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Long ago there lived a jester, whose life's goal was to make everyone he met laugh. But it wasn't as easy or simple as it sounded. This is his story.
It isn't a long story, for it wasn't a long life. It was, however, a life of incident and adventure, though the latter were usually accidental. I first met him during one of these adventures, on a day I will never forget.
I, Chris P. Bacon was walking down the village road when he came up to me. He told me this joke and he asked me what do you call a bad psychic?
and the answer was: Telepathetic! and the next joke was
...so bad that I can't write it down for fear that your eyes will drop from their very sockets in horror. That day happened to be a particularly fine day, and there I was ruining it with my bad jokes. The jester simply stared at me, uncomprehending.
That was when the monster charged out of the woods, blood dripping from its slavering mouth. It seems that the joker had tried to make him laugh by telling him the very same joke earlier in the day. He hadn't appreciated it.
The unappreciation was understandable; the overreaction wasn't. The jester and I turned and ran from the monster. The jester slipped on a loose pebble in the road and fell heavily to the ground.
As the jester fell I turned to watch in terror as the monster fell upon the ground... in laughter? I watched in amazement as the bloody and hairy brute gave a bark of laughter, and he couldn't stop," You should've seen your face!! Bwahahahahahaaaa!!!!" I ran to the jester and helped him up and we stared at the brute in amazement.
"Really, what a bipolar monster!" I exclaimed to myself. "Can't you make up your mind?" The jester turned to look at me, then back at the monster.
"I guess it just has a more...primitive... sense of humor," the jester said with a sigh. "From now on, I will carry more banana peels with me when I go into the woods." As I was trying to come up with a way to explain that this might be a bad idea, as some monsters would see a fallen jester as a meal rather than a joke (or perhaps as both), a sudden clamor arose on the road behind us.
A large procession rode up behind us. It seemed to me to be a gathering of old, rich people, which I avoided by principle. The jester, though, gathered himself up and approached the procession, ready to get them to all laugh.
And I must admit, he put on quite a show. He juggled knives, slipped on banana peels, told jokes, and acted out charades. He even pulled rabbits out of his hat, which was quite a feat as he hadn't been wearing a hat when I saw him. His audience was strangely silent, however, until his final act.
"And for my next trick it involves my new partner...er umm...what's your name again?" The jester asked me. "Cchriss," I said with grave hesitation.
"Cchriss? Interesting name. Now gather around closely my fair friends, for this is a sight you will never again be witness too. No soul as ever before attempted such a dangerous and astonishing feat."
"Dangerous?" I quavered. "I don't think I like this idea."
That was when the jester decided he would never, ever, under any circumstances make me laugh. I've never been able to decide whether that was his revenge or a reward.
"say jester", i asked, "who are these grumpy old people following you about?"
"oh, those are my agents, attorneys, accountants, and reps from the JIAA, you know the jester industry making sure they get royalties" he sighed.
"say, do you suppose, just for the hell of it, or maybe for a few dollars..and rabbits...and bananas...you could try to laugh at something for me, just to get these guys off my back?"
The grumpy old men stared at the jester with a look of distate like he had just asked them to eat something nasty. "Come on guys it won't hurt if you laugh at my jokes; *too much*," the jester said. The jester then took my hand and raised up to the sky,"May I have your attention please!"
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