You say goodbye...

[Damon Zane]

Well, after a long holiday and getting very little done I have the pilot of the story done. Tell me what you think, feel, or whatever and if I should continue or not. Remember that this is just the beginning.

http://killerzane69.livejournal.com/  

[Damon Zane]

I have to admit this chapter is short but its hard to motivate myself to move when I get to lounge around the house when I usually don't get the chance to.  

[Razor_Fluff]

Hey Man,
I read your chapter and it flows really nice. I think it's a really good beginning to the story, and you really made me feel like I was there. You wrote to all the senses 3nodding good job.
There were just a few typos; I don't mean to ride people too hard but my freshman comp. professor in college was a real grammar nazi so it's stuck in me now. If you need an editor for stuff like that, I'd totally love to help out.
Keep doing what you do best. wink  

[izak1399]

Bro. That's wicked cool! Lovin' it. Keep it coming. That was a decent length. If it helps keep it in manageable chunks for yourself.
Awesome that you chose Indo as the name as well. Heh heh.

For any newbies who want to know the significance of that name..  

[Damon Zane]

izak1399

Bro. That's wicked cool! Lovin' it. Keep it coming. That was a decent length. If it helps keep it in manageable chunks for yourself.
Awesome that you chose Indo as the name as well. Heh heh.

For any newbies who want to know the significance of that name..

I needed a name and decided to go with the one that won me the contest.  

[Damon Zane]

Razor_Fluff

Hey Man,
I read your chapter and it flows really nice. I think it's a really good beginning to the story, and you really made me feel like I was there. You wrote to all the senses 3nodding good job.
There were just a few typos; I don't mean to ride people too hard but my freshman comp. professor in college was a real grammar nazi so it's stuck in me now. If you need an editor for stuff like that, I'd totally love to help out.
Keep doing what you do best. wink

hey it all cool. I could use the help.  

[SADERR]

Your writing has a certain poetic sense to it that keeps a reader intruiged. A bit short, but it was still very good and I cannot wait to read more. Keep it up, it is very interesting.  

[Damon Zane]

Thanks to you all who commented, I am glad to see that I am on the right track. Knowing this Sprayed Paint, (Working Title) will now be a regular part of this guild with presidents approval. I am willing to add anyone so long as they give me information for me to work with in order to cast them in the light they so choose. Some applications may be turned down due to story progress but please post because you just never know.

For those of you who are wondering what the story is about it follows the hero(?) Indo on his trip to the top of the food chain of the graffiti world. There are many paths to take as he can be an underground legend like smithsane, the legend who sticks with his roots like cope 2, or hit the art galleries like Obey. On his journey he will have the help of several legends to help him on his way, namely the people who are on this site. As things start to fit together he has to make a world wide trek across the world in order to make his dream his life. Can he make his way to the top, or will the he be stop short?

That is for him, and us, to decide.  

[izak1399]

s**t, A world trip would be wicked. If you could convey the feeling of moving round the world, it being a big deal for him traveling, that would be awesome.
It's hard to explain, the Bourne movies did it really well, I always had a sense he was moving through "real" places, and I was traveling with him.

If you can capture that somehow then you have yourself a winner of a story.  

[Damon Zane]

izak1399

s**t, A world trip would be wicked. If you could convey the feeling of moving round the world, it being a big deal for him traveling, that would be awesome.
It's hard to explain, the Bourne movies did it really well, I always had a sense he was moving through "real" places, and I was traveling with him.

If you can capture that somehow then you have yourself a winner of a story.

I not sure on specifics but I have an idea as to why he has to travel around the world. It will be hard to make up characters for them, there are a couple people here that I will make sure to hit on... wink but as to how he leaves is still a bit fuzzy. So time will tell.  

[izak1399]

Damon Zane

izak1399

s**t, A world trip would be wicked. If you could convey the feeling of moving round the world, it being a big deal for him traveling, that would be awesome.
It's hard to explain, the Bourne movies did it really well, I always had a sense he was moving through "real" places, and I was traveling with him.

If you can capture that somehow then you have yourself a winner of a story.

I not sure on specifics but I have an idea as to why he has to travel around the world. It will be hard to make up characters for them, there are a couple people here that I will make sure to hit on... wink but as to how he leaves is still a bit fuzzy. So time will tell.

Yeah roll with it. Have fun. =D  

[Damon Zane]

Just a heads up, things get a bit adult now so don't yell at me you have been forewarn.  

[Razor_Fluff]

Damon Zane

Just a heads up, things get a bit adult now so don't yell at me you have been forewarn.

adult how?  

[Damon Zane]

Razor_Fluff

Damon Zane

Just a heads up, things get a bit adult now so don't yell at me you have been forewarn.

adult how?

Wait and find out wink

JK, no worse then Twilight i think I mean everyone by now should kno what goes on with the human body and so forth. Nothing to graphic, its just...adult. U'll see with time.

(Here's to hoping we can act grown up... sweatdrop )  

[xXx_Gwee_xXx]

HAAHAA