In a bad mood? come here and rant till you feel better

[Collowrath]

I'm an Other that isn't an Other. :/ The benefits of privilege in this place are many, but WOW is it painful to have my identity stripped at will by Them because of the color of my skin or the name gifted to me by my father.

"You don't have a funny name, quit trying to be different."

"Oh, you're just white, quit acting like something special."

Sometimes, assimilation would be so much easier, it seems. I'm steadily understanding the fight my grandparents had living here, and why my grandmother did the things she did and why my mother is the way she is.

I'm still really looking forward to Nuri's thread on privilege - though I'm thinking it might be a bit painful.

*shell shocked*  

[maenad nuri]

Musical_Vampire_Socks

Why do I have to wait so long for guilds to reply to my join requests ahhhhh

Because crews and captains sometimes aren't always online.  

[TeaDidikai]

Collowrath

I'm an Other that isn't an Other. :/ The benefits of privilege in this place are many, but WOW is it painful to have my identity stripped at will by Them because of the color of my skin or the name gifted to me by my father.

"You don't have a funny name, quit trying to be different."

"Oh, you're just white, quit acting like something special."

Sometimes, assimilation would be so much easier, it seems. I'm steadily understanding the fight my grandparents had living here, and why my grandmother did the things she did and why my mother is the way she is.

I'm still really looking forward to Nuri's thread on privilege - though I'm thinking it might be a bit painful.

*shell shocked*

I can, and regularly do pass.

It's interesting, being tempted to cast aside a culture that can be socially crippling.  

[Collowrath]

TeaDidikai

I can, and regularly do pass.

It's interesting, being tempted to cast aside a culture that can be socially crippling.

Heh, my passability depends on the situation and my present company, actually. When I'm with a lot of Anglo people, I'm taken as Anglo. When I am with my best-friend and her family, who are Native Mexican, I am mistaken for Latino - something I share with a lot of Balkan men, Croatians in particular, in my area. That has led to some very uncomfortable experiences that they explained as being par for the course and that I have "gotten used to" in a way that disturbs me a little.

I had a Czech friend in high school who had a prominent epicanthic fold (the fold in the eye that gives East Asian people the distinct eye shape). This is actually a pretty common feature among some people of Slavic descent - I had prominent epicanthic folds as well when I was little. People always mistook her for "some kind of Asian."

The biggest thing that makes me stand out is my hair. My partner, who does hair for a living, is always complaining about how hard it is to take care of because it's thick, like Anglos, but each strand is thin and fine like some of his Asian clients. The texture and make-up of my hair is pretty common among his Balkan clients, as well, but rare among Anglos. It tends to be a "novelty" for them; they always want to touch it and play with it and that's something that kind of terrorized me as a child. I had to keep it shaved very short because of how uncomfortable it made me when everyone wanted to play with it. I'm still very much uncomfortable with it, especially.

Anyways, the point of all that is that I get to straddle this very uncomfortable line where I can exercise white privilege whenever it benefits me, but there are definite times where I am removed from those privileges based on physical traits that are usually overlooked. Because those physical traits are often overlooked because of my skin color, cultural quirks or linguistic quirks that I retain are sometimes attacked or made to seem ridiculous or unreasonable. :/ There's a constant self-censorship in some situations to avoid those things coming out into the open; once those things do come into the open people seem to assume that because my skin is white then I must be play acting or just being stupid.

It's just really uncomfortable and I'm not sure I can articulate it. confused  

[Recursive Paradox]

Is there as much stock put on passing in racial groups as there are among trans folk? Or are my people a bit of an anomaly? Cuz it seriously feels like it's pushed on us by our own to pass as cis.  

[Violet Song jat Shariff]

Collowrath

TeaDidikai

I can, and regularly do pass.

It's interesting, being tempted to cast aside a culture that can be socially crippling.

Heh, my passability depends on the situation and my present company, actually. When I'm with a lot of Anglo people, I'm taken as Anglo. When I am with my best-friend and her family, who are Native Mexican, I am mistaken for Latino - something I share with a lot of Balkan men, Croatians in particular, in my area. That has led to some very uncomfortable experiences that they explained as being par for the course and that I have "gotten used to" in a way that disturbs me a little.

I had a Czech friend in high school who had a prominent epicanthic fold (the fold in the eye that gives East Asian people the distinct eye shape). This is actually a pretty common feature among some people of Slavic descent - I had prominent epicanthic folds as well when I was little. People always mistook her for "some kind of Asian."

The biggest thing that makes me stand out is my hair. My partner, who does hair for a living, is always complaining about how hard it is to take care of because it's thick, like Anglos, but each strand is thin and fine like some of his Asian clients. The texture and make-up of my hair is pretty common among his Balkan clients, as well, but rare among Anglos. It tends to be a "novelty" for them; they always want to touch it and play with it and that's something that kind of terrorized me as a child. I had to keep it shaved very short because of how uncomfortable it made me when everyone wanted to play with it. I'm still very much uncomfortable with it, especially.

Anyways, the point of all that is that I get to straddle this very uncomfortable line where I can exercise white privilege whenever it benefits me, but there are definite times where I am removed from those privileges based on physical traits that are usually overlooked. Because those physical traits are often overlooked because of my skin color, cultural quirks or linguistic quirks that I retain are sometimes attacked or made to seem ridiculous or unreasonable. :/ There's a constant self-censorship in some situations to avoid those things coming out into the open; once those things do come into the open people seem to assume that because my skin is white then I must be play acting or just being stupid.

It's just really uncomfortable and I'm not sure I can articulate it. confused

I think I understand what you're trying to say (or a little bit of what you're going through) in general. Especially the bolded. It's made for some interesting thought trains lately.

And the hair thing, with people wanting to touch it or play with it - one of the main reasons I started covering my hair. It sounds off topic, but when you talked about the discomfort involved in it, I was relieved in an odd way that I wasn't the only one who was really weirded out by that sweatdrop .

Sorry to ramble.  

[CuAnnan]

Celeblin Galadeneryn

Recursive Paradox

Is there as much stock put on passing in racial groups as there are among trans folk? Or are my people a bit of an anomaly? Cuz it seriously feels like it's pushed on us by our own to pass as cis.

Would depend on the locale. I would imagine that some European Rroma would prefer to "pass" rather than be overtly noticed, but that's for much of the same reason why some of them wouldn't report births, since certain European governments like to take catalogues of them at times.

That is most definitely true.  

[Calixti]

Celeblin Galadeneryn

...BUT STOP ******** TOUCHING ME WITHOUT ASKING >.> Some people just lack respect.

THIS X A BILLION AND TWENTY-SEVEN. It's not so much my HAIR anymore since I started wearing it up (and seriously, WHY do people feel the urge to touch my hair once it reaches shoulder-length? It's nothing special) but people ALWAYS touch my hoodies or my bracelets, and yeah, they mean to COMPLIMENT me--'oh, I love your hoodie! hooray Space Invaders!' 'oh, that bracelet is so cool, where did you get it?' but they can do that WITHOUT touching me, ffs.

And apparently, I sometimes look SO helpless that STRANGERS feel compelled to grab my arm or shoulders to 'help' me. GTFO my personal space, please--if I look sick enough for you to NOTICE, such invasions are going to make it WORSE.  

[Collowrath]

Recursive Paradox

Is there as much stock put on passing in racial groups as there are among trans folk? Or are my people a bit of an anomaly? Cuz it seriously feels like it's pushed on us by our own to pass as cis.

Like Celeblin said, this depends on the community. For communities like Slovaks, Poles, etc that have been accepted by Anglos as "fellow whites," it isn't such an issue. For the Balkans and people who are "ambiguous" like myself, it's somewhat of a different issue altogether; we're part of the white fold so to speak, but we look different. It leads to raised eyebrows and people asking "How come you look Mexican?" or other such inane things.

That's really uncomfortable.

Violet Song jat Shariff

I think I understand what you're trying to say (or a little bit of what you're going through) in general. Especially the bolded. It's made for some interesting thought trains lately.

And the hair thing, with people wanting to touch it or play with it - one of the main reasons I started covering my hair. It sounds off topic, but when you talked about the discomfort involved in it, I was relieved in an odd way that I wasn't the only one who was really weirded out by that icon_sweatdrop.gif.

It's lead to a lot of discomfort for me lately. I guess I'm just working out my place in it and its affects on me.

I'm still very touchy about my hair. I'm not entirely comfortable with it, and I'm still less comfortable about people touching it. sweatdrop Hair is a funny thing, I guess.  

[Violet Song jat Shariff]

Celeblin Galadeneryn

I get the hair thing too, mostly due to colour, however my hair makeup is near the same as Col's, individually it's really fine, but there's a lot of it, so it's rather thick.

Honestly I'm fine with some people playing with my hair, and I get that red, even a red heavy auburn, as I am is a rare colour...

...BUT STOP ******** TOUCHING ME WITHOUT ASKING >.> Some people just lack respect.

Mine is thick, and the strands are rather thick (and coarse, for some reason).

But yea, exactly. I'm not a dog; no one outside of "family" gets to pet me >.>

Collowrath

people asking "How come you look Mexican?" or other such inane things.

GAH. I get that too. Pisses me the ******** off stressed . I have no idea why people don't just directly ask "Oh hey, what is your heritage?" I'm more than happy to answer that. Asking me "Oh do you speak Mexican at home?" makes me want to kick teeth in.

Collowrath

I'm still very touchy about my hair. I'm not entirely comfortable with it, and I'm still less comfortable about people touching it. sweatdrop Hair is a funny thing, I guess.

For me, having someone I'm close to play with my hair is really relaxing and comforting, so to have a total stranger or someone I don't know well coming up and handling it really REALLY makes me feel...icky. I can't even think of the right word for it. The "I'm gonna go take a hot shower and wash myself with a scouring pad" kind of icky.  

[whiporwill-o]

ugh, lost my job for the second time in a year. had to move in with my mom, double ugh. and it really weirds me out when she touches me *shudders*. never my back or my shoulder or my arms, no, its always my hips, my waist and my butt! back the ******** off, ever hear of personal space, mom?! i am 23 years old! this is MY body, not yours, i don't care if you DID give birth to me, i am a person, not an object for you to grope, grab and hang on to, LEAVE ME ALONE!!!!!!! everytime you put your ******** hands on me i feel like i need a ******** shower *locks self in bedroom*