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 Posted: Thu Oct 23, 2014 4:42 pm
"Up in trees? I've never seen a lumberjack in a tree. Then again, I don't look up in trees. Too high. I guess they could be up there, but I thought they cut them down instead of climbing up on them." He was a bit confused, but no lumberjacks ever came to his territory so maybe they had all be run off instead.
Zar's family sounded just as fancy and well off as Barth's and sounded a bit the same. "So your uncle and your father have their own wings? Wow. I don't know what I'd do with an entire wing. That would be....a lot of rooms?" He said, looking at Zar to confirm his assumption.
"And your mom has a penthouse? What did you have? Did you have a wing too?" He asked, and was curious where everyone slept and how they even talked to each other.
"How do you see each other? I would wonder were everyone was so far away from me. I don't even know what to do with my own room upstairs. Its so big and....just....a lot of space." He bit his lpi a moment. "...I thought cabins meant we all shared a room." He said with a tone of disappointment.
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Posted: Thu Oct 23, 2014 5:18 pm
"I don't think you pay a lot of attention to a lot of things." Zar said consolingly, patting Calder's arm while his tail continued tenderly stroking his other one. "So maybe the lumberjacks have just eluded you the way so many other things have."
"And yes, they do. And it is a great number of rooms. I did not have a wing, but my father primarily inhabits the earth beneath his wing. He has a hive, of sorts, it stretches beneath the grounds and the manor itself. I grew up primarily on my own in the house. My uncle is not easy to find either, he kept himself to himself and I was never permitted to visit while he was entertaining guests. Mostly it was a lot of rooms and a lot of quiet."
He shrugged his shoulders. "I suppose the answer is that we didn't see one another. My father would leave me tasks and if I had not completed them I would be punished. The rest of my time was spent simply trying to keep myself from being lonely. I had pathetic things like imaginary friends."
The Incubus looked disturbed. "I can say that if we all shared a room I would not be sleeping again any time soon. I do not trust Christof and I do not yet fully trust you either." he pouted rather bitchily. "Creeping around after dark, for instance."
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Posted: Thu Oct 23, 2014 6:02 pm
"That's not true." He grumbled. "I pay attention to a lot of things. Just…not things people seem to care all that much about." It made more sense to him to notice when someone was angry or upset and to console his friends, but everyone else around him had different attitudes and feelings than his. He never knew if this was because of their species with him as the only monster or because he was just odd.
"Oh, that doesn't sound nice at all. My parents talked to me every day when growing up…but, I didn't know anyone else either. I don't think imaginary friends are pathetic at all. I think they are nice. I had them too. That and the leeches and Grems, the frog." And later Glumps, the dead frog. "That's how Fester and I became friends." Though most would consider a leech sucking on you at a young age to just be a nuisance, he had seen the creature and instantly saw it as a friend that didn't want to let go of him.
"There were no other kelpies in the territory I was kept at. They weren’t allowed near where we lived. The fauns didn't like me either. They sometimes invited me places but they usually ran off and left me alone." It was more entertaining for the fauns to tease him than to actually involve him and he soon grew too hurt to fall for their trips – but only after many, many, many times of trying to win their favor.
Calder turned to look at the tail, smiling as it continued to stroke him as if asking for attention, which Calder gave by petting a curve.
He turned only when Zar's tone pointed out he didn't trust him enough to sleep near him and that he was beign sneaky. "Oh…that um…well…I wasn't like…sneaking. I mean. It was past midnight so it was…still consider my day so….it's just I wasn't sleeping anyways and…no one else wanted to be with me..." He glanced at Zar and then back down. "...and well..."
He looked around and leaned in a bit to Zar, raising a hand to his mouth to whisper at him. "I've never traveled to a new territory without a herd before." He leaned back and looked at him, embarrassed. He looked down and petted the tail again.
"I can't sleep good when I'm not with someone to be another pair of ears. I get worried. There are too many…noises and smells and the tub water feels different. I don't want to upset Barth though. It's his cabin. I just…needed a familiar smell …a person nearby…so I can feel safe enough to sleep...and I was so hoping we could have a slumber party." He mumbled, sad and grumpy that it didn't turn out that way. Disappointed, he whispered. "..I'm never going to be invited to a slumber party."
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Posted: Thu Oct 23, 2014 6:24 pm
"Well you don't seem to pay attention to the right things." Zar said matter-of-factually. His needs were of course the right things to be paying attention to. "Maybe you need to try a little harder."
The Incubus wasn't proud of having to resort to friends that didn't exist, even if Calder seemed to have made his peace with his own situation. For him it had been a weakness, and his father had been very angry indeed when he'd told him. Imagination was not allowed, it was a waste of time and energy. When he heard that Zar had invented an imaginary friend he simply upped his workload so he would never have time to play with them or indulge it. "There was no one else at my home other than the Help and they were not permitted to speak to me. My father's insects also moved around the home but they paid me no heed either."
He was completely derailed as Calder touched his tail, a shiver running along the entire tail and the rest of him, the end twisting itself around Calder's hand and squeezing his wrist encouragingly.
Zar closed off however, crossing his arms. "It was still sneaking." he said coldly. It had been one-upping him and no amount of trying to wriggle out of it was acceptable to him. "Yes well it certainly says a lot that you will simply deal with your own problems without a single concern for the emotions of others."
Bitterly he added. "And probably not. I wouldn't invite you."
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Posted: Thu Oct 23, 2014 6:36 pm
Calder just looked at Zar and then frowned, but it was not a frown of being sad but of being angry. "What?"
He kept his hand out for the tail to touch, but just flat out glared at Zar. "I asked everyone if they wanted company and no one said yes. I asked you and you said you didn't want it in front of everyone. You said it was ridiculous! So how is that not being concerned about the emotions of others when I gave everyone the opportunity to sleep with me last night?"
While Zar hurt him by telling him time and time again that he didn't' trust him or want him around, Calder did not put up with anyone saying he didn't care about others. "What part of last night said I didn't care? I came to you when you were upset. I made dinner because I wanted everyone to be happy, and you didn't even stay for cupcakes. I checked to see if you were okay when your chair broke and you yelled at me. If anything, it says a lot about you that you won't even tell me what makes you mad and yet you keep getting angry at me."
He huffed and turned to the tail, which he found better company. "I'm allowed to feel bad in a new place. I'm allowed to seek comfort when I feel bad. I don't hide in my room when that happens when there is someone around that can make me feel better and won't bother them." He petted the tail some more.
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Posted: Thu Oct 23, 2014 6:56 pm
"You ranked everyone the same - just things to be used for your own personal satisfaction, to keep you from being lonely." And in some ways he envied that, being able to openly pursue the things you wanted had to be enjoyable. He could never be direct about anything. "And of course I would say no in front of everyone, I loathe Christof for a start. And Barth. Well. It is complicated. If you ask me anything in front of people, chances are I will say the opposite of what you want me to say." He shrugged flippantly.
"It is easy to run around after people and to make dinner. It is another thing to actually pay attention to them and give them value." His tail tensed a little more unfriendly. "And you relentlessly and openly seize Barth when you are not the only person with some sort of vested interest in him." He narrowed his eyes. "I am aware you have first stake, first claim, first everything, I do not refute that. But I do take umbrage at having it thrown in my face."
His tail slunk off back to curl around his own body. "You most certainly are allowed to do whatever you like and you do it with abandon. "
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Posted: Thu Oct 23, 2014 7:06 pm
"That's so stupid! Why would you say the opposite of something when asked when that might not be what you want to say? How am I supposed to figure out anything if that's how you are thinking? You get mad at me because YOU are the one not saying what you want? That's not even fair!" He shouted, growing more and more upset. Calder was used to dealing with difficult and confusing. He dealt with it a lot with Christof, but this was just a new territory of irritating that he was having a hard time dealing with. How was he supposed to gain any ground in being friends with Zar is Zar was the one setting up traps. "It's like you are working against me. You don't even want to be my friend if this is what you are doing. It's not even not trusting me. It's like you want to do everything not to like me. That's so mean!"
He just felt more and more hurt. It wasn't even Zar not liking him, it was Zar not liking him enough to keep Calder from even getting a little bit close with any good intentions he had.
"So what if I go to Barth when I want to. He's my boyfriend too. That doesn't mean we can't have him at the same time. It doesn't mean you can't hang off him too. I'm not stopping you from doing anything. You just seem grumpy at him and then you get grumpy at me just because I love him. I'm not going to be cold to Barth because you don't like it. I'd hang on you too if you let me but you're too much of a butt-face. If you even said that you wanted to be with Barth and wanted alone time, then all you had to do was say something. I'm not throwing anything in your face by being with Barth. I'm with Barth because I like being with Barth, and I do what I want because that's just what people do."
"I don't even know what YOU want though."
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Posted: Thu Oct 23, 2014 7:13 pm
Zar knew that Calder wouldn't get it. He didn't know why he bothered. "If you say so." he waved a hand dismissively. "Though I assure you I am not expending any more effort not liking you than I do on anyone else. I would not even be explaining this to anyone else."
He shook his head. "What I want is an end to this conversation." he said and stood, his tail twisting about him defensively, his wings hooked in front of his chest like a cloak. "I am going back to my room."
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Posted: Thu Oct 23, 2014 7:20 pm
Calder as even more upset, but not that Zar just didn't even seem to care about him. It was almost like he was not even important and bordering on being ignored. Zar would rather be in hsi room alone than even around him, and that just - really dug at him.
"FINE!" he said, crossing his arms and throwing himself back into the couch, glaring down at the table and the pile of protection charms. "Do whatever you want. If you like being alone rather than spending time with me, if you think that's better, that AIR is better than me being around, then FINE. Fine to all of it! Fine with you not caring about me trying to figure you out. Fine with you being upset about everything I do. I'll just sit here and ......"
Then he got an idea. "Think of what I'll be wearing for dinner." He said.
If Zar was going to be mean, then he would just do whatever he damn well wanted. In the grand scheme of things, Calder that would have Zar saying something than ignoring him.
He'd get him to pay attention.
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Posted: Thu Oct 23, 2014 7:23 pm
Zar gave Calder a cool glare. "Air doesn't constantly make me feel awful. So you do that." Yes of course he'd want to sit and think about what he'd be wearing. Of course.
He turned to head upstairs again, muttering to himself. "Bimbo."
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Posted: Thu Oct 23, 2014 7:24 pm
Calder threw a cushion at Zar.
"I'm not a Bimbo and you make me feel awful!" He shouted back, looking over the back of the couch at him. "I'm not deaf!"
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Posted: Thu Oct 23, 2014 7:27 pm
Zar marched right back and put the cushion back on its place on the couch. "Just stupid then, sorry, easy mistake to make." he snarled.
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Posted: Thu Oct 23, 2014 7:32 pm
Calder took another cushion and threw it at Zar. "I'm not stupid! I know lots of things, and I know you just want me to feel bad! You keep saying how I should be acting and work harder but you don't even want to listen to how bad you make creeple feel."
"You said you can't trust me but it's like you don't want to trust me."
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Posted: Thu Oct 23, 2014 7:37 pm
Zar picked up the cushion and brandished it at Calder. "That's not how this works, that's not how any of this works!" he said angrily. "I can't trust you because you are stupid and arrogant. Trusting someone means actually having faith in them to at least have some of your interests at heart. You are not smart enough to have my interests at heart, you can't be trusted with them so you can't be trusted at all."
He put that cushion determinedly back in its spot. "You deserve to feel bad."
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Posted: Thu Oct 23, 2014 7:42 pm
With Zar placing cushions back, Calder went for the bowl of protection charms and started tossing them one by one at Zar. "How am I supposed to know what your interest are when every time I try, you think I'm too mean or stupid to care about them? You block me from even getting close to anything and then call me names when I fail. I don't know what to do here! I want you to like me! I .."
His eyes welled up, and he felt himself choke up. "I don't want you to ignore me but you just keep hurting me just like all those fauns did."
He threw a few more charms at him, but they were starting to loose their focus as he started to cry. "I....I may not be rich or have fancy demon schoolin but I'm not stupiddddddd." He whined before taking the whole bowl of charms and throwing them at Zar.
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