Things video game characters would never say.

[Snow the Wanderer]

Wario: Gives up garlic for minty toothpaste.
Yoshi: Goes to school and learns how to speak english.
Luigi: Commits suicide during Peach's ball to get attention.
Mario: Gets shoved out of an airlock by Luigi (before he commits suicide)
Peach: Starts going out with Waluigi.

MY GOD. I HAVE CREATED A MINI SOAP. gonk  

[The Omniscient D]

Sephiroth: LIKE O-M-G!!! CLOUD! That is SUCH a good name for you! C-LOUUD. OH! It has SUCH a RING to it!  

[kurtis1337]

Any Pokemon: *ANYTHING OTHE THAN THEIR NAME*  

[Sayd MK X]

Link:madness?THIS IS SPARTAAAAAAAA!!!!!!
Mario:ITS OVER NINE THOUSAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAND!!!!!  

[Sir Nunatak]

Ganondorf: *cries* "I want my mommy! Everyone is so mean to me!"  

[The Anti Thesis]

Crash Bandicoot: Anything that doesn't sound like he's throwing up.

Sonic: SLOW DOWN!  

[rya12344]

link:i wonder if sony will make my next game  

[Reala Night]

Master Hand when defeated: Oh dear, i seem to have been defeated. Oh well you'll turn back into a trophie anyway. I don't understand why we have to fight. why not throw a party instead?
Mario: Yeah i'll throw a party with lots of illegal stuff!

*mario throws a party for the rest of the characters, where chaos ensues*

I'll leave the chaos up to the imagination.  

[rya12344]

master hand:WTF im a floating glove let me be!!  

[cyotek]

snake form brawl: I'm to sexy for my box  

[Kouenki]

Tom Nook: This house upgrade is free because you spend so much money at my store.  

[cyotek]

lol  

[Fairy Alchemist 96]

Mario:I WANNA BE A PLUMBER AGAIN crying gonk  

[rya12344]

link:i have the most popular game series and in all of them i say what like two words?!?  

[Kirby The 3rd]

Master Chief: "I gotta crap. How do I get this thing off?"
Mario: "Hey, you. Lookin' for some 'shrooms? I got what you neeeeed." (lol)
Ganandorf: "Link, aren't you coming to bed?"
Midna: "I just realized something. I'M NAKED!!!" (not talking about the ending cut scene for those of you who are contradictory, although she is scantily clad in that scene stare )