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Posted: Wed Nov 07, 2012 1:34 pm
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Posted: Thu Nov 08, 2012 9:52 pm
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The thing is, people are at different points in their lives at different ages. I've always been reallly ageist for some reason (I can't explain why), so I'll always advocate for the 2 year rule until you're 18. Because honestly, when you're young you grow so crazily and dramatically in a single year, think of what different place maturity wise someone more than 2 years is than you! Think of yourself 3 years ago! And don't be like "Well I'm mature for my age, blah blah..." I thought I was mature for my age at 16 and hell, even my parents agreed. But looking back I still did, said, and thought some really stupid s**t back then.
Like, yeah. I dunno. Also I think another good rule of thumb is to try dating someone who's in life where you are. If you're in high school, try dating someone in high school. They'll be able to relate to your problems and be there with you. If you're in college, for god's sakes why are you dating someone in high school when you're in a new chapter of your life? (Okay that sounds assholish, but, really...) As you get older and the maturity gap shrinks, that's when it's more likely to be successful. Okay so maybe your loved one is finishing college and you've got a job already, that's more manageable.
I'm not gonna be an a*****e saying you can't have a successful, loving relationship with someone way older than you. Love is love, after all. I just find it very hard to... buy, I guess. Like I said, I'm suuuper ageist for some reason! It just really bothers me! So I apologize if I sound like an a*****e!
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Posted: Mon Nov 26, 2012 1:21 am
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Posted: Wed Dec 05, 2012 3:35 pm
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Posted: Thu Dec 06, 2012 10:40 am
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Large age gaps like a 20 year old dating somebody who is 65 freaks me out a bit. I guess it's because there can be a lot of difference between lifestyle. For example, perhaps the 20 year old likes to go clubbing with friends on a weekend, but the 65 year old would rather stay home and watch tv? Or, what is the 20 year old is extremely physically active and loves hiking, working out, and many types of sports and the 65 year old is unable to participate in those activities? It might be frustrating.
It's most concerning to me when you have a 14 year old dating someone who is 30 or something of that nature. At that point, a person needs to wonder if the relationship is even healthy. A teenager is still growing in life and doesn't know everything they want, they don't always know what they want as a career, they don't always think much about how they will support themselves in the future if they live with parents or someone else who pays the bills, they don't always think about things on an adult level, of course so relationships like that I don't see necessary at all.
Although, once a person hits 18 - it's their decision on their age preference and if their preferred age gap works for them then that's how it's gonna be.
I remember being in high school and it was considered gross or desperate for a senior to date a freshman. People who dated that were senior and freshman would tend to get a lot of hassle - even though the age gap was like 4 years, which isn't totally huge. Although, in high school things like that seemed to be a huge deal with most students.
I noticed after high school and more into college - an 18 year old could date someone who is 25 and it didn't matter because they are both adults at that point. It's no longer weird, gross, desperate, or strange because they have made their own age preference as an adult.
I always told myself, "I only want a guy that's 2 years older than me." and stuck by that. Then at a point, I fell in love, and found out the guy was about 4 years older than I was and I couldn't help it. I made an exception because I loved him for who he was and at that point, and his age was only a few years over my preference so I could deal and now that we're married - I don't really think about our ages much. Our ages is rarely something we really bring up unless we're talking about cartoons, movies, or music that was before our time or filling out documents where they need a birth date =P
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Posted: Fri Dec 07, 2012 11:41 pm
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Posted: Mon Dec 24, 2012 11:00 pm
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Personally, I think it's more about maturity and compatibility than age. Back when I first joined Gaia I was 15 and I did some RP and became rather good friends with a guy who was 22. Over the years we became best friends, then a brother/sister type thing, and now three years later (me being 18 and him 25) we're dating. It's kinda long distance (I'm in northeastern Illinois and he's in Arkansas), but we're both just very compatible with each other. We have similar senses of humor, we like similar types of things, we both like video games and anime and MLP, and we're always there for each other if something's wrong. Heck, there are times where I act like the more mature one, giving him advice in certain situations and keeping him calm when he would otherwise be very upset at a turn of events.
Guess what I'm trying to say is that as long as the two people get along with each other and don't personally find the age gap awkward, age doesn't really matter.
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Posted: Mon Feb 04, 2013 5:40 pm
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Posted: Mon Feb 04, 2013 5:41 pm
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Aquatic_blue Large age gaps like a 20 year old dating somebody who is 65 freaks me out a bit. I guess it's because there can be a lot of difference between lifestyle. For example, perhaps the 20 year old likes to go clubbing with friends on a weekend, but the 65 year old would rather stay home and watch tv? Or, what is the 20 year old is extremely physically active and loves hiking, working out, and many types of sports and the 65 year old is unable to participate in those activities? It might be frustrating. It's most concerning to me when you have a 14 year old dating someone who is 30 or something of that nature. At that point, a person needs to wonder if the relationship is even healthy. A teenager is still growing in life and doesn't know everything they want, they don't always know what they want as a career, they don't always think much about how they will support themselves in the future if they live with parents or someone else who pays the bills, they don't always think about things on an adult level, of course so relationships like that I don't see necessary at all. Although, once a person hits 18 - it's their decision on their age preference and if their preferred age gap works for them then that's how it's gonna be. I remember being in high school and it was considered gross or desperate for a senior to date a freshman. People who dated that were senior and freshman would tend to get a lot of hassle - even though the age gap was like 4 years, which isn't totally huge. Although, in high school things like that seemed to be a huge deal with most students. I noticed after high school and more into college - an 18 year old could date someone who is 25 and it didn't matter because they are both adults at that point. It's no longer weird, gross, desperate, or strange because they have made their own age preference as an adult. I always told myself, "I only want a guy that's 2 years older than me." and stuck by that. Then at a point, I fell in love, and found out the guy was about 4 years older than I was and I couldn't help it. I made an exception because I loved him for who he was and at that point, and his age was only a few years over my preference so I could deal and now that we're married - I don't really think about our ages much. Our ages is rarely something we really bring up unless we're talking about cartoons, movies, or music that was before our time or filling out documents where they need a birth date =P Generally if someone is 20 dating someone 65 it's because of status and wealth. It's a Sugar Daddy and Sugar Baby relationship that's mutually beneficial but not in the conventional way.
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