My Damaged Body and Mind :: How is YOUR health?

[Euthanasia Phase]

First, having looked at the before/after thread and read other posters' histories, kudos to everyone making these tremendous efforts!
History
I started out as a fairly normal kid, except that I had no friends through all of elementary school. I was an only child and rarely got invited by people in the neighborhood to play. My social skills sucked so badly that gradually the few people who had been inviting me ignored me instead. Until fourth grade, I wasn't fat so much as out of shape. People ridiculed me for being horrible at gym, but never commented on my weight. Around fourth grade, I wasn't aware of being fat but all of a sudden people made fun of me for it on a daily basis. This continued well into middle school, where I was more aware of the problem (5'2" and 130 pounds). I made a few friends there, but they weren't close and ended up laughing at my weight as well.

Once I hit high school, things improved a little bit. I went from 5'2" to 5'8" in less than a year, with only a 10-pound weight gain. Freshman year, at 140 pounds, I looked good (though I didn't think so at the time). Because I hadn't revised my eating habits to maintain a healthy weight, I ended up weighing 165 pounds by sophomore year, and leveled out for the rest of high school. During my junior year, I finally made a couple of close friends whom I still keep in touch with today. Back when I talked with them regularly, I didn't feel as self conscious so I made no effort to lose weight.

Between junior and senior year, I participated in a summer program at a very prestigious university. The change of environment was a shock, and I became very self-conscious again, essentially starving myself and going back to 140-ish pounds. The weight came back when I returned home, and stayed the same throughout the rest of high school.

Things changed in college. I quickly realized that I wasn't going to fit in or make friends with anyone, and combined with no parental control over what I ate, I binged - mostly on snack food, pizza and Chinese food. Freshman year started at 165, by FALL BREAK I weighed 182, and by the end of freshman year I weighed 200. That summer, my parents were supportive and I managed to get back to 175, which I maintained throughout my sophomore and junior years with some fluctuation. After my junior year, I participated in an internship and the nearest grocery store wasn't within walking distance. My roommates rarely felt like giving me a lift, so I ate out all the time. You can guess what happened - my senior year started at 205 pounds. Thanks to stress-eating, I've been at that weight until currently, and am finally trying to lose it again.

Currently
I am going to do Weight Watchers again, since that's worked in the past and doesn't involve my giving up any particular food. Additionally, I'm going to try to exercise on the bike or treadmill 30 minutes a day 6 days a week, though my schedule gets busy and there's too much homework to make time some days. It's nice to see other people here on WW as well!

Goals
- At 5'9", to weigh 135 pounds. Depending on how I look and feel as the weight loss progresses, this is subject to change.
- To fit into stylish clothes that I like, and be able to experiment with alternative fashion without worrying about flab oozing out everywhere.
- To be in better shape and have more energy.
- To have better self-control over food and not eat out of stress.
- To look pretty for once in my life before I'm too old for that to happen.  

[+[Teh Amish Kotex Fairy]+]

Hysterisches Zyanid

First, having looked at the before/after thread and read other posters' histories, kudos to everyone making these tremendous efforts!
History
I started out as a fairly normal kid, except that I had no friends through all of elementary school. I was an only child and rarely got invited by people in the neighborhood to play. My social skills sucked so badly that gradually the few people who had been inviting me ignored me instead. Until fourth grade, I wasn't fat so much as out of shape. People ridiculed me for being horrible at gym, but never commented on my weight. Around fourth grade, I wasn't aware of being fat but all of a sudden people made fun of me for it on a daily basis. This continued well into middle school, where I was more aware of the problem (5'2" and 130 pounds). I made a few friends there, but they weren't close and ended up laughing at my weight as well.

Once I hit high school, things improved a little bit. I went from 5'2" to 5'8" in less than a year, with only a 10-pound weight gain. Freshman year, at 140 pounds, I looked good (though I didn't think so at the time). Because I hadn't revised my eating habits to maintain a healthy weight, I ended up weighing 165 pounds by sophomore year, and leveled out for the rest of high school. During my junior year, I finally made a couple of close friends whom I still keep in touch with today. Back when I talked with them regularly, I didn't feel as self conscious so I made no effort to lose weight.

Between junior and senior year, I participated in a summer program at a very prestigious university. The change of environment was a shock, and I became very self-conscious again, essentially starving myself and going back to 140-ish pounds. The weight came back when I returned home, and stayed the same throughout the rest of high school.

Things changed in college. I quickly realized that I wasn't going to fit in or make friends with anyone, and combined with no parental control over what I ate, I binged - mostly on snack food, pizza and Chinese food. Freshman year started at 165, by FALL BREAK I weighed 182, and by the end of freshman year I weighed 200. That summer, my parents were supportive and I managed to get back to 175, which I maintained throughout my sophomore and junior years with some fluctuation. After my junior year, I participated in an internship and the nearest grocery store wasn't within walking distance. My roommates rarely felt like giving me a lift, so I ate out all the time. You can guess what happened - my senior year started at 205 pounds. Thanks to stress-eating, I've been at that weight until currently, and am finally trying to lose it again.

Currently
I am going to do Weight Watchers again, since that's worked in the past and doesn't involve my giving up any particular food. Additionally, I'm going to try to exercise on the bike or treadmill 30 minutes a day 6 days a week, though my schedule gets busy and there's too much homework to make time some days. It's nice to see other people here on WW as well!

Goals
- At 5'9", to weigh 135 pounds. Depending on how I look and feel as the weight loss progresses, this is subject to change.
- To fit into stylish clothes that I like, and be able to experiment with alternative fashion without worrying about flab oozing out everywhere.
- To be in better shape and have more energy.
- To have better self-control over food and not eat out of stress.
- To look pretty for once in my life before I'm too old for that to happen.

Oh god, the social skills that I also lacked. D:
I finally figured out how to speak to others with out being completely awkward by 10th grade because of Speech Team. I found an interest in drama, thankfully.
5'2" and 135 isn't fat at all. : I'm 5'1" and 137lbs, and I only consider that chubby. But, I do have quite a bit of muscle on me. I have a friend that is 145lbs and 5'0", and she's kinda fat. Funny how that works. But I lurve her. <3
You must have lived in a douche bag of a city. D:

And the college weight... Oh my. >.< A BIG reason why I'm trying to learn to exercise right now.


- To look pretty for once in my life before I'm too old for that to happen.
I sympathize with this goal. I'm told I'm pretty, cute, whatever. But, I want my BODY to be pretty before I get too old. D:

I wish you goodluck! I hope you can stick to your plan. :]

 

[+[Teh Amish Kotex Fairy]+]

I've been sick for the past week and haven't been able to exercise.
gonk

But today I'm joining a program with the Y!
This better keep me on track.

 

[themadwriter]

I always work best with these sort of posts by going through them one by one.

So, what are you doing here?
I've tried dozens of times to lose weight and no program or support group ie, my mother, has ever helped. In joining this guild I hope to meet other people and join a community who can help me and whom I can help to reach our fitness goals.

How do you exercise?
Currently I have been trying to exercise regularly. The weather has gotten nicer so I have taken to running and walking up and down my block. One side running and the other side walking with 3lbs weights. I haven't been able to run up the whole block yet, but that's my goal for now. I also do one exercise video, a workout on Gold's Gym Boxing for the Wii, and EA Sports More Activities also for the Wii.

Need advice?
I'm scared to death that even if I lose the weight, I will have to have surgery to remove the excess skin. Frankly I can't afford anything like that which just makes me feel like there is no point in even trying to lose weight if I'll just turn into a giant skin creature. I suppose the real advice I need is how to break the habits of self deprecation and my over eating habit. I also am a binge eater that needs to break this habit.

Have tips for me?
Yes, I believe in you and that you are able to reach your goal.

What in your life has lead you up to this exact point with your body?
In grade school, I was the tallest girl in my class (until 6th grade when the boys finally grew up) and also ended up being the scapegoat this resulted in constantly being called fat all the time. At home, things weren't much better. My mother also called me "Miss Pigitha" and eventually I learned to follow her own habits of stress eating and since my family never did anything athletic I never got out to exercise. Although I was sent to different sports camps during the summer, it was never willingly done and thus led to my own hate of any physical exercise. This basis has led to a lifelong struggle to not only lose weight, but to love myself as well. Currently I had to move back home after college due to a lack of money, this has resulted in depression again that has led to reaching my highest weight of 210 lbs.

How do you feel in public about your looks?
Due to my record high weight recently I have been very embarrassed to go out in public because of how I look. I have sworn not to buy any clothes until I reach my goal of 130 lbs. Unfortunately I also work at Old Navy so this promise and working with clothes is really hard. Even if there are other people bigger then me, I still feel huge, like I should apologize for even being there in people's way. Having never been comfortable with my height either being tall and overweight are not a good combination. It is my hope that by losing the weight I'll be more comfortable with my height as well.

GOAL!

My weight now- 210 lbs
Waist line- 40 inches

Wanted weight- 130
Waist line- I'm not sure what would be the ideal waist line for me at this weight, if anyone does know, I would appreciate the knowledge  

[+[Teh Amish Kotex Fairy]+]

Waistline Chart  

[+[Teh Amish Kotex Fairy]+]

themadwriter

I always work best with these sort of posts by going through them one by one.

So, what are you doing here?
I've tried dozens of times to lose weight and no program or support group ie, my mother, has ever helped. In joining this guild I hope to meet other people and join a community who can help me and whom I can help to reach our fitness goals.

How do you exercise?
Currently I have been trying to exercise regularly. The weather has gotten nicer so I have taken to running and walking up and down my block. One side running and the other side walking with 3lbs weights. I haven't been able to run up the whole block yet, but that's my goal for now. I also do one exercise video, a workout on Gold's Gym Boxing for the Wii, and EA Sports More Activities also for the Wii.

Need advice?
I'm scared to death that even if I lose the weight, I will have to have surgery to remove the excess skin. Frankly I can't afford anything like that which just makes me feel like there is no point in even trying to lose weight if I'll just turn into a giant skin creature. I suppose the real advice I need is how to break the habits of self deprecation and my over eating habit. I also am a binge eater that needs to break this habit.

Have tips for me?
Yes, I believe in you and that you are able to reach your goal.

What in your life has lead you up to this exact point with your body?
In grade school, I was the tallest girl in my class (until 6th grade when the boys finally grew up) and also ended up being the scapegoat this resulted in constantly being called fat all the time. At home, things weren't much better. My mother also called me "Miss Pigitha" and eventually I learned to follow her own habits of stress eating and since my family never did anything athletic I never got out to exercise. Although I was sent to different sports camps during the summer, it was never willingly done and thus led to my own hate of any physical exercise. This basis has led to a lifelong struggle to not only lose weight, but to love myself as well. Currently I had to move back home after college due to a lack of money, this has resulted in depression again that has led to reaching my highest weight of 210 lbs.

How do you feel in public about your looks?
Due to my record high weight recently I have been very embarrassed to go out in public because of how I look. I have sworn not to buy any clothes until I reach my goal of 130 lbs. Unfortunately I also work at Old Navy so this promise and working with clothes is really hard. Even if there are other people bigger then me, I still feel huge, like I should apologize for even being there in people's way. Having never been comfortable with my height either being tall and overweight are not a good combination. It is my hope that by losing the weight I'll be more comfortable with my height as well.

GOAL!

My weight now- 210 lbs
Waist line- 40 inches

Wanted weight- 130
Waist line- I'm not sure what would be the ideal waist line for me at this weight, if anyone does know, I would appreciate the knowledge

Awe. Damn families. D:
My sister made me cry in 4th grade, calling me fat. I was only CHUBBY.
D: <
That made me get fat, though. D:
What's your height? I put a link to average waistlines, but I think that an inch should be added to each.... 24 inches for a 5'1" is WAY skinny.

For the skin, use lots of pure cocoa butter each day. Also, don't lose weight UBER fast. That'll leave you with a ton of skin. Just go slow, and it can shed itself in daily dead skin cells.

I feel uncomfortable sitting down in public because my fat creates rolls. D:

 

[themadwriter]

Thanks for the link to the waistline chart and the tips on keeping skin from being a problem. I'm 5'11" so according to this chart I need to be at 28 inches. I'm not sure how I feel about that, but it's something to keep in mind.  

[Roslin]

I don't know how I feel about the waist chart. Everyone has a different body shape and I would prefer if it had a range of waistlines instead of just one. I'm at 30 inches currently at 5'8" but I don't think I'll lose 4 inches in the next 6 pounds.  

[+[Teh Amish Kotex Fairy]+]

Roslin

I don't know how I feel about the waist chart. Everyone has a different body shape and I would prefer if it had a range of waistlines instead of just one. I'm at 30 inches currently at 5'8" but I don't think I'll lose 4 inches in the next 6 pounds.

I also feel that it's unequal.

24 inches for any waist is extremely tiny.

 

[Stars in my Pocket]

I'm here because I'm not comfortable with my weight (obviously). I was 138 in my sophomore year of highschool, and was so sick of looking down and seeing belly; of poking and feeling a bowl of jelly. So I stopped eating so much, I ate when I was hungry and only until I was not hungry (never full), and I dropped weight quite nicely. I saw results and just wanted... more. I dropped to 113lbs, and stayed between 113-115 for most of my junior year at WOHS. Then, during my senior year, my dad fell ill. I lost it. I lost control of everything, so I feel deeply into bulimia. No purging, but binge/starve binge/starve. I would chew food and spit it out so I wouldn't get "fat". I saw everything as ugly, huge, distorted. 0 size jeans disgusted me. Blech. I was nothing. My father died. I stopped eating altogether. I'd take in 500 calories every other day or so. My boyfriend didn't really notice. His brother died 6 months before, we were both depressed. I withered down to 98 pounds. I felt huge when I hit triple digits. I hated everything.
I came to terms with my loss, and I realized that I had to find my own strength to overcome anorexia. I did, but gained weight. It's hard to gain weight when you've been terrified, loathing it. But I knew that it was this or I'd die. I had stopped menstruating, I wanted kids one day, I think. Even if I didn't - I wanted the opportunity. So I ate again. And ate, and binged, and became "comfortable" again. McDonalds 1-2x per day? It was ridiculous. And so the cycle begins again, this time I have a chance to do it the right way. 129lbs, this is my chance.

I ride horses, which involves shoveling, grooming, scooping, digging, and then of course, the physical action of riding. I burn roughly 500 calories every time I go to the barn, likely more, and go 3x per week at least. I'm doing 8 minute abs every day (Day 7 woo!) and need to start with more cardio/jogging. I have bad exercise-induced asthma, which I need to get under control and actually treat. (Untreated since 3rd grade).

I only wear XL-sized hoodies + jeans in public, or my riding clothes. I hate clothes and how they look on me, I've never been fashionable. I haven't worn a dress in years, and only then when mandatory. I'm such a tomboy.

That's me in a nutshell. Lots to fix, just like everyone else. x) <3

I want to be more social.
I want a 4-pack.
I want to feel good about myself.
I'd like to be 115lbs.
We have like, the same goals. :D  

[BitterFantasy]

My History

As a child I was very "buff". i weighed alot more than everyone else but it was truly muscle. As a kid i was SO energetic. I play softball and gymnastics and dance constantly. When i wasnt doing that i was outdoors with other children on my block. Since i started out so young with all the training for my activities i winded up buff (started dancing at 18months. softball at age 4. gymnastics at age 3). since all three took a lot of endurance and power and muscle i gained it quick. by the time i was nine i was 4'8" and 124 lbs. the doctor didnt see anything wrong with it because my body fat percentage was so small.
as the next couple years went by i dropped gymnastics and was 5'0". over the years i still ate the same amount as i had even after i dropped softball at the age of 13. so as my activity level started to decrease my eating habits stayed the same. at the age of 14 my sister started making rude comments about gaining little bits of weight which caused me to eat even more.
I finally had to stop dancing a couple months ago because i aged out of competitive so now there went the 4 times a week intense workouts. my legs are bulky because there is maybe about 1-2% of fat in them now (which isnt bad just for legs alone).my legs are rock hard which makes me happy.my torso carries all of body fat right now though so i have back flab, side flab, and stomach flab (including lower abs definitely) which make me look chubby. so if i get rid of all of it id be happy. its my only problem area. so now i feel heavy and really have to fix this especially since im in college now.i dont wanna change my lower half at all just the torso.  

[BitterFantasy]

ideal waistline:25-27.5in...umm...so about a size 1 to size 5.. actually i want to be a size 5..just dont see that happening.  

[+[Teh Amish Kotex Fairy]+]

Stars in my Pocket

I'm here because I'm not comfortable with my weight (obviously). I was 138 in my sophomore year of highschool, and was so sick of looking down and seeing belly; of poking and feeling a bowl of jelly. So I stopped eating so much, I ate when I was hungry and only until I was not hungry (never full), and I dropped weight quite nicely. I saw results and just wanted... more. I dropped to 113lbs, and stayed between 113-115 for most of my junior year at WOHS. Then, during my senior year, my dad fell ill. I lost it. I lost control of everything, so I feel deeply into bulimia. No purging, but binge/starve binge/starve. I would chew food and spit it out so I wouldn't get "fat". I saw everything as ugly, huge, distorted. 0 size jeans disgusted me. Blech. I was nothing. My father died. I stopped eating altogether. I'd take in 500 calories every other day or so. My boyfriend didn't really notice. His brother died 6 months before, we were both depressed. I withered down to 98 pounds. I felt huge when I hit triple digits. I hated everything.
I came to terms with my loss, and I realized that I had to find my own strength to overcome anorexia. I did, but gained weight. It's hard to gain weight when you've been terrified, loathing it. But I knew that it was this or I'd die. I had stopped menstruating, I wanted kids one day, I think. Even if I didn't - I wanted the opportunity. So I ate again. And ate, and binged, and became "comfortable" again. McDonalds 1-2x per day? It was ridiculous. And so the cycle begins again, this time I have a chance to do it the right way. 129lbs, this is my chance.

I ride horses, which involves shoveling, grooming, scooping, digging, and then of course, the physical action of riding. I burn roughly 500 calories every time I go to the barn, likely more, and go 3x per week at least. I'm doing 8 minute abs every day (Day 7 woo!) and need to start with more cardio/jogging. I have bad exercise-induced asthma, which I need to get under control and actually treat. (Untreated since 3rd grade).

I only wear XL-sized hoodies + jeans in public, or my riding clothes. I hate clothes and how they look on me, I've never been fashionable. I haven't worn a dress in years, and only then when mandatory. I'm such a tomboy.

That's me in a nutshell. Lots to fix, just like everyone else. x) <3

I want to be more social.
I want a 4-pack.
I want to feel good about myself.
I'd like to be 115lbs.
We have like, the same goals. :D

We do! biggrin

I think if something like that happened to my parents... I would have ended up doing the same thing. Dx
I can't eat when something has taken over my brain. It's just a no-no.

Just thinking about the hardships in Africa makes me not want to eat daily.

 

[+[Teh Amish Kotex Fairy]+]

BitterFantasy

ideal waistline:25-27.5in...umm...so about a size 1 to size 5.. actually i want to be a size 5..just dont see that happening.

I'm so glad you were in sports when you little! It should be easier to make your body exercise.

I was never active as a child. I like video games and doing artsy stuff.
.________.;


You can make it to a size five for sure.
:]

I'm 137 and a size 5, but I have an extremely small frame.

 

[BitterFantasy]

+[Teh Amish Kotex Fairy]+

BitterFantasy

ideal waistline:25-27.5in...umm...so about a size 1 to size 5.. actually i want to be a size 5..just dont see that happening.

I'm so glad you were in sports when you little! It should be easier to make your body exercise.

I was never active as a child. I like video games and doing artsy stuff.
.________.;


You can make it to a size five for sure.
:]

I'm 137 and a size 5, but I have an extremely small frame.

Since my legs are very muscular so they wont be able to fit unfortunately. my waist may someday get that small but my large almost pure muscle legs that are already lengthen but refuse to be lean. i want the long lean muscles but in my family our muscles are bulky unfortunately. ive tried for years to reduce the bulk and by trying it gets worse. they have been bulky since i was five gonk .

yeah its simple for me to exercise which makes it tougher for cardio.my body quickly adjusts to all workouts so finding something challenging for my body is hard. anything that involves my legs are out. no matter what the workout i can never even break a sweat for some odd reason and i dont get tired.it may be that once your muscles learn something they never forget kind of thing.

i dont even know what my frame is. on the bottom half im pretty small but bulky muscular thighs.but my whole torso and waist i have no idea about.

Edit: When i return to college im starting on an ergometer to help with the back flab is my torso's major problem.then i just need to focus on the lower abs flab.