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| what to do? |
| say it is something u will understand when u r bigger |
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42% |
[ 21 ] |
| it is as love. |
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44% |
[ 22 ] |
| let the kid do what he/she wants... |
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6% |
[ 3 ] |
| say shutup u kid |
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4% |
[ 2 ] |
| hit him/her in the face. |
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2% |
[ 1 ] |
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| Total Votes : 49 |
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 Posted: Sat Aug 30, 2008 4:55 pm
Glad you fixed this back up Rawashdeh_omar ~ it's a good discussion. Especially if you look at most of the topics in the GD lately.
And no, my parents really never had "the talk" with us... they were much too embarrassed. As for my own kids ~ sex ed taught them more than they needed ~ when my oldest came home in 7th grade from that class ~ oh my
I had to struggle to not giggle, as after much "EWWW GROSS" and what-not later, I was given to understand the class may have been a bit on the explicit side.
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Posted: Sat Aug 30, 2008 5:01 pm
i dont know what i would do if i was in a situation like that, i think the parents should hold nothing back from when talking about that subject, im not a parent so thats just my opinion but either way kids nowadays see the music videos and movies and think "i want to be a player like that" and girls usually fall for the "game" and i honestly believe that is one of the major problems, not just with this nation but the world, causing kids to have children which i believe has led to the worlds over population and this is what God ment by the sin.
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Posted: Sat Aug 30, 2008 5:06 pm
my mom was and always has been honest with me on this subject.
personally if im asked questions i answer them honestly, to the best of my knowledge, and without being vulgar.
kids are a lot smarter these days than most people give them credit for and if its a 13 yr old asking you what sex is well...theyre just trying to get you all embarrassed ^_^; (been there.)
as for the youngins...
all they need to know is that sex is for two people that love each other and are older.
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Posted: Sat Aug 30, 2008 5:08 pm
wifiscihifi i dont know what i would do if i was in a situation like that, i think the parents should hold nothing back from when talking about that subject, im not a parent so thats just my opinion but either way kids nowadays see the music videos and movies and think "i want to be a player like that" and girls usually fall for the "game" and i honestly believe that is one of the major problems, not just with this nation but the world, causing kids to have children which i believe has led to the worlds over population and this is what God ment by the sin. sex is not a sin. God created man and woman to connect and be fruitful, that means sex. sex is meant for a man and woman thatre married.
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Posted: Sat Aug 30, 2008 5:53 pm
I've never come across this in a forum. I would probably tell the kid to look it up or ask their parents. I would find it strange if they didn't know, 'cause they start teaching sex ed in school pretty young. In my high school you had to take a class called "personal survival" and it was all the "don't do drugs, don't drink alcohol, and here we're going to scare the sh** out of you with the sexually transmitted diseases slideshow". It was an experience. The birth video turned many kids off of sex...
I'm an environmental educator and I worked for a zoo and in spring it was always a fun experience to watch parents trying to explain mating to their children when the animals are doing it in front of them. Parents do seem to be embarrased a lot of the time.
My favorite one was a teacher telling her first grade students that the orangutans were just scratching an itch for each other... it made me silently laugh (since it would have been innappropriate to laugh out loud... lol)
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Posted: Sat Aug 30, 2008 7:29 pm
Well, I don't usually go into forums, but I come across it a bit in towns.
What I do is usually just ignore it. Or make many rude remarks and laugh while they get pissed off.
But, if I were in one of my more serious moods, I suppose I'd tell them to ask their parents, or some adult if they where to embarrassed to ask a parent.
It'd be nice to ask the kid how old they are, first of all. If it's someone really young, even younger than 13, I'd tell them that they need to think about other things. And perhaps get some kind of activity going so they wouldn't be bored, and be forced to think about it.
Kind of like when a dog gets bored, it chews up things, or is mischievous.
A child's mind ponders when it's bored.
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Posted: Sat Aug 30, 2008 7:34 pm
_shuriken7_ I've never come across this in a forum. I would probably tell the kid to look it up or ask their parents. I would find it strange if they didn't know, 'cause they start teaching sex ed in school pretty young. In my high school you had to take a class called "personal survival" and it was all the "don't do drugs, don't drink alcohol, and here we're going to scare the sh** out of you with the sexually transmitted diseases slideshow". It was an experience. The birth video turned many kids off of sex... I'm an environmental educator and I worked for a zoo and in spring it was always a fun experience to watch parents trying to explain mating to their children when the animals are doing it in front of them. Parents do seem to be embarrased a lot of the time. My favorite one was a teacher telling her first grade students that the orangutans were just scratching an itch for each other... it made me silently laugh (since it would have been innappropriate to laugh out loud... lol) Well, technically you could say he was right... they were sort of scrating an it... granted, a different kind of itch, that feels REALLY good when you scratch it. I guess the thing is, in school, they learn the science of sex, so to speak. After they start learning it, we need to work with them, to explain WHEN it's appropriate, WHY it's appropriate, and to teach them morals. If you don't teach them morals, you get my generation... Ugg... So many idiots, realizing only now, that they are idiots. That's what you get for dressing like a whore... And that's what YOU get for thinking girls are just little sex machines. Now then. Take responsibility for that baby like the responsible adults you CLAIM to be. I mean, you had SEVERAL CHOICES... And you gave them all the finger... Sometimes... quite literally... Welcome. Welcome to the cold harsh reality of life. It's about to get a LOT worse. Trust me. I may not know from THIS particular experience type thing, but... I was forced to grow up mentally at a young age... You know, with parents not raising me, and me being a girl nerd and what not...
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Posted: Sat Aug 30, 2008 7:36 pm
i never really had a "talk" w/my parents, instead my mom just gave me a book haha.
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Posted: Sat Aug 30, 2008 8:38 pm
I would try my hardest to turn them against it. There are just too many youngsters doing it these days. I know a few chicks that got pregnant at 12! I did not hesitate to tell them how inapropriate and disgusting I think it is. As for their mothers who were disgusting enough to allow it, I gave them a piece of my mind as well.
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Posted: Sat Aug 30, 2008 9:41 pm
As the mom of two teenage children, I adopted the philosophy early that if they were old enough to ask the question, they were old enough get an answer. Not some made up bs about the birds and the bees but an age appropriate answer. For example when my daughter asked me at age 5 where babies came from, I told her that were created by mommies and daddies who really loved each other. As she got older and became exposed more and more to the outside the world and it's fascination (sp?) with sex my answers became more detailed as her mentality developed. It's not the most comfortable thing to discuss with the youth of today but it should be done responsibly.
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Posted: Sat Aug 30, 2008 9:45 pm
lenoree I would try my hardest to turn them against it. There are just too many youngsters doing it these days. I know a few chicks that got pregnant at 12! I did not hesitate to tell them how inapropriate and disgusting I think it is. As for their mothers who were disgusting enough to allow it, I gave them a piece of my mind as well. You wouldn't like my neice, she's the mother a 8 month old baby. Please keep in mind that if a child has the proper guidance, self esteem and the ability to safe secure in her environment she's not going to have sex or have babies.
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Posted: Sat Aug 30, 2008 11:19 pm
As a youth co-ordinator i have been asked both in person and on the net about sex by many young kids and i have found the worst thing to do is give a blanket response to the question, there are kids who are the same age one who just cant fathom the question never mind the answer and another who knows more then a child their age awt (sp) to know, whenits in person I tend to ask them if its ok if they talk to their parents before hand, many of them get the silent treatment from parents or worse still get punished with groundings and the stopping/blocking of activities they enjoy or find comfort in, this does not however stop the curiosity merely drives them to stop asking and start doing [which is what the parents were trying to avoid]. If the child is under 13 it is not a grafic no holes barred explination that they are looking for, but a generalised not to detailed explanation, i often ask the child to tell me what they know (or think they know of the subject) and what it is about it that they are confused/misunderstanding/curious/concerned about the subject, this usually allows me to tailor the response to the childs specific 'need' to know. When the child is over 13 the response i give is a little more explanitory, but i always try to treat the child with respect as the child is trying to learn to be an adult, and by showing them respect and helping them to learn and come to terms with their own sexuality they learn to respect themselves and others and have the confidence and self awareness to not need to keep up with the trends of their peers and allows them to feel that i am not dismissing them or treating them as a 'dumb kid' as this only alienates the child and makes them more likely to 'test the waters' so to speak.
I also have an adopted daughter who is 17 and have not yet had to 'have the talk' with her, though i think she would know as much if not more then i do, she is far to inteligent and grown up for her own good
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Posted: Sat Aug 30, 2008 11:55 pm
the fact is ther is no perfict answer for this age old question. the best advice is always the truth but can the child understand it let alone use the truth for what it was ment for? a parent needs to know there child in a deap way to know when its time to give the answer. myself I learned on my own. my parent never took the chance to teahc me much of anything. but I got lucky. i grew up with a sens of pride and refusal to be like evryone els who was flaunting there body like cheep hookers at the age of 13...I thaut those people were pathetic. tho at the same time there was alot of pressure to be the guy who coul say "yea I taped that" to look cool to your peers. I guess the best answer is remeber what hapened to you and then analize what type of child your kid is. that will give you the proper respons for YOUR child.
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Posted: Sun Aug 31, 2008 12:26 am
just tell them straight out...it's a natural thing. most kids these days don't know cause people don't tell them, and they end up doing something stupid. sure, if you tell them they're going to be curious and want to know what it's like, but all you're doing by not telling them is creating a risk that they'll end up with a crash course. and don't candy coat it with that whole 'birds and the bees' stuff or whatever I know some of you overprotective parents use cause they are going to be laughed at and are going to have a really distorted version to the reality of it all. maybe I'm a bit straight forward, but I know it's the only true way for kids to be 100% aware and know how to be safe about it.
I'm actually glad I never got some of the stupid stories I've heard people have used.
"knowledge is power!" -throws fist up in the air-
ninja
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