Marrying a non-christian?

[Ixor Firebadger]

Yeah...I feel ya on that one Hawkgirl. Last 'Christian' I dated hardly supported the Christian ideal for a relationship and he ended up dragging me down with him. On top of that, he treated me like dirt and wasted 8 years of my life. I gave him my virginity, paid his mortgage for several months while he was out of work and spent more time playing computer games than job-hunting and wouldn't even give me rides too and from work even though I was killing myself on OT to help him keep his house. And he still couldn't promise me that he would put a ring on my finger. I never saw a cent back from all that money I pumped into his house, either.

The non-Christian I'm sort of involved with now doesn't really even have that much of an interest in sex, so that's not an issue. And he doesn't tell me what to believe in. On top of that, he treats me with a much more Christ-like love than the Christian did. He's there when I need him and he does the things he knows are going to make me feel loved by him, even though they don't really come easily for him.

 

[freelance lover]

I think it could work depending on the couple. Personally, I'm not sure I could do it, but it would really depend.

I think sharing your faith with your partner is extremely important, and, fun fact, studies show that couples who pray together actually have better sex. I think it something you need to decide about how you want to interact with your partner on a spiritual level. Personally, I prefer to keep my prayers to myself, but my boyfriend and I regularly discuss our religious views with one another. He calls himself a Transcendentalist, but in reality he's a Christian with views very similar to mine. My previous "relationship" was with a guy who was very Christian, and has since gotten more conservative since leaving for college. He basically decided when he wanted to see me, and when he was done with me, etc. He abused my forgiving nature and took advantage of my loyalty. In the end, he ended up being a total jerk. While people would probably consider him more "Christian" than my current boyfriend, my current boyfriend treats me much, much better and actually makes me feel like I have a sense or worth.

I've seen some relationships that work, and others that have just crashed and burned. It really comes down to treating it like any other relationship- communication and making sure you're both on the same page.  

[Priestley]

A quick comment on this:

I think going into a relationship with a non-Christian means that a person is somewhat prepared to be on the end of a different perspective on relationship issues and is more willing to open communication channels.

Going into a relationship with a Christian might mean that a person assumes that both people will have the same/similar opinion on those issues and won't feel the need to talk about them.

I think this is a danger that all Christian couples face and is a point that is often left out when Christian lecturers and expounders of scripture talk about being "unequally yoked". It is often oversimplified to the point "marry a Christian or you're doomed to fail."  

[Xandris]

Priestley has some good points too. What most people fail to consider in the 'equally yoked' discussions is that you're supposed to be at roughly the same place in your walk as your partner, along with having roughly the same intellectual, emotional and spiritual maturity.

I was married to a Christian for a time, and ultimately, she and I weren't in the same places intellectually and emotionally. My new relationship has us matched much better in every area except religion: and even then, we have the same spiritual maturity, even if it's aimed at two different things. I consider this relationship to be much stronger and better for me, even if religion is something we don't agree on. It's actually something for us to discuss between ourselves, sometimes seriously, sometimes jokingly, but it always brings us closer.