[PRP] Adagio (Oliver & Renard)

[shibrogane]

"Mm," agreed Renard. The corner of his mouth quirked. "So she is."

Renard took a deep breath, let it out slowly. "Your goal is to be able to achieve this same circumspect quality in your everyday," he said. "I find this helps me with my anxiety, as well as magical powers..."

He said, "What do you feel? Right now, here, in this moment."

Outside, a circling hawk stooped and caught a mouse up in its claws.

Melancholies

 

[Melancholies]

Oliver was nodding with his eyes closed, obviously listening, obviously zoned out considerably. "I feel... I dunno, calm?" He took a deep breath, let the air fill his lungs, relished in the exhale. "It's nice. Sort of like I'm in my own little world, but not? Like I'm aware, but—"

His words cut off abruptly, eyes not opening, but his face still twitched, his jaw went a little taught. When he focused on it, it felt like a blast of light—something bright, warm, thrumming—and then it was gone, extinguished, nothing. The mouse was there and then it was cold. Your goal is to be able to achieve this same circumspect quality in your everyday.

His expression went slack again. It would take some practice to keep from reacting, but perfection only came with time. He didn't become a pianist overnight, after all. "There was a mouse outside. It..." He murmured quietly, mostly to himself. "It's gone now."

shibrogane

 

[shibrogane]

Renard opened his eyes (for all Oliver wouldn't be able to tell) and said, "Ah." He didn't move, didn't even shift on his pouf. There was no sound to indicate he was watching Oliver. "Has anything materially changed? What do you hear now?"

The world was still quiet. Nothing seemed to note the mouse's passing but Oliver himself. The gulls continue to cry out to each other. Waves rolled in and out, lapping smoothly at the sand.

Sonny, downstairs, had gone quiet.

Melancholies

 

[Melancholies]

Something cold and aching still lingered in his mind, the death of the mouse trying to find traction on whatever surface it could. Instead he tried to focus on other things, or rather dispel the focus to everything else. The world was still turning, the wind was still blowing, people were—presumably—still going on about their daily lives.

"It's gone." He said again, though this time it was in a different context. "Everything is the same. Everything just keeps... moving on." He sniffed, but aside from the naturally clean smells of the study, nothing was different. "The ocean's still there, the seagulls are still calling out to each other..."

Now it was his lips that were quirking upwards. Life went on, but it seemed to still slightly for some. "She's quiet now, downstairs." He was silent. "But nothing's changed." Deep breath, quiet exhale.

shibrogane

 

[shibrogane]

"Precisely," said Renard. "It is tragic, when something dies. Anything, anyone. But the thing I will teach you--the most important thing--is to work past it. You have to be able to allow yourself to feel the pain and then pass through it." He smiled to himself. "Have you read Dune?"

Well, it was on the recommended reading list...

Melancholies

 

[Melancholies]

Oliver nodded, "Acknowledge it, accept it, and move past it." He was mumbling a little as he focused in on his breathing again, his heart, the birds and the wind and the whrr of the computers. Maybe Renard was onto something here about it helping with the anxiety. His skin wasn't pricking, wasn't itching, his mind wasn't set into overdrive.

His eyes did finally open when Renard asked his next question, eyes calm and a little droopy. Belatedly, his mind seemed to re-acquaint itself with the cooling tea and the snickerdoodles. "Dune? I've definitely heard of it. It was a vital publication for the genre of science fiction." He cleared his throat, "Though I'm admittedly not much of a science fiction fanatic. But it's definitely something I can look into." Why the relevance to this situation? "Why do you ask?"

shibrogane

 

[shibrogane]

Renard gestured, and the tea tray floated down to rest between them. "If you need the tea reheated, let me know," he said.

For the first time, Renard looked away, averting his gaze as if he were embarrassed. "It was helpful to me, as a younger man," he said. "In teaching me to take a longer view of the world, to move past what hurt me and look towards the future instead. I have always taken well to mantras, and there is a particularly good one in Dune: I shall not fear. Fear is the mind-killer. Fear is the little death that brings total obliteration. I will face my fear; I will permit it to pass over me and through me; and when it has passed, I will turn the inner eye to see its path. Where the fear has gone, there will be nothing. Only I will remain.

"It is this sort of thinking that you must cultivate, if you are to survive your powers and not go mad. The urge to argue with death for life will be overwhelming at times, but you must consider the consequences of your actions and accept your responsibility for them. Should you save a soul from passing over, you become responsible for that soul. All of the actions of that person will be as if they are yours, and their life only as long as yours." Renard sighed. "So it simply isn't tenable to save everyone. You will have to be able to face the fear of making that wrong choice and moving past it."

He smiled, a little shamefaced still. "Your assignment for next week will be to work on something similar to that litany for yourself."

Melancholies

 

[Melancholies]

Oliver was silent as he took a cup, his eyes wide and wondrous as Renard spoke. The consequences of his death sense weighed heavily within him like lead, but he still sat up straight, still mulled these words over genuinely, thoroughly. "It sounds like a wonderful read, then. I'll have to purchase a copy." The tea was just a little too cool for his tastes, but he wasn't complaining at all.

"It seems like a very heavy responsibility." He agreed, "But I won't shy away from it. For all the times that it might seem like a curse, there's going to be the one time where it comes as a blessing." Ollie took a sip, "I suppose that moment is going to make up for all the others."

It made him laugh, but it was quiet, almost the sort of laugh one had when they came to a realization. "Though I guess it's much easier to say that compared to practicing it. Still, I thank you for this advice." He seemed a little comforted—or calmed—or maybe... assured was the right word. It wouldn't be an easy path, but maybe it would be a plausible one.

shibrogane

 

[shibrogane]

"Precisely. You'll do well. We'll work together to ensure it." Renard folded one of the cookies in half and ate it, slowly, in small bites. "When you go, take the books on the window seat. I'll lighten them for you as you need."

Melancholies

 

[Melancholies]

"You can do that?" Oliver's eyes sparkled curiously, his innate urge for knowledge bleeding out like the inquisitive student he was, "I mean, it seems so minor in hindsight, but practical too." He gave the books a sideways glance. He didn't know very much about the man called Renard Leroux, but he knew he was on an entirely different caliber when it came to magical talent. Still, Oliver couldn't help but wonder if he might make it to the same ball park—same stadium—same parking lot—same city? Probably not ever, but it was a fun thought to have such an intrinsic relationship with magic. Then again, maybe one didn't need to be unnecessarily powerful for that.

"I do appreciate the good faith." He smiled, "Do we have enough time to glean over the syllabus right quick? I can always peruse it when I get home if not." He took a cookie for himself too; it wouldn't do to lie to Sonny, especially when she specifically asked for his opinion on the snickerdoodles.

shibrogane

 

[Ashdown Crier]

"Once you're familiar enough with the functions of magic, anything is possible," said Renard. "Provided you have consent or enough force of will to affect the world as desired." Renard smiled, then. "It helps to be as old as I am, of course. Mastery will come with time."

He nodded at Ollie's question about the syllabus, and pulled out another copy from... somewhere. "What questions do you have?"

Melancholies

MAY 3
Introduction + Meditation
Assignment: Read chapters 1-6 of Dune
Chapter 1 of Ethical Considerations for the Modern Necromancer
Chapters 3-5 of Wardcrafting
Chapter 1 of The Cagemaker's Conundrum
Application: Produce a mantra for use in high stress situations.
Practice your meditation at least once per day.

MAY 10
Meditation + Warding
Assignment: Read Chapters 2-4 of Ethical Considerations for the Modern Necromancer
Chapter 9 of Wardcrafting
Chapter 3 of The Cagemaker's Conundrum
Application: Read and summarize The Dilemma of Eurydice; be prepared to discuss

MAY 17
Meditation + Concerns of Magical Bonding
Assignment: Read Chapters 5-9 of Ethical Considerations for the Modern Necromancer
Chapters 4, 7, 15 of The Reality Dysfunction: Spellcasting in the Heroic Age
Chapter 4 of The Cagemaker's Conundrum
Application: 1500 words on when an action is morally obligatory versus morally supererogatory in reference to your abilities

MAY 24
No lesson; I will be in California for an art benefit

MAY 31
Meditation + Sympathetic Crafting
Assignment: Read chapter 10 of Ethical Considerations for the Modern Necromancer
Read What to Expect when You've Survived the Unsurvivable
Application: Respond to the hypothetical situation laid out in What to Expect. What is your responsibility to souls you've saved through your powers? How will you handle someone who didn't want to be restored to life?

 

[Melancholies]

"Nothing in particular," He replied, "It just helps me to review this sort of material is all."

He had his copy out again, eyes glossing over the text, words like Necromancer standing out to him along with the final lesson; How will you handle someone who didn't want to be restored to life? It was a damn good question. He took a languid sip of his tea.

"It's exciting." He told Renard with a smile, "I can't wait to see where I'll go with this."

shibrogane

we can ftb here! ty 4 rp