Hypocrisies in the gothic community?

[VampyricOrigins]

AEtherclaw

VampyricOrigins

Goth Is A Way Of Life, Is A LifeStyle....Just Because You Dress In Black And Listen To "Gothic Music" Doesn't Make You Goth....To Be "Goth" Is To Have A Dark State Of Mind, But I'm Not Saying Your Not Because I Don't Know You..But Maybe They Feel Like Your Being A Poser? No Idea >_< Some People Are Just Anti-Social And So On

no, it's really first and foremost just music, a genre of post-punk/punk with a heavy glam influence. though there can be mindsets common among fans of it and often expressed through it the only thing that makes someone a goth is being a fan of the music even if they dress like Hanna Montanan, live in a tree house, and constantly smile. but they do get extra points if there cross dressing lol

Touche' lol Like I Said In Another Thread, There Are So Many Different Subgroups Of Goth...What May Work For Another My Not Work For Another  

[Henneth Annun]

Digital Malevolence

I haven't had that problem.

I actually just found out recently that many people look up to me. neutral

Happens to me too, no idea why though. If I were anyone else I'd stay away from me. neutral  

[Lucifer of Love]

I, myself, am a honest person. I speak as freely and openly as anyone wants me to, I am sarcastic, I have my manners, I am polite, I have a long trech coat which I love dearly, I scare people at times and isn't exactly afraid to express on what people thinks of me, I don't wear neither makeup or color my nails black and I wear an Ankh as proudly as I can; Still, people have said that I am one of the "Gothiest" people they have met. But each time someone, out of the blue, asks me if I'm a Goth, I simply answer "Goth is a lifestyle, a sub-Culture, an idea of change - I, myself, follow it."  

[DreamerSpirit]

Kaishi Kyouki

Well, college is wonderful, and I get along with most people at my art school. Except the gothic community. I don't know why, but they seem to stick their nose up at me, acting extremely pretentious. Now, is this because I smile, and am a joking person, and there is an extreme animosity towards that, or am I just surrounded by the gothic version of preps?

For example, when I said I was a goth, at least 3 of them practically yelled at me 'no you're not!' I'm a happy person, and I consider myself a goth, does that not count? I enjoy gothic music, and I like the gothic style... and I consider myself a nice, polite person. I think a lot of the goths I talk to on the internet seem nice, polite and intelligent, but I'm wondering if you act that way in front of everyone.

Some people are just stuck up. Especially if they are just out of high school. I don't mean to stereotype, as I know that a lot of high school kids and college freshmen in the scene are NOT this way, but there is that minority that is. I have even found a few adults who act this way in the Boston club scene, but they are few and far between.I think that over time most people grow out of it eventually, but some do not. The adult versions of these pretentious people are basically those older goths who look down on younger generations for whatever reason.

However, I am not at all like this. I am very shy, but I am friendly if people initiate conversations with me. I am generally a happy and bubbly person, ot the mopey melancholic stereotypical goth.



I consider myself very lucky when it comes to the local-ish scene though.

The Boston scene is big and easy to get lost in if you don't know anyone (and are too shy to try to work your way into it.) And it does have some of those people who are always saying bad things about the young pople in the scene.


However, there are a lot of other clubs in nearby cities; far enough away from Boston so that there isn't the complete same scene as you'd find in the city, but close enough that you'll run into a small group of people in both Boston and whatever other city you club in. The club I usually go to is about an hour outside of Boston proper. It's very small, but I really love it. Everyone is welcoming- the first night I went there a lot of people noticed that I was new, and started talking to me. Though there is a generational gap between myself and most of the other patrons, I have never had any problems with them speaking badly of the young people in the scene. They seem more than happy to chat with me and my college-aged friends, as peers, not as "newbies who need to be taught the ways of the goth!!!" They don't take the subculture super-seriously (though they do know what they are talking about with it) so it makes everything a lot more enjoyable.  

[NewAgeAntique]

A lot of Goths stick their noses up at me because I'm a happy person and I don't always say things that fit my steriotype. Actually I have no idea why I consider myself Goth besides the fact that everyone who isn't thinks I am, so why not? Also it used to be fun and about the music and blah blah blah... the usual you know. But even on the internet now I have people correcting me when I state my opinions as if I'm wrong just because i'm not following some mysterious "I***t's guide to Gothiness."
I hate the Goths who are basicly the extact same thing as the cheerleaders minus the color. Who cares if someone wears bluejeans or likes to be happy? It doesn't make them a lesser person. It doesn;t give you a license to hate them because they aren't the same as you. That just sinks you as low as the rest if humanity who hates and fears the unknown. Goth is about breaking out of that and being different, so why hate those who are different from you being different. I don't get it? In my opinion those people aren't worth the time it would take to argue with them. Just make friends with people who you enjoy being around and don't worry about what they look like, you can still enjoy being goth yourself and you'll probably either convert yourfriends or meet some nicer more intelligent goths eventually.  

[Keevan Draco]

sounds like eagaltarian eliteism to me, just ignore it and be who you are on the inside/outside and bugger tha whole lot of em'.

i'm old...I could say "been there, done that" but that wouldn't help you one bit....

one key trick of social interaction, i find, in the goth community is to find that small sliver of common ground (wether it's music, clothes, belief systems, ect.) and build a bridge across the gaps. sure, at first you are swinging on a rope bridge for a little bit, in undiscovered territory and swinging in the breeze, but soon you build more solid and substantial pathways between you and other goths till you have constructed a mighty fortress impregnible to the slings and arrows of the outside world. enjoy the silence....

as for that other group ya mentioned....sounds like they are very insecure in their darker side, and ignorant of the possibilities that could exist between you and them...(sad fact....some goths like to believe that they, or their close inner circles, are the only goths that exist in the universe and everyone else is just pretending...that's why they act in such oogie behavior. Keep the dark faith...there are others like you out there in the night, your ships have not yet crossed paths...  

[doom1000]

i never had that problem....infact all that scene vs punk vs goth s**t does barely even exist in my area... maybe its becuase our scene is more about bieng yourself than about the fashion and music. We have people who listens to MCR (like my ex girlfrined wich im still friends with) and people who listen to christian death (another one of my friends), and they get along just fine.
Offcourse music and fashion is still a huge part of our scene as it is often discussed but its more how you are as a person that decides if you are welcome in the scene.

and for those idiot "goths" at your school: screw them. they dont sound like people that i would like to hang out with....they give the rest of us a bad reputation. No matter how big a collection of bauhaus records they could possibly have, they would never be accapted into our community, simply because they are way to arrogant.  

[Satan on Speed]

I've earned my reputation in the small town I live in, so no matter what I wear, if i'm not considered goth, i'm still considered damn scary. I also have pink hair, so, no matter what I wear it's always somewhat of a warning sign. Normal people act as if i'm the boogeyman packed into 5'4. Even guys on the football team get nervous around me!

I'm usually a bouncing ball of energy when i'm around people I know, but when I don't know someone I tend to be quiet and that makes me seem sinister apparently. Once they get to know me a bit better though, i'm happy as can be and usually somewhat bubbly but am idolized by the "hardcore" younglings. Then again, I take out my energy in violent ways. Boys have to have a high pain tolerance to deal with me. I usually don't play well with girls.

The younglings, freshman in highschool, are nothing but hottopic junkies and wouldn't dare try to say anything. The girls find me as the older, more intimidating one and are near terrified to be on my bad side. I don't talk to them much. The boys find me halarious when they get to know me, but are always intimidated at first. One of them told me the first time they met me they thought I might kill them. When we become friends though, they usually aren't scared anymore unless I get hyper enough to become violent. The ones my age are still somewhat afraid but that is more because they know just how much pain I can put them in. When I meet an older goth around my age they are usually just extremely curious about me, and when they discover my bubbley nature they don't mind at all.

In a nut shell, the other goths here are too afraid to say s**t to me much less turn their noses up.  

[Dark_Style]

I had people like this in high school. They were fat anime nerds that dresses in black and listened to manson. rolleyes I thought since they were the closest thing to real goth at this school I'd talk to them. I did and one said: "Who the ******** is Bauhaus? Your a ******** poser, get the ******** out of here".  

[doom1000]

Dark_Style

I had people like this in high school. They were fat anime nerds that dresses in black and listened to manson. rolleyes I thought since they were the closest thing to real goth at this school I'd talk to them. I did and one said: "Who the ******** is Bauhaus? Your a ******** poser, get the ******** out of here".

fat and like anime = fine by me
dress in black and listens to manson = fine by me
dont know bauhaus = fine by me
calling somebody a poser because they dont listen to the same music as they do = they are no better than the ignorant "omg-she's-a-vampire" preps...  

[AEtherclaw]

doom1000

Dark_Style

I had people like this in high school. They were fat anime nerds that dresses in black and listened to manson. rolleyes I thought since they were the closest thing to real goth at this school I'd talk to them. I did and one said: "Who the ******** is Bauhaus? Your a ******** poser, get the ******** out of here".

fat and like anime = fine by me
dress in black and listens to manson = fine by me
dont know bauhaus = fine by me
calling somebody a poser because they dont listen to the same music as they do = they are no better than the ignorant "omg-she's-a-vampire" preps...

dont have to be mean about it but if someone claims to be goth and doesn't even know who Bauhaus is the technically they are a poseur. that's when you find out what they do listen to and recommend the most similar goth bands.  

[Henneth Annun]

AEtherclaw

doom1000

Dark_Style

I had people like this in high school. They were fat anime nerds that dresses in black and listened to manson. rolleyes I thought since they were the closest thing to real goth at this school I'd talk to them. I did and one said: "Who the ******** is Bauhaus? Your a ******** poser, get the ******** out of here".

fat and like anime = fine by me
dress in black and listens to manson = fine by me
dont know bauhaus = fine by me
calling somebody a poser because they dont listen to the same music as they do = they are no better than the ignorant "omg-she's-a-vampire" preps...

dont have to be mean about it but if someone claims to be goth and doesn't even know who Bauhaus is the technically they are a poseur. that's when you find out what they do listen to and recommend the most similar goth bands.

If they knew enough other goth bands then I'd forgive them on that, but otherwise, maybe not. confused  

[doom1000]

so... am i really the only one who dont give a s**t about what people listen to? if its only about the music, are we then any better than the more mainstream? isnt goth more about taking a stand against mainstream and to be honest toward yourself?

soory, this may not be the right place to ask this, but i have allways had a hard time understanding that "you are only goth if you listen to bauhaus" thing.... i allways believed that goth was more than just music....  

[Bela Lugosis Dad]

doom1000

so... am i really the only one who dont give a s**t about what people listen to? if its only about the music, are we then any better than the more mainstream? isnt goth more about taking a stand against mainstream and to be honest toward yourself?

soory, this may not be the right place to ask this, but i have allways had a hard time understanding that "you are only goth if you listen to bauhaus" thing.... i allways believed that goth was more than just music....

It's a subculture that's based around the music. Without the music, the subculture would not exist. In fact, the only real requirement for being a goth, is that you are a fan of goth rock.  

[Alister_King]

I had to deal with crap like this all the tie in high school. The supposedly "goth" kids, even though none of them knew what it was to be goth or even knew much about gothic culture would yell at anyone that even tried to look the part and just call them posers. My senior year during Halloween i decided i wanted to look different so i put on sort of a gothic puck motif, and like clockwork they came at me. Yelling that blue hair and mohawks like that werent goth and that i was just a poser. I wont say what happened next because i feel ashamed for losing my temper and i dont really like to hurt people.

Just dont listen to them. You dont have to have other people acknowledging that you are goth in order to be goth. Just be yourself screw them i say.