[PRP] Trash Bash (Oliver & Cassandra)

[demon_pachabel]

"Well, sorry little guy, Google hasn't told me what to do ne-" as she spoke, Cassandra turned around. She had expected a raccoon on her floor. What she got was a..a..

She shrieked and immediately ducked behind her counter in surprise. Some things she could handle being off. Slightly sapient raccoon? Got it. Mr Face trying to break down her door? Probably would have been fine. But she did not expect raccoons to turn slightly less raccoon-y. That was not in her department of 'prepared for this' and now she had to type feverisly into google again.

Google failed her again.

Melancholies

 

[Melancholies]

Somewhere the gates of heaven opened wide, and he had to wonder if this was simply destiny or if he was going home. Suddenly he was hit with a rush of clarity—he realized he was alive—and more important passed out in someone's house with a stomach full of lo mein. His eyes were fixated on the ceiling as he made a pathetic groggy sound, his body trying to move upright but only succeeding in flipping him over onto his stomach.

"Too much..." He bemoaned poetically to whoever would listen. His tail was incredibly poofy as it flicked in the air. His eyes slowly came into focus as he noticed the human girl standing behind the counter—or rather peeking—because she was attempting to hide.

He stared wide eyed.

demon_pachabel

 

[demon_pachabel]

The second Ollie flipped over, Cass nearly teleported across the room, retrieving Ted before carefully creeping back to her hiding spot, this time with a Roomba shield. Ted whrred at the air helplessly, wheels unmoving.

Google had failed her. Ted never failed her.

"Okay, did they put something in the Lo Mein?" she asked, more to herself as she slooooowly edged her way around her little kitchenette on her knees. "Did it turn you into a real boy?" Because clearly that was her solution. Her Lo Mein had Princess-and-the-'Coon'd him into being a half-coon prince that was in love with her floor.

Or with the Lo Mein.

Melancholies

 

[Melancholies]

Oliver continued to stare. He opened his mouth once to speak, but closed it, and opened it again, and closed it again. Somehow he wasn't dead, which was a plus. "I..." His voice was just as human as you'd expect it to be.

In a flurry of movement, he flipped himself onto his stomach (ow) and darted to the other side of the kitchen, his tail thrashing around anxiously. "D-Don't hit me with the roomba!" He wheezed pathetically. "I-I just wanted the noodles. They were so good." Another wheeze, "It's hard to control myself when I'm like this..."

Which wasn't a total lie.

demon_pachabel

 

[demon_pachabel]

And now the Coonman spoke.

Generally, one expected a human being to speak. But this human being had just been a raccoon. Cassandra hadn't be ready for anything that could be construed as grammatically accurate. As Oliver scrambled away, she looked down at the Roomba, then up at Oliver, then down at her Roomba.

She gently sat Ted down and he went 'whrrr'ing away to bump against her boxes.

"Ted was there to be my shield, actually...." she explained, trying to decide if she actually trusted this interaction or not yet. Cass eyeballed the tail, then carefully reached out to pull the styrofoam container of Lo Mein over to her. Not that there was much left. Would she even want to eat it after she'd let a raccoon touch it?

She'd consider it.

But first, she had important questions to ask: "Are you going to want the rest of this later or should I throw it away?"

A pause.

"Also are you a raccoon that turns into a boy or a boy that turns into a raccoon?"

At least one of those was an important question.

Melancholies

 

[Melancholies]

Oliver really wanted to say that he'd finish it, but he kept it to himself. He wasn't about to show any further lack of self control. If he made it out of this night alive, it would be a goddamn miracle.

"I'm a human that turns into a raccoon." He said sharply, but regretted it. "For like, once a week out of every month. It sucks." No point in hiding it now, though, no matter how bad of an idea he felt it was. He watched Ted meander around the room harmlessly.

"Looking at the lo mein kinda makes me sick." He admitted. "I ate too much..." That admission was a lot quieter, mostly because he was embarrassed. "I'm just gonna, uh..."

He made a motion backwards towards the door, his form scooting backwards slowly.

demon_pachabel

 

[demon_pachabel]

She already liked him a little bit better as a raccoon. "So you get a...werewolf week of sorts." Cass kind of meant the joke on purpose, but if it was bypassed, she'd let it go. "That's good to know. Now I know that is a thing." Considering everything, she was handling this rather well now that she wasn't panic-typing into Google for help. Quietly, she shut the top of the Lo Mein container. "OK, well..." she noted that it was going to go into the trash mentally.

She didn't need raccoon cooties. Especially not ones who were now boys.

Cass watched as he slowly scooted towards the door, frowning. "Do you want some help? Are you going to be ok?" she asked, holding in the desire to ask if he'd be able to get past the trash cans without being tempted to start rooting around for more to eat. She was going to be good. Don't antagonize the poor thing.

Guy.

Not coon.

Coonguy.

"I can at least walk ya home or something."

Melancholies

 

[Melancholies]

That was probably a pretty normal reaction. Oliver was sort of an insufferable p***k as a person; at least as a raccoon he was fluffy and relatively harmless. Relatively. "The kind of help I need." He said very grimly, "Is beyond what I'll ever be able to attain." Get off your ******** podium, Shakespeare.

He sighed and stopped his scooting, opting instead to hug his frame. His ears wiggled on either side of his head. "It's during the full moon, okay? I didn't choose this." He made a huffy sort of sound. "Most don't, unless you get bit. I heard it can spread if that happens." He looked at Cass, "Not that I'm planning on biting you or anything. I don't wanna bother you into walking me home either, so—"

His eyes became huge as Ted whirred by. It didn't touch him, but it was still a little too close for comforts. Something about roombas just... made his nerves and his instincts little wild.

demon_pachabel

 

[demon_pachabel]

Cass's eyes narrowed. Yeah, with that sort of attitude he'd definitely never get the help he needed. She kept that to herself, though. Instead, she folded her arms. "Well I'd feel less worried if you let me walk you home. Since it's dark out. Or I can give you a ride if you don't mind cars that have seen better days." Oh her little Prism. She did love it some days. It was probably due to go out to pasture at some point, though.

"I'm pretty sure if you were going to bite me, it would have happened already anyways." she tapped her fingers into the crook of her elbow idly, looking between Oliver and Ted as the young man eyed the robot with a look she would peg from a mile away. She nudged Ted back towards her boxes with her foot.

Melancholies

 

[Melancholies]

"I wasn't threatening you." He huffed with a roll of his eyes, "I wouldn't wish this s**t on anyone. You know what it's like? You start getting these weird animal urges, someone tells you you're a moonwalker, and you're like 'man, I bet I'm a goddamn werebear or something, or a werecougar', and then here comes the full moon and it's like God himself descends from the heavens to give you a big personal <******** you." Oliver was not happy with being a raccoon, it seemed. "Big ol' middle finger, probably goes 'You are what you eat, sinner!'." He seemed exasperated as he hugged his knees to his chest.

"If it really bothers you, you can give me a ride." He admittedly quietly, "It'd probably be better anyway. If someone non-magic catches me..." His ears flicked, "Wait, are you magic?"

demon_pachabel

 

[demon_pachabel]

"I didn't say you were. I'm simply saying if you had wanted to, there had already been ample opportunity so you didn't need to defend yourself from unmade accusations." still, it seemed that Oliver had very strong opinions about being a raccoon. Namely in that he didn't like being a raccoon. She listened, standing up as she moved to throw away the rest of the Lo Mein (she didn't need to risk Werecoon spit turning her into a trash panda. Then there would just be a weird pair of Coons running around town and it would be strange. It'd match her personality tho).

"That's what I'll do then. It's dark out and I feel like it would be safer and I'm offering," Cass leaned against the counter, looking down at the huddling part-cook prince on the floor with a half smile. His inquiry made the smile vanish slightly. "Hell if I know. I haven't noticed anything, but I've also heard it's subtle so...." she trailed off. "Will you get in trouble if I'm not?"

Melancholies

 

[Melancholies]

It was probably a smart idea, tossing the Lo Mein away (good bye, sweet prince). It was a tragedy, but some sacrifices were necessary for the greater good of things. "No, I won't." He shrugged, "But you might. People don't like magic that much, right? I guess you're not wrong about it being subtle though." Oliver sighed, "When it started for me, I just kept finding pills in my pockets."

Pause.

"Ibuprofen." He clarified quickly. "I've found that once you notice it's taken a hold, however, the quicker it starts to snowball into stuff you can't control." His were-syndrome. Shiloh being a noble. The list went on.

demon_pachabel

 

[demon_pachabel]

Cass's brows noticeably raised when Oliver said 'pills'. "Must be handy if you have a lot of headaches, I'd imagine." Or whatever other use you were giving pills that day. Whichever. "I can't say I've noticed anything even slightly off, but.." she slowly shrugged. "Doesn't really bother me either way. And trust me, anybody who was to give me grief for that would face...well.." she slammed a closed fist into an open palm.

"I got the scars to prove it too." Namely one that went from the middle of her back around her side and ended under one breast. Not that anybody could see that right then.

"So yeah, lemme know when you're ready and I'll take you home."

Melancholies

 

[Melancholies]

Ollie blinked, and then he snorted. "You sound like my brother." He said after a moment, but it did well to settle his nerves down a little rather than intimidate him. He shook his head and kept from saying anything else on the matter. If there was one thing he'd learned, it was that you couldn't dissuade stubborn aggressive assholes.

"We can go now." He said as he slowly stood up, his tail flicking and his ears swiveling as he tried to find his balance. "I appreciate it. Uh, the ride I mean." He scratched the back of his head, "The lo mein too. Shame you threw the rest away." But he also recognized that he didn't need the rest of it either.

"Oh." His eyebrows raised, "I'm uh... Oliver."

demon_pachabel

 

[demon_pachabel]

"Oof. Tell your brother I'm sorry he's being compared to me." Cass smiled and winked to indicate she was joking (but seriously, she was sorry he had to be compared to her. Yikes).

As Oliver got up, Cassandra pushed off of her counter. "S'not a problem. I wouldn't offer if it was inconvenient. And to be fair, I can always get more Lo Mein. I'd feel bad releasing you out into the dark night by yourself just to hear you got hurt or something." As she talked, she pulled on a pair of slip-on shoes. Rather, a pair of sneakers that had been worn into being such a thing. No socks, just the hopes they wouldn't ruin her heels.

She picked up her keys as Oliver introduced himself. "Cassandra. It's nice to meet you." She paused and heavily considered it before adding, "And my roomba is Ted, but I don't think it cares for formalities like that." She shrugged.

Melancholies