Tips for Aspiring Wiccans

[TeaDidikai]

[Kudzu]

TeaDidikai

My problem comes when an individuals secrets lead to s**t like this.

I'm sorry for your friend. I wish people like her attackers didn't exist. And I wish that more Seekers knew not to work with people for whom they don't get a vouch. It's situations like those that are the reasons I fight so hard to show that testing Wiccan content can't protect you enough. Seekers, if you don't get a vouch for your "Wiccan," don't work with them! What a horrible situation. I'm disgusted by what your friend had to go through.

And we go about getting a vouch when you say to ask such questions is impolite how?!  

[TatteredAngel]

I've been following a lot of the issues on finding lineaged Wiccans for a while, just because I've always been curious. I've ended up really confused. I hear a lot of what not to ask and how so much is oathbound, and no answers to the questions that are usually stated as being okay- so how would one know a bogus answer from a real one? All of the issues concerning predators are very worrying to me. I'm trying to see how, even armed with good advice, someone going in without already knowing people in the community on a personal basis might not still be at risk.  

[TeaDidikai]

TatteredAngel>> It wasn't meant to scare you.

For the usual questions, you can ask some folks who asked them in M&R. Reagun and Nuri amongst them.  

[Doctrix]

TeaDidikai

Kudzu

I wish that more Seekers knew not to work with people for whom they don't get a vouch. It's situations like those that are the reasons I fight so hard to show that testing Wiccan content can't protect you enough. Seekers, if you don't get a vouch for your "Wiccan," don't work with them!

And we go about getting a vouch when you say to ask such questions is impolite how?!

Thanks for asking! That's a good question! I'm sorry that I wasn't very clear in my answer. Here is my answer from a previous post. Please let me know what is unclear so that I can write a better response. (PM me for a quicker reply. I don't get too much time to surf all the places in Gaia that I leave my mark, but it's my home-page, so I see PM's whenever I hop online to check my school email.) I really want to learn how to convey this message clearly:

It's very important to verify lineage. Real Wiccans will expect this and will admire you for taking this bold but necessary step. Don't worry, they won't feel insulted! The first step in verification is to ask your Wiccan who will vouch for them. They will give you the contact information of other Wiccans who are willing to have their contact information given out to Seekers like us! Don't be alarmed if they don't give you the name and address of their Initiator. Maybe their Initiator isn't down with that kind of thing. Contact the people and verify your Wiccan's story.

The next step is to get independent verifications. That means that if you already know a Wiccan, even if they live far away from the Wiccan you've found, you can contact your known Wiccan and ask if they can get anyone to vouch for your found Wiccan. Your known Wiccan will be able to go through the proper channels to find a vouch. If you don't know ANY Wiccans anywhere, then you can try joining a list like Amberandjet.org and posting something like "can anyone vouch for a [insert Trad here] Wiccan in [insert state here]" and wait for responses. You'd be surprised how many independent vouches will come out of the woodwork! Also, this will get easier with time as you get in contact with verified Wiccans who can route your questions quickly to the appropriate people.

I can't stress enough how important the above process is. I wish it were written out more eloquently than the above as a million Stickies, because this is pretty much the only appropriate way for a totally clueless Seeker to verify lineage.

TheDisreputableDog

[TeaDidikai's] friend would likely would not have gotten a vouch from anyone. If you can't even deny a sexual predator with a history of such predations within the community, why would you get a confirmation for anyone else?

Good question! A real Wiccan who desires to Initiate other Wiccans will be vouched for by every Wiccan who knows them who desires to be known as a Wiccan. Conversely, a fake Wiccan will never be vouched for by anyone. One should never study with a person for whom one cannot get a vouch. I feel like I am being very unclear, since I am getting so many repeats of the same question. If you still do not understand, PM me with specific questions. I want to learn how to communicate this process to potential Seekers.

TatteredAngel

I hear a lot of what not to ask and how so much is oathbound, and no answers to the questions that are usually stated as being okay- so how would one know a bogus answer from a real one?

EXACTLY! You cannot know what answers to questions about Wiccan content are bogus unless you are an Initiated Wiccan. Please read the above itallics, red-coloured statement about how to verify Wiccans. If you are still confused, please PM me with questions, because I truly want to convey my message clearly to steer Seekers clear of predators.  

[TatteredAngel]

TeaDidikai

TatteredAngel>> It wasn't meant to scare you.

For the usual questions, you can ask some folks who asked them in M&R. Reagun and Nuri amongst them.

I know it wasn't meant to scare me, but I was just thinking of several years back when I still thought I wanted to be Wiccan. I hadn't even heard of lineage until sometime after I decided against it- and I had been on pagan forums and among the one group in my hometown who said they were Wiccan. It just strikes me that after asking so many people so many questions, I didn't really learn anything, and had no way to know that I was missing a huge part of what I was trying to learn about. So I've been trying to think back to that perspective, and I imagine that if it was so easy for me to completely miss out on learning anything about lineage and such for so long, plenty of others are probably in the same boat, and I worry a little about the dispersal of information and eager people of somewhat vulnerable ages.