Interesting Moral Question

[WolfChildBaby]

I lost a lot of weight and people do pay more attention. I didn't edulge it or deny it, it was what it was. I felt better about myself and people noticed.

It seems my friends probably had those feelings about my personality before I became "more attractive"

On the flip side, I had a friend in high school that I first met when we were 14. He was kind of dorky and over weight but he was really cool and quickly became one of my best friends. Well when he turned 16 he suddenly had a growth spurt and the weight just kind of distributed (that happens when you suddenly get taller) and he started dressing better and got a really awesome hair cut that totally flatered him. Needless to say if I hadn't been in a relationship already I would have totally tried to get with him. Because the attraction was there, our personalities meshed. If I hadn't been in a relationship and he stayed the same I think those feelings would have been there anyway.

We never ended up together and I never really told him about that and we're still friends. It seems like it's all about how you play it.  

[Crazy_Vamp666]

GilAskan

This is an interesting situation that was once brought forth to me by a friend of mine. A similar thing had happened to him (and to a lesser degree, myself) as is described below, but I'd like to hear what people would do if in the situation themselves.

Alright, here it goes:

Concept

You have never been good looking. By almost any standard. You've always been overweight, and this has always altered your whole look. The extra weight always gave you worse skin, clothes didn't fit you well, and hair-cuts always looks disproportionate.

You have always been a fairly nice person, and intelligent. You have many friends of your preferred sex, but they're just friends. No one has really ever shown any romantic or sexual interest in you, inside or outside your circle of frineds.

Until now.

Dieting and exercise has led to your loss of weight. The loss of weight has fit you very well, leaving you with an extremely attractive face and body. Your clothes all fit well, and almost anything you wear is complementary to your figure. With a better looking face and body, you now pay more attention to your hair and skin, which are now clean and healthy.

For the first time in your life, you are being approached by people romantically. They're flirting with you, some directly, and some very subtley. Even people you've been friends with for years now seem to be somewhat attracted to you. You're no "God of Beauty" or anything, you just now appear to be noticably more attractive than most people around you.

Moral Dilemma

No one particularly noticed you before your "transformation". You now are getting people with both romantic and sexual interest in you, from both people you know and people you've never met.

In such a situation, would you embrace the newfound attraction of your peers? Or would you choose not to, because their interest has only now come forth since you became better looking? Should you enjoy the spoils of your new figure, and take your pick of suitors? Or would you be turned away by their shallow interests which previously ignored your personality and intelligence?

Notes-

Just to clear some things up:

- Again, no, you're not some God of Sex. You aren't some irrefusable pinnacle of human romanticism. You're just good looking. Maybe even as good looking as a movie-star, or a well known musician.

- The "friends" concept should be based around YOUR friends. The scenario isn't meant to be based around the idea that you have all fictional, all shallow pals. No one is perfect, and most people (even those who speak out against discrimination and preach relationships based around personality) will immediately show more interest in a good-looking person.

- No, I'm not trying to define beauty or any such nonsense. When I say you weren't good looking, I mean that the overwhelming majority of people would find you unnattractive. WHen I say you are now good looking, I mean that most people would be attracted to you.

Discuss:
- Embrace the spoils of your hard work, or take a higher moral route?
- Has anything like this happened with you, whether it be weight-loss, changing appearance, even wardrobe change?

Confidence like some one els mentioned is a big thing. And those who were once maybe bigger previously, and were never found attractive cuase there skin, and hair all messy and clothes not matching or fitting do some times give people a reason to see them as not dating matieral.
Im not saying un attractive people or big people cant find love, or be considred attractive and looks should not always be judge so much over personality. But looks do play a strong role in your personality. And can define a big part of who you are to people when they see you. You mentioned weight ausing bad skin, and them having unporportiond hair etc etc. Some tiems they have them selfs to blame. as far as weight is an issue it only means they have to try harder to keep them selfs clean, fit, have a little more confidence there are cloths to fit all sizes, style your hait take care of it, no reason it should be unporportioned just becuase of some oens weight. And if some one lost alot of wieght and become more attractive doesnt mean your freinds were shallow. Becuase if it is at all possible to reach that level of acheivment to become a weight and have a style that makes you confortable, if that is possible to achi then that means all it takes is the effort and the will to TAKE CARE OF ONES SELF. at the previous time how would it have made them look as people to have love or sexual feelings to some one who might not care how they look. That I don't care attitude is a negetive effect. And some people can't help that there big no matter how hard they try, but I've seen big girl's whom I found were very beautiful and were nice. why becuase tyhey were confident in who they were, they kept them selfs clean, they dressed nice, they made the attempt to live a happy life the way they want, no excuses.
Thats all it takes. so your freiands could or could not be shallow for likeing you when you changed. Becuase who knows who might have feel for your personality. But if you showed any signs of not taking care of your body, that could have played a role on why some one mgiht not have loved you.

I shouldn't have replied to this. I try not to reply unless It's short or I knbow I can make scene of it but I know a few will agree and others will probably not get what im saying. I've probably upset people, and if I have I apologies. I tried to make scene of this.  

[Eyelash Curlers and Stars]

If somebody had been a complete a*****e to me before the "transformation" (for lack of a better word), I wouldn't give them the time of day. Since we're talking about friends, though, I'm going to assume that they weren't like that.

I don't think you can blame them for that. Yes, personality and intelligence are important, but so is your looks to some degree. People aren't attracted to beautiful people for no reason. For the most part, better-looking people are more healthy than less attractive ones. A big part of being attractive is not being overweight and taking care of yourself, which also hints to a somewhat lazy or uncaring personality. I'm not saying you should base your opinion of somebody completely off of their looks, but they do give you some information.

Besides that, different people are attracted to different things. I have some friends who actually believe that fat people are beautiful.  

[xXConfused_FateXx]

i don't want a guy to fall for me for my looks, though i want him to notice me. so i guess, when it comes to my friends there is really only one guy in my group, and i've dated him before. but he broke up with me because i didn't appeal to him. so i guess i would rub it in his face. just because.
and besides, a guy has to accept me for ALL of me, not just my looks, or intelligence, or humor.  

[trampyre]

GilAskan

Discuss:
- Embrace the spoils of your hard work, or take a higher moral route?
- Has anything like this happened with you, whether it be weight-loss, changing appearance, even wardrobe change?

It happened to me when I learned how to dress in a way that flattered my complexion, figure, etc better. I seemed to get more attention when I changed my glasses for contacts too, rolleyes but later I went back to glasses (albeit 'funky' ones) and now men seem to care less about that. What we find attractive about others depends on age and maturity to some extent, perhaps?

Additionally, as a general rule I think it's worth noting that girls get more attention from guys when they get breasts or find some way to enhance/show off the figure they already have. Again, rolleyes

Interesting topic.  

[AdrianaKitten]

I'd politely ignore it.
Pre-baby, I looked nice and got quite a bit of attention but it's kind of my nature to be extremely quiet and modest plus I was never satisfied with myself. If I had confidence, it wasn't much regardless of the attention which had stopped phasing me.
Post-baby, I've made a lot of decisions which narrowed the doorway for compliments on my physical being but I can say I've never liked myself more even though now I get much less attention. I have had the opposite experience? neutral
In your scenario, if I were to revert or just improve what I have, I'd probably still ignore it. Not to be cold but because I think I rarely get comments on my personality, which really matters to me now. 3nodding
There is nothing wrong with people who want it though.