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medigel rolled 1 8-sided dice:
4
Total: 4 (1-8)
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Posted: Sat Aug 31, 2013 4:19 pm
Delicious.
It was almost repulsive how happy he felt to be cut like that, to be struck by her. Shik always delighted in a battle, but he found something more perversely satisfying when it was Shaheen attacking him for some reason. Maybe because they both approached a fight with the same focus and passion--sometimes in an unhealthy manner.
Right now, he had a different but no less unhealthy impulse going on.
Shaheen's confusion, however, took some of the pleasure out of it. "Got to be joking me," he cursed with a roll of his eyes. "You forgot that of all things, Shaheen?" It was too convenient--had she not looked edging towards desperate, he wouldn't have believed her even.
HP: 44 Defending for: 4
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Seussi rolled 8 4-sided dice:
4, 2, 1, 2, 3, 4, 3, 4
Total: 23 (8-32)
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Posted: Sat Aug 31, 2013 7:41 pm
Aggravating. Of course he wasn't going to answer her, but instead chose to berate, striking out at her with words instead of his blade. And that was the second problem, the fact that he refused to counter attack, instead standing idly by and waiting for her to slash at him again.
Well, she would hate to disappoint.
Teeth still bared she eyed him warily, circling as she often did but keeping on her guard in case he struck out at her with a surprise attack. She didn't know what he was up to, what he was even about anymore. All that hard work, all of that time spent trying to read him, to figure him out, wasted. "I do not know what you are talking about. Why do you have to be so exasperating?" Of course, even while saying as such, she felt it. An icy cold grip on her heart, a confession that she didn't want to make not because she was afraid of what it might mean that she did so, but because she was afraid of another thing altogether. Rejection. Knowing that there was no possible way that he felt the same way that she did. She'd been holding on to these feelings for so long, too long, denying their existence, making herself believe it was always something else.
And now she felt trapped, backed into a corner, and the only way out was to fight. Fight or admit. Which would she rather do?
Her blade began to glow yellow as her Fear was concentrated, shoved into her weapon, imbuing it with power that she could practically feel in the air. She held it slightly higher, knowing that it would not last, that she needed to strike fast and quick.
She stood still, just a moment too long, just long enough for it to be a noticeable hesitation to the trained eye of a warrior, as though still unsure, even now, even with her weapon held in hand, her breathing heavy, her expression like that of a wild animals more then anything else.
She attacked, charging him, grabbing for the hilt of her sword with two hands, screaming out a war cry before she plunged it downward, and there was something sickeningly satisfying about the motion, about being able to attack that which was causing her so much mental and emotional distress.
And then she let go, her hands flying away from the hilt, fingers spreading, as she took a step back. The blade was no longer needed, and it disappeared.
"I love you." The words were quiet, barely above a whisper, but to her they thundered in her ears. They were words she hadn't to her own recollection, ever said before now, even if Shik hinted that she had. If she had...then this didn't matter. If she hadn't, then....then saying it now would be her final show of strength.
Her confession.
She awaited the repercussions of this admittance with a head that was held high, refusing to look away from him, completely still save for a heart that felt as though it might beat out of her chest.
HP: 50 Damage: 19 (15 after defense)
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medigel rolled 7 4-sided dice:
1, 3, 1, 3, 4, 3, 1
Total: 16 (7-28)
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Posted: Sun Sep 01, 2013 6:25 pm
He wanted to dangle it more over her, but the sight of her initiating her Fear told him this was a nerve struck fast and hard--which could also be said about the aforementioned charge. He grunted with the effort it took to maintain his defense, but Shaheen's strike was too powerful to fully fend off and it sent him staggering back. Shield of not, it was painful enough that he almost imagined the weapon breaking his shield.
It was annoying enough that she had conveniently forgotten--it was worse when she decided to say it again.
His anger spiked again without warning, turning furious with how soft she turned with three simple words. "You told me it was a waste," Shik spat. "During the Voice's task at the first resting area, you muttered it in passing and said it was a joke, that you wanted to forget." He was shaking slightly, hands twitching as if trying to summon his weapon and somehow forgetting how to, staring at her with her gods damn calm look and her head held high like it was nothing at all, and he wanted to rip it all down and get away and yell all at once because he hated how that made him feel.
"And now I suppose you have," he growled darkly, teeth bared and feathers stiffening behind him.
HP: 29 Fear: Y2 BC fail (of course it does)
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Seussi rolled 2 10-sided dice:
6, 8
Total: 14 (2-20)
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Posted: Sun Sep 01, 2013 7:28 pm
She had nothing to regret. That's what she told herself as she stood there. Yes, the words had been quiet, and in fact she had almost choked on them. She hadn't ever intended to say it out loud though, or so her memories would have her believe. She didn't wish for him to know the extent of her feelings, did not want him to use it against her, and for a very long time, had denied their existence even to herself.
But most of all, her fear above all others was that she didn't want it to mean he no longer wanted to be around her. Shaheen might have liked to portray herself as an independent woman, but the thought of being alone again, of being forced away, of not at least having the modicum of support that he provided her in her struggles against insanity....it was a possibility she wasn't sure she could bare.
But there was no point any longer. There was no point in denial, in attempting to hide it. Shik said she confessed her affections. Even if she hadn't, even if that was just a lie, a manipulation to make her say what otherwise wouldn't have been said......she could see no reason, no strong argument against just telling him the truth. It had hurt to do so. Even now she could feel the icy cold fingers of doubt clutching at her chest, wrangling her heart and squeezing it tight.
What he said next, however, had her sort of wishing she had kept it to herself after all, and not just now, but whatever other time he was speaking of. A time when she had apparently called it a waste. A time when she apparently wished she could just forget it....
He was mad. More angry then she had perhaps ever seen him. But she didn't flinch. She took his verbal assault with eyes that still refused to leave his. She had committed herself to those words, to her confession, and to whatever repercussions those three words might yield.
"I forgot saying it. Yes.....I might have forgotten many things."
She took a step forward, lifted up a hand to cough in it, her eyes flicking away from his for just a second before they were back on his once more.
"I love you, Shikoba Len." She said it louder this time, more forceful, her voice just inches from shouting level, before she pulled back a fist, and aimed it for that jaw she so loved to assault. "I could not forget that."
She might have sounded a little bitter about that last part, as though she might have actually tried.
He could read into that particular tone of voice however he wished.
HP: 50 Damage:8
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medigel rolled 2 10-sided dice:
1, 4
Total: 5 (2-20)
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Posted: Sun Sep 01, 2013 9:07 pm
He hadn't expected her to proclaim it loudly and proudly. He'd mostly just expected an outraged hit.
At least he got that partially right.
Whether it be Shaheen's fist or his own perpetually failing lucky, Shik found himself rushing forward blindly with a growl, throwing out repeated blows without strategy or logic--an animal lashing out for all intents and purposes to try and drive her away.
"Why?" he snarled, ignoring the pain of his jaw. "Why, when there are plenty of others far better an option, do you bother with me?"
He didn't believe her. He couldn't believe her.
HP: 21 Damage: shaheen's love 2strong
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Seussi rolled 2 10-sided dice:
7, 3
Total: 10 (2-20)
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Posted: Sun Sep 01, 2013 11:38 pm
Dear gods he was clumsy when he was enraged, and Shaheen seemed to have not just found his angry button, but chose instead to smash a fist against it repeatedly. Was this also why she had always kept the confession to herself? She mulled that one over as she dodged every swipe of the claws or sloppy swing of a fist, her face stoic, her emotional outbursts on temporary lockdown as though her admittance had stunned even herself too much to react properly or normally. She still had that icy feeling in her chest, but it barely registered now, and would likely remain that way until this small battles completion.
She had no idea how to answer him, no idea what to say or how to explain her reasons to him. It wasn't exactly something she had spent time dissecting and deciphering, it was just something that had simply happened.
"Listen to me." She growled, pretty much just slapping his attempts away, "I, Shaheen, elder cheiftain of the war clan, love you Shikoba Len, elder executioner of the same. How many times, Shik? How many? Why are you even questioning me?"
She knew why. It was because he felt trapped. Backed into a corner like she had.
She darted forward, and gave him a head butt to the forehead, as though that might knock some sense back into him, before saying. "The question should be, what are you going to do about it?" She shook her head, clearing away the short, sharp burst of pain that came from colliding her forehead with his. "I will not hold it against you if you now wish for this to end."
Was she talking about the fight or something else entirely...?
HP: 50 Damage: 4
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medigel rolled 10 4-sided dice:
2, 2, 4, 4, 2, 3, 4, 4, 1, 3
Total: 29 (10-40)
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Posted: Tue Sep 03, 2013 8:24 pm
Snorting like a bull again, he tensed as if ready to lunge. The headbutt caught him by surprise (why was everything getting him off guard?) once again, however, and with blind swiping he missed Shaheen and grasped nothing but air. It was obvious by now that Shik wasn't putting his heart in the fight--indeed, he really was cornered.
What did you do when someone said that? His instinct was to attack and eradicate because that was all he was good for, wasn't it? Couldn't remember what the flute sounded like, or how the wood carvings weighed in his hands anymore--just the roar of blood in his ears and the feeling of shields bending under his might. But he couldn't make this go away, had been trying for months now in his own way--avoiding, ridiculing, fighting just as he did now. this time, however, Shaheen was keen on making her stance clear.
Why was it so hard to figure out what his was?
Clutching at his head, Shik glared at her from under the dark ropes of hair that had come undone from its pin, gulping down breaths; the blows to his head had left him dizzy, but his feet remained entrenched.
Being hit in the head. That's obviously why he couldn't think straight.
"Do you know what I think?" He gained a look of concentration, one hand guarding the certainly soon to be bruised area from her charged attack, the other summoning his dagger. "I think you're insane sometimes, Shaheen, but that truly is the craziest thing you've ever said to me." The dagger gained a red glow as it sliced into his arm, a blood-like substance quickly pouring out of the opening to coat his body. He stared at her steadily through out, his breathing becoming less labored as the healing energy rushed through him.
"Why am I questioning it? Because I don't understand," Shik repeated emphatically, the strangest expression on his face. It was almost pleading. "I don't understand why I am worth the trouble, Shaheen. I might be an elder, but my greatest accomplishments include fake killing a deputy hunter in a timeline that no longer exists and voting in a human lover for the head of our clans. I can't even begin to . . ." A frustrated growl rumbled from his throat, lacking the means to articulate himself. "I can't even fight proper, let alone talk!"
HP: 44 Damage: Healed for 27
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Seussi rolled 7 4-sided dice:
2, 2, 3, 4, 4, 3, 3
Total: 21 (7-28)
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Posted: Tue Sep 03, 2013 10:13 pm
She really honestly couldn't quite believe she had gone this long in the fight without taking any real hits herself. She dodged away from another swipe of his claws, a woman who was nothing more then a jumble of conflicting emotions right now, one who tried to suppress her feelings, or at the very least distance herself from them until this was finished. She wasn't doing a very good job of it. She stood back away from him, her breathing heavy. She was prepared to say it again, if she had to, because now that she said it...yes, there was a certain amount of liberation to be had. They were words and feelings she had kept locked up tight too long, constraining them, constraining herself. It was freeing, in it's own way, though she still felt faintly sick for having done so, a worry that she continued to ignore in favor of the fight. There was no point in focusing on what might happen afterwards, when they needed to get through this first. Her face slowly spread into a smile at his comment, and she barked a laugh, her own hair wild, tangled waves of gold, strands of it falling in front of her eyes. Insane. Yes. Maybe in more ways then just the obvious. "If you did not wish for me to say it, then you should not have brought it up to begin with." She was watching his summoned dagger carefully, though perhaps not as carefully as she watched his eyes, his expression. She was not expecting him to heal himself, as he most often in their fights did not do so, but was rather expecting him to lunge at her when her guard was down. So when he did turn that dagger on himself, she hissed, her own blade flashing, and an annoyed look on her face. All of her work, undone in that moment as he used his blood to heal. And then he started talking again, and she went still at his words for just a moment, as something began to seethe inside of her at every single damn word that came out of his stupid mouth. And then she just exploded. "You are an idiot, Shikoba Len! I full blown fool of a man! Yes, a man, not a beast, no matter how many times I have called you such." She could feel her anger rising, becoming a mountain inside of her. "Back when we were still children, still learning, still training for the day we would become greater, I was told I could no longer spend time with you." A memory that she now oh so vividly remembered thanks to their time in the tear. "So what did I do? Did I stop?" He knew the answer to that was no. He knew she still went to him, to harass him, to challenge him, to fight with him at every opportunity. "Did I get punished? Oh yes, every single time, and each time worse then the time before, but it was always worth it. You are worth the trouble, to me. You are not----" She cut off abruptly, realizing her sword was raised, it's blade glowing yellow for a second time, ready to drive into him, but something he had said halted her for a moment, a sharp and bitter feeling stabbing into her chest. "So saving me wasn't an accomplishment. I see then." Her face went stony, and with two hands gripping the hilt of her sword, she plunged it at him for a second time, while a new kind of pain burned inside of her, a new kind of hurt she'd never experienced before, and one that didn't need her insanity to draw it out further. "If you can't fight, and you can't talk, then I think we are done here." She hissed. HP:50 Damage: 19
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medigel rolled 2 10-sided dice:
8, 3
Total: 11 (2-20)
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Posted: Thu Sep 05, 2013 10:06 am
It was another moment of miscalculated words and conflicting ideals, as well as one of pain. Try as Shik did, he couldn't deflect her weapon away and suffered another gouging attack with a howl. His free hand struck out and grabbed her arm in a vice grip, nails digging.
He was staring at Shaheen in disbelief again. Instinct made him want to retort in some manner, but again words escaped him. Hers, however, rang quite clearly in his ears, over and over again. Every squabble, every raid, every competition, every bracing little moment...Shik was well aware that her parents were not role models and liked him about as much as they liked humans, but he did not know how much Shaheen had been taking from them just because of him. Even from the beginning she had been shouldering burdens...
Something subtle shifted in his expression, and without preamble he let her arm go and desummoned his dagger, leaving himself wide open. "All I gave you was a few hours," he pointed out, bitter. "I don't call that a victory. It didn't solve anything, it wasn't permanent, it...It wasn't enough." His face was tight.
HP: 25 Damage: 5
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Seussi rolled 2 10-sided dice:
10, 10
Total: 20 (2-20)
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Posted: Thu Sep 05, 2013 1:35 pm
Finally he struck back, though not in a way she would expect. A hand clamped around her arm, a painful sensation as nails dug into skin. If she had wanted to quit now and leave this would have been enough to make her stay. She didn't want to leave, though. She just wanted..... He let his arm go. He desummoned his dagger, and she did the same with her sword, stepping closer to him. "A few hours. Shik, I'm still here. I wouldn't still be here without you!" She had a moment to recognize the fact that she was making it all about her again, like he had said she always did, and she shook her head, suddenly refusing to say more or the matter. She was still angry with him. Still didn't know what to do. Didn't know what to say without making herself look like she was making herself the center of everything once again. And then there was still one other thing that pissed her off. After everything they'd been through, he quite obviously did not feel the same way she did. "Maybe you shouldn't have helped me." For all intents and purposes, Shaheen looked like she was finished, like she was going to just walk away. She even shifted her gaze down, dropping it from his, made a motion to turn. That turn rapidly spun back around in a kick aimed for his chest, using her wings to drive her forward, and to lift her off of the ground just enough to follow through with a punch that came flying towards his temple. HP: 45 Damage: 14
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medigel rolled 2 10-sided dice:
5, 10
Total: 15 (2-20)
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Posted: Sat Sep 07, 2013 7:31 pm
He knew better than to let his guard down just because her back was turned. He knew from previous experience of course, that a War horsemen never really was at ease, that there was always something that kept them prepared for a fight at a moment's notice (thus dictated his father, a man who sometimes woke him with a clamoring bell and two seconds to react--and wasn't that the norm? Or was that too twisted in his self-defeating mind?)
He barely defended himself from her onslaught.
There were motions, sure, because even Shik couldn't let himself be utterly defenseless. But they were motions and nothing more.
He staggered and wheezed and bled because his shield was beginning to waver--and he felt so very alive and vivid in that moment. To be cornered, to be struck so hard his senses reeled and his skull reverberated: that could clear his mind faster than any words could.
"Never said I regretted helping," Shik retorted, his head aching painfully enough to cut his words short. "Only that they didn't last." The vial, Death's dagger . . . Brown eyes and golden hair.
I wouldn't still be here without you!
And something in him twisted and said, Yes you would, gods damn it, yes you would--! He didn't understand his own fear (for that was what soured his Core, he realized, stunned). In tired exasperation, he lashed out with raking claws, only having the energy to do bullrushes with little finesse at this point.
HP: 11 Damage: 9
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Seussi rolled 2 10-sided dice:
4, 6
Total: 10 (2-20)
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Posted: Sat Sep 07, 2013 10:55 pm
At this point she really just had nothing left to say. No words left to give. She just wanted this over with, wanted to crush his shield and leave him either bleeding on the ground or dissipated. She had no idea how to react any further, and the realization that she had confessed, actually truly confessed her feelings for him, was finally setting in. The realization that he had practically forced her to say it, had basically backed her into a corner so that she had no choice. The fact that after she had said it, she'd had to defend her feelings by providing at least some minimal insight towards why she might feel that way.
He couldn't just accept it. It was likely because he just couldn't feel the same way.
She had thought at one point that she would just walk away from this and not look back if that's what was required, but now she didn't want to do that, not without striking out at him, almost like a punishment for getting her to admit what she would have rather kept quiet. Some part of her knew that this was all her fault, but for now she could only see to rest the blame on him.
She practically stepped right into the claws that were swung her way, let them rake over her shield, let herself feel the pain, let it wash over her and for that moment drown out anything else.
She didn't even want to summon her weapon for this. She just wanted to use her hands.
She didn't speak. She wanted to scream, but she didn't do that either. She felt like she might choke on the frustration that was bubbling up inside of her, but even that wasn't enough to make her open her mouth and shriek at him.
She just reached up with two hands and shoved him, for whatever that was worth, hands smacking against his chest, muscles surging.
And then hissed words, barely restrained, ones that she could not let go unsaid. "You asked for this. You wanted to know why. It's your fault if everything is ruined now." Her voice broke at the end, a sound that was not a typical sound for Shaheen to make.
HP: 36 Damage: 4
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Posted: Sat Sep 07, 2013 11:49 pm
Ruined.
That was the right word, wasn't it? That was usually what it came down to for him. Ruined, broken, useless, unworthy. He was an unhappy man because what he touched eventually soured, by fate or (usually) by his own choice. Here he could act all he wanted like this was coming to him, that it was pre-destined and determined by someone else that this too would end up screwed like the rest, but deep down he knew there was no basis for it. No, deep down there was only fear of stepping forward and him acting out to hide it.
Ruined, broken, useless, unworthy. Those were words Shaheen knew as well.
Maybe, all those years ago, it wasn't the competitive spirit, or the need to rebel, or the similar egos, or the shared joys of battle and music, or the friendly and somehow respectable rivalry they had that pulled them towards each other. Maybe they had simply known when they were younger, on some unconscious level, that they would both end up ******** one way or another: jagged pieces that, if put together, would resemble something normal. In that moment Shaheen hissed at him, it was like pulling her half out little by little.
The tiny crevices of space ached him more than he thought. And Shik, uncharacteristically, floundered.
Shaheen had always been there. He hadn't imagined a world where he couldn't nag her about something and instigate a fight because a world like that simply didn't exist. Wasn't possible, even. In retrospect, Shik knew he hadn't taken her disease seriously for that same reason, because if she could withstand the attack and come back with only a few marks, then who was to say she simply couldn't beat the s**t out of Insanity and be done with it? So he didn't change his ways: he fought and laughed and snarled as he always did, and he didn't take her threats and concerns seriously because her parents had twisted her to be doubtful anyway--just shrug it off and move on.
Then the Haunted House happened. Then the phoenix happened. And the kiss, and the isolation, and the apologies, and the sharing of homes, and so much more. And she was there, always there somewhere, trying to be as sane as the rest while her gray marks invaded further. And he was there, doing nothing to ease that pain, because he was so convinced things had not changed--because he wanted so much to keep ahold of the past when it was simpler, while around him the world marched onward.
His aches seemed to grow twofold with this sudden clarity, and he almost forgot to keep himself from falling when shoved. Wings out, legs trembling, hands loose and unsure. Heaving breaths. And when it all came down to it, when Shik finally considered their experience together in a phenomenal rush that reminded him the brain was a wonderful, wonderful weapon to have, the answer was almost disappointingly simple for the amount of stress it caused them.
"I've ruined many things, Shaheen," he said between pants, an unfamiliar but earnest look in his eyes, "because I've used my hands to destroy for so long, I've forgotten I could do anything else. But this--what we have, what we are . . ." It was the word problem again, and his throat was dry, and there was something lodged in it as well to make everything harder, and his head hurt worse and grew heavy.
"I don't want something this good in my life gone."
HP: 7
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Posted: Sun Sep 08, 2013 12:21 am
She really hadn't expected anything to come from the shove, or from the hissed words that had accompanied it. She had already given so much that it seemed impossible that anything more could change the course of what was happening now. Three little words, torn from the heart, blurted out needlessly into the open air and hitting a wall, and she could feel the world as she had come to know it crumbling around her. She might have fooled herself into thinking she was prepared for what would come next. She would leave. She would move back into her own home, as long as Thrain would allow her to. She would rebuild and reshape herself, try to smooth off those jagged edges that her upbringing had given her, and move on.
But there was no way it would be that easy. There was no way she could so nonchalantly deal with that sharp sting of loss, to just plod along like it didn't exist, like these feelings could just disappear the moment her back was turned.
Her anger still roiled within her, her bitterness, and a sense of self doubt that ran deeper then the insanity had ever seemed to. He was ruining everything, he was breaking them apart.
She lifted up a hand as though to strike him again, her body aching with a desire to hurt him enough that it might at least cover a small portion of the inner pain she was going to deal with when this was through, of what was already digging and twisting into her heart in a torturous manner.
And then something changed. It was only a small thing, just a look in his eyes that stilled her hand, one that was almost unrecognizable to the woman who was more accustomed to dealing with annoyance, anger, amusement, and sometimes lust from this man.
This seemed different.
He was speaking, and at first, she could barely hear the words over the throbbing of her own heartbeat in her ears. But then some words became clear, the what we have, and the what we are.
Her hand began to tremble, so she let it drop to her side. Her eyes widened just slightly, her mouth parting in silent disbelief. What was he saying was she hearing this right?
I don't want something this good in my life gone.
No. No, she didn't want that either. She really, really didn't want that, but right at this moment, she could only stare at him, completely stunned. Did this mean..did it....
"Do you...." She stopped and licked her lips, they were so dry! As was her mouth, and her throat was so constricted gods help her what had he done to her now?
She took a step towards him, closing what short distance there was left between them, head tilted back just slightly so she could look him in the eye. She swallowed past the lump that had formed in her own throat, and breathed out what she wanted to say in a sharp gasp, the corners of her eyes tightening slightly as she studied his face, searching for the lie in his words.
"Do you mean that?"
HP: 36
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Posted: Mon Sep 09, 2013 10:18 pm
He stood quite still as she approached. Not stiff, not defensive, not bracing even--he was a wide open target on every level, his wings were almost limpid the way they touched the ground, and what had once been fists relaxed at his sides. Shik was trying to read what was going through her mind at this point, his mouth pressed together for a moment before saying, "I do."
His head was spinning and he didn't believe simply saying "yes" would make it through, however. Not after the hoops she'd jumped through. It didn't...he thought it weird to use the word, but it didn't feel right.
Lifting one hand chest level, still looking Shaheen in the eye, he summoned his dagger.
"You told me once you would rather stand with me than against me." With deliberate motions he turned it around and offered her the handle. "...I was hoping that offer still stands?" Shik asked with rare hesitation.
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