I don't have much to say that hasn't been said already. But you definately need an ebony pencil (allows for more dynamic shading--you can get much darker than with a normal pencil) and a blending stick. There are a lot of fairly large spaces that are just scribbled (I know how mean that sounds, but all I mean is that the pencil strokes are obvious and there white spots in between them and such) in and don't look realistic.
Like someone else said, do some more observational drawings. Get an easily movable lamp and point it at some simple objects like geometric shapes, various textures, wrinkled cloth, etc....
I like the abstract drawing, by the way. But I tend to go for abstract stuff whether it's 'good' by others' standards or not, so mabye I'm biased... ^^
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