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 Posted: Wed Mar 13, 2013 5:39 am
Pink Fregia Two dwarfs go into a bar, where they pick up two ' working girls ' and take them to their separate hotel rooms for an hour of pleasure.
The first dwarf, however, is unable to get an erection.
His depression is made worse by the fact that, from the next room, he hears his friend shouting out cries of, "Here I come again! ONE, TWO, THREE ....UGH! " " Here I come again! ONE, TWO, THREE.... UGH!" "Here I come again! ONE, TWO, THREE ... UGH!" This goes on for the whole hour.
Later back at the bar, the second dwarf asks the first, ;
" How did it go?"
The first mutters,
" It was embarrassing. I just couldn't get an erection."
The second dwarf shook his head.
" You think that's embarrassing? I couldn't get on the bed. " lmao! rofl
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Posted: Wed Mar 13, 2013 5:47 am
check this!
Q: Why did Smokey the Bear never have children?
A: Every time his wife got hot, he stamped her out.
lol
What do you call 24 blondes in a box?
A case of empties!
Energizer Bunny
Previous Next
What happens when you put the Energizer Bunny batteries in backward?
He keeps coming and coming and coming...
Classic Booty Call... Flintstone
Previous Next
I may not be Fred Flintstone, but I can make your bed rock.
Geek Booty Call... Dice
Previous Next
According to my percentile dice, I'm supposed to have charmed you by now.
Curious George
Previous Next
What did the man in the big yellow hat have to do every day when Curious George broke a glass or a plate?
Spank his monkey.
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Posted: Thu Mar 14, 2013 5:14 pm
http://static.themetapicture.com/media/funny-gif-seven-dwarves-quiz.gif
Why didn't one of them say "Happy"?
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Posted: Sat Mar 16, 2013 5:20 am
Perfect Man, Perfect Woman
There was a perfect man and a perfect woman. They met each other at a perfect party. They dated for two perfect years. They had the perfect wedding and the perfect honeymoon. They had two perfect children.
One day the perfect man and the perfect woman were driving in there perfect car, they saw Santa Claus at the side of the road, being the perfect people they were they picked him up, because they didn't want to make their perfect children (who were at home with their perfect babysitter) mad because it was close to Chritmas.
Well as the perfect man and the perfect woman were driving with Santa Claus, somehow they got into an accident. Two people died and 1 lived.
Who died and who lived?
The perfect woman because the perfect man and Santa Claus aren't real.
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Posted: Sun Mar 17, 2013 8:33 pm
Men at 25 play football.
Men at 40 play tennis.
Men at 60 play golf.
Have you noticed that as men get older, their balls get smaller?
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Posted: Mon Mar 18, 2013 8:05 am
Pink Fregia Men at 25 play football.
Men at 40 play tennis.
Men at 60 play golf.
Have you noticed that as men get older, their balls get smaller? lol too funny!
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Posted: Mon Mar 18, 2013 8:13 am
Gourmet Booty Call... Cream
Previous Next
I need your help making a cream sauce.
lol
OHH!!
Gourmet Booty Call... Cucumber
Previous Next
I can teach you how to handle a cucumber.
Dead in His Cornflakes
Previous Next
Q: Did you hear about the guy they found dead with his head in his cornflakes?
A: The police thought it was a cereal killer.
Irish Eats Italian
Previous Next
Q: What does an Irishman get after eating Italian food?
A: Gaelic breath.
Blonde in a Library
Previous Next
A blonde walks into a library and says to the librarian, "Can I have a burger and fries?"
"Sorry, this is a library."
So the blonde whispers, "Oh, sorry. May I have a burger and fries?"
Gourmet Booty Call... Lick
Previous Next
Can I lick your bowl?
Homeless people here are different. You ever notice that? Our homeless people are serious, man. They have signs that not only say, 'Will work for food,' some of them have what they want: 'Baked potato, salad, shrimp, sweet potato pie, sour chives.'
lol
Lesbians, Diets and Makeup
Previous Next
Q: Why don't lesbians go on diets and wear expensive perfume at the same time?
A: It's hard to be on Jenny Craig when you've got Liz Claiborne all over you.
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Posted: Mon Mar 18, 2013 8:26 am
Frog Talk
Previous Next
A grandson runs up to his grandfather and asks him if he can talk like a frog.
"Of course not," says the grandfather. A few minutes later, his granddaughter asks him the same question.
"No, of course not. Why are you both asking me this?"
The granddaughter replies, "Dad said that when you croak,
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Posted: Mon Mar 18, 2013 8:29 am
check this!
Miss Piggy's Addition
Q: Why can't Miss Piggy count to 70?
A: Because she gets a frog in her throat at 69.
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Posted: Tue Mar 19, 2013 9:38 am
Walks Into a Bar... Leprechaun Pee
Previous Next
A leprechaun walks into a bar. After several pitchers of beer, the leprechaun runs over to a large, mean-looking guy, sticks out his tongue and spits all his legs. The guy reaches out to grab the leprechaun, only to miss him as he jumps back to his seat.
"If you know what's good for you, don't come near me again, or I'll rip off your little tallywagger," yells the mean-looking guy.
After a few more pitchers, the leprechaun runs over to the mean-looking guy, sticks out his tongue and spits all over his legs again. This time, the guy successfully catches the leprechaun.
"All right, I've got you this time. I warned you -- now I'm gonna rip off your little tallywagger!"
The leprechaun laughs, "You can't do that."
"Why not?" asks his captor.
"Because," giggles the leprechaun, "leprechauns don't have tallywaggers."
"Whadda ya mean you don't have a tallywagger?" growls the angry man, "How in the hell do you pee?"
"Just like this," laughs the leprechaun as he sticks out his tongue and spits.
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Posted: Tue Mar 19, 2013 9:40 am
Mini Meanie
Previous Next
The golf course was haunted by a malicious, evil leprechaun who exploited the ambitions of the poorer players. He popped up beside one unfortunate man who was participating in a club competition.
"Look," he said, "if you agree never to court a woman, flirt with a girl or marry, I'll help you win."
"Done," shouted the young golfer. The leprechaun was very pleased with conniving ways, and chuckled merrily.
When the golfer was in the clubhouse being praised by the other members, the leprechaun popped up on the shelf of the locker. "Hey," said the little elf, "I have to have your name for my records. What is it?"
"Father Murphy," grinned the golfer as he adjusted his Roman collar.
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Posted: Tue Mar 19, 2013 9:52 am
All of this you can find in http://wiki.answers.comDo leprechauns like coke? They are fictional and food is rarely described outside the cereal. Is there any proof of Chucky vs Leprechaun? yes and chucky killed the leprechan!!!!! that is all How do Leprechauns pass the time? give swirlies Is there a girl leprechaun? Little green men could hardly live without them, but by definition they are male faeries. Am I a leprechaun? No, you're just REALLY short. What do you use as bait for a leprechaun? Ignorance. You are leprechaun bait. A bowl of Lucky Charms. And some whiskey. How much gold is in a leprechauns pot according to lore? The size of the pot. Why do they say you will find a pot of gold at the end of the rainbow? Well that means if you work hard you'll reach your dream. Working hard to climb a rainbow. What does the word leprechaun mean in Irish? In Ireland it is spelled leipreachan and is described as a pigmy, a sprite, or half bodied, or small bodied. What is a Pot of Gold? its gold in a pot. What do you call the stick a Leprechaun carries? The Leprechaun's cane is called a shillelagh (pronounced sha-lay-lee). What is a leprecaun's hat called? A leprechaun's hat. If you get hit by lightning will you turn into a merman? No. There are several things wrong with you logic. People are hit by lighting all the time and all they get is hurt and burns.
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Posted: Tue Mar 19, 2013 9:54 am
killafrog All of this you can find in http://wiki.answers.comDo leprechauns like coke? They are fictional and food is rarely described outside the cereal. Is there any proof of Chucky vs Leprechaun? yes and chucky killed the leprechan!!!!! that is all How do Leprechauns pass the time? give swirlies Is there a girl leprechaun? Little green men could hardly live without them, but by definition they are male faeries. Am I a leprechaun? No, you're just REALLY short. What do you use as bait for a leprechaun? Ignorance. You are leprechaun bait. A bowl of Lucky Charms. And some whiskey. How much gold is in a leprechauns pot according to lore? The size of the pot. Why do they say you will find a pot of gold at the end of the rainbow? Well that means if you work hard you'll reach your dream. Working hard to climb a rainbow. What does the word leprechaun mean in Irish? In Ireland it is spelled leipreachan and is described as a pigmy, a sprite, or half bodied, or small bodied. What is a Pot of Gold? its gold in a pot. What do you call the stick a Leprechaun carries? The Leprechaun's cane is called a shillelagh (pronounced sha-lay-lee). What is a leprecaun's hat called? A leprechaun's hat. If you get hit by lightning will you turn into a merman? No. There are several things wrong with you logic. People are hit by lighting all the time and all they get is hurt and burns. lol good rofl
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Posted: Tue Mar 19, 2013 9:56 am
sorry just had to add this!
Q: What do you get when you mix chocolate and Viagra?
A: Oooh -- Henry!
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Posted: Tue Mar 19, 2013 6:13 pm
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