She had been gone for a while now. So it seemed. It was just a few days.
Uller was worried about Tahki. Either she was gone or on vacation and did not tell him. Either way, the deer was worried about the other Arctic monster. He considered her something of a friend after the time they spent together. Never mind it was one day. She was someone he could unwind with. Sure, he had to dull his sharp tongue, but that was a good thing.
Still. He had knocked on her door several times to figure out if she was back yet. He even got on his hands and knees and felt the air at the bottom of her dorm door. It was very warm in there. So she was not back. Arctic monsters tended to make their personal spaces into ice boxes because it was what they were comfortable at.
He worried for her minipets. There was no noise from her room, but he had no idea if they were there or not. What if they died while she was gone? He would not be able to console her. He did not know how to do that.
Sighing hard, he peeked out of his door and looked across the hall to Tahki's. He had heard nothing. His white brows knit together and pushed a hand through his hair before he rubbed his face and moved to stand in the hall. He shut his door behind him and then sat against it, staring at Tahki's door still. Why did he miss her like this?
His mind drifted to the time they saved that wounded minipet together.
The Quizzle was hurt; it had a cut on its leg and it was broken as well. It made Uller think it took a jump that it could not make, so Uller did the best he could. He made a splint with what he could find and doctored up the cut. Since then, he was feeding it, cleaning it and making sure it was warm enough or cool enough. He just wanted the thing to live.
Part of him wanted to adopt this pet. The other three had taken to it. They were keeping it company, chittering with it, and teaching it things like when to be quiet, where the food was, how to stay out of the way when Uller was in the room. The Quizzle, however, insisted on sleeping on the bed with him. It was small, so he did not mind. Snow and Blizzard were not even envious over this fact. Maybe because they had a feeling the Quizzle was going to go back to wherever it came from. It was not the first time he had helped a hurt mini before, after all.
A small smile appeared on his face as he thought back to how brave Tahki had been during that. She was not the least bit scared. No, she was bold and seemed to be enjoying what was happening. The excitement was flooding through her veins, probably. It had been for him, but also apprehension. That did not happen to her. It made him admire her bravery. Made him think that if he was in trouble she would not hesitate at all.
She was his only friend. The only one he considered a friend. Maybe that was why. He had met Lifen. She was nice, but definitely not a friend. They did not spend the same amount of time together. Kashi was not... a friend at all.
He moved so his feet were against Tahki's door and his head was still against his own and sighed. Being at the very end of the hall had its perks. He did not have to worry about anyone wanting to walk over him. He sighed, since his feet were bare, and felt the heat that was coming from Tahki's room. Further proof he was alone right now, Sighing heavily, he just laid like that, tossing his arm over his eyes and shook his head. He was being stupid. He was freaking out over nothing, probably. Students took breaks all the time, right? That was what he heard. So Tahki taking a break was not a big deal.
She did not have to tell him she was leaving. They were not that close. But he did not want to talk to any other Arctics because he had have to get used to them and he was not good at that. Evidence to support this fact was he almost made Tahki cry with in minutes of meeting her. He also implied Lifen was a lady of the night.
Slowly, Uller felt his mind fogging up as sleep started closing in on him right then and there. Maybe she would be back when he woke up. So what if he slept out in the hall? He would cool everything down and maybe help the minipets in Tahki's room cool down. If there were any.
Word Count: 832
Posted: Wed Oct 31, 2012 10:22 am
Just a crush
At least Tahki had told him she was leaving this time. Uller wasn't sitting and waiting around for her. She said could be gone a couple of months. His brows knit together as he sat on his computer in his dorm room, waiting for an e-mail or something from her to let him know she was at least doing alright. She was his best friend and he was missing her like crazy. Honestly, Uller didn't do much of anything anymore, which just wasn't like himself. He'd written her a few e-mails, played some of the games she had installed on his computer for him, but it wasn't the same if he couldn't instant messenger her and ask her random things.
Maybe he should finally come out of his bedroom and do something with himself. He needed to get to know those who he wanted to call friends. Maybe he would go see Lifen? He didn't call her a friend, but she was interesting and he did want to know more about her. His brows knit together, however. He wouldn't know where to find her. He tapped a finger to his lips as he thought and shook his head. Oh well. He was bound to run into her again. If she was in this school, or even around it.
The booth had drained him for a while. That was a lot of interaction he hadn't planned on and it was just very... very draining for the usually snobbish boy. He had to act friendly so his booth would be popular. He wrinkled his nose as he remembered. The only good thing about that had been spending more time with Tahki before she left. Funny how all of his thoughts now revolved around the ghoul who wasn't there. Argh! This was getting him nowhere. He ran a hand through his knotted hair and let out an annoyed growl.
Ugh, he was seriously considering a hair cut right now. As short as it could go without him looking completely stupid. It was just too much for him to deal with most nights. He couldn't do it himself, though. He would no doubt screw up his hair cut way too much and he would have to go bald. He would look really, really stupid bald! His father was balding and the man honestly looked very weird. Uller couldn't imagine himself like that. His brows knit a bit more as he thought of any of his 'friends' that might be trusted with a pair of scissors and his hair. However, not one single person came to mind. They were all too scatter brained or he didn't know how to reach them. He really needed to get to the point of sharing numbers in friendship.
Whatever. He threw his hair up into a messy ponytail and pulled on his most comfortable autumn clothing before pulling on his boots and headed out the door. He knew, even messy, his hair would look good. It was that kind of slick, straight hair that looked good no matter what you did to it. He was thankful for that, by jack damn it, it was annoying to deal with when he woke up choking on it.
He headed out of the dorms and shoved his hands into his pockets as he headed down the trail to the hot springs. The last place he'd taken Tahki for a 'date'. He'd managed to see her in a bikini and saw her real form. She was striking in both respects. Her real form was just so adorable! Uller wished he could have at least kissed her to show her that he liked her. In that kind of manner, anyway.
He let his brows knit as he dipped his hand in the warm water, shivering a little at the difference difference in temperature. Ah, well. Hopefully he'd get that chance again when he came back. Tahki was the one person Uller felt most comfortable with. She kind of balanced him out. In a very weird, weird way.
Uller let those white brows of his knit together as he walked away from the springs and headed who knew where. He was just thinking and walking. Maybe this would lead to him meeting Frost, or someone, maybe not, but he was at least willing to take that chance right now. He needed to get his mind off of her. When he thought of Tahki, his stomach turned in knots and he felt slightly awkward around her. That had never happened to him before. At first he thought it was a sickness or something. But he realized it only happened around her. So, some prodding around on his computer, after the lessons Tahki had given him, and he was sure he had a crush on her. To see if it was more than a crush, it said to just spend more time with her and see if the feelings wore off.
Well, he couldn't exactly do that with her leaving every few months, could he?
He headed out to the front of the school without really thinking. What would this day hold for him?
Uller rubbed his eyes as he woke up in a strange bed at a strange time. Grabbing his eye phone he glanced at the time and blinked. It was after noon, which was odd for the stag. He used to be a morning boil, but it seemed that was slowly changing. He found himself staying up later and sleeping even way later than he normally did. Licking his dry, chapped lips, he sat up slowly, feeling a tell-tale ache in his lower back. Etzer had come to him yesterday and they grabbed lunch, and somehow, that ended up in making out and a bit of extra time in bed. Black eyes glanced over to his boilfriend with a fond smile on his lips and he leaned down to kiss at his cheek and neck.
Absently, he let the hand closest to Etzer stroke through that black hair that contrasted his own white so starkly. It’d been four months since he’d seen his boilfriend, and the meeting, what had happened… It felt right. Perfectly right. His nails scratched at Etzer’s scalp slowly before he just laid back down and spooned behind him. The hand that had been in Etzer’s hair was now resting on his naked hip as his eyes slipped closed again, mind wandering.
This time last year he’d been worried about Tahki. She’d left around this time. He’d been crushing on her, nearly kissed her once, and she just disappeared because her family thought it wasn’t safe for her. He could understand that. A lot had happened last year. Attacks of hunters, just… Last year seemed like a steady stream of mess after mess. The day she left, Uller felt his heart rip out of his chest and go with her. He hadn’t even realized he had managed to love her like that so quickly. He waited outside of her door for so long, trying to keep it cold. He’d slipped notes, letters under her door until she finally managed to send him something on Scaretine’s day. From then, he sent her letters every so often, which were hardly answered, but that was alright. Somehow Uller knew she was getting them.
During the time she was gone, he’d met Etzer. A smile tugged at his lips as he remembered their first meeting. The flirting, the excitement of meeting another ice boil that he could relate to. Even if he was a demon. It wasn’t that Uller had anything against demons, it was that the first few demons he met here were really horrible to him. …Or at least Danny was. She’d tried to push him out of the room during Movie Club. He wouldn’t forgive her for that, honestly. Either way, though, he’d managed to have his opinion of demons turned around with Etzer and a few others. However, monsters were better in his head. Call it being racist, but that’s just how he was. He was raised to think monsters, specifically deer monsters and those like them were the best race.
It took Etzer and Uller a while to get to where they were now. The relationship was less than eight months old and they’d already had their ups and downs. Etzer tended to shut himself off from the world. The first time was around prom. Uller had to go over to Etzer’s room and make him take a break, physically make him take a break.
Then was the four months of avoiding everyone. He ignored texts, phone calls, letters slipped under the door. During those months, Uller thought of the worst. Maybe Etzer had run away like Tahki had. Maybe this was his way of breaking up with him. Maybe he died in a battle he didn’t know about. Uller didn’t know anything about what had happened to Etzer. Stupid boil avoiding his boilfriend.
The good thing that happened during those months of no contact with Etzer was Tahki had come back. She just showed up, back in her old room and explained why she’d left. Uller was relieved she was back, had told her he missed her, hugged her, and they joked around again. It was almost as if she hadn’t been gone for nearly a year. They’d clicked once again to being friends. He could easily let Tahki become his best ghoulfriend. For the two months prior to yesterday, he spent his time online with Tahki, playing video games, learning the ways of first person shooters, MMOs, and some game where you had to collect stupidly named monsters in these balls that made no sense.
His fingers caressed Etzer’s hip as he recalled the past year, his own ups and downs, personal failures and triumphs. Uller felt his body relaxing, going lax at the warmth of his boilfriend’s back against his chest, feeling their hearts beating together, in time with one another. Instead of sitting back up, he just let himself fall back asleep, uncaring if he had anything to do today. He was too comfortable right now, it felt too good. No one could make him move right now.
Word Count: 845
Posted: Sat Aug 29, 2015 4:28 am
The Breakup
The walk back to his room was the most painful think he'd gone through. The steps he took were agonizingly slow and left him with a very surreal feeling. Every fiber of his being was rebelling what just happened. His heart didn't want to believe it. Glasere Uller knew, realistically, that breaking up was the best thing for the pair to do, and yet his heart cried with every crack that appeared. His heart and head were completely at war, which meant that when he shut the door behind him to his bedroom, the whole room slowly became encased in ice and cold.
Even his minipets took cover to warmer parts, like under the blankets and pillows of the bed, in a pile of clothes, something like that.
His room was full of things Etzer had given to him. The stag just slid down his door, let his head thump against the wood and looked up at his ceiling as the tears sprang forward again.
“Why am I so stupid?” He asked absolutely no one. A whine escaped his throat as the tears fell and coated his cheeks and the muscle shirt he was wearing. Every breath he took tried to clear the fog in his head, and yet the fog kept rolling back, thicker than last time. His eyes were mostly closed and he just kept focusing on his breathing, kept trying to calm down.
It wasn't getting any easier. Instead he let out a hard noise and the sob he let out was pitiable. It was his idea, a mutual decision, and here he was acting like he was the victim.
“I shouldn't have left,” he whined out to absolutely no one. No one. He was completely alone once again.
It was worse than when Tahki left because he would still have to see Etzer. He'd have to see him. They would eventually start talking again, and then… He'd.. have to see him with someone else. Of course he'd date again. Etzer was completely irresistible. Etzer would end up with someone amazing and wonderful and the very thought was making his blood boil. Boil and his heart shatter and hardened at the same time. Etzer was his.
A fist balled and he punched the floor. Instantly his knuckles ached, which.. admittedly was a good distraction from the fact he was still crying. He let out a hard noise and just punched the floor again and again. He repeated the process until blood blossomed on his knuckles and the floor like a grim, beautiful flower.
Once he was panting, once he felt the tears stop, he let out a hard, pained scream. Physical pain, emotional pain… He let it out, he let it all out as he leaned forward, doubled over himself and pressed his forehead to the wood floor. He screamed again and sobbed openly.
Maybe he was over reacting, but this was his first official break up.
You were expected to over react, weren't you? The does in his home tribe over reacted with their first break ups. The boys were stoic and quiet, grim even. He never knew what they were thinking. But he wasn't home in his tribe. So he was able to over react until he felt numb. That's what he was going for. He wanted to be numbed. Numb would be a lot better than anything else.
“I'm sorry. I'm so sorry,” he whispered, as though the demon could hear him. Maybe, if he willed it hard enough, Etzer would feel how sorry he was. How much he loved him. How much he wished things could actually have worked out.
“I shouldn't have left. I ...There should have been letters, I should have called! Something!” He raised his voice at the end and slammed his fist against the floor one more time. He cried out in surprise at the pain. It hurt. He looked at his hand, watched the blood run from his knuckles to the floor and he just stretched himself out on the floor and laid there.
“What… if I just drank?” He'd end up like how he'd found Etzer. That's what would happen. Would that be better?
Black eyes glazed over as he just let this dumbfounded stupor blanket him. Slowly little eyes and noses peeked out and stared at their owner, then at one another with confused and worried expressions. The snowdrift padded out first and laid herself on the small of Uller's back. Her long tail curled around herself in coils and acted as a blanket at the same time.
One by one they minipets came to lay against him, warming him up with their fur and trilled at Uller in a sad way. They could sense the hard time their owner was having. Right now they were Uller's only friends.
Just like that the stag let himself fall asleep right there. Even as he slept the tears leaked and froze to his cheeks.
