[PRP] Tunnel of No (Alexis & Preacher)

[The Semblance of Unity]

Quote:

AREA TWO
As you come around the bend clouds blow in, hiding the ground and water. Building tops are visible, the moon high in the sky (does it have a face? is it singing?) as a pair dances across the clouds without a care in the world, their eyes only on each other. They dance and eventually have a romantic moment on top of a giant elephant.

It’s a little weird.

6 - a slightly chill breeze blows through, making you want to press close to one another (or hug yourself).

"Yeah, if ya did I wouldn't touch you with a ten ********' foot pole." The boat moved forward and Preacher wondered how they used real feathers would them getting moldy and s**t.  

[Daekie]

"Preacher Maria, professional puppy-kicker, I'll make sure t'update your resume..."

Alexis averted their eyes from the singing moon and dancing duo, scowling without any real heart to it, tempted - but ultimately denying the urge - to blow a raspberry right at Preacher's face. Or the ugly moon's face. Ew.

The Semblance of Unity

 

[The Semblance of Unity]

"I ain't never kicked a puppy, you take that back!" Preacher loved animals greatly, just not weres. It was a stark difference.

"What the ******** are they doin' on that elephant.... PETA would have a ********' field day..."

daekie

 

[Daekie]

"If Zac turned into a puppy would you kick him," Alexis pressed, mischievous, and the swan boat moved onwards. "Would you kick that elephant? I'd punch an elephant. I'd punch anything." It was the self-assured tone of someone who would, if presented with the possibility, absolutely punch God.

The boat moved onwards.

"...This is a little better, I guess. If they kiss I want a refund."

The Semblance of Unity

AREA THREE
Leaving the pair of dancers behind, the sound of swords clashing and fighting fills the air. Not all the parts of the ride are apparently for the disgustingly romantic sort and instead, it’s a battle as two people fight back to back, prepared to do whatever it takes to keep the other safe and see them live through the day.

A large beast appears after they’ve knocked down their foes and, with a battle cry, they charge an face it together. The scene fades as the boat is once more pulled forward on its watery path.

 

[The Semblance of Unity]

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4 - stepping forward from the scene (out of nowhere), the something that runs the ticket booth appears and hands over a romantic present (your choice of present to give to your partner or keep for yourself!)

"Well, I punched a dude tha other day." She paused. "I think I broke 'is nose." She peered at the fighting scene presented to them. "This one's better, marginally." The people ran off to fight some weird beast and the ride operator stepped forward. He handed Preacher a stuffed patchwork animal with a stitched on heart.

Preacher took it without thought. "Uhhh, I think it for ya, Alexis." She shoved it at them.

daekie

 

[Daekie]

"Who'd you punch," Alexis wondered, trying to sound uninterested and aloof and slightly failing. They scrutinized the plush with narrowed eyes, taking it out of reflex --

"What kinda animal is this supposed to be??? Is this a ferret or something? What the ********." (It was kind of cute, actually, but they weren't about to say that around Preacher.)

The boat hadn't moved yet. Maybe it was waiting for some sort of romantic declaration.

The Semblance of Unity

 

[The Semblance of Unity]

Quote:

AREA FOUR
The lighting dims, the flicker of a fireplace the only thing that illuminates the area. There’s a couple sitting close to one another on a stuffed unicorn. The boat does not linger long in this area, instead only giving you a glimpse as things appear to be getting heated quite quickly.

4 - stepping forward from the scene (out of nowhere), the something that runs the ticket booth appears and hands over a romantic present (your choice of present to give to your partner or keep for yourself!)

"Some moonwalker kid - I didn't stay to get his name." She shrugged, though she kind of felt horribly guilty. She poked the stuffed animal. "It's an abomination. ******** you," she said to the attendant and the boat began to move.

It drifted through the water to their next scene. Preacher made an exaggerated gagging noise and clapped her hand over Alexis' eyes. "Save yer purity eyes, Alexis! It's too horrible!"

daekie

 

[Daekie]

Water rose up, irritated, and slapped the hand Preacher had over Alexis' eyes -- their fingers were still tracing through the water, gently over the side. "Why would they ******** on a unicorn," they complained, "that'd be crazy uncomfortable, what the hell." They seemed more concerned with the logistics of it, really. "It's some sort of shitty ferret, I worked at a pet store when I was sixteen, I'd know."

The ride operator leaned out from behind the stuffed unicorn, politely placed a heart-shaped box covered with elaborate red patterning and labeled 'liquor-filled chocolates' on Preacher's lap, and ducked back behind the unicorn.

The boat moved onwards.

The Semblance of Unity

 

[The Semblance of Unity]

Quote:

AREA FIVE
As the ride comes to the last area, the path of the boat becomes unclear- water is everywhere. There are small craggy rocks in the water, flowering vines hanging from above, and the drip of what sounds like a deep cave.

Yet that feeling ends as one by one, paper lanterns start floating by and then a few float down from above landing in the water and continuing down the path the boat came from. In the distance you think you see another boat and another pair but look away as you realize they’re just about to kiss.

5 - an eerie voice echoes through the ride. it sounds barely human and everything in the area seems to darken ominously.

Preacher dropped her hand when the water slapped at it. "Unicorns don't seem real comfy, I think. Ain't people supposed to do it on a fur rug in front o' tha fire or some bullshit?" She looked at the chocolates dubiously. "I'm underage." The boat drifted onwards, aimlessly, boringly. Preacher sighed loudly.

"This is ********' boring." Lanterns floated down and lit up the water around them. She guess it was supposed it was supposed to be romantic. "I think people are hereabouts to kiss." She sighed again, even louder than before.

daekie

 

[Daekie]

"So'm I," Alexis snorted, and tugged the chocolates out of Preacher's hands. "Gimme." They'd open them later, if Preacher was going to shy away from underaged alcoholism like a baby. Psssh. The only thing preventing both of them from being underaged drinkers was that Alexis didn't look their age, not really (stress aged you and a few gray hairs didn't help), and they had a strong feeling that the ride operator wasn't going to mind.

"This is so ******** grosssss," they moaned, and slumped backwards onto Preacher. "Ew ew ew. Ew." If something crackling echoed through their ears, some dark smoky voice like a noose around your neck, too quiet to distinguish but perfectly audible all the same -- if the lights dimmed in a way that was a little too disquieting to be dramatic -- Alexis paid it no heed.

The Semblance of Unity

 

[The Semblance of Unity]

Quote:

next bit for whenever

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If things do not go well and the ride malfunctions … The swan boat creaks and protests, the sounds of gears grinding as you hear rushing water. Looking over the side you realize that a whirlpool (what the hell?!) is forming right underneath the swan boat and there’s no way to get away from it, some force trapping you in the boat. The boat, along with you, are sucked down into the whirlpool …

Only to blink your eyes and realize you are outside once more. Standing in cold water of a small picturesque pond that was nearby. A overly done archway is above you (it’s supposed to be romantic) and flowers and vines hang down from above all over again. You hear the snap of a camera but see nothing. Yet as you step out of the pond, to dry off and make sure you’re not covered in flowers, you feel something in your pocket. You reach in and discover that there’s a photo-booth style set of pictures of you (and whomever you went with) that have been done up with that super kawaii phone app. There’s also a bag of candy hearts in your other pocket. For once they taste amazing.

Preacher rolled her eyes. She worked for the ********' PD and couldn't do bullshit like that anymore. It was tempting to try and snatch them back, but she didn't want to risk a bite.

When Alexis slumped back, she barely managed to not tip over. She shoved at them ineffectually. "********, ya damn heavy. And this is less gross and more boring. Why ain't things movin'?" She ignored the sinister voice. "Oh look, there's another boat. KISS HER YA ********!" She cupped her hands around her mouth as she yelled. Their boat was moving just fine...

"Ew what if they stopped it cause' they want people ta kiss?" She gave Alexis a look. "C'mere."

daekie

 

[Daekie]

"I'll bite yer lips off," Alexis scowled, tossing their hair dramatically back over their shoulder into Preacher's face. "'m I'm not heavy --"

The boat creaked menacingly, a few feathers snapping off, and they shrugged. "Oh, thank god, sweet freedom. You can swim, right? If you can't, don't worry 'bout it." Alexis' eyes drifted closed, their breathing pointedly even, hands pulled back into their pockets. "We're probably not gonna die. I don't think that's usually romantic, right?"

The Semblance of Unity

 

[The Semblance of Unity]

"******** you too," she muttered. And then she stared over the side of the boat. Stared hard. Preacher screeched.

"WHAT THE ********!? How're ya so ********' zen holy s**t I'm too hot to ********' die you better know how to ******** float, ya dickweed." Preacher's hands latched onto Alexis with a death grip. This was the worst.

daekie

 

[Daekie]

"I can breathe underwater," Alexis said, half-heartedly trying to jerk out of Preacher's grasp (but not really, it was just a residual impulse, easily squashed), with the tone of someone who was baffled it hadn't been immediately obvious.

"This probably ain't actually dangerous - " water spray hit them in the face, dotting their bangs - "n' if it is, I'll deal with it." There were droplets sprinkling away from their arms like the fabric was hydrophobic --

the boat creaked twice, pointedly, and began to accelerate down into the whirlpool.

"Y'ain't that hot, either."

The Semblance of Unity

 

[The Semblance of Unity]

"I hate ya so ********' much," she said, and then they were dragged down.

----

Preacher opened her eyes slowly. Her feet were ********' freezing and she stood thigh high in a pond of all places. Her head swiveled, looking for Alexis. "Tha ******** did you do?"

daekie