Welcome to Gaia! ::

>w< lol!! cool! cant wait!


We should have a fanfiction subforum for all of the funny stories....!

lol that was probably 1 of the funnyest fan fic ive read lol

oooo! there's the new one....! i'll have to read!

XDDD drugs + fanfic = heart

lol cant wait!! ninja

(this one is longer but is well worth it this is by FMAFOREVER93 at deviantart.com)

The Noah clan could be considered gods among men. They were immortal, had powers no mere mortal could ever hope to have, and represented the very traits of Noah himself. All in all, the Noah were amazing people…

So why was it that each Noah was in a mortal strawberry field in the middle of the country?

Good question.

The Noah hadn’t been particularly busy in the last weeks. Every once and a while, they would go out in search for innocence, but that was pretty much it. On one particular boring day, the Earl gathered all the Noah up for their next task: They were given the task of getting the Earl some strawberries. He had had a craving for about a week and he decided, since they weren’t doing anything, that they would go get them for him. Rhode asked why exactly he needed all of them to go when it only took one to buy the strawberries and come back. But the earl didn't want store bought strawberries. He wanted fresh from the farm strawberries.

So the Noah had no choice but to go here: an old “pick your own” farm in the middle of nowhere. What a fun way to spend an afternoon

Tyki was currently browsing one isle for strawberries that looks edible “lets see…not good, not good, not good, not good, and, what a shock, not good.” He looked at each strawberry plant and couldn’t find any one that wasn’t white, disfigured, or mutated. Of all the fruit in the world, the Earl had to pick strawberries.

He was currently frowning at a strawberry with a hole right through it when Jasdevi came storming over to Tykis isle

“THIS IS USELESS!” Devitt shouted “NONE OF THESE DAMN FRUIT ARE ANY GOOD!”

“And on top of that, there are barely any at all, he.” Jasdero said.

“Looks like you two aren’t having any luck either, huh?” Tyki said, ruffling his hair a bit. “Looks like were both screwed.” He held up his basket which contained about two or three good strawberries, all of them small.

“Im not having much luck either.” Skin Bolic said who somehow materialized behind the group. His basket had only one strawberry, and even that one had a small hole in it. “Strawberries are so unforgivable.”

On the other side, Lulubell joined the group. She simply held up her empty basket and frowned more than usual.

“Not much luck either, Lulubell?” Tyki asked. She shook her head slightly.

About twenty feet away, Rhode was coming to the group.

“Well, let’s hope that Rhode had much more luck than us.” Tyki said. When Rhode finally was with the rest, she held her basket in front of her face to reveal what was in it. They were flowers. Of strawberries. Those haven’t even grown yet.

“This has been all that I was able to find.” Rhode said dryly “As of now, I am taking a strike against fruit.”

“AHHHH, THIS IS HOPELESS!!” Devitt yelled, stomping up and down “THERE’S NO POINT TO THIS!!”

“THERE’S NOTHING HERE BUT DIRT, FLOWERS, AND USELESS STRAWBERRIES, HE!!” Jasdero said, joining in his brother’s temper-tantrum

“The twins are right,” Tyki said, “it seems that all the fruit that’s good has been picked dry. This is what happens when you come to a strawberry farm 3 weeks after strawberry season started. This could not get any worse.” Tyki pulled out a cigarette from his pocket and tried to light it.

“Excuse me, sir,” one of the farm girls said to Tyki, “but please don’t smoke around the plants. It’s bad for them.” She smiled as she walked away.

“…I stand corrected.”

“We have to do something.” Skin said “if we go back to the Earl empty handed,
hell be really mad.”

“NO!!” Jasdevi said “WE CANT AFFORD TO GET IN TORUBLE WITH THE EARL ANYMORE!”

“The Earls already mad at us for failing to kill Cross.” Devitt said.

“And if we fail him one more time, who knows what he’ll do, he.” Jasdero said nervously.

“Well what do you propose we do?” Rhode asked “this whole place has been picked clean. There are virtually no more strawberries left. I mean look around.”

The Noah’s did just that. They looked at the field and saw nothing but green and white. They also saw mortals scattered around all the isles……each with a basket full of fruit.

“…how did they get all of those strawberries?” Devitt said, looking at all the mortals.

“Don’t know,” Tyki said, “but they all look perfect. Ripe red, perfect shape, no holes…”

“Looks like the mere humans are taking all the strawberries.” Skin said.
“……No, they’re taking our strawberries…” Rhode got a devilish grin on her face “and I think its time we do some…reclaiming.”

The group took a few seconds to figure out what she was talking about. After some thought, they figured out what she was getting at.

“Why Rhode, what a charming notion.” Devitt said smiling.

“Evidently practical, and yet appropriate as always, he.” Jasdero said smiling.

“You make a good point Rhode.” Tyki said “I Mean what’s ours is ours, after all.”

“What a sweet idea.” Skin said.

Lulubell smirked and nodded.
“Exactly.” Rhode said. “If the Earl wants strawberries, he’ll get strawberries…just
not ones that we picked.” She laughed a bit at the brilliance of her plan.
----

The group had just finished discussing their parts in the plan

“So is everyone clear on the plan?” Rhode asked her fellow Noah

“Yes.” They all said at once.

“Good. Now remember, keep it inconspicuous and try not to kill anyone. Good luck.”

The team nodded as they split up.

In one of the end isles, a middle age woman was struggling to get a great
strawberry she found, most likely because of back troubles. She was about to give up on it when a nice, dark tan man came over.

“Let me get that for you, ma’am.” Tyki reached down to pluck the strawberry from its stem and handed it to the lady.

“Thank you so much, sir.” She said smiling.

“Not a problem. Besides,” he took her hand. “These hands are far too beautiful to be laboring in such dirt.” He took her hand to his mouth and kissed it.

The lady blushed like crazy “o-o-oh sir,” she said, a bashful smile across her face.

Tyki smiled brightly “well I must go. My family is waiting. Audo, my sweet.” He let go of her hand and walked away.

The woman was still smiling as he walked away. She went to check her basket to see how may there “…h-hey…where did my strawberries go?” she said looking at a basket of three small strawberries.

Tyki was already about ten isles away.
As the bunny would say…strike. He thought as he walked with his basket full of strawberries, tongue sticking out.
---

A boy had just finished picking out a whole plant full of strawberries he had just found. He couldn’t believe his luck. There had been almost no more strawberries here and he got lucky enough to find about fifteen perfect ones. Along with his basket that was almost overflowing, it would make a perfect make up gift for his girlfriend.

He turned around to see if he could find any more when he bumped into someone, almost falling over.

“Oh…Im sorry about that…” he said looking forward. When he saw no one, he looked down to see a dark tan little girl with purple, spiky hair.

“Oh…that’s…alright.” She said her eyes a little watery. “I…wasn’t really watching where I was going…” she wiped her eyes of some tears.

He couldn’t help but ask. “Um…little girl…are you okay?” he said, squatting down to her level.

“No…its…nothing…I don’t wanna worry you about it.” Her eyes were watering even more.

“No, its okay…I may be able to help.”

Rhode looked up at him with sad eyes “well…you see…me and my family came here to get strawberries for my Dad. He loves strawberries and wanted us to get him some from this farm. We figured we should do it, seeing as it…” a single tear ran down her face.

“Seeing as It what?” he said.

“…Seeing is it…may be his last request. Our fathers on death bed, you see, and, since we don’t have the money to pay for any real medical care…we don’t know how much longer he can last…but…weve been searching this whole field, and we haven’t found any strawberries that we can actually give him.” She held up her empty basket and tears started to stream down her face. “I really want to do this for him but…I just…don’t know what to do.” Rhode covered her face and started to cry.

“D-don’t cry, little girl.” He said, also weeping. “It will be alright…” he took a few seconds to look at his basket. “…listen, if you really can’t find any…ill let you have mine.” He held out his basket overflowing with red fruit.

She took her hands from her face and sniffed a bit “…really?”
“Of course. My girlfriends probably gonna only eat five of six anyway.” He smiled.

Rhode jumped and hugged the boy “Oh thank you, thank you, THANK you! You don’t know how happy this makes me!” She took his basket and happily skipped off.

“Goodbye little girl. Give your father my best wishes.” The boy said as he waved.

Rhode had an evil smile plastered on her face “such an easy score. With this much, they’ll be enough left over to send to Allen-kun. Im such a good girl.” She laughed evilly to herself.
---

A girl was waking through isle after isle, picking every eye-popping strawberry she could find. She came across one she swears could weigh about 8 ounces. She picked it happily and dropped it in her basket.

“Alright, that’s my 70th strawberry. I’m on a roll today!” The teenager grinned. She kept walking to find more of her favorite fruit.

Suddenly, she felt two things pressing against her head. She immediately stopped.

“Don’t move.” Devitt said, holding his gun against her head.

“Scream and we shoot, he.” Jasdero said, holding his gun against her head.

He girls heart was pounding. She count move. She couldn’t say anything. She could only stand there, helpless.

“Listen to us because were only going to say this once.” Devitt said. “Weve been going through this whole Damn field and we haven’t found any strawberries. But it seems you’ve had more luck than us.”

“So heres the deal,” Jasdero said, “You give us the strawberries and we won’t blow your brains out. A pretty fair bargain, right?”
It took a while for the girl to find her voice. When she finally realized she could talk, she said “Yes, yes, of course, whatever you want. Just please…don’t kill me.” She handed her basket over to Devitt. He snatched it from her hand.

“Thank you very much.” Jasdevi said, patting her on the head with their guns. They started to walk away.

“One more thing,” Jasdero said, turning around and holding a list of bills, “Do you think that you could get us some money to pay of these deb- ACK!” Jasdero was dragged away by his collar by Devitt.

“Don’t push our luck, Jasdero.” Devitt said, dragging his brother away.
---
In the middle isle, a middle aged, important looking man was picking small, juicy red strawberries. He got only the small because they were all going to his two kids, who were only four years old and could only eat little things. He couldn’t wait to go home and see his children’s smiling faces. The very thought made him smile.

He turned around when he was at the end of the isle when he saw a fairly attractive woman with grey skin coming towards him. She was getting closer and closer and closer. Finally she reached him and was staring him right in the face.

“…Um, excuse me ma’am,” he said, “Can I help you with somethi…”

Lulubell took the man’s chin and pulled him into a kiss. His eyes widened as his whole face lit up. While in the kiss, Lulubell discretely switched her empty basket with his full one. She parted her lips with his and smiled. She walked the other direction. The men just stood there, motionless, eyes still wide and face still bright red. It would take him a couple of minutes to figure out that Lulubell had just jacked his strawberries.

While walking away, Lulubell wiped her mouth and spit. It would take a couple bowls of milk to wash this taste out of her mouth.
---
Skin was walking through the isles, crushing any plants that got in his was. He finally reached his targets: two kids, running around with their own baskets of strawberries. When the kids saw them, they stared up at him in awe.

“You, kids,” Skin said in his regular intimidating voice, “Give me your strawberries. Now!” HE said. At that moment, he expected them to run away or scream and run away, then he would have to chase them down, take the baskets by force and kill any humans that got involved. Why did humans have to be so unfor…

“Okay, mister big man.” They said happily, holding out their baskets. Skin took a few seconds to stare at them. He finally took the baskets from the two.

“…thank…you…”he said. The kinds nodded as they ran away, laughing.

“…mortal stupidity is so unforgivable.” Skin said, walking away.
---
The Noah’s all met up a half an hour later to assess their earnings.

“So how much you guys get?” Rhode asked.

“I got five baskets.” Skin said, holding up his share

“Jasdevi got five and a half.” Jasdevi said, holding up their share, smiling broadly.

“I got six and a half.” Tyki said, holding his up.

Lulubell held up her hands, each carrying four baskets.

“Pretty good.” Rhode said. “ I got about….eleven or twelve.”

The group stared at her with awe.

“Wow, Rhode, you’re pretty good.” Tyki said, impressed. “…so where are they?”

“They have them.” Rhode said pointing behind her to two young men, carrying her baskets.

“Just tell us where you’d like us to put them, little girl.” One of them said smiling.

“Thanks guys.” She said to them, smiling. “Okay, lets get out of here before somebody realizes that we…”

“Hey! Hold it right there!” someone said. The group turned around to see the
owner of the farm, along with a crowd of people, all looking mad.

“These folks say that you’ve stole their strawberries.” The owner said “I suggest you give them back before im forced to call the authorities.”

Dammit Jasdevi thought to themselves, faces looking grave.

“…ah well, we tried.” Rhode said before snapping her fingers. A whole platoon of Akuma cam flying in. at the command of Tyki, they readied themselves, aimed, and fired.
---

The Earl took one of the best strawberries, threw one in his mouth (which was a spectacle by itself), and swallowed. He smiled even wider.

“These are absolutely terrific!” the Earl said happily “thank you so much, everyone.”

“Your welcome, Earl-sama.” All the Noah said at once, smiling at each other.

“And since you all did such a good job, I’ve got another job for you.” The Earl said “blueberry season is almost over and I haven’t had some in a while. I hear there's this great farm about two miles from the one you were on.”

All the Noah’s faces went grave. They were about to protest against the whole idea. But then they got malevolent smiles on their faces.

“Whatever you want…earl-sama.” Rhode said, her face modeling a sinister smirk.

that was awsome!!!!!!!its so funny how road get wat she wants all the time lol rofl rofl thanks 4 posting it!!