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 Posted: Fri Sep 26, 2008 8:09 pm
Sometimes, there is nothing scarier to a kid that hearing a belt clearing belt loops. I got spanked as a kid, and only was was it bad enough to warrent more than an open handed smack on the behind. But kids nowadays and their time outs. It just doesn't do the job. Parents are letting kids get away with murder. Whenever I got a time out I didn't think about what I had done and why it was wrong. I though about how stupid I was to get caught, and how to get away with it next time! Now, I'm not saying to beat the crap out of your kids, but, like has already been said, let the punishment fit the crime. The child is a lot more likely to not do it again if they feel a little pain, rather than go to their room where their toys are.
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Posted: Sun Sep 28, 2008 2:20 pm
Well I conside myself as a proof that you can become a moral person without spanking. I was never hit by my parents, not even once.
One poster before me said something important. A "punishment" should match the crime... I would prefer the word "consequences" though. You have to explain why a behaviour is wrong. I don't think children should experience the "nature of pain" through that. If you to not tie them to their beds they will experience that sooner or later by theirselves... while playing in the garden or running to fast or... or... or...
I think some people tend to think, if you do not spank, you do not do anything against bad behaviour. That is not true. You can do a lot of more things to show, that something is wrong. If you say something you must do it. Otherwise children will learn that you do not stick to your word. I think when I get angry I am scary enough. There is no beating necessary...
Of course children should not be your emotional trashbag, but I don't think you must hide every emotion. If you are angry because of something they did, they should know.
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Posted: Sun Sep 28, 2008 4:44 pm
I spanked my children in private away from the others only if the other forms of punnishment did not work.. I found that sitting them at the dinning room table and having them read out loud to me my college surveying books, the ones that teach me he technique and science of accurately determining the terrestrial or three-dimensional space position of points and the distances and angles between them. These points are usually, but not exclusively, associated with positions on the surface of the Earth, and are often used to establish land maps and boundaries for ownership or governmental purposes. In order to accomplish their objective, surveyors use elements of geometry, engineering, trigonometry, mathematics, physics, and law, got the point across that disobeying us rendered spare time useless. For an extreme offense they had to reads 80 pages. Believe it, all my kids were 4.0 kids.
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Posted: Wed Oct 01, 2008 2:43 pm
Question(s) *raises her hand*
1. What is a 4.0 kid???? I guess it is nothing foreigners would learn in English lessons^^
2. Do you think your children learned WHY they should not do some things that way? From an educational point of view I cannot see any sense in that... maybe you can explain? I mean it's good when they do not repeat those stuff in front of you... but they might in front of others who do neither have the time nor the literature...
3. What are you working when you have the time to listen to a CHILD read out 80 pages (loud!)? I would need about 2 hours... and I am at university... BTW what do you call an "extreme offense"?
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Posted: Wed Oct 22, 2008 6:56 pm
My brother, sister, friends and I were all raised with spanking. We always understood why we were being spanked. Our parents always explained all of our punishments whether they were groundings, spankings, soap in my mouth or time in a corner.
Spanking a child not to discipline but simply to spank is wrong.
However, spanking when used to discipline in a correct manner has nothing wrong with it. As I said, I was spanked. I turned out fine as did my siblings and friends.
A lot of today's parenting is hands-off and that causes problems. I have seen children out of control in public places (like stores and restaurants) and the parents might yell at them or speak sternly, but won't do anything to physically restrain their child. The yelling and the speaking sternly very rarely work.
I would rather parents use something that might hurt the child a little but works rather than something where the parents are hands-off and it doesn't work.
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Posted: Thu Oct 23, 2008 2:39 pm
I was only spanked once as a child. It depends on the child and how they were raised in early development. Some children just don't understand until pain is put on them. Some do, some don't. If it's needed, then it's needed. If it happens a lot, the parent isn't doing something right or it's abuse. That's just my view though.
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Posted: Fri Jan 16, 2009 1:59 pm
just like anything in life...moderation is key.
children need consistent limits and consequences..too many parents these days are "too worried" about hurting their child's feelings with limit setting then they give their child anything they want...resulting in what we have now: gimme what i want NOW (i don't care what you or i have to do to get it for me) children.
my BF's daughter is this way...Mom spoils her to the point where she is filing bankruptcy and losing a fabulous house. daughter (14yo & 218lbs) was going into depression because she was worried she wouldn't get the ipod touch she asked her mom for (she told everyone a different story). well she got it and now everything is FINE. Except that Dad still expects her to do 2 little chores and her homework...what an a*****e!
yes..children need consistency and a firm spanking (when the point needs to be made)...or you get the above example.
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Posted: Fri Jan 16, 2009 3:52 pm
MHHornfreak So i saw a thread in the main forums about kids behavior these days and thought about the old days when it was okay to hit your children. I know this is a bit of a touchy subject to some people but i think it helped keep me in line when my parents would threaten to hit me. I just want to know other people's opinions on this subject. Personally, as I have stated elsewhere, I am an example of what happens when parents take it to the extreme. I can't even look at one, or even hear it jingle without running out of the room because of what my parents did. As others have posted, moderation is key. If your kid/teen is caught stealing, then by all means, bring it out, spank them, take their allowance away. But for minor things, such as forgetting to toss out the trash? No. Do not under any circumstances, hit your child for those little things. Do not take your anger out on them. Especially do not hit them if you are under the influence, on medication, etc. Whatever personal problems parents have, and I'm sure there are plenty, there is no excuse for overdoing it. There is no excuse for abuse. So my point is, provided there is proper reason, it's okay. Otherwise...no...just...no. EDIT: I just remembed. Out of the three of us, [I have another brother and half-sister] I turned out the most successful and most motivated. So...I guess out of abuse came something good. stressed
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Posted: Sun Jan 18, 2009 1:50 am
I think parents should definitely try to communicate with their kids first, but if that doesn't work, I think spanking should be used as a last resort. I know I learned my lesson when I got spanked. It's sad but there are a lot of kids out there that don't get disciplined at all; I've been seeing more and more jerky kids lately with no respect for their elders.
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Posted: Sun Jan 18, 2009 5:51 am
As a child, I feared the punishment of God and any adult family member in the entire area if I got out of line. That said, I don't approve of mindlessly beating children, but a certain level of discipline seems to create youngsters into more productive members of society. That doesn't translate into More Discipline = Better Adult, no. That can make things far worse in one way or another. In fact, after a certain age I'd say stop physical discipline altogether and remove sources of entertainment or require addition work of some sort from them.
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