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 Posted: Mon Nov 09, 2009 4:55 pm
I just have this one thing to say: Thank you Slumbering Princess for this topic. I know that "Oh, woest me, I'm alone" complex is in more people than we care to believe, and it feels good to know that people aren't afraidto express their feelings, on both ends. I'm mildy surprised at the male points of view(sans Ryzan, cause he just LOVES having everyones ears at his attention! rofl ) and I'm glad that I came across this and read it. A lot of the questions I also had have been answered and I've been given some things to think on and intergrate in my life. I'll keep a look out on this topic and keep reading. Trust me, your pain is not mediocre, and what you feel is what you feel until you feel differently.
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Posted: Sun Nov 15, 2009 7:40 pm
take your time finding the right person. don't make the same mistake i did when i was your age. i rushed a relationship and ended up married to a complete a*****e for 6 years. all i have to say is thank god for divorce whee xd now i'm 29 and single again. i'd love to go back in time and slap some sense into myself. good things come to those who wait. you'll find your special guy when you're not looking for him. good luck heart 4laugh heart
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Posted: Sun Nov 22, 2009 8:43 am
Ladies, there is no such thing as Prince Charming. Neither men nor women are perfect. You need to marry your best friend. Someone who will let you be yourself no matter what. Someone you can talk to and share with. Someone you have fun with and laugh with. Someone who will stand by you when the going gets rough. AND VICE VERSA.
If some ladies would just stop looking so hard for "the one" they may find they have what they are looking for right under their noses.
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Posted: Sun Nov 22, 2009 8:57 am
Heh I might as well add my 2 cents to this, no one is perfect this is true, and love can seem to be more of a pain then it already is. Rushing for love may seem like a good idea however lately even I see the best thing to do is to be with the friends who care for you. Sure some times people get lonely and want love I, too am one of those people however lately I have been through lets say alot of bull we shall say and find myself happy with things the way they are and that is with my friends cause they mean the world to me. My friends online or offline mean alot to me so those in the guild here that know me I want to say I love you all in each and everyway cause I care for you.
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Posted: Thu Nov 26, 2009 12:57 am
well i never said I want prince charming or someone perfect. I know neither of those things exist. I just dont understand why I feel like the clock is ticking, and if I dont find him now I never will.
Though Im becoming happy just being with myself. It sucks being lonely, and christmas always makes me sad.
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Posted: Thu Nov 26, 2009 10:40 am
I feel your pain Slumbering the holidays mainly Christmas can be painful when your alone but that is why we have friends.
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Posted: Fri Nov 27, 2009 4:20 am
I don't really do the friends thing. I have 2 friends irl that are close and mean a lot to me. And I also have my sister whos been my bestfriend all my life. But outside of that I don't keep many friends.
But I definitely am beginning to enjoy me and myself, but these moments are when I wish I had someone by my side the most.
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Posted: Fri Nov 27, 2009 5:12 am
I do not understand why this time should be held up with such greater importance than all others in relation to being with someone. It is not as if the winter holidays are made for couples, nor that being in a relationship is that particularly stressed within the celebration of said holidays.
If not being with someone at a certain time of year depresses you, then perhaps you should rethink what that time of year actually means to you instead of telling yourself that you "should be with someone" or thinking that you "need to be with someone" at that time. Granted, this is likely to be easier for some than others depending on how long they have thought of holidays as a "time for couples". What makes a day important is how much importance you give to it. My family had not really held any holiday to that great of importance so it was easy for me to not feel "holiday blues", as they say, because it was almost just like any other day to me.
If thinking of holidays as "just another day" is too "jaded" for you, there is also the option of switching your holiday priorities. So instead of thinking that you should be with a lover or how much you wished to have a lover, think of what you could do with the people already in your life and how you would like to enjoy your time with them, or how you would like to make the day special for someone else already in your life, such as your family or friends.
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Intellectual Conversationalist
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Posted: Fri Nov 27, 2009 4:25 pm
Well like many people of said the "perfect" person for you is/will be your best friend. And i agree with bellaxxmuerte when you dtop lookin you will find them, i myself found my bf who i've been with for 4yrs now at a time when i thought i dint want to be datin i dint trust many men for reasons i wont go in to. He was my friend foremost and things grew from there.
And don't feel like time is runnin out for you. I'm 24 and in NO rush to get married, jus because you arent married doesn't mean you'll end up alone it jus means tha you value wha marriage is and means and arent rushin in to it for the whole big look at me day!
On the note of Christmas, I was brought up to believe and still do believe it is a time for family not couples i know this might not be easy to see straight away but because of work I only have christmas day off and not bein able to drive i canna go anywhere so me and my bf are inevitably apart over xmas as his family lives down elsewhere in the country, and i go to my parents for christmas.
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Posted: Thu Dec 03, 2009 7:05 pm
My aunt had two kids to raise when my uncle divorced her. She was 30 years old at the time. She gave up dating or even going out with with other adults. She focused on her kids, her mother and her job and that was it.
Once her kids were raised and well on their own she started taking time with her friends and after she met a man she was interested in, she started dating him.
I see so many young girls rushing into relationships and I was one of them. But I was an old soul even as a young girl and wanted to do nothing more than have a family. Probably because mine as a child and teen was so chaotic.
Some girls do well with entering a long term serious relationship are able to handle it maturely. Not implying that you made a mistake or was immature as there are a lot of men who need to slow it down when it comes to relationships too. But the majority of young girls need more time to mature and they often make mistakes in choosing a mate. That biological clock is ticking at a younger and younger these days and some girls think if they don't have a man by the time they're fourteen and a child by sixteen, they've wasted their life.
I say enjoy being a mom right now and don't worry about a man just yet. You have your daughter, I think you said daughter (my memory is shot my apologies if I got it wrong), men will come along later and you'll be ready to devote your time to a serious relationship again.
I hope I didn't come off as snobbish, or insulting. I can never tell over the net and I'm afraid I make a lot of people uncomfortable.
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Posted: Tue Dec 08, 2009 8:32 pm
I believe in the 'Someone Just For Me'. After being married 3 times, having as many kids, and not being able to see any of them, it should be enough to make me not want anything to do with it at all. But I refuse to fall into that. Myself, I would want a partner, a person who looks after me as much as I would look after them. Way I see it, people have to understand each other. They have to at least try to understand each other. And yes, in not looking for someone, it can yield the more positive results. I think it is important that, when faced with something you don't understand, accept it. then calmly observe the situation and secure your position. If you put yourself in a place where you are comfortable, you'll be better off for it.
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