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[The Arena]________Fanfiction & Fanart & Original Creations

[Fanfiction][FMA]{Royed}

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lil_bea

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Posted: Mon Apr 03, 2006 5:15 am

roy-ed is..... weird.... but i have nothing against it.

Posted: Mon Apr 03, 2006 9:43 pm

Keep going.... I kinda liked it... But I like it better when Ed is more resistant.... Or when Roy is... It makes it nice

Sword-Blade

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R.A.E.

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Posted: Tue Apr 04, 2006 4:53 pm

Very fluffy. You have a very interesting way of portraying Roy and Ed together, and I was a little put off at the begining, but your writing style is coming along nicely. One thing, though. You should try to lengthen the chapters, they're really short.

Ed: What. Did. You. Call. Me? stressed

Lol.

Posted: Mon Apr 10, 2006 1:57 pm

when I started writing it I wanted people to question who "my lover" could be. Cuz I was studying, in my mind, there area few characters that have dark hair and eyes. Greed, kimbly, archer, roy, adn maybe hughes...but I was heading towards roy anyway, and my other shapters are kinda longer. i'll finish typing chapter two.

stepinahalf

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stepinahalf

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Posted: Mon Apr 10, 2006 2:27 pm

stepinahalf

OK, and now onto

Chapter 2

"that was close..." I sighed as I walked to the window, "you need to stay out when I tell you to..." He smiled down at me, "Silly little boy, your brother wouldn't have found me..." "I'm not little! And you tried to get back in!" "Shh..." He smiled as he pet my long blond hair, "we don't want that little brother of yours to hear you..." I sighed and laid my head against his chest, "Yeah...You're right. Al can't know about us. Nobody can." I wrapped my arms around his waist. I smiled up at him, and he smiled back don at me "I have to start packing...knowing Al, he'll ant to go ASAP and 'Colonel Mustang' needs to know that I'm going to leave for a couple days. " We both laughed at the comment. "Although, he may already know..." I smirked at him, " don't you think you should be getting to work. Everyone is going to get suspicious on why every day you come in late. and they'll just pile up more paperwork for you to do." His eyes widened, "Yea...you're right...damn..." I let go of him and he hurried to the door. He quickly turned around and walked back to me, "I love you, Edward Elric." He smiled sweetly and bent down so we could share a long passionate kiss before he left. After he closed the door I glanced out the window behind me and on the ground in front of me, I saw my brother, his head turned upwards towards me. I heard him faintly say, "Bro-brother?" I gasped and quickly ran outside to him, only wearing my blue boxers.
(I will finish later ^^)

"I thought you were going to call Winry, Al..." I smiled up at him, but he turned his head squeakily away from me, "Brother, did you actually do what i thought you did whit who I think that was?" I laughed at him, ""what?! I have not done anything today other than take a shower,"with Roy "and talk to you," Then I kissed Roy, with you staring at me. I wanted to tell him, but I wasn't sure how he would react to knowing such a thing about his only big brother. Al knew by my tone that I was lying to him. "riiight, brother..." He said sarcastically, "I saw you!" He pointed at the window. I glanced up ,at my towering, seven foot tall, little brother, "Alphonse...please, you can't tell anyone." Al jumped away from me, "EWWW!" He waved his hands in front of him, "Brother, How could you do that?! With HIM. I always thought you hated him. Ho- How long have you two been...together?" I sighed and ran my auto-mail fingers through my hair, "A while actually. And the hate, was just a little charade." I gazed directly into his glowing eyes, "You...don't hate me? Do you, Al?" Al shook his head, 'Icould never hate you, brother...But," he paused, "I would like it if you could stop seeing him." I laughed again, "I can't do that, Al..."
((I'll finish later, too lazy at the moment))

Posted: Fri Apr 21, 2006 4:39 pm

Hmm, its pretty good, kind of......direct. True, your writing is improving, however, I think its kinda difficult to read in just a block of words. Put in paragraphs, and it will be easier to follow and read.