation as she waiting for his next move. She felt another shiver as he finally spoke, kissing her palm sending thrilling waves of excitement through her body.

"Well then Anika, come and show me how much you hate me."

She winced as he bite into her hand, biting her lip and withholding a moan. Her fingers wrapped around his face, her nails digging into his cheek slightly. She welcomed the invitation, moving her leg around him and sitting on top of his lap. She couldn't stop thinking about how much she wanted him to take her now and pretend nothing had happened but was she fooling herself at the thought? She didn't want to think about that now.

"It's good to know your lips are good for something." she smiled, taking her hand back from him and moving her hand to his face, running her fingers through his hair. She felt so exposed as he continued looking in her eyes, ready for him to throw her off him and kick him out. She didn't want to fear for the worst but felt like she was Cinderella waiting for her carriage to turn back into a pumpkin. Still looking in his eyes, she felt there was a part of the boy from long ago still there. The one that had written such kind words to her.

She pressed her lips against his once more, letting her whole body fall. As she deepened the kiss, thrilled by the feelings of electricity as their tongues danced for dominance. She moved her body more and more, her hips moving back and forth as they continued. It was getting harder and harder for her to ignore her feelings, she had told herself for years she hated the man in front of her, was she really the liar here?

Anika pulled away from the kiss, catching her breath once more. She moved her hands to his, having them hover over her hips to help her move. She looked at him once more, still trying to to tell what his goal was besides the obvious. It might be better to ask at this point but then that would risk ruining the feelings of electricity she felt flowing through her body. She was torn on what to do once more.

"Is this where you tell me to leave and never come back? she asked, started to plant her lips against his neck, close to his collarbone. As she gave him a second to think she planted two more kisses, starting to suck on his neck. "Or is this where I have to make you beg me to stay?" she asked, her breath starting to get hot and her voice getting quieter as she continued making pressed her mouth against his neck, starting to move her body against his again, pressing their bodies close together. She moved one of her hands to start massaging the man's scalp at the nape of his neck as she continued. She wanted him to ask her to stay, hold her close, do anything to indicate this wasn't a joke and that he really wanted her here.

OOC:
Wearing: If looks could kill
Thoughts: The only thing I hate more than a**holes and liars is myself
Location: Syena's Room
With: Syena, the real one  

[Kumako Shock]

"It's good to know your lips are good for something."

The comment shouldn't have been shocking coming from the princess, but it still surprised Syena enough for him to laugh. Not a big laugh, but still bigger than a chuckle. Mostly at himself. If it wasn't for the weight of Anika climbing into his lap, Syena almost wouldn't have believed that she was finally here. Finally his. What the ******** was he getting himself into? For once in his life he couldn't seem to remind himself to care. Not when her fingers were running through his hair. Not with her eyes on him like she was searching for something that had died within nearly ten years ago. Closing his eyes, he leaned into her touch.

Then she kissed him again, his hands coming up to catch her jaw and keep their mouths locked together. His grip was probably tighter than he intended for it to be. That wasn't important right now. What was important was the slide of her tongue against his. Of how she tasted like the drink he'd given her and strawberries. A flavor he was greedily drinking down now that they were in private. The slow, deliberate rocking of her hips into his own growing need.

It was enough to trick himself into believing she wanted him too.

Anika pulled away first, ripping his hands from her face and hovering them over her hips. He didn't need more of an invitation to dig the pads of his fingers in and guide her in a deep roll of her hips. One that almost made him groan as her lips dipped down to his throat. Almost.

"Is this where you tell me to leave and never come back? Or is this where I have to make you beg me to stay?"

The words that dribbled out of those beautiful red lips snapped the reality of the situation back into his hazy mind. She was using him. This princess thought she could use a king. Worse, he was letting her. It was almost laughable how easily he fell into her. It was like he was a boy again, eagerly awaiting his letters that wouldn't come. Did this woman know nothing but how to take? And after he'd already given her so much? His brow furrowed. If this was how she wanted to play, so be it. Two could play at this game.

Guiding her hips in another tantalizing roll, he savored the last of her hot breath on his neck. They were not lovers. Even if he wanted them to be, he was engaged. It didn't matter how little he truly wanted his fiancé. Besides, Anika had made her feelings about him perfectly clear. He might not be a chaste man, but if she wanted his body giving her more was unnecessary. Desperate. After breaking his heart once he wouldn't give her that satisfaction again.

Releasing her hips, he caught her chin. Pulling her ear to his mouth, he couldn't help the smug tone of his voice when he spoke. "I have no intention of asking you to leave." Biting the tender flesh on her neck just under her ear he continued. "But I do not beg Anika. You either want this, or you don't. Make your choice."




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bedroom ☁︎ Anika

 

[love me til death]

ωith: Syena︱ ωhere: Syena's Room︱ мood: Demure︱ σutfit: ✖

"Talking" "Thoughts"

"I have no intention of asking you to leave."

Hearing those words was all Anika ever wanted to hear as she resisted a moan once more. This was normally the point in her dreams where she woke up. Her carriage would turn into a pumpkin at any moment, the prince would soon become just a figment of her imagination. There was no way these words were actually coming from his mouth, there had to be some sort of catch where she had to sell a part of herself.

"But I do not beg Anika. You either want this, or you don't. Make your choice."

It only took this whisper to bring the princess back to reality. Anika felt she had made her intention clear, throwing herself at him at all costs. It pained her how much she wanted this, she wanted him. Her whole life she had been told she needed no one and this was the one of the only people to make her feel different and he wanted her to declare that? That was something she just couldn’t find the power to do. Her father would smite her where she stood if she admitted that she needed anyone. She was strong and independent, getting everything she wanted. But then, why was she still so unhappy?

There was no way Syena wanted her to admit she cared but it was hard for her to see a way this interaction would continue unless she complied. How dare he make her feel so vulnerable and raw in this moment? She already knew that he didn’t want her but now he was taunting her.

... Unless he wasn’t. There was a chance he did care, why else would he entertain her for so long? It was easier for her to imagine it was just carnal desire but the voice in her head was telling her it might not be.

She released herself from his touch. Still straddling his sides as she gathered her thoughts, "And if I want you, I want this," she gestured her hand between the two of them, "What then?" Curiosity had gotten the better of her. Hearing what happened to the cat mattered nothing to her, she wanted to hear it from the source itself. If he wanted nothing more than her body she was willing to give him that, his touch was all she craved for so long, she didn't want it to end.

This might be the only opportunity she had to get the answers she wanted. If that meant hearing lame excuses of no longer wanting her or that Stilicidium was a better political move for him so be it. What they had when they were young was the realest thing she had ever experienced and she was tired of trying to find ways of feeling alive anymore by starting fights. Bravery was never something she struggled with before so why was she struggling now to ask him all this? It was easier for her to return back to pressing her lips against his and pretending he was just another man but, that wasn’t fair to herself.

This was the person she had put on a pedestal since she was five. The dreams she had and the songs she had written about him would still haunt her if she let herself get too lost in thought. It wasn’t fair to herself to pretend this was just another random encounter. She had been given a second chance to feel something and she was going to take it, even if that meant feeling more raw and bare than she ever had.

"Because I don’t need to decide what I want. I’ve known for over ten years now." The words felt uncomfortable leaving her mouth, feeling more exposed than she would be if he had just stripped her naked. Looking at his face quickly to remind her of the kind-hearted boy that once was, she gently put her hands to his face, pressing her lips against his softly.

Deepening the kiss, for a moment it felt like nothing else mattered, she moved her hand back to the back of his neck tenderly pressing her nails as she continued to explore his mouth. The slap in the face of his engagement meant nothing if he was here now ready to be with her. Her father had always told her she didn't need anyone but he wasn't here to object to her actions. There were no servants, annoying fiancés, or pesky siblings to ruin this dream for her. In this moment, she was finally Syena's and he was hers and she would do anything to keep the spell from fading.

OOC:

 

[Kumako Shock]

When she pulled away from him, Syena thought she was going to leave. It would make sense. They had always danced around each other. Each a strange, distant constant in the other's life. Forced to orbit as their gravity pulled them closer and closer together. It was only logical that she was realizing the mistake this would be between them. Not when he was engaged and she had left him to become the heir apparent of Musique. She would get up, leave, and they would go back to their infuriating game of cat and mouse that they had been playing.

"And if I want you, I want this, what then?"

Confusion furrowed his brow. This hadn't been what he expected. Not when she'd been so stubbornly trying not to answer him properly all night. Yes, she'd put an amusing amount of effort into finding and tailing him around. But hadn't that been part of some sick game she'd been playing to try to make him tail after her like some sad, sick puppy? That was the assumption he'd been going off of all this time. While it made perfect sense she would want him back, none of her questions or the ways she looked at him matched his expectations. Were his expectations truly so unrealistic?

"Because I don’t need to decide what I want. I’ve known for over ten years now."

The raw honesty in her tone surprised him. A new idea dawned on Syena as she pressed a soft kiss to his lips. Maybe she did want this the same way he did. It didn't make sense. How could she have wanted him for ten years when she had been the one to stop responding? Was this some carefully crafted ploy to hurt him again? What did she gain from this? The questions swirl in his mind, plaguing him. Pieces to this puzzle were missing. Worst of all, he didn't know where to start looking for them. But right now? It didn't seem to matter. Closing his eyes, his hand found her chin again. Gently tracing her jaw with his thumb as his hand slipped back to thread in her hair.

As much as he wanted to continue, he pulled back. Or, more accurately, he pulled her back so that he could meet her eyes. Her face. He wanted to find the lie. Up to this point she had been so easy to read. It shouldn't have been hard to find it. But all that was there was earnest discomfort. A dull ache settled into his chest, the sting of her rejection from all those years ago bubbling just under the surface. Why now? Why did she suddenly want him again? What changed? There were so many questions that seemed to be stuck in the back of his throat, the liquor having crumbled some of those carefully constructed walls he worked so hard to maintain.

No, not the liquor. Anika. His thumb brushed against her temple absently in a gesture that was far more affectionate than he would like to admit. She had done this with her damned investigation, with her insistence to speak with him. Now he was left feeling like a love struck boy, waiting to be crushed by her again. There were so many things he wanted to say. None of them felt right in this moment. Voicing any of the racing thoughts in his mind would make her slip through his fingers like the wind again.

"Then who am I to deny you? When we have something in common." Something too close to the truth managed to slip out of him, the bitter taste of his vulnerability lingering long after the words left him. If asked, he would blame it on the drinks he'd had to get through whatever this had become between them. "I've also known what I have wanted for well over ten years."

If the winds were kind, he would forget he had uttered those words in the morning. Instead of fixating on it his gaze dropped down, his fingers trailing down her cheek before dipping past her jawline so he could trace the neckline of her dress with his thumb. Dragging his eyes back up to meet hers, his eyes darkened. "Anika," His voice left no room for an argument as he spoke. "Strip."




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bedroom ☁︎ Anika

 

[love me til death]

ωith: Syena︱ ωhere: Syena's Room︱ мood: Demure, hopeful︱ σutfit: ✖

"Talking" "Thoughts"

When he pulled away from her kiss she expected the worst. This was where her dream would come back to reality, the glass slipper would shatter like her heart did all those years ago. Instead, he just looked at her, his eyes on her it was hard to make eye contact after exposing herself so much but it seemed like he was scanning her. Like he didn’t trust what she had to say.

Still feeling his hand press against her temple, she winced slightly preparing for the worst to come. ’ I told myself this would happen, I’m such an idiot.’ It was hard to look at him as he examined her, deciding what he wanted from her now that he knew how she felt. The ball was fully in his court now and Anika didn’t like it one bit. She was used to being the one in power and now she was relinquishing all control over to a source that had abandoned her when she needed him most. But she couldn’t help it, her feelings had been piling up for over a decade now and she never came up with a proper plan for getting them out.

"Then who am I to deny you? When we have something in common."

Turning her head to face him as he confessed, she couldn’t believe what she was hearing. Was it really possible he felt the same way as her? It didn’t excuse his absence but the fluttering in her heart as it filled with this possibility couldn’t be ignored. Looking him over he seemed almost as uncomfortable as she did, it seemed they had more than one thing in common when it came to their feelings. Clearly, this was a breakthrough for him too, as much as she wanted to ask him why then he stopped contacting her all those years ago and was now engaged, none of it seemed to matter now. It was hard to break the illusion she had started creating for herself.

"I've also known what I have wanted for well over ten years."

The more he spoke the more uncomfortable he seemed. Anika giggled slightly at the confession. It was rare that someone had a worse time expressing themselves than her and it was nice to be on the receiving end for once. They had just been at each other’s throats moments ago, she had just told him she hated him, and now? She felt like the giggly teen reading his letters under covers in secret. It just seemed too unreal. It wasn’t possible that this was an elaborate test by her father, was it? She had so many questions for Syena but didn’t know where to start.

As his hands started moving down from her temple to her dress she realized he had moved on from feeling. Their discussion would have to be paused for the time being, while Anika attended to other matters. Trancing the heart neckline of her dress, still feeling his touch through the fabric she felt the sparks once more. Finally, his eyes met hers once more appearing to be much more serious than they did before.

"Anika. Strip."

His tone was strict and to the point, there was only one thing he wanted from her now. Smiling in response to his request, normally this is where she teased her partners but she could tell he was in no mood for games, neither was she. They both knew what they wanted and had made that perfectly clear. There was no need to try and manipulate him into getting what she wanted, he said he didn’t want her leaving. Finally, the words she had wanted to hear from him for over ten years, she could stay with him like she asked all those years ago.

"Well, you don’t like to waste time, do you," licking her lips and smiling in excitement, not wanting him to wait for her any longer. Anika started pulling off her heels, thankful they weren’t the boots from the first night. They made a small clink as they hit the ground, she didn’t care where they ended up sure that he would help her find them the next morning. The only problem was her dress, normally she had aides help her get dressed in the morning and in the afternoon, she would need Syena’s assistance in his request.

Grabbing his hand, she pressed her lips against it before guiding him to her zipper behind her. Playing into his pride, she pulled herself closer to him once more almost panting, "Help," pushing the weight of her body against him as she whispered in his ear. The smell of oak and liquor filled her nostrils, sending her into overdrive. If he didn’t get the dress off she would have him get scissors and cut it off, time was fleeting and her servants could always make her another dress. Money was no object but his affections were something she had yearned for years now.

The more the night continued it more unreal it felt. Feeling feelings she hadn’t had in years. The ones she stored so deep inside herself she had almost forgotten about them. Despite never meeting she had dreamt of this moment when she was a teenager. Imagining it on their wedding night but a night of drunken passion would have to do for now, it was the best she could get to the dreams she once had. "Please gods, don’t wake me up." whispering in his ear not even realizing what she had said, lost in the moment as she pressed her lips lightly below his ear.

OOC: I switched her outfit to the slip underneath to help with the next post.