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Posted: Wed Jul 22, 2009 1:44 pm
I had to restore my laptop yesterday. I was acting all slow and weird.
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Posted: Sat Aug 01, 2009 4:53 pm
I have 626,172 gold. The most I've ever had.
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Posted: Wed Aug 05, 2009 8:46 pm
I love Reese's Pieces cereal. MMM
I tried to go water skiing. No lakes had a slope! cry
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Posted: Wed Aug 05, 2009 8:47 pm
M&Ms are really hard to peel! stare
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Lil Brat generated a random number between
1 and 30 ...
19!
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Posted: Thu Sep 03, 2009 7:27 pm
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Posted: Wed Sep 09, 2009 9:47 pm
Boy am I tired! Talk about yawning up a storm!! I don't want to go to bed yet!
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Posted: Thu Oct 08, 2009 11:11 pm
For giggles: Why Women Are Crabby
We started to 'bud' in our blouses at 9 or 10 years old only to find that anything that came in contact with those tender, blooming buds hurt so bad it brought us to tears. So came the ridiculously uncomfortable training bra contraption that the boys in school would snap until we had calluses on our backs.
Next, we get our periods in our early to mid-teens (or sooner). Along with those budding boobs, we bloated, we cramped, we got the hormone crankies, had to wear little mattresses between our legs or insert tubular, packed cotton rods in places we didn't even know we had.
Our next little rite of passage was having sex for the first time which was about as much fun as having a ramrod push your uterus through your nostrils (IF he did it right and didn't end up with his little cart before his horse), leaving us to wonder what all the fuss was about.
Then it was off to Motherhood where we learned to live on dry crackers and water for a few months so we didn't spend the entire day leaning over Brother John. Of course, amazing creatures that we are (and we are), we learned to live with the growing little angels inside us steadily kicking our innards night and day making us wonder if we were preparing to have Rosemary's Baby.
Our once flat bellies looked like we swallowed a whole watermelon and we pee'd our pants every time we sneezed. When the big moment arrived, the dam in our blessed Nether Regions invariably burst right in the middle of the mall and we had to waddle, with our big cartoon feet, moaning in pain, all the way to the ER.
Then it was huff and puff and beg to die while the OB says, 'Please stop screaming, Mrs Hearmeroar. Calm down and push. 'Just one more good push' (more like 10), warranting a strong, well-deserved impulse to punch the %$#*@*#!* hubby and doctor square in the nose for making us cram a wiggling, mushroom-headed 10 pound bowling ball through a keyhole.
After that, it was time to raise those angels, only to find that when all that 'cute' wears off, the beautiful little darlings morphed into walking, jabbering, wet, gooey, snot-blowing, life-sucking little poop machines.
Then come their 'Teen Years.' Need I say more?
When the kids are almost grown, we women hit our voracious sexual prime in our early 40's - while hubby had his somewhere around his 18th birthday.
So we progress into the grand finale: 'The Menopause,' the Grandmother of all womanhood It's either take HRT and chance cancer in those now seasoned 'buds' or the aforementioned Nether Regions, or sweat like a hog in July, wash your sheets and pillowcases daily and bite the head off anything that moves.
Now, you ask WHY women seem to be more spiteful than men, when men get off so easy, INCLUDING the icing on life's cake: Being able to pee in the woods without soaking their socks...
So, while I love being a woman, 'Womanhood' would make the Great Gandhi a tad crabby. You think women are the 'weaker sex?' Yeah right. Bite me.
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Posted: Thu Dec 17, 2009 8:39 am
Lil brat that was/is soo good and true!!!. Laughing so hard I'm crying. Thank you, have to take one of those darling teens shopping.
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Posted: Thu Dec 17, 2009 9:31 am
Lil brat - Yes you definitely read my mind on that one.
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Posted: Sat Dec 19, 2009 11:21 am
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Posted: Mon Dec 21, 2009 7:07 pm
Midnight Star Domi Kweee Found! 4laugh
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Posted: Fri Jan 01, 2010 1:12 pm
Happy New Year!!!
My butt is dragging. Was up with teens for new year party. It ended at 2am. Went to bed at 3am. Was up at 7am.
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Posted: Sat Feb 20, 2010 10:24 pm
Had a little tour to the casino to see Charo perform ~ lol, at 60 she stilll ROCKS ~ funny and still manages to look like Miss Lil Sexy Thang
"I know what's happening in Washington. Uncle Sam is NOT your Uncle ~ he's cabron, he's your lover ~ he's screwing every body." CHARO
Lol ~ that was just one of many ~ *Scoots out to download the CD so has it on her IPod.*
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Posted: Mon Feb 22, 2010 1:19 am
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Posted: Tue Mar 09, 2010 9:24 pm
Lol ~ thanks Ceymore - I needed that. heart
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